Things you wish your wife didn’t know about you

[Bmi48219]

Sometimes it’s better if your wife doesn’t know how talented you really are.

We’ve been married 35 (or so) years. Between residences, vacation homes, and investments / rentals we’ve owned at least 16 homes / condos.
Nine years ago I repainted our home inside and out. Last week my wife (who obviously has way too much time on her hands) decided it needed to be repainted. Now I painted the aforementioned 16 homes (some more than once) and estimated each one averaged 30 gallons. Heck, the manager at Sherwin-Williams sends me a Christmas card and a Honeybaked Ham certificate every year!
I knew it would only be delaying the inevitable to drag my heels this time. Started spackling, sanding and masking (I recently noticed things don’t focus well enough to cut around trim any longer) Monday. Got done with my chores (including several trips to pick up 11 paint samples) yesterday around two and primed the first 1/4 of the walls. Today another coat of primer and cut in the top coat. This project is going to take a while, partly because approaching 70, I’m not as limber as before and partly because I’m way too anal about doing a near perfect job.
Years ago a co-worker told me where I went wrong. He would always claim to be an expert at whatever his wife wanted done, then purposely mess it up so bad she never asked again. Dishwashing, wall paper, paint, carpentry, window washing, every project turned into a disaster as soon as he started.
I now know that was a truly wise man.

[cwtebay]

My grandfather told me on my wedding day, volunteer to wash dishes every night. And make sure to break at least one thing every time you wash.
Unfortunately, I think my wife also got that advice and has adhered more closely to it than I.

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[poppy42]

I hate to paint!!!! I always procrastinate when the wife wants me to paint some room. When she was pregnant with my youngest son, she wanted the nursery painted yellow. He was fourteen before I finished it! He’s 37 now and she quit asking me to paint a long time ago! Lol

[unclemikeinct]

Ah yep. Some of best n worst things a single man can hear before the wedding. Actually, while courting. First dinner at my Mom's house I take the sweet girl down to my basement workshop. Just to show her a few things. "Ohh, You're Handy ! " Dam, I have not stopped doing stuff since. 34 years young fellows choose wisely. I hate to paint, mow & vacuum. RATS, I'm a manservant. uncle mike Oh Yeah, & removing wallpaper. Rotten Job I've done in 3 whole houses before painting. no glory in all that effort.

[Iron369]

Fortunately for them, most of the 20 somethings don’t have hardly enough skills to tie their own shoes

[unclemikeinct]

Fortunately for them, most of the 20 somethings don’t have hardly enough skills to tie their own shoes

True Dat Bro

[GregLaROCHE]

Our system for painting is that I use the roller and my wife does the cutting it. She enjoys the detail work. I enjoy getting the job done. There are many other chores I prefer over painting.

[Thumbcocker]

I am lucky. No one in Mrs.Thumbcocker's family did anything maintenance wise. If I change out a light switch she looks at me like the natives in a 1950's B movie look at the explorer who makes fire with a Zippo.

[contender1]

My wife & I have been together for 29 years. And we enjoy a great relationship. And yes,, I'm her handyman, her Mr. Fix-it, her go-to guy for many, many projects.
We built an addition,, and I did all the interior work, and some of the initial building work. I've remodeled (2) bathrooms, (2) bedrooms, painted, installed new windows, pulled out carpet & installed hardwood flooring, & gosh knows how many projects over the last (almost) 3 decades. From small stuff, to big ones. Cooking, cleaning, washing dishes, clothes etc.

And it makes me happy to see her happy. When she tells other people how much I do, she does so with pride & happiness. She appreciates all I do for us.

And,, she does things for me. While they may not be as laborious physically, it's invaluable to me. She also cooks, cleans, washes clothes & dishes. She does much of our paperwork & taxes etc. She has also made our house into a home.

To do things to deceive her would be an insult to my manhood. I'd never intentionally break things or damage stuff, or put things off etc just to get out of doing things for OUR home.

We both work, we both contribute to our bills. and we both have our hobbies & pleasures.

BTW; My wife was not in any way a "gun girl" when we met. Now,, she's not only a shooter,, she's a firearm instructor, was one of the first NRA Women On Target instructors who built her own program for teaching ladies. She was selected long ago as one of the top 10 female firearm instructors in the Country. She was selected as the State Volunteer of the year several years ago & the NRA gave her a gun. She encourages my gun hobby, doesn't complain about my hunting, or things I enjoy. She wasn't a wild game eater before we met,, and now prefers it over store bought processed foods.

And each year,, she has a bigger project for our home for me to do. This summer,, a kitchen remodel. And yes,, I'm doing it.

Intentionally sabotage things just to get out of doing stuff for her OR us,,,?? Not me.

[Bmi48219]

And it makes me happy to see her happy. When she tells other people how much I do, she does so with pride & happiness.

Years ago we were dining with another couple. Great people, just not do-it-yourselfers. Nothing wrong with that. I had just finished installing a paver driveway and courtyard which in their eyes may as well have been the Appian Way.
All of the sudden my wife shocked me with a telling comment about my abilities. She bragged: “He can fold a fitted sheet”.
I guess sometimes it’s the little things that get noticed.

[Kraschenbirn]

I spent 20+ years running a renovation/restoration business and still maintain a fairly complete workshop for my hobbies so my wife knows I can repair/rebuild just about anything that might break/malfunction around here so long as it doesn't involve microprocessors and circuit boards. Fortunately, a couple of regulars of her weekly luncheon group are retired computer geeks...of the rare variety with four-year degrees who actually understand hard-wire circuitry.

Bill

[Kosh75287]

I can't list stuff LIKE THAT on HERE!

[lavenatti]

After 32 years of marriage if there was one thing I wish my wife didn't know about me it would be my address.

[Froogal]

The extent of my painting anymore is done with a rattle can, freshening up my steel targets so I can see how badly I miss the bullseye.

[MT Gianni]

That I will make an effort to fix whatever she breaks has to be near the top.

[popper]

Do a wallpaper job. She will leave or never ask you to do anything handy again.

[CastingFool]

I'm getting ready to install hardwood flooring on our master bedroom, after patching and painting the walls, texturing the ceiling, then I'll be mounting g a 55" tv on the wall. Then, I should get a break, as it is the last room in a 2200 sq ft home, to be redone.

[Scrounge]

My grandfather told me on my wedding day, volunteer to wash dishes every night. And make sure to break at least one thing every time you wash.
Unfortunately, I think my wife also got that advice and has adhered more closely to it than I.

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We've been in this house a bit over 25 years. I put in a new dish washer about every 3 years. I may be crazy, but I ain't stupid. These days, most of the time I'm the one doing dishes anyway.

[Scrounge]

I'm getting ready to install hardwood flooring on our master bedroom, after patching and painting the walls, texturing the ceiling, then I'll be mounting g a 55" tv on the wall. Then, I should get a break, as it is the last room in a 2200 sq ft home, to be redone.

Nope. Once you finish that room, it will be time to start redecorating all over again.

[Gator 45/70]

Mine would volunteer me to fix stuff for her friends, Chapped my you know what after 10 years of this we almost separated.
I no longer get farmed out like a mule on his last legs. The history before her shall remain unspoken