Reverse of Mrs. Recluse's question

[Reddot]

I just broke up with a guy who was a shooter. Prior to meeting him I didn't meet many qualified (read single, non-smoking, intelligent) men who were shooters or didn't object to the fact that I shoot. So the question to the women on this board is have you run into the same problem?

[sqlbullet]

I have my flame suit on for the following reasons: I am not a woman, but am responding. My response may draw the ire of a some as an attempt to proselyte. To a certain extent, I suppose I am proselyting.

None-the-less, you asked, and I know a place where you are likely to encounter such men. Try your nearest LDS (Mormon) Church. No, they aren't polygamists, despite what you have seen on TV. The media can't portray gun owners accurately, choosing instead to highlight the fringe. Why would their portrayal of Mormon's be any different?

The Bishop (as the leader of the congregation is known) can put you in touch with the 'Singles' group appropriate for your age. There you will have a decent shot at finding an intelligent, non-smoking male who enjoys shooting.

[runfiveswife]

i have not had that problem, i did not shoot much before i married runfiverun,(lamar) did not even hunt much, then he taught me alot of things that i didnt know, and now i go with him as much as possible, love the sport now. i hope you find someone that enjoys the same things as you do.

[Dennis Eugene]

Too Bad for you Girls but I'm already taken. ;>) Dennis

[1Shirt]

We need more lead shooting women, married, or unmarried in the field and on this forum IMNTBH opinion! Need to take wifes and in particular daughters to the range and hunting, and teach them to cast and load. They are part of the future of all shooting sports.
1Shirt!

[jdgabbard]

Another Man opinion.

I think like 1Shirt pointed out, I don't think its a lack of men with your "requirements", as much as it is available women in the sport. I personally would love to find a woman who enjoyed doing the things I enjoy doing. The problem with that is most women are just not "hard wired" for doing the type of things most men like to do. SO... It takes a LOT of searching to find the ones that are. Its just like when men and women go to college. The shear numbers of women that go for art and music degrees compared to men is amazingly high in numbers. Thats because most women are not interested in the things that men are, and vise versa.

And as for your requirements of the men, I myself can say it could be hard. As many shooters I know are also smokers. I myself am trying to quit, but working at a night club hinders my efforts. Intelligence is another issue, (read Oklahoma). We're 47th in the nation on education. Though, I do feel that sometimes "hardworking, fun loving, and moral bound good men" can make-up for the difference in intelligence.

Hope I didn't ruffle any feathers as I have a tendency to do.

[Reddot]

In retrospect I probably shouldn't have posted the question. I was feeling saddened that after a long time I met a man who shared my enjoyment of the outdoors and shooting. Unfortunately he was still getting over the death of his wife and wasn't really ready to date. Nice guys are hard to find, and nice guys who aren't taken aback by a woman who shoots are even harded to find. Oh well, onwards and upwards.

[carpetman]

Non Smoker--probably boring. I knew a non smoker that said he sat in the smoking section (when they had such) of airplanes as he could have interesting conversations there. He said the non smokers read and wouldn't talk.

[snaggdit]

I've been happily married for 9 years now (in 5 more days) so never checked it out but I wonder how Match dot com does in matching people based on hobbies and similar thinking? Don't know how you feel about online matchmaking but would probably open up your prospects some. Just a thought.

[Reddot]

What we need is an online dating forum for shooters and outdoor enthusiasts. Cast Boolits should consider this as a sideline.

[felix]

You will find shooters who happen to be in the upper echelons in terms of the arts and education are in the skeet, trap, and sporting clays arena. Join a club and see what's going on with the singles there. Most will be married as you would expect, but you never know who's loose and fancy free. Rifle/pistol shooters tend to be in the mechanical trades. ... felix

[mtnman31]

I shoot, don't smoke, and I like to think I am intelligent. I want to say I am a good looking fella as well, but you be the judge. Look up the photo under my profile (not the avatar)

[Springfield]

What you need to do is what most of us guys have had to do including myself. Find a nice, intelligent, non smoking, outdoor oriented male(for you, female for us) who is openminded and likes to try new things, and get him into the sport yourself. My wife had never shot before I met her. And never went camping, backpacking, water skiing. I even taught her to ride and then own her own motorcycle. Most guys like shooting after trying it, but it can be difficult to start on your own. It is the intelligent, open minded part that is difficult. After that it is all easy.

[Hang Fire]

LOL. As a male I have a problem with my wife about guns, she wants to buy too many. Yesterday I had to talk her out of buying a CZ-52 because it was over priced.

[HeavyMetal]

Reddot:
I won't try to defend the "ex" If he was getting over the loss of a spouse it was his call to make if he was ready to date or not. Sounds like he made the wrong call.

I have been there and done that, recently. I also have not re-entered the dating field as I'm not sure I want to deal with the "drama".

However I am keeping an open mind and while certainly ready to date again, just haven't found anyone my age ( 57) that isn't already attached.

Had a friend that went the match maker computer route. He was "disappointed" in the match's he got.

So I'll suggest to you exactly what I'm doing: hang tough, don't settle and keep an open mind.

[1Shirt]

Red Dot,
Have to disagree with some here regarding intellect, the arts, etc. I am a potter, a ceramic artist, a painter in water colors, love the theater, and have been a professional musician. I have not smoked in over 15 years. I am a college grad, and career military USMC & USAF. I have hunted in over 15 states, Alaska included, and also Africa. I don't think I am alone, but might be on over aged minority. Lots of real good folds on this and other shooting webs that might be of interest to you. Hang tough kid, there is a casting, shooting, hunting guy out there someplace just for you! Pick wisely!
1Shirt!

[No_1]

Miss Reddot,

Finding the perfect mate is everyone's dream but one that is rarely met. We tend to have very high standards for that "perfect one" that are hard to fill. I personally believe that finding the one who matches a large majority of the items on the "perfect mate list" is about the best one can hope to do. Face it, not everyone likes the exact same things, not even identical twins so how can we expect a total stranger to meet all the criteria?

On the bright side, you may have found your mate in the widower even though he is not ready to date. I suggest you try to become good friends with him. Meet for shooting and maybe lunch later. Go to gun shows together. Reload together. These are all things that "pals" do together, why should it be any different just because you are of the opposite sex and It should be just as much fun. Who knows, maybe it will blossom for the two of you. Worst thing that could happen is you gain a life long friend who likes to do the things you like to do.

In closing, keep your head up and smile because you are alive / doing the things that make you happy. One day you will look up and your prince charming will be standing right in front of you smiling back. When that day comes you will know your life is the perfect 10X!

Just remember this: Almost every successful relationship is built on strong foundation of friendship.


Take care my sister,

Robert

In retrospect I probably shouldn't have posted the question. I was feeling saddened that after a long time I met a man who shared my enjoyment of the outdoors and shooting. Unfortunately he was still getting over the death of his wife and wasn't really ready to date. Nice guys are hard to find, and nice guys who aren't taken aback by a woman who shoots are even harded to find. Oh well, onwards and upwards.

[docone31]

RedDot, I know of your issues.
I am on wife #6. She is the keeper. It took me long enough to be in the right place at the right time. Each one took a very large chunk.
I seriously wonder if you will find a match in what you are looking for. I have wondered that myself, looking at range people. I would not do well with any of them, even casually. I cannot tell you how fortunate I am to have met my wife. I mean, she is by my side day and night. She was not a shooter when we met, not at least in what I mean by shooter. She had purchased a pistol for self protection, gotten a permit, and when we met, I cleaned it for her.
My wife, has other interests aside from shooting. She makes time for me and my desires in shooting, and enjoys it when we go. She relies on me for information. She went from being able to pull the trigger with the barrel faceing the target, to grouping at 100yds.
She has watched me paper patch, reload of course, install reciever sights, build from scratch. She even puts up with me doing it in the living room!
I doubt, if anything ever happened to her, I would ever find someone that might begin to start to fill the shoes she wears.
It is hard to find someone. Easy to find the wrong one. I have lots of experience at that. Someone who will walk with you, being your conscience, seeing what you missed, and just plain calling you an ******* when you need it, that is another issue.
Being a Pastor, I do believe in prayer.
It took me a long time to try it for my wife.
It took time, but, if it had been easy, I would have turned away anyway.
Perhaps that will work for you.

[l-weinrich]

You just never know who might be a shooter, my brother is an engineer, I taught school, my brother in law is Dr Roy Spencer he has testified in congress about global warming, he did the original study for NASA and is convinced it is a natural occurence. My daughter is a doctor and she used to shoot with me on a pistol team while going to college, she likes to pull her trophies out when people start to bad mouth "people with guns" very entertaining! Keep looking you never know who might be a shooter.

[dakotashooter2]

I am on wife #6.

Some are slow learners.


I thought most men were intrigued by women who shoot!!!!! Maybe thats just rednecks. Hard to believe someone won't "give you a shot".


Actually I think "the perfect match' is why there is such a big problem in todays society. EVERYONE is looking for the perfect match. It's a myth. Doesn't exist. Many get close but thats not enough so they just keep moving on.