Update
I installed a stronger main spring because it was quick and easy. Just put the main spring housing from my 45 on the 9mm.
It helped but did not completely fix the problem.
Finally received a new steel firing pin, installed it and got out to the range, primers look a lot better. They now have a firing pin dimple with a little cratering, but acceptable.
Thanks everyone for all the help. I had no idea where to start.
Carl