What women have taught me!

[OS OK]

Char-Gar hit the nail on the head. My point or contribution is that men do their share of sorry things also.

Most of us realize that...there's a lot of chest puffing and bashing going on in this thread...many men I've known are just horney dogs and deserve whatever they get from the women. People need to learn how to treat each other, not use each other. This is by no means a lopsided situation weighing heavily on the women's side...but I'll tell you this, If I were younger and in the dating scene, I'd be dang careful where I went to meet eligible women...especially careful about dating someone I met at some bar.

What you see is what you get.

[Ole Joe Clarke]

Well, I'm gonna keep the good one I have. I told her if she ever left, I was going with her. Next Sunday, Oct 23, we start our 53rd year. God has blessed us, and it was "till death do us part." It still is.

[winchester85]

not bitter or unhappy by any stretch. life has been good.

[NavyVet1959]

"Women just think *differently*... " Navyvet

Shouldn't that be; Women just "think" differently?

Well, I was going to add:

"And I'm using the word 'think' very loosely"

[Murphy]

My first wife up and died on me....

The one I got now? Just won't!!!


(Just jokin' about wife #2)

Murphy

[NavyVet1959]

I've always said that marriage is finding someone that you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

And the secret to a long marriage is neither of you being willing to admit that you made a mistake by getting married...

[Blackwater]

There's an old country song called "I overlooked an orchid while searching for a rose." I think that's at the root of a lot of marital problems today. If you go looking for a "good time," you can find that, but it definitely doesn't typically translate over into a happy, lifelong relationship. We generally find what we go looking for, and calling a "good time" a "wife" is pretty assumptive that all marriage is is a "good time." It's not. Marriage is about commitment in good times and bad, in sickness and in health, 'till death do us part. Many won't even use the traditional wedding vows any more! Is it any wonder they don't last, when they won't even, at the wedding, make a real, bona fide commitment to each other? Without real commitment, marriage and relationships are doomed. Some live together before being married, but that hasn't solved anything either, because without the commitment, they're still just having a "good time" and simply making it more convenient for both parties.

Women have the same sexual needs as men do, and in a culture where there are no "rules" of personal behavior, folks just do whatever impulse bids them to, and marriage is a whole 'nother thing compared to just having a good time sexually or otherwise. Sex is less than 1% of marriage, but it is, obviously, one of the most pleasurable and powerful factors in it. But nailing that runway model look alike is all about pleasure and bragging rights with friends, and status in the "sex game." But it's not a very good way to pick a wife.

Those women you overlook - have you taken a 2nd look or reconsidered just what they are, or why you overlook them? That can be a mistake. Any time we allow ourselves to be rooked into behaving like Pavlov's dogs, we get fed dogfood, not steak and potatoes. That's not exactly a wonder, is it? And the funny thing about "plain looking" women is that they often tend to age very well, while the runway models often don't.

There are times when "a bird in the hand" is indeed better than two in the bushes, but when it comes to women, that philosophy is badly misplaced. A good woman ain't easy to seduce, so many go on to easier territory, and in doing so, leave behind the greatest asset any man can find in this life. There's a reason it's said that behind every powerful man is a good woman. Nothing shows a man's character like his choice of a wife.

Ever noticed those elderly couples that don't say much to each other, but look at each other in the eyes, and hold hands as they walk from a restaurant back to their car? THAT is the way to really live life. And if you'll notice, most of them are pleasant looking. It's that satisfied smile - a usually subtle thing - that they wear that makes them so "attractive." There's a lesson in simply watching folks in a restaurant, if we simply allow ourselves to see it. Good answers are everywhere, but .... we so often simply turn away from them in preference for something more "shiny" and appealing .... at least for the moment. Passion is as bad as drunkeness in making people make bad decisions. It really may be even worse. Passion can lead us to do things that when we get sober the next day, we'd NEVER do!

[Col4570]

Been married for 58 years,one daughter, three grown grand sons,one great grandson.I suppose luck plays a great part in how it works out.The pathway can be rocky at times but the good times outweigh all.

[Ballistics in Scotland]

If, God forbid, I ever wound up single again, I wouldn't get married either, but not because I am unhappy or don't like being married. I'm not 22 anymore, I'm 50, set in my ways and have really lost an ability to adapt to things which I think is typical of men (and probably women) and I just cannot imagine having to get used to all the little quirks of someone new who I had to have that intimate an existence with and I don't think I could reasonably expect someone else to either.

Yes, exactly. The people who say they would never get married again fall into approximately two quite separate groups. The people who say they would are just a fraction, willing to imagine what many find unthinkable, of those who would actually do it.

[Ballistics in Scotland]

Here is a Kipling poem of which feminists often quote just the first few lines as a classic example of male chauvinist piggery. But it goes on to develop something quite significant. Men in war, hunting or politics often develop a strong fellow-feeling for the adversary, or at least they used to. I think of my old childhood friend the pathologically shy First World War sniper, who got into the army with e "Daily Mail" for the 4th August 1914 wadded up inside his boots to make the height, and never killed anyone he could send home to take his pension. Or his friend who minded a silver flute for a wounded prisoner, and sent it home to Bavaria after the war. Or Harry Patch, the last surviving trench solder, who made that same agreement with his No1 on the Lewis gun, to wound anybody they could avoid killing.

Kipling says that a woman's natural role is protecting her children, in which no such compromise is possible. In modern life her ideas and beliefs take the same role, and anybody who endangers them has to take the fall. An aggravating factor is that we live in a changing society, where people move from one environment to another. A medieval peasant couple could be pretty sure of believing in the same things all their lives, but today people change.

The Female of the Species

By RudyardKipling

When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride,
He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside.
But the female, thus accosted, rends the peasant tooth and nail,
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

When Nag the basking cobra hears the careless foot of man,
He will sometimes wriggle sideways and avoid it if he can.
But his mate makes no such motion where she camps beside the trail,
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

When the early Jesuit fathers preached to Hurons and Choctaws,
They prayed to be delivered from the vengeance of the squaws.
’Twas the women, not the warriors, turned those stark enthusiasts pale,
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

Man’s timid heart is bursting with the things he must not say,
For the Woman that God gave him isn’t his to give away.
But when hunter meets with husband, each confirms the other’s tale,
The female of the species is more deadly than the male.

Man, a bear in most relations - worm and savage other wise,
Man propounds negotiations, Man accepts the compromise.
Very rarely will he squarely push the logic of a fact,
To its ultimate conclusion in unmitigated act.

Fear, or foolishness, impels him, ere he lays the wicked low,
To concede some form of trial even to his fiercest foe.
Mirth obscene diverts his anger - Doubt and Pity oft perplex
Him in dealing with an issue - to the scandal of The Sex!

But the Woman that God gave him, every fibre of her frame
Proves her launched for one sole issue, armed and engined for the same.
And to serve that single issue, lest the generations fail,
The female of the species is more deadly than the male.

She who faces torture for each life beneath her breast,
May not deal in doubt or pity - must not swerve for fact or jest.
These be purely male diversions - not in these her honour dwells.
She the Other Law we live by, is that Law and nothing else.

She can bring no more to living than the powers that made her great
As the Mother of the Infant and the Mistress of the Mate.
And when Babe and Man are lacking and she strides unclaimed to claim
Her right as femme (and baron), her equipment is the same.

She is wedded to convictions - in default of greater ties;
Her contentions are her children, Heaven help him who denies! -
He will meet no suave discussion, but the instant, white-hot, wild,
Wakened female of the species warring as for spouse and child.

Unprovoked and awful charge- even so the she-bear fights,
Speech that drips, corrodes and poisons - even so the cobra bites,
Scientific vivisection of one nerve till it is raw
And the victims writhe in anguish - like the Jesuit with the squaw!

So it comes that Man, the coward, when he gathers toconfer
With his fellow-braves in council, dare not leave a place for her
Where, at war with Life and Conscience, he uplifts his erring hands
To some God of Abstract Justice - which no woman understands.

And Man knows it! Knows, moreover, that the Woman that God gave him,
Must command but may not govern - shall enthrall but not enslave him.
And She knows, because She warns him, and her instincts never fail,
That the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

[NavyVet1959]

My wife likes to try to inundate my memory cells with 3rd or more level information -- stuff about friends & family of friends & family of friends & family of on and on... Hell, I don't even care about her friends and family. I *might* remember the names of her brothers and sisters... Maybe I'll even remember the names of their spouses and I might even remember whether they have kids... But, her friends (or her siblings' friends)? No way... And friends & family of those friends? Forget about it.

I would not be the least bit surprised to discover that she says 30+ words for every word I say in a "conversation'. Of course, what this really means is that all I hear is "buzz... buzz... buzz..." and every one in a while if I hear an obvious pause in the buzzing (where she's catching her breath), I just nod my head and grunt...

That language thing... Obviously a subversive plot by women... No way men would have invented it...

[A pause for the COZ]

I have been married for 27 years. No matter how you slice it. it is a tough row to hoe.

Why???
After all the books written and time spent fighting. Its seems hard but is actually pretty simple and reduces to two components.

The man wants to be respected.

The Woman wants to be needed.

If those two primes are active = happy life. If not = fight city.

I make it a priority every day to spend 20 minutes no matter what my day has been like and no matter how much I dont give a **** about it.
I sit and just listen to my wife. Dont try to solve any thing just listen to her. Its harder than you think but well worth the investment.

[smokeywolf]

Mrs. smokeywolf is logical and rational. If you asked her, "which would you rather have, new diamond earrings or a new pistol?" She'd take the pistol every time.

On occasion she'll tell me something that she knows I already know or repeat something that she said a few minutes earlier and if I tell her she already told me that, she'll say, "I know, I just wanted to talk. I'm just being a girl."

[Idaho45guy]

Was married for 20 years to a woman who constantly made me feel like a failure. No matter what I did, it wasn't good enough. She finally left me for an old boyfriend. I now have a younger, sweeter girlfriend who is incredulous that any woman would let me go.

[Markbo]

There is only 2 ways of dealing with women.
Neither of them work

I am with my 2nd. 14 years now. When we got together I was making good money and she wasnt. Niw for a lot of reasons I am making s**t for money and she is doing really well. Frankly I couldnt afford to live without her. But here in the last 5 years or so I not only cant do anything right, she is on me on a weekly basis about getting a better job and how disappointed she is in me. Never occures to her to support ad/or help me....just put me down.

She is older than me and close to retiring. She will get money from her Dad once her Mom passes away so she is set for life. Me, I am going to have to work till the day I die and that is either A. Not what she wants (me working) or B. Not near enough money. I cant win. I am lazy and no good. But ask anyone at work and I am the hardest working guy around...I very typically outwork younger guys.

It messes with my mind (depression and self worth) sometimes, but I cant throw her out. I wouldnt be able to pay the bills and taxes. I try very consciously to support her in all things - especially work stress. She doesnt treat me the same way. So I am as they say...in that rock and a hard place. Stuck.

[6bg6ga]

I'm wondering why you bothered to put something like this on the forum. This isn't Dear Abby.

[Hickory]

I'm wondering why you bothered to put something like this on the forum. This isn't Dear Abby.

Sometimes when you're down and out and just need to spill your guts you just know that your close "friends" will have no compassion or sympathy to your plight, a stranger, with no more information than you care to give them may care more then a close friend.

[dale2242]

Doesn`t this thread belong in the PIT?....dale

[JonB_in_Glencoe]

I'm wondering why you bothered to put something like this on the forum. This isn't Dear Abby.

Doesn`t this thread belong in the PIT?....dale

This is precisely what "Our Town" is for.

From the description header:
"This is the area for general forum Help, Info , Member Prayers and Board Updates. "Our Town" section for our member related issues "

[Piedmont]

Maybe you've been burned before and it's understandable, but it sure sounds like you have a bitter outlook and are pretty unhappy. Either through luck, hard work or both, a lot of people do have good, long term relationships, sorry it doesn't work that way for everybody, but don't lump everyone who has in some kind of unhappy mindset.

I am content with my life. Can you not see that you are using shaming language to keep me in line with societal norms? Why do you feel you need to do this with people who disagree with you or have made different choices in life?

The thing that bothers me most is we have been told for decades everyone is equal but there are two sets of rules and all I see is men being screwed in divorce court. Unfortunately even some men seem to think this is ok. I also see women get preferential treatment in hiring for jobs.