Originally Posted by
fcvan
Shades of "All my exes live in Texas . . ." First Wife worked when we started, stayed home when the babies came, and I will will giver credit for being good with money. That lady could stretch a dollar into a ten spot. While the youngun's were young, we sold our first house, bought a 1/2 acre of bare land worth twice, built a house with a good contractor, sold that when the market was hot, but had already bought land, 3 1/2 acres before I transferred. When the second house sold, built the third house when contractors were starving.
When 3 acres with a fixer hit the market as an estate sale, we picked it up very cheap and had it paid off when we sold the third house, with money in the bank. I had the deed at 30. Each house with property had chickens, rabbits, ducks, geese, 2 lambs that didn't make it, and a goat that was just a pet. I am proud to say my girls did not eat store bought meat, eggs, or veggies for over 3 years.
I had worked a ton of overtime that helped immensely in our escapades. I quit working OT once the deed was in our safe. About a year after we moved on the smaller property, she decided I was not necessarily needed any more. She kept the paid for house, I kept all of my retirement. Before the divorce was final, I purchased another house, a shack really, while I didn't have a judgement against me for spousal and child support, and the deed with my name on it. Soon to be ex suggested I do so while my credit report reflected such things. I'll give her that much, she wasn't the <language> from <language> most folks endured.
Spousal and child support was usual in a way, child was, spousal was not half my check. She had by this time gotten a part time job, and our agreement was that her support ends in 2 years, or until she gains full time employment, which she did a few months before the 2 years was up. Things were cordial but my visitation was minimal and both the girls wanted to see their Dad more often.
I met a lady with 2 girls of her own, the girls were like sister in pretty much every was, except they didn't bicker. Well there were occasional flatulence wars, but those came with giggles. I dated that lady for a year and then married. Then the <language> from <language> reared her ugly head. Made our lives hell, dragged me into court for everything, harassed me through the mail and at work. 4 years of that, second wife says 'I love you, but I am not putting my girls through this.' She broke 3 hearts. She still checks up on me, visits her grand kids weekly from all 4 girls.
A year after the second divorce, I met my Angel of the last 23 years. We got full custody of the girls 2 months later, and I started receiving child support, which was promptly deposited in their accounts for college. My new daughter was almost 3, and she was so excited to have big sisters. We started having some fun times.
My Wife was given the option to work where she enjoyed what she did, or stay at home. She said the family needed her at home. She has taken jobs from time to time, advanced quickly in healthcare, banking and finance, assistant manager for a non-profit, but always left after a while because 'the family needs me at home.' I went back to working overtime to support the family.
Between the girls, all with college degrees, are married mommies, all in all, I have 7 grand kids, 3 properties in 3 states, 2 with houses, and I am retired. FIL lives with us, MIL does not (they've been divorced 30 years) but visits and stays with us when my Wife brings her home after chemo. My Wife takes her Mom to all of her cancer treatment appointments.
Am I bragging or blessed? I'm going to go with blessed for being obedient. There have been rough patches that only faith has brought us through. That is the whole point of the long rant. I had a wild child that left and her life was a mess. OK, I sent her to her mother's due to her 'attitude' and how purposefully destructive to the family. She was gone to the East Coast for 2 years, but returned. Some years later, I think 5, we started talking again. She asked me 'how do you do it, Dad?' I told her 'you know my foundation is in faith, I can't do this by myself.' She didn't tell me she started having someone come by to help her find answers for about 6 months. She didn't tell me for 6 months she was co-teaching Sunday School as a sign language interpreter and instructor.
All of my girls learned to sign as a means to speak to their children even before they can speak. 'Hungry? Milk or juice? Diaper?' It is amazing how little a child cries when they can tell you what they need. I guess you can say they are all bilingual. Youngest grand daughter is learning Spanish from her Daddy as he is fluent. Man, he speaks better Spanish dialect than most Hispanic folks, but he is not, as he grew up in El Paso, TX. Youngest daughter just told me the other day, she starts working on her Master's Degree in Forensic Psychology next March.
Having to attend Church on the internet, or watch reruns, is different but essential. 'Wherever 2 or more are gathered' according to my oldest Grand Daughter is 'Jesus is in my heart, so that makes 2.' Oh the wisdom of a child of 4, she is 10 now.
Faith, brothers and sisters of the 'Silver Stream.' I don't care what, who, or how you believe. So long as your beliefs bring you joy to you and those around you, by golly live it beyond just saying the words.
I worked in a maximum security prison for most of my 31 year career. Inmates would always ask 'why are you so happy all the time?' My response was generally 'I have a belief in something.' Not allowed to openly 'share' but it was not frowned upon if you were asked, first. I can't count how many returned to their belief in 'something' and changed their lives, even knowing life without wasn't going to change for them. Well, one guy, he got his case overturned due to facts of the law, not his actual involvement in a crime.
Some folks may never see the 'book' directly, but can see the book in the life you live, and want that fulfillment. No book was ever sold without a catchy cover, but if the content doesn't match the cover, it isn't worth reading. Be the book worth reading.
My apologies to the board, my thanks to the moderators for correcting my language which should have read "That kind of person you always hear about regarding former spouses. Again, thanks for the correction, I sincerely apologize, it won't happen again.