My Babby Girl Died today 9-19-09

[milsurp mike]

Still prayin for yall.Mike

[madman]

Well Friday will be the 6 month mark. a lot has happened since her passing. Mostly good things. I still can not go for long with out crying but it is getting a little better. The things that I used to think that were important have no meaning at all. Looking at her photos is the hardest. Missy's friends have all gone there own ways. Missy was the glue that held them all together. Life happens I guess. I would not trade any thing for the opportunity I had to be her father. Carolyn and I are still just going through the motions of life nothing can replace her. God Bless you all my Friends and Brothers

[outdoorfan]

Still droppin' prayers of comfort for your family.

[shdwlkr]

Madman
I can still remember being told that my first wife had been murdered and also finding my teenage daughter dead in her bed just a few years ago.
You never get totally over it, my first wife has been dead now for 30 years and there is still things that remind me of her. Our two kids don't have much to do with dad as I still feel they blame me some for their mother's death. Life happens and it isn't always good things.
My daughter was very ill and had been going down hill for over a year and for her it was a blessing.
I can understand where you and your wife are and all I can say you will get over it if you let it happen and then you have all the good memories to think about and that will get you through it all.

[HEAVYSHOT]

dear sir i to have lost my wife it will be three years in april . it is very hard . i lost her to cancer .it is hard every day but it will get a bet better i cant say i will ever forget her we done everything together we was marred 46 years..my prayers are with you.take care heavyshot.

[mroliver77]

Madman, it has been a little over 2 years I lost my 18 year old daughter. It sucks!! People tell me it gets better. The tears dont come as often now. The other night I was reading on here and fading off to sleep. I read a post from a cop that said "try pulling a dead kid out of a car and then having to inform the parents or something like that. I was instantly wide awake. The pain was very fresh. It was after midnight. My wife run off so I dont have her to share this with. I went to the barn and casted till 4 AM. Lubed and loaded till it was light out. Lucky I have a 9 year old that God gave us when I was 40. I get her 50% of the time. She needs me. Nights suck. I am headed to the barn to cast and lube for a bit. I am still praying for you.
Jay

[SCIBUL]

Madman. I am very sorry for you and your wife. Like I said in a precedent post, time just make the things more comfortables but can't make us forget. I think that the most important thing is to keep contact with your wife. Speak to her when you need and listen to her when she needs. It is a pain parents have to share to continue their life together. Stay strong and god bless you.

[GP100man]

Mike and Carolyn,

I just read your post and my heart goes out to you both. Please accept my condulences and prayes. It's been about 9 mths that my cousin and his wife lost their d yer old daughter in an accidental drowning. His wife hade went in the house to get her some juce and wasn't even gone but what seemed 5 minutes and when she came back outside she was gone. The whole neighborhood looked for her for over an hour and a half , they had alread called the police and firedepartment and rescue. They had tried to look in the in ground pool that the whole neighborhood used, but it had been scheduled to be clean for a few more weeks, so it was green and murcky nobody couldn't see anything. So they decided to drag the pool and that's where they found her, but it was too late, she was already gone. They and we are still greiving and probably always will but she is and will be always in our hearts and memories. And as long as you kept them their and keep the faith Heveanly Father will never give us no more than we can handle. I noticed that you lived in Salt Lake City, Utah and I was wandering if you and your family were LDS (Mormans), GP100man and I are, he is 7th year LDS and I converted 23 years ago. This year we will be married 25 years and it took us 13 &1/2 years to get pregant and have our 1st daughter, we were sealed in the Atlanta, GA Temple went she was 15 mths old. then when she was 2, I found out I was pregant again and this one was a girl too. Their now 11 & 1/2 and 9, I never let a morning go by that I don't kiss and hug them goodbye before they go to school, which is only about a mile & 1/2 from our house and I tell them "I love you and how was your day when they get off the bus."
and we say our prayers we hug them and tell them we love them and good night every night. So as I said earlier our prayers and thoughts are with you and your family. And may God bless and comfort you.

Mrs. GP100man

[AriM]

It was hard to make it through this entire thread with dry eyes. My condolences, prayers and heart go out to all of you that have lost. I can't imagine the pain of losing a child. I have no children of my own, so I am trying to find an appropriate prayer to say. I have lost quite a few family members (most of them actually, only my mother is left) and I have found that I can't make it through a day without thinking about them. What has helped me is to not dwell on the time I lost, or will never have again. Rather I have learned to think of the good things we shared and how blessed I have been to have the time I did with them. I think it's best not to forget them. Also I find great comfort in knowing, that god has a place for us all. Sinners and saints. I hope something I have shared helps all who have lost. Especially those who are still trying to make sense of it all. The grace of god will deliver us through all that is set before us. It's a small comfort, I know, but I hope it helps.

Blessing to all, and God's will to those that have lost.

[gray wolf]

I am so sorry for your loss, My prayers go out to you and the family. I hope it is a little comfort for you to know that so many fine people care about you and yours.
I am also sorry that I didn't see this before today.

Sam and Julie

[.357]

madman, i sit here crying and praying for you and yours. God takes care of his own.

[madman]

My life has been a list of 'Firsts" since My baby Died. The 1st missed Birthday, the First missed Christmas, The first of many holidays. Father's Day was a bad one. My Baby's friend's called and came over to wish me a happy Fathers day but it is just not the same. Time really does not really heal anything you just get tired of crying and try to have some time when things seam more normal.
I buried a friend yesterday and all of the memories came flooding back. Today I spent the morning setting up our Churches Girls camp. Missy loved Girls camp. In my journey through this mess so far I have learned that "Love is the only thing that heals all wounds" So with my love and many thanks to you all, May God bless you all with ENOUGH!.enough love, kindness, work, happiness health, money, lead, primers and powders, family time and enough of every thing you may need.

Thank you.

[shdwlkr]

Madman
Sunday was a bitter day for me as my one daughter who keeps in limited contact with dad wished me a happy father's day. Well all it did was remind me that my first was was murdered 30 years ago this year, 20 years ago my best friend in this life was buried on my birthday and 5 years ago both of my parents were gone. It was two years ago that I found my almost 14 year old daughter dead in her bed.
Yes a lot of things have changed but some things have not, I still miss all those who were close to me who are gone and will most likely until I leave this life. But I can't keep living in the past as there is nothing I can do to change it and remembering just brings back the tears and sad feelings. So I have decided to find some good things to think about.
My first wife and I built our home with the help of my dad and it was sold 2 years after she died stupid. It was in the hills that now look like a suburb so I am glad I left. My best friend and I roamed all over those hills as we knew all the farms and they are gone also. My parents left me with the desire to do something good before I die, still working on that one and also to stay free and always look for the good in people who work with their hands and the land. My daughter who died has taught me life isn't always fair but it is the best we have, so do as much as you can as long as you can so when you no longer can do that you have memories to keep you going.
May the good lord keep and watch over us all until it is our time to leave this life.

[kennisondan]

it sort of re defines everything for you, certain words that describe pain and emotions are much more clear and the subtleties pop out at you...
you are going through the hardest thing a parent can do..
my son was fourteen.
after years it got better but was really tough at first..
re define yourself as some of your identity has been shelved.. it is not lost.. it is just over... you have new identity and more identity.. that was important to me.
take time for you and yours ..
I greive all over for your tragic loss... it drives it home like a stake through my heart and the weight on my chest is back, the thinking is not clear... I do understand..
you will be OK.
dk

[crappiejig]

My condolences as well, Your family is in our prayers.

[riceone]

I'm 76 and my sister just older than me died when I was 3 and I still vividly remember the pain and sorrow my mama and daddy endured for years. I weep for you. riceone.

[geargnasher]

1st year's past, Madman, I'd like to hear from you, let us know how you're doin'.

Gear

[Milltown353]

Praying for you and your family.

[madman]

Thanks Gear for remembering. I was not sure I should post more. My Wife and I are doing ok. I have had the opportunity to work with a lot of people in the last 6 months that make me very thankful for a loving Father in Heaven. Missy's friends that have adopted Carolyn and I as their family are still visiting and sharing there love with us. The pain of loosing my baby girl never goes away there are just times when I can almost get through a day now with out crying. I know that being a Father is the greatest job a man can have. I got to bless a baby in church a couple of weeks ago. Her mom is one of Missy's friends. Her grandfather will not have anything to do with her or her Mom and Dad so I was given the honor and asked to be her Grandpa. What a joy this little girl has been to my Wife and I. God bless you all. Thank you for your love and support. Friends and Family truly are forever.

[geargnasher]

I know this isn't a "blog", but it is good to hear back, even better to hear you're focusing on the positive things life still offers. Love opens doors.

Gear