What women have taught me!

[.45Cole]

You live in the valley, not very good pickin's. You need to import one from the other side of the mountains. In all the time here I think I have ran across about 10 good ones, including friends relationships and singles I have ran across. They're out there, just not here.

[Moonie]

I seem to remember Dr Laura cheated on her husband. I'm also here to tell you that you can learn much from mothers, aunts, and other female relatives but I have 5 daughters. The oldest of which truly told me everything. To the fathers that think they want that from a daughter, you do not... I have learned from daughters just how mean women can be.

[Piedmont]

Taken as a whole, I hold women in high regard. If the OP latched on to one or more bad women that gave him such a warped view of women, then that is on him. He had some bad decisions and picked bad women. That is not the fault of women in general, but the fault of a man who can't tell the difference between a good woman and a bad woman.

So, again, it is the man's fault. But if we reverse it, the poor woman just kept getting all these loser men. Alcoholics, druggies, woman beaters, cheaters. That poor girl, put her on welfare and put that man in prison. I guess the original poster just needs to "man up" and be a better man.

This is the typical, pathetic, politically-correct, nonsense that is ruining the West.

[winchester85]

hard to know you are picking a "bad" one when everyone who meets her thinks she is amazing. the one before this one:

right up until she dumps you out of the blue 2 days before your birthday, also the day that while driving home you decided to ask her to marry you, then she asks someone to marry her a week later. that man killed himself 2 years later on his birthday, their 2nd anniversary. she had cheated on him with and is still with his best friend, and told him to be out of "her" house before she got home, also 2 days before his birthday.
some women are just plain evil. EVERYONE I knew thought she was the sweetest ever.

that was 12 years ago, and true. i am just lucky that i was not the one that married her.

[Ickisrulz]

But if we reverse it, the poor woman just kept getting all these loser men. Alcoholics, druggies, woman beaters, cheaters.

There are certainly women who pick the wrong kind of man again and again. The bad choices fall on them for sure. I doubt we'd agree if a lady came on here as said all men are trash.

[Butler Ford]

bf

[Ballistics in Scotland]

So, again, it is the man's fault. But if we reverse it, the poor woman just kept getting all these loser men. Alcoholics, druggies, woman beaters, cheaters. That poor girl, put her on welfare and put that man in prison. I guess the original poster just needs to "man up" and be a better man.

H'm well, I think it is a bit like cancer deaths around Chernobyl. You can look at the big picture and be sure that people are dying as a result of the radiation. But unless an individual was one of the working teams during the disaster, who displayed early and specific symptoms, you can't tell his fate from the sort of cancer that might have happened with no such factor.

I wouldn't draw any conclusions about the OP, except that he has had experiences he didn't like. But there are men who have a persistent tendency to abuse or let down women (Am I repeating myself there?), and even more puzzlingly, women who stagger from one of that kind to another. Sometimes it is an attraction to the dramatic, in the form of simmering near-violence and... er... assertiveness. But what simmers is liable to boil over someday. Other times it is the belief that an inadequate just needs to be mothered to set him straight. I don't know if it is better to have his birth mother still on the job too, or if she has quit on him.

[Blackwater]

Lots of wisdom and apt observations sprinkled in here, and on both sides of the man/woman issue, actually. But essentially, there's an old saying that kind'a puts it in its proper perspective: "It takes two to tango." Yep. That about sums it up. To have a bad relationship, and we've all probably had one or more, it takes a man who thinks he knows what he wants, but doesn't really, and a woman who'll pretend to be something she's really not. Add in the effect of our modern culture where folks EXPECT everything to work, even when there is absolutely NO reason to believe that, and .... you've got marriages and relationships made in hell, instead of Heaven. And few things are as common as this today.

Now understand, I've been married 47 years now, to the same willful woman, and it has NOT been easy for much of that time. I've had many opportunities to stray sexually, but so far at least, have not done so. And THAT has NOT been easy either, especially at times! But I stumbled my way through it, and I'm glad. Honestly, I didn't turn down those offers I've had because of her, I did it for ME! A man who doesn't have rules and principles that to him are inviolable, simply isn't fully a man. And a man who goes off chasing every cute skirt that shakes itself at him is being baited, and he can't not know that. He knows it, but finds it pleasing, so .... he goes ahead and chases it anyway until she catches him!

Our modern world sees sex as though it were some sort of irresistible force that dwarfs mankind's senses and sensibilities. And indeed, they often if not usually act like that were so. But it's not.

The simple truth about sex is that just about ANY woman who doesn't have scabs on her, can satisfy any rational man, sexually. Even those who are overweight. I once read a study where it was pretty conclusively shown that "fat people" have MORE sex than the more attractive and svelte types. Apparently, the svelte types spend more time preening than they do in doing stuff! Fat folks just don't care that much about their appearance, so ... they just do things while others are "working out" and doing "constructive" things.

Have you ever noticed how many of the most stable marriages are with a woman who's not exactly svelte? Did you ever consider why that might be so? Not every man is looking for a real beauty to wed. Many really DO look for a good woman and a good friend to couple up with. And those marriages tend to last. But BOTH of them have to be humble enough and giving enough and loving enough to make it work, no matter what any of the parties look like or are shaped like.

My own wife is very svelte for her 67 years, but in all honesty, sometimes I wish she'd gain 50 lbs. and lose some of the attitude she learned in her 30 years in the liberal NEA run teaching system! So that's my "honest confession" for the day.

But women and men DO indeed think and deal with things differently. This CAN be an asset to both, if they'll let it be, and utilize that for greater, deeper and better understanding of themselves, their union, and the problems that face them. But we usually don't do that, and instead, try to convince ourselves that they're wrong and we're right, whichever side you happen to be on. And sometimes, it's even correct, too! But that's when simple grace comes in - grace being an "unearned benefit." When one extends the grace to the other, where the decision won't kill either of you or destroy your finances or life, etc., it usually catches and throws them off guard. Saying, "OK, we'll do it your way" really isn't all that big a deal sometimes, and certainly not as crucial as we often make it out to be. When marriage turns into a contest of wills, BOTH parties lose, and BIG TIME!

Man is simply not complete without woman, and woman is not complete without man. But both are "finished" if and when they refuse to act like adult married folks, and try to imitate spoiled brats that only and always want to have THEIR way, and never consider the other's side and merits and needs. And it's really just that simple.

The Bible calls a virtuous woman a "pearl of great price," and it doesn't do so because they're EASY to find! They've NEVER been easy to find. But they ARE out there. Those who limit their choices to those who could pass for runway models are VERY much limiting their choices to the ones who are more heavily and intensely into preening and appearances, and NOT into self-development, wisdom and justice. THIS is the first limitation so many, many men place on their own selves, and then complain so loudly about when they don't get what they thought they were going to get.

Real love is not the heated passions of sex. That's lust. Real love is a much quieter, more sober, and reflective and actually more intense and gradual thing. But it's SO much more satisfying than simple lust! When the lust is consumated, you're "hungry" for something that tastes a little different next time. REAL love is satisfying through and through a man's or woman's soul. THIS is the real difference between lust and love, and it's a true tragedy that so many haven't been taught and seem to not even want to learn that difference.

Hurting is a bad thing, but it's SO common today. But the REASON we hurt is almost always because of flaws within our own selves, our assumptions and our disregard for realities we all know but don't want to consider. When a man's hot to trot (and women too), it's always been common throughout history to give in to the passions. But there's always a price extracted for that. Always.

First, it begins to diminish our own self respect and belief in ourselves and our judgment. Then, it expands into thinking "they're all like that," even when we know good and well they aren't. And from that, one can only get worse and worse, and this makes us more and more disgusted with the whole female race, and our obvious want and need of them. But if we've forgotten, or perhaps never really knew, the REASONS why women and men are so different, what else COULD happen but more of the same?

This can lock us into an infinitely repeated process of thinking we've found "the one," finding that it was no different than the last time, and then repeating same over and over until we die or one of them kills us!

Guys ..... we have a brain, and we were given it to USE. We have two heads and just enough to use one or the other, but not both at the same time. Those who use the one on their shoulders FIRST, almost always come out better in the long run than those who use the littler one. In a culture where the going ethic is "do it if it feels good" reigns, it's VERY easy to fall into that kind of behavior/thinking, but it's STILL the biggest mistake we can probably ever make. What people say and think, and what the common ethic of the day happens to be, does NOT change reality or rationality or judiciousness one whit! And yeah, it's hard to say "no" to that little head, but .... it's saved many a man from much, much horrible results, and it'll continue to do so as long as man and woman vie with each other and try to relate to each other.

It's a simple choice, and it's not easy, but it's always been worth making it intelligently, though it'll hurt for only a little while in denying one's self some "pleasures" that simply don't last. The pleasures and satisfactions of a good woman (none are perfect, any more than any man is) will and can and do last for a lifetime. That's the difference, and we have to pick one or the other. Good luck, guys. But it'll take more than luck to make a good choice. It'll sometimes take all the courage and determination and other assets you can bring to bear to not make another mistake. But it'll always be worth it. Take a look at those gals you've been overlooking. Maybe overlooking them hasn't been as "smart" as you thought?

[iomskp]

And all that being said the only way to keep one out of the white house is to go and vote, if you don't vote you will be stuck with some other persons choice.

[Char-Gar]

So, again, it is the man's fault. But if we reverse it, the poor woman just kept getting all these loser men. Alcoholics, druggies, woman beaters, cheaters. That poor girl, put her on welfare and put that man in prison. I guess the original poster just needs to "man up" and be a better man.

This is the typical, pathetic, politically-correct, nonsense that is ruining the West.

The OP need to own up to making bad choices in women for there are plenty of good ones out there. Some women also seem to pick their men from the looser tree. It is all about not blaming an entire gender for our bad choices. You think that is pathetic, politically correct nonsense....really? I just call it taking responsibility for our own decision and actions.

[ShooterAZ]

Char-Gar is right. There are plenty of good women out there, the one that I'm with now has a heart of gold. Unfortunately, there are some truly evil ones too. I broke an engagement with an evil woman, and her retaliation was to call the law three months after our break-up and falsely accuse me of pushing her down a flight of stairs. Her whole motivation was to get me convicted of domestic violence, so I wouldn't be able to own firearms. The judge was able to quickly see through her lies, and threw it all out. My attorney recommended that I sue her in return...I let it go. She truly was venom wearing denim.

[PS Paul]

Threads like this make me happy I've got the same wife for 25 years now. Guess I'm just lucky..

[Driver man]

[Riverpigusmc]

women have snakes in their heads

[shaner]

For some men, a woman is like a house. Renting makes sense.

Don Verna

winchester85, you just have to find the right one. The right one is the one who puts your happiness ahead of her own. Yeah, I know they're rare; like tryin' to find hen's teeth. But, they do exist. Mrs. smokeywolf is my third wife. If at first you don't succeed try try again.
I was in my 40s when we got together; in my 60s now. Like Bloodman14, we don't fight. Have so much in common it's near impossible to find anything to fight about.

Also, just as she puts my happiness ahead of her own, I put her happiness ahead of mine.

Reason the good ones are hard to find is, women embracing today's morals and values are worthless. You've got to find an old fashioned girl. They're more precious than a chest full of diamonds and just about as rare as an honest politician.

Smokey I'd right on. After two crappy ones and divorced. I found one I enjoyed being with everyday .I looked forward to seeing her. We went everywhere togather for 15 yrs . Then she left me and went to heaven. Thanks to cancer.

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[historicfirearms]

Women will cheat on you and take advantage of all that you have. Better off getting a hooker when that urge arises and live the good life like a man. Anybody that blames the OP for his problems is a fool. These women today are not worth a man's time. Hang in there buddy, the pain goes away with time and your life will be so much better without her.

[white eagle]

wow!

[shaner]

I have to agree they are different the ones I've met in the past few months. Well its hard to believe

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[richhodg66]

I have noticed a funny thing. The married men I know well, will confide in a quiet moment that if anything happened to their wife they would never get married again. Married guys on internet forums, on the other hand, tend to be like the guys on internet forums who bought a Taurus and feel they must defend their position.

There was certainly some truth in your post, but this jumped out at me. Been married for 28 years now, first marriage for both of us. The past few years, since I retired from the Army and kids left (one is back in with us for a while) have been the best ones of all, truly. If, God forbid, I ever wound up single again, I wouldn't get married either, but not because I am unhappy or don't like being married. I'm not 22 anymore, I'm 50, set in my ways and have really lost an ability to adapt to things which I think is typical of men (and probably women) and I just cannot imagine having to get used to all the little quirks of someone new who I had to have that intimate an existence with and I don't think I could reasonably expect someone else to either.

Maybe you've been burned before and it's understandable, but it sure sounds like you have a bitter outlook and are pretty unhappy. Either through luck, hard work or both, a lot of people do have good, long term relationships, sorry it doesn't work that way for everybody, but don't lump everyone who has in some kind of unhappy mindset.

I will say that Americans do tend to think that being married is a must and I wish they didn't. Some people just aren't cut out for it and if they'd admit it to themselves and we didn't have this social pressure on people to be married, there would be fewer divorces.

[lightload]

Char-Gar hit the nail on the head. My point or contribution is that men do their share of sorry things also.