Eyerish coffee

[Four Fingers of Death]

I'm of 100% pure Irish descent so I am authorised to tell Irish jokes.

Before I tell you the joke, just bear this in mind:

The Americans tell Polish jokes
The Brits and Kiwis tell Aussie jokes.
The Aussies tell Irish jokes

What sort of jokes do the Irish tell?

Kerryman jokes! Guess where my ansestors come from? County Kerry! I dip out all round. If I had of married a Polish girl, my kids would have in deep trouble!

Finally the joke:

An Irishwoman of advanced age visited her physician to ask His help In reviving her Husband's libido.
"What about trying ******?" asks the doctor.
"Not a chance", she said. "He won't even take an aspirin".
"Not a problem", replied the doctor. "Give him an Irish ******. Drop it into his coffee. He won't even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went".
It wasn't a week later that she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to progress.
The poor dear exclaimed, "Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah!
T'was horrid. Just terrible, doctor!".
"Really? What happened" asked the doctor?
"Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost immediate! He jumped hisself straight up, with a twinkle in his eye, and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent the cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there, making wild, mad, passionate love to me on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!"
"Why so terrible?" asked the doctor, "Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn't good"?
"Oh, no, no, no, doctor, the sex was fine indeed!
'Twas the best sex I've had in 25 years! But sure as I'm sittin' here, I'll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again."

[Jetwrench]

Thanks now I have to clean my computer screen[smilie=1: JETWRENCH

[Bigjohn]

Mick
I have just finished cleaning my computor after that one, it pays not to drink coffee :coffee: while reading jokes off the screen.

Your skill is improving, good one. :drinks:

John.

[Buckshot]

............Two old Irish buddies, Sean and Paddie were leaning elbows on the bar and remembering the auld days. Paddie was gowing a bit maudlin as the afternoon wore on. With a tear in his eye Paddie says to Sean, "Sean my old friend, when I pass through the pearly gates, I was wondering if I could ask a favor of ya?"

Sean replies, "Why for certain Paddie, and I'd be mighty proud to do it too. What was it you'd be a'wanting?"

Paddie says, " I was a wonderin' if you'd be gracious enough to pour out a bottle of this here Glenlivitt all over me grave as sort of a send-off?"

Well Sean straighten's up and claps Paddie on the shoulder. Why sure I would, and you know I'll do it. But I have one little question to ask first.

Paddie waves his had expansively to go ahead.

Sean asks, "Would ya be mindin' if it was to pass through me kidney's first?"

................Buckshot