Married three months...no more guns

[Jsm180]

He voted for Biden, he has no business owning a firearm.

[kbstenberg]

ALL people have to have their own likes and dislikes. If one part of a union needs to control. the other half of a union there can have no free will or mutual understanding in the union. And there will be problems in every decision and need on both sides of the union.
The ability to have a firearm is only a small part of a marriage. But if one side will not allow a firearm to be present, what else in their life together will the one half not allow to be there.

[Texas by God]

He voted for Biden, he has no business owning a firearm.

This.

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[Rapier]

Usually a person that gives the other ultimatums in a marriage was dishonest from the start, otherwise, they accepted the person as they were and are. I have a few ex in-laws, I can spot the fakers pretty quick. Unfortunately the kids, do not seem to have much forethought about such things.

[GhostHawk]

Don I watched this happen with my wife in reverse.

When I met her she had nothing, and was a died in the wool liberal.
But I married her, and a year later moved her into a small house (Paid for, no mortgage) Proceeded to work 40 hours a week at a job and another 40 hours a week on the house. Rewired from the meter up, replumbed from the water meter ball valve. Cindy helped buy the appliances, small bequest from her grandmother. Washer, dryer, few years later a new fridge.

With every step taken she had stuff to lose, and adjusted her thinking. Now she's just as die hard conservative as I am. And can't understand how her daughter can be so liberal.

IMO once you have stuff to lose, your attitudes change.

Be patient. You might want to help them pay their house off early.

Cindy is a 5' 2" soft sweat heart, but threaten one of her loved ones and she is a Momma Grizzly bear that is afraid of nothing.

[MrWolf]

He voted for Biden, he has no business owning a firearm.

He caved to the pressure or drank the kool-aid BEFORE he actually got married three months ago. Realize he will probably not change and go from there. Good luck.

[Sasquatch-1]

Sorry to hear this. I have the opposite problem. Four teenage grandkids who keep me in the poor house reloading AR ammo for them. Both daughters and their husbands have carry permits.

You should get them involved in muzzle loaders. They have to load their own ammo and will not go through near as much supplies.

As for the original post, he needs to find out what she is passionate about and tell her "NO MORE." For example...If she is into shoes, three pair max. 1 for dress, 1 for kicking around and maybe a pair for winter.

Tell him he needs to get the ring removed from his nose.

[dverna]

Thanks for the input guys.

I too am also worried about how the marriage will 'develop'. But in the end, it is his life and his choices.

They have made more "stupid decisions" than this one. Closed on a house that was over valued and did not appraise high enough so they had to make up the difference in cash to get the mortgage approved. When they showed me the house, I knew it was overpriced but they went ahead and bought it anyway.

My son already owned a home that was nearly paid for.

They have not decided if they want kids and got married anyway. I see that becoming an "issue" down the road.

Like the locals say....a pubic hair can pull a freight train...

[slownsteady22]

I hope things work out for your son, and if they end up having kids there is always hope for them.

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[sharps4590]

Force is like a spring, it often recoils.

[gwpercle]

Reminds me of a local ( Baton Rouge) boy's old hit song ... " Take Time To Know Her " . (Percy Sledge)

I learned early in my life that my Mom and Dad knew a lot more about life than I did and I can honestly say they never gave me any bad advice ... thank goodness I was smart enough to take their advice .

I feel sorry for your boy ... He's got a long row to hoe .
Gary

Come to think of it , one of the first things I did was take my new "girlfriend" ( second date) shooting ... We both had fun ! Now all she had to do was pass the "Momma" test ... Mom and Dad both loved her ...been most happily married 48 years now !
Gary

[Jeff Michel]

Just the start, unless there some ground rules are set. My wife of 32 years wouldn't even consider telling me what I can and cannot do, but to be fair she has just as much rein as I do. Maybe that's why we've never had a cross word. Good luck to them both.

[Finster101]

When I met my wife 30+ years ago I was very into motorcycles and guns. She had never ridden a bike and grew to love it almost as much as I did. She began going to the range with me some and eventually got her concealed permit. Even though she does not enjoy shooting that much, she goes often enough to stay quite proficient. I cannot imagine spending my life with someone that does not share my passions let alone forbidding me to enjoy them. My question would be what in the world brought them together to begin with?

[Daekar]

This is one that I absolutely cannot relate to. There are so many gating factors for me. I could never marry a woman who was against the right to self-defense. I could never marry a woman who was so naïve that she didn't understand the danger posed by the government and other large power structures. I could never marry a woman who didn't understand the truth of "when seconds count, the police are just minutes away."

She doesn't have to shoot, she doesn't have to hunt, she doesn't even have to like it. But she does have to accept that owning and being proficient to some degree with weapons is part of a mature approach to the reality of life and human nature. She can remain a child if she must, but she cannot insist that I do so as well.

[Soundguy]

Ouch.. I couldn't marry an anti gun person. A gun neutral? sure.. then try to sway her.. but anti gun.. naw...

[HWooldridge]

My wife is a lifelong Dem and said the same thing to me when we were dating - I simply told her guns are part of my life and she would have to get used to them if she wanted to be with me. We will celebrate 43 years of marriage in a couple of weeks and have 4 grown sons who all know how to shoot - and the grandkids are learning as they grow older. My wife also learned to use a gun and has killed several varmints over the years.

Like others have said, this is one of those things that needs to be settled early on in the relationship.

[lightman]

My son married three months ago. He called me tonight and his liberal wife will not tolerate guns in the house.

Until my son voted for Biden, I gave him guns regularly for Christmas. When he turned 21, I told him he could have any pistol I owned and he selected a .45 Kimber.

So, in a few weeks, I will have a few more toys that I do not need. I have been downsizing for years and the last thing I need is more stuff to sell. All the guns are nice. At least they are not going to a pawn shop.

Not sure they will ever visit. I have guns all over the house.

If I have grandkids by them, I will never be able to teach them to shoot or hunt. I will be the last “gun nut” in the family.

This is sad on so many fronts! I suppose there is always hope that their kids (your Grandchildren) will enjoy being with you and keep an open mind about these things.

This would have been a deal breaker for me. I hope they find some middle ground and have a happy marriage.

[atr]

I married a liberal from Berkeley and we have stayed together now 50 years even though we have disagreements about certain social issues including the ownership and use of firearms, and the second amendment. We have both made adjustments in our thinking which I think is what it takes.
This issues your daughter-in-law raises should be discussed as a family. Both sides of the issue should at least respect the other's position. If the marriage is important to your son and daughter in law then they will make the adjustments necessary.
Best to them both.
atr

[memtb]

I am very sorry to hear of this! Sadly, this is the new generation! Obviously, your son was raised around firearms and is comfortable with them. Their huge differences will eventually cause a split…..hopefully no children will be involved when it happens!

If grandchildren do come along…..meet them in a park! Do not sell off everything……at least hold on until the divorce!

I guess that I’m a “soulless individual”……my children will not determine my life choices. I have a daughter that has tried to play that game…..it ain’t working!

My brother is a huge Harley fan…..owned 3 or more at various times. He dated a girl, they made a lot of road trips on the bike. They got married, within one week he comes home off of night shift, she meets him at the door explaining the bikes would be sold so the money could go to other things! She was escorted to the door that morning!End of story and marriage! memtb

[RogerDat]

Thanks for the input guys.

I too am also worried about how the marriage will 'develop'. But in the end, it is his life and his choices.

They have made more "stupid decisions" than this one. Closed on a house that was over valued and did not appraise high enough so they had to make up the difference in cash to get the mortgage approved. When they showed me the house, I knew it was overpriced but they went ahead and bought it anyway.

My son already owned a home that was nearly paid for.

They have not decided if they want kids and got married anyway. I see that becoming an "issue" down the road.

Like the locals say....a pubic hair can pull a freight train...

People mostly do what they want to do. If one partner decides to go along with a "decision" by the other such as no guns in the house then it usually means they were ok with it. Maybe not their own first choice or what they would do on their own but a trade-off they were willing to make.

I thought the idea of encouraging a training course was a good one. The simple argument is guns can be dangerous and learning how to deal with them safely from a qualified instructor rather from TV and movies has value. With at least a small potential that attitude will change if they find themselves in a group of similar people to themselves who seem to like and enjoy guns.

One has to make decisions about such things. We made sure when young grandkids were over there were no firearms accessible. Put a lock on our bedroom door since there was always a pistol there. If you want your grandkids to come over you may have to not have guns all over but confined to a space away from little hands and enquiring minds.

You can teach your grandkids a lot without teaching them a darn thing about firearms. I have one who really has no interest. Another that is seeking advice on gun safes vs. home security containers for his small but growing collection. I would think what you can teach about non-firearm related things would make stowing firearms while grandkids visit or locking your carry firearm in the vehicle when visiting them worthwhile. But it is a personal decision, an important one that I wish you well on.

I will say it is possibly of benefit and a lot easier to meet your son part way on this issue than it is to undraw a line in the sand you draw today. I have friends and family that don't shoot, they seem like good people. We just share things other than shooting, or reloading in common so we do and discuss other things when we get together. Works out fine.