She's in good spirits, me not so much, but I think I hide it pretty well (at least when I lie to myself about it I do). Five doctors offices, four clinics, and two hospitals can't even get it together on who has the hot-potato, and due to a hospital take over and then bankruptcy a few years ago they don't even show the Dr who did her original biopsy, much LESS the results. Seriously, "We don't show that Dr was ever here, nor that you were a patient..." Then a second call back "Ok, so people remember that Doctor, but we still don't show him, nor you." Now she and my Aunt are combing through bills and lab results from both of our cancer bouts trying to piece together records for the new new new Dr who is going to be seeing her. Otherwise they have to start from scratching including a new biopsy! The newest Doctor (oncologist) has her an initial appointment for this coming Tuesday, but without that paperwork it is literally going to be "referral to a cutter" time! If I had hair, I would have pulled it out. She tells me "It's ok, stay calm, we are taking care of it, I'm going to be fine." I'm grinding my teeth; flip-flopping between depression, rage, and panic attacks; and praying! All of this bearing in mind that I'm not allowed by my family to go to her appointments because my social anxiety and panic attacks make me a problem for everybody involved. Last time I went I had a panic attack so bad I was a few points of bp on top and bottom from being hospitalized, and my heart-rate was just shy of a hummingbirds. I had to be taken down to the ER; where they learned yet again that I am "drug resistant"; because I was on the verge of a panic induced heart attack.
So... That's where we are... She's sleeping now. Me? Not so much...
God Bless
Richard