Hey everyone,
As a new member here, I am in awe of all that this simple boolit forum has to offer. This is by far, the best forum i have ever decided to be apart of. The people here are just amazing.
This thread is something I wanted to start with the hopes of having some good discussions, and sharing our own personal experiences of trials and tribulations and how we have managed to conquer them against all the odds and forces working against us.
My personal situation is of drug and alcohol addiction. I had struggled for years growing up getting picked on and being overweight and never really fitting in, etc, etc... Once I first found drugs and alcohol I had found peace at last. That is where it all started for me. Some 4-5 years later, I find myself drinking a bottle of vodka a day and doing any drugs I could get my hands on - just to be at peace with myself. I could never look myself in the mirror without getting violently angry. this went on for a few years... I ended up getting sick n tired of being sick n tired and checked myself into rehab. I get out 30 days later and within 48 hours had relapsed going at it harder than ever. Once getting out, my GF of 3 years broke up with me. All of my happiness was riding on her shoulders. I crumbled... a few months later I got myself together enough to check myself in yet again for another 30 days. Well, I was doing it for all of the wrong reasons (please my family, friends, and try to get my EX back). I got out and relapsed AGAIN the same day. I went on living that way for two long years. Being in my deepest, darkest place I have ever been to. While there, I found myself often asking why I was still alive though all of my driving blacked out and high as a kite.... Hunting and shooting with a bottle of booze and a pipe by my side... Never thinking for a minute i was doing anything wrong (I know - INSANE). Long story short, I had a god awakening about 7 months ago, and checked myself back into the same treatment facility I had visited 2 times before. This time was different. I had no real home, no money, no car, and no dignity. Today, I am a free, clear headed man. And I owe that all to MY god as I understand him. With the help of really good people in my life - I can say that I am a different person today.
I struggle to find peace in any organized religion or religious books - but right now I am OK with that. Because what I am doing is what is working for me.
If nobody else wants to share anything that is quite alright - Just had a thought maybe this could become a nice thread to hang out and feel humbled.
Thanks for anyone who cared to listen to my rant/story and I hope I am not overstepping my welcome here.
Aaron