I got up this morning and checked the site, then got myself together, kissed my wife and daughter goodbye, and started the 2+ hour drive for Fort Smith Arkansas to see my friend. Probably for the last time.
I listened to loud music on the way (not my usual habit) and tried to think of other things as I drove. Tried not to think about facing a situation that I have never really faced before.
As I drove, I thought about this place, and the things that have happened since I first logged on here and saw the cat running with the bomb who posted cryptic messages to people that was just beyond where their experience lies.
I thought about the different personalities that we have here, and the motivations behind different members. I kept wondering "Why" Why are we here? Why does it matter? Why is cast boolits the way it is?
I found myself in Felix's town without coming to any conclusions. I phoned Nick and asked where to meet, and he told me to come by the house and come on in. A few minutes later I was walking into the living room and shaking hands with Nick. We swapped conversation about our jobs and caught up on what was happening in our separate worlds. I think we were both trying to keep from thinking about why we were both away from our jobs on a weekday.
We decided to go to the hospital where Felix is staying, so we got in his car and went on over, navigated the parking lot, climbed the concrete steps, down the hall, up the elevator, and soon I was walking through a door that had a strip of paper next to it that read "Robins". There I saw the man himself propped up in the hospital bed. He recognized me and smiled broadly.
I asked him how he was feeling, knowing the foolishness of that question. He just smiled in an understanding way and mumbled something, but he took my hand and told me how glad he was to see me.
From that point forward, I found myself on the brink of tears, but Mrs. Robbins was an absolute rock, and gave strength to us boys and we managed to keep it together.
I told Felix about all the people here who asked me to pass on their well wishes, and called their screen names. He recognized most of them.
I volunteered to read him the replies to his final thread, and I was asked to please do so. I'm afraid I was reading too slow because I was having to pause often to brush off the deep emotion that was being inflamed by each heartfelt post there.
Felix told me to give him the laptop so he could read it for himself. I set the computer in his lap and Nick and I stood on either side and helped him as best we could to navigate the thread. He read for a while and then wanted to see the pictures of the rifle I had done for him (the crazy Staff there wouldn't allow us to bring the gun up into his room, despite our implorations).
After that, we decided to go to lunch at the fishhouse. We traded stories of Felix and guns, and shooting, then we went back.
The next few hours were wonderful. Mrs. Robins got some sleep and so did Felix and us fellers talked about guns and shooting and boolits.
Felix woke up and started getting in on the conversation as best he could. He is very week, and barely able to talk, but we hung on every word, like drops of water from a spigot in the middle of the desert, that once fed an entire oasis but soon will cease to even drip.
Finally, it was time for me to go, and I shook Felix's hand for the last time. He charged me, he blessed me, then he said goodbye. Told me it's never easy to say goodbye. I mumbled something about never forgetting him, I shook his hand one more time....and I walked out of the room.
I spent more time with the family, we had some wonderful conversations, and then I got in my truck and headed for home.
I was thinking again on the way back about "Why".
Why are we here? Why does it matter? Why is cast boolits the way it is?
This is why:
Attachment 102097
It's not about faster boolits, better equipment, who's better than who, or what works and what doesn't.
It's about family. It's about people, and doing right by your fellow man, because even if he's a stranger, if he likes to do things on his own, shoot cast boolits, and love his country, and the people in it, he's not so strange after all.
Even to the very last conversation, Felix was trying to help me to be a better marksman and a better booliteer. I really don't think he cares as much about the boolits as he does about the guy holding the mold, and that's something we should all observe.
From Felix: God bless every one of you!