Why do they do it????

Saw in the paper, yes I still get the paper, that a guy I know passed away in Nov.
Knew him just to say HI!! and talk a little.
Nice, quiet, low key guy.
Sent out an email asking about what happened to him.
Found out he shot himself.
I was kind of shocked.
He was a cop.
LT in charge of public relations dept.
His first marriage ended when his wife, and child, got caught in a house fire.
Talked to him a little while later, and he seem good.
Saw him a few years later, and he seems happy.
Found a new someone, and was going to get married.
Later heard he had a Son, and was promoted in his position.
I was glad for him.
Then saw the obit.
It sounded like everything was going good with him.
Married, baby Son, good job.
Just can't understand what happened.
Just hope he found some peace.

Cops see and handle some things/situations that the average person can't and so that day after day. eventually some just crack

Everyone has demons. Some are stronger than others. We never know the mind of another. I've lost friends the same way. Sad

The only way to really understand mental illness is to have personal experience. It's not something I would wish for.

I'll leave it at that.

I have been in law enforcement for over 30 years this year and the anti police atmosphere has never been stronger since the 60s and 70s.
I have been lucky to not have seen the really ugly things that others have seen.
PTSD doesn’t just affect the military and it is very possible that the gentleman was suffering with that combined with depression.
2 of my best friends were Vietnam veterans with PTSD and they put up a very good front but it was still there. Both were instructors in the trade school I attended.
I took a class on dealing with people having episodes with PTSD and it is a terrible thing if untreated.

I had a close friend who shot himself in the head, yeah he had issues, his mother died when he was in middle school, he father wasn't around much, he was lacking direction in life. feeling like he didn't fit in, I think that was a big part of it. but when it comes right down to it, who knows? one of the very saddest experiences in my life.
shame, guilt, embarrassment can be factors. some people off themselves over debt. survivor guilt is very real thing.
I got a call a few days ago from the mother of the young girl who was killed in the accident I was involved in about 16 months ago. the idiot that caused the wreck got out of his car and kind of wandered away from the scene and I tried to get the 22 yr old young lady out of the car but the car exploded in a fireball after I got the door open. anyway this extremely distraught mother was telling me her life is no longer worth living and she thinks about killing herself and maybe her daughters death is her fault because she told her daughter its ok to go visit a friend rather than come home. the death of her daughter has effected her so completely that she has been out of work on disability taking all kinds of psychiatric drugs for more than a year now.
there is all kinds of reasons for suicide, you can judge another and guess and comment but until your actually in a situation yourself no one else can completely know what its like.

Robin Williams comes to mind. Some of the "happiest" people are the most troubled.

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Depression can and will be hid very well, only the person dealing with its deamond's can ask for help, cops, military, EMTs, and others see the trash and garbage that is civilization, they deal with it every day, I have lost many a friend to this calamity, a few I knew were struggling and I tried to get help for them, only they can reach out, depression and pain are the main killers..... I was luck and received help when I asked for it..... Too many others not so fortunate...

Sometimes pain caused by physical, mental, emotional issues (together or separate) can be too much for a person to cope with. Courage or toughness may not be enough to overcome the pain. And the All Mighty does not always open a window after all the doors have been closed. Everybody has limits.

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Originally Posted by Rp-

Robin Williams comes to mind. Some of the "happiest" people are the most troubled.

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https://news.yahoo.com/lewy-body-dem...174049948.html

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Originally Posted by deltaenterprizes

I have been in law enforcement for over 30 years this year and the anti police atmosphere has never been stronger since the 60s and 70s.
I have been lucky to not have seen the really ugly things that others have seen.
PTSD doesn’t just affect the military and it is very possible that the gentleman was suffering with that combined with depression.
2 of my best friends were Vietnam veterans with PTSD and they put up a very good front but it was still there. Both were instructors in the trade school I attended.
I took a class on dealing with people having episodes with PTSD and it is a terrible thing if untreated.

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Per my LE friends the current political climate is a large part of it. Same for the feeling of futility. The system is releasing very very bad people quicker than the LE gets their paperwork completed. They tend to feel that the work they do is useless and they are out of place and hated in the current society. That seems to be the same for the military members.

https://www.wlox.com/2022/01/08/suic...t-deaths-2021/

Everyone handles horror differently.
I won't even empathy share some of the first hand experience and the accompanying points of interest.

The human condition is a weird thing .
I did fire service for 10 years, going in I asked "what do I do if I get on a scene and I can't do it . I mean DBs aren't on my play list" . The chief said "if you can't you can't . There's 53 FF and or EMTs , 9 doctors , 22 nurses , and a dozen or so other professionals for you to talk it out with . I'd bet that any 30 or so any day would bump duties for you if you have a problem after the fact" .
He was right , not in my case but a close friend talked to me often about 2 events that were hard for him to digest.
2 of my kids were in an accident 3 SO , 2 FF and an RN/EMT debriefed 6 times over 12 days . My son was driving and an EMT/FF , my X1 was an EMT/FF and my daughter was pinned under a roll over . It was hard on those guys knowing the kid under the truck . Fortunately I didn't have to find out how to greive a child .

I did figure out how to manage DBs my Mom tries to understand how I stayed "cold" while we made the calls when my Dad passed . Oddly enough there's a total disconnect there which probably points to something broken .

My boys saw combat , one is stowed away , squared up and on his to E9 Sgt . The other said to me "Dad if you hadn't given me the tools you gave me and shown me , all of us really , the love and strength you did as we grew up , that there was always something to live for no matter how dark it is or alone we feel , I wouldn't be here . You want anything from the fridge ?" Turns out that at a point when he called me "just because" it was a bad , bad day . I had said something like we all have to deal with that kind of stuff you know what it takes . Go get a steak knock one off and watch some Trek it'll pass . We talked a few more minutes then he said he was good . He wasn't but he wasn't on the edge anymore.

Unfortunately not everyone has a support group and some of them it just doesn't matter . Probably I was just lucky to have access to the people I had .

I have a granddaughter that if she makes 21 not in jail or deceased will probably be a cast iron concrete pilar of strength but at 15 is a train wreck of seething anger over stuff she should barely remember and hates herself and everyone that got her this far . I hope she will get the help she needs or someone will find the right switch to flip .

I know jackdiddlydoo about psychology. I do know about inflicted trauma . I believe if a person has the right thing or idea to hang on to they can survive anything. But too many don't have that anchor.

I'm 66, and finally getting to know of more folks who die from other causes than suicide. For the biggest part of my life, suicide was #1.
I may have been unluckier than some in this regard, but probably not by much. Four of these folks were very close family and friends, and another half dozen were more casual friends, co-workers, and such.

There are a lot of deaths that aren't often published as suicides, and kind of go under the radar. This is a horrific tragedy, and like many of our current societal problems, not likely to get better soon. More people than ever are drug addicted, over medicated, no direction, no God, no job, -- self loving and self loathing... and now add thousands of transexuals who ten years from now will realize that they have turned themselves into some kind of ??? I don't think that suicide rates are likely to go down. jd

My best friend in life, at almost 80-years young, took his own life by gunshot after falling (a broken hip we think), would not go to a hospital, COPD "so bad" he could not walk 5-feet without suffocating as a "fish out of water", and incontinence (at the very end), in which he could not accept his dignity taken from him. It was PERSONAL, FINAL, and survivor guilt hurt me in my heart of hearts. If I did not know better, I would say my friend was the brother of farmbif's friend. Portions of the detail of my friend's life are eerily similar to farmbif's friend.

Depression combined with alcohol can be deadly. I had an old friend with four kids. She jumped out of a window. She may have been depressed, but I’m sure she had been drinking too.

The saying tears of a clown can be so true some of the so called happy people use that to cover depression so sad. I have a friend who is bi polar he has talked about ending his life a few times.

Depression, drugs, alcohol, and PTSD are all killers, just by themselves. When you combine one or more, they're even more deadly. I suffer from depression and PTSD. Fortunately, I am NOT self-medicating and I have access to mental health resources - that I have taken advantage of. I am fortunate to have family and friends who care, are aware of the signs, and know what action needs to be taken. Not everyone is as fortunate.

I'm more than a little convinced that there is a genetic component. A predisposition to depression. I won't relate personal stories, but I've seen enough of the heartbreak to be sure.

I will also say that when/if my disabilities get so bad that I can't live outside a "nursing home, I will look for surcease. I've seen too closely what a horror-show those places are, and have no desire to live like that. This is a lot different from the cases of suicide stemming from unendurable depression.

"Manly" solidarity, suppression of thoughts and emotions, loneliness, mental/physical health deterioration, the indignities of age, or just getting tired, are some of the characteristics leading to taking the "Ernest Hemmingway" out of this life.

Why do they do it?

Having lost my oldest daughter to suicide, I can assure anyone that this question is the most haunting of all. The many many questions left behind is tortious! Questions questions questions, all with no answers! Her birthday is coming up the 6th, we all remember her, questions come to our minds fresh. Why why?
Life is worth living! Lean on God and live it is my hope for all!

Sometimes folks have just had enough.

The long and the short of it is have no hope, that things will get any better.

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Originally Posted by Thundarstick

Having lost my oldest daughter to suicide...

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I'm sorry to hear that. My heart hurts for you.

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Suicide is a horrific assault upon the folks who love you the most. Sometimes it even destroys those people.

Every young person who avoids pulling the trigger, will almost certainly live to find happiness and wonder how they ever could have considered such a thing.

Suicide is a selfish slap in the face to anyone who has ever loved or helped you, and to anyone who you might someday have loved and helped.

jd

I saw a sign in an AA meeting hall once.

'If anyone had done to me what I've done to myself, I'd kill them.'

I think that pretty much explains it.

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Originally Posted by hoodat

Suicide is a horrific assault upon the folks who love you the most. Sometimes it even destroys those people.

Every young person who avoids pulling the trigger, will almost certainly live to find happiness and wonder how they ever could have considered such a thing.

Suicide is a selfish slap in the face to anyone who has ever loved or helped you, and to anyone who you might someday have loved and helped.

jd

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For some, especially teenagers and young adults, it's the ultimate act of aggression. So said a psychologist I once lived with for a time.

Mass shootings ending in death of the shooter seem to fit this mould.

She believed that such people were actually suffering from some defect in their biochemistry that medication could control.