I understand you're joking about the arson, I unfortunately worked with a less than bright guy who thought it was a great idea to get his new home.
Hauled all his important papers to the office "to keep the kids out of them". Scheduled veterinary visits for all 9 pets on the same day. 9 kids = 9 pets. His, hers and theirs. Kids that is, not pets.
And the dishwasher had an electrical short and burned the house to the ground.
He was absolutely outraged when the insurance company wouldn't write him a check for the entire loss.
The checks would go to the contractor who would rebuild his existing house on it's original foundation.
Cost of contents would be paid as he purchased them, subject to depreciation.
And his dream house he had picked out before the fire was sold before he could try and sue the insurance company.
Aw, schucks.