yip triplebeards you have it nailed...... and its hard thing to convince the end user about..... in reality a .12ga with #4 birdshot at 3 feet would be safer...but its LOUD..... the humble .223 with 55grn soft points works well too.
what my gut tells me I will end up with...is a dual loading........ something reasonably quiet and tame that will shoot bottom of beer can at 20 yards...anywhere in earhole will be fine...and a get out of jail load..full noise,no compromise.