december it seems, lasts far longer than 31 days.
the house was as usual, cold when i got home tonight. feet were wet and cold, gloves and hands too. not a christmas decoration to be found. picked up a 12'ver when i went to town. i thought it would last tonight and tomorrow, now it does not look like it.
never been too good at meeting people, i guess i never learned the social skills that most do. it makes this time of year seem to last forever. i have a few friends that i know i can count on for anything. but this year i do not have a single invitation to go anywhere. i always play it off as though i dont care, but i always thought someone would ask or see through it. i guess that after 30 years or so or pretending that it doesnt matter, that i have gotten pretty good at it.
i say to myself year after year, that next year i will have a girlfriend. but it has now been about 19 years since i first starting telling myself that. maybe one of these days!
but, i am going to go float the river tomorrow. maybe i can limit out on ducks. hitchhiking back the 6 or so miles to the car might not work too well with the shotgun, but i can walk six miles.
not looking for sympathy here, just seems to help to write about it.