Is this a normal adult life?

[Strtspdlx]

in all honesty I look back on the last 10 years of my life and think to myself "youre such a child". Ill be 30 this year, I just bought my first house, I got married 3 years ago this October and I'm broke enough that I wish I could find a night job. My home purchase was the first time living on my own, so I'm not sure what being an actual adult really entails. Aside from get up and go to work and make sure that when the bills are due they're paid in full. My family isn't exactly the most...responsible group of people, aside from my mother. I'm not trying to complain I'm just curious if this is normal. The pressure of making sure everything taken care of, coupled with my hobbies and the lack of money for them is extremely stressful. I've always been the type of person to just make it work and if you tell me I cant do something, I do it just to be spiteful. overall I just wanted to question as well as vent my thoughts/frustrations. like I said, I haven't had the best example set for me in some instances. So needless to say I'm getting overwhelmed. I will have the American dream though, I just may ask for some experienced advice. I hope this isn't too in depth for the boards, but everyone here seems to be a friendly and helpful bunch. Thanks for reading

[Soundguy]

I'd say you fall somewhere smack in the middle of average.

Some leave home earlier, some dont get married, some dont buy houses, etc, etc. There's probably way more people that feel less than financially happy than not, etc.

If your reasonably healthy, I'd thank the big guy and keep on trucking.

[richhodg66]

Take care of your family and obligations first. The rest falls into place eventually, I find it easier with a few years on me than when I was younger.I know some don't and that's OK, but in my opinion a guy really needs to take care of his spiritual health, may mean something different to you than me, but I have to wonder about people who deny that there Is a higher power.

[00buck]

Like John Wayne said
A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do

[MUSTANG]

You are doing fine from your description. Keep your priorities on God, country and family and all will turn out well. Be responsible and do not live on credit and life will become better as time passes. A home on credit is OK as long as it and the taxes, insurance and upkeep are kept well within your budget. Look to expand your skills; said another way - you want over time to have the ability to do more than one job; and multiple options and even developing multiple streams of income will make life easier as you become a more seasoned citizen.

I like the way that Dave Ramsey (a radio talk show "Life/Financial Advisor") describes the philosophy, even though I had adapted it long before I ever heard of him or listened to some of his programs:


“If you will live like no one else, later you can live like no one else.”

― Dave Ramsey

[fatelk]

The pressure of making sure everything taken care of, coupled with my hobbies and the lack of money for them is extremely stressful.

Yep, pretty normal.

[dragon813gt]

Sounds pretty normal. Focus on paying off the house and being debt free. Most don't worry about this and carry a debt load way to late into their life.

[shoot-n-lead]

We bought our first house 3 months before we got married at 24...my fiancee/now wife lived in it until we were married. I have never regretted buying that house...but...chances are good that your first house, will not be your last...we are in our 4th house, now, and will be married 34yrs, this coming August.

Most of the things that you mention are just the responsibilities of being an adult.

As for the "American dream"...son, you are living the American dream, right now.

Any thing worth having, is worth working hard for..faith, family, necessities and, yeah...hobbies.

[jonp]

I bought my first house at 32 and you sound pretty normal to me. Put a little away at a time until you have 6mths to a yrs worth of expenses, this will take some time, and then pay as much on the house as you can every month. Dave Ramsey is your friend.

I've kept a year or more of expenses in a savings account my entire adult life and have foregone the whole brand new truck, bass boat, 70in big screen thing. It is a great load off your mind. My wife quit her job a few months ago and instead of a state of panic on how we were going to make ends meet she puttered around the house getting rid of the stress of that job and has just decided to go back to work. No problems.

I'll tell you one thing, if money is tight and you have to save several months to get that gun you want you will appreciate it all the more.

[Skunk1]

Most are in the same boat. Moved out with my best friend, married years later, had the kids, house and all. Never asked anyone for help, and there were plenty of times we needed it. Both of us had to cash in retirements to make ends meet and sometimes times are still tough but I've accumulated plenty to help us out in a time of need.

Hang in there, work and rewards will come.

[6bg6ga]

Sounds like your livin the dream just like the rest of us. As mentioned Keep God high on the list, pay your bills on time, and remember to make time for your family.

[MarkP]

I set up cascading savings accounts from my checking account; I had my paycheck deposited into multiple accounts with one being a mortgage account.

If you get paid every two weeks divide your mortgage amount by 2 and have that amount added into your mortgage account. You will end with an extra payment in your account each year. (26 pay periods) use that account to pay your mortgage.

Like johp be content with an older car until you can truly afford it. At age 27 I changed my habits dramatically and lived by this simple rule; when considering buying something that loses value, if you can not pay cash for it you cannot afford it.

[Strtspdlx]

My faith is definitely not shown as much as others, however I do still have it. Without it right now id be cold and a few feet under the dirt. I appreciate the encouragement and insight. just trying to be sure I'm not doing something wrong, you all should know about how my generation is all about instant gratification. Thank you

[Skinny]

There is no normal or abnormal life. There is just life.

do the best you can. Take all the others advice in this thread. You will do ok.

[Strtspdlx]

Trust me id love a new vehicle, my wife has one. But I'm a technician, it goes against my nature to have something that doesn't need enough work to buy a good vehicle.

[Love Life]

You sound normal to me!

The only thing I would change is I would minimize my hobbies until I could afford them without any stress. Hobbies come far behind any other priority. Far behind.

Enjoy it! Being a responsible adult is boring, and lame, and...really good. Keep on doing what you're doing.

[jmort]

^^^ this makes sense

[Hogdaddy]

A lot of good advice givin I doubt I could add much, keep the dream alive ; )
H/D

[Thumbcocker]

One definition of being a man is putting the needs of your family above your own. Many spend decades in the get up go to work come home repeat cycle. Looking at all the things you don't have or can't do will cripple you mentally and emotionally. Save something every paycheck. do fun things with your wife on the weekends. It takes a bit of imagination but there are lots of low cost activities. go on line and look at state parks in your area. Take your Mrs. and a lunch and spend a day at a State park. In the summer there are festivals and other community based things that cost little or nothing. Mrs. Thumbcocker and I go to re-enactment based events at State parks where admission is free and you can browse booths and check out folks in period costume who LOVE to tell you about their character and era. Yard sales and thrift shops can be fun and you can find good books for a few dollars.
As far as your hobby I started with a .357 revolver I got from an insurance settlement, a 2 cavity mold and a Lee kake cutter sizer kit where you drove the boolit through one at a time with a mallet. I used a Coleman stove until I got flush and bought a Lee 4# electric pot. That gun and rig taught me a lot about reloading and how to shoot. I would have killed for something like this site. A pot, a Lee mold, a Lee loader, pound of powder, 100 primers and some liquid lube and you are a reloader.

Don't compare what you have to what folks who have been into this hobby longer than you have been alive have. Yes we have a lot of stuff but it was accumulated over decades often a little at a time. All of us have had times when a pound of powder was a frivolous luxury in the world of young working folks. Keep your eye on the long term goal, save a little something regularly, take care of your family, enjoy the time you have with your wife before kids, and find little ways to have fun and enjoy moments. A good day with someone you love can carry you through a lot of days that suck.


We are pulling for you.

[Finster101]

I don't wanna' grow up I'm a Toys R us Kid. I try to stay that was as much as I can but life does sometimes get in the way. Congrats on the good things you've done. It will make things easier as you get older as long as you don't always have to have the latest and greatest of everything.