PDA

View Full Version : My Babby Girl Died today 9-19-09



madman
09-19-2009, 06:55 PM
I lost My Daughter today. We just got home we have been dealing with Police and people all day my brain is like mush. I cant explain what or why I am posting this here It wont take away the pain or feelings of .............

Hug your kids, call them if they have grown and moved out. Do not waist another minute. DO IT NOW you may never get another chance to.[smilie=b:

Marlinreloader
09-19-2009, 07:04 PM
All I can say is, I am so Sorry. If there is anything I could do to help you and your family please PM me.

My families prayers are with you. God Bless.

Marlinreloader

nvbirdman
09-19-2009, 07:11 PM
I would also like to express my sorrow for you.
Time will blunt the pain, but nothing will take it away completely.
I would write more but the letters on my keyboard are getting blurred.

AJ Peacock
09-19-2009, 07:12 PM
Condolensces and prayers heading your way.

God Bless,
AJ & Family

Throckmorton
09-19-2009, 07:18 PM
Except to extend my deepest condolences and Prayers, I am at a loss for words.
Your extended family here is thee for you,no matter what you may need.

45nut
09-19-2009, 07:19 PM
Condolences and prayers heading your way from me also.

dragonrider
09-19-2009, 07:44 PM
Madman, my deepest condolences to you and family.

nekshot
09-19-2009, 08:30 PM
Madman, I know exactly what you are going through, trust me , time is a healer. You are in our prayers.

gon2shoot
09-19-2009, 08:37 PM
Very sorry to hear that, words cannot express the feelings.

My prayers for you and your family.

krag35
09-19-2009, 08:41 PM
You and yours are in our prayers.

rugerman1
09-19-2009, 08:42 PM
Our deepest condolences to you.

SierraWhiskeyMC
09-19-2009, 09:23 PM
Truly a parents' worst nightmare. :(

I am so very sorry for your tragic loss.

Please accept my most heartfelt condolences to you and your family.
Steve

wiljen
09-19-2009, 09:35 PM
My sympathy to you and yours and my hope that no-one else here ever knows your grief.

gotta go hug my daughter now.

Johnch
09-19-2009, 10:10 PM
Condolences are the best I can give
But in my heart I know that there is a empty hole in your heart that words can't fill

Hope you and your's get throught it in one piece

John

standles
09-19-2009, 10:31 PM
I grieve for your loss. The pain will subside and the grief will end. The best of her will live on in your memories. God grants strength to those that need. He never allows a trial without a path out.

I will remember you in my prayers and ask for God's comfort for you and your family.

God Bless.

Steven

part_timer
09-19-2009, 10:32 PM
We will keep you in our prayers

exile
09-19-2009, 10:32 PM
Our prayers are with you and your family.

exile

crabo
09-19-2009, 10:34 PM
I will pray for you also.

Murphy
09-19-2009, 10:47 PM
My deepest condolence, you and your family will be in my prayers.

Murphy

wallenba
09-19-2009, 10:56 PM
Losing a child is the worst. I never got to know my son, he never came home from the hospital. After 37 years, that day is still remembered but the pain has eased and comfort will come to you as well. God bless all of you.

257 Shooter
09-19-2009, 11:01 PM
My heart goes out to you. I will keep you in my prayers and hug my son before we go to bed.

Artful
09-19-2009, 11:05 PM
Sorry for your loss, may you remember the good times for all time.

runfiveswife
09-19-2009, 11:30 PM
from our family to yours our deepest condolinces, we will keep you in our prayers

lead-1
09-19-2009, 11:36 PM
Sorry for your loss and may God be with you in your time of grieving and healing.

<><

Marine Sgt 2111
09-19-2009, 11:41 PM
My sincerest condolences at this time of your deepest loss. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Dean D.
09-20-2009, 12:13 AM
Words are hollow at a time like this but please accept my most heartfelt condolences. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Suo Gan
09-20-2009, 12:27 AM
After I read your post I looked into my sons eyes and gave him a hug. I won't take your advice lightly.

725
09-20-2009, 01:03 AM
I am so sorry for you and yours. How horrible. You will be in my prayers. God bless.

largom
09-20-2009, 07:48 AM
Lost a baby daughter myself 40 years ago. Time will heal the pain but the memory will last forever. My prayers are with you.
Larry

Bret4207
09-20-2009, 08:54 AM
My sincerest condolences. There are no words I can offer beyond letting you know you will be in our thoughts and prayers. I watched my parents go through this, I'm so sorry for you.

Muddy Creek Sam
09-20-2009, 10:38 AM
madman,

You have our deepest heartfelt condolences and prayers. Katie and I lost our only Daughter in 2002. It was the hardest time of our lives and the pain doesn't go away, but it does ease. Remember the joy you shared with her and the good times. Our daughter was poisoned by a gang banger the she had taken off with. I agree with your advice to hold your children and let them know how much you love them.

If you need someone to talk with, feel free to contact me.

Sam and Katie OneShot

SharpsShooter
09-20-2009, 01:51 PM
Prayers sent.


SS

CALL911
09-20-2009, 02:07 PM
You and your family are in my prayers my friend !!!!

dsmjon
09-20-2009, 02:33 PM
I can only echo the above. God is with you, take comfort in knowing she is by his side now. I know not what else to say aside from we will be praying for your healing and comfort.

Mark Daiute
09-20-2009, 04:02 PM
Please, If you want to talk to someone that's been there, I'm just a PM away. In the meantime you are in my thoughts and prayers constantly.

Mark

GP100man
09-20-2009, 04:09 PM
prayers for peace & comfort going your way!!!

waksupi
09-20-2009, 04:48 PM
My deepest sympathy. I regret your loss.

scb
09-20-2009, 06:33 PM
Very sorry for your loss.

odinohi
09-20-2009, 06:37 PM
So sorry for you and your family!

Charlie Sometimes
09-20-2009, 07:23 PM
Our thoughts and prayers are with you and yours.
I would not know how to deal with that.

.357
09-20-2009, 08:06 PM
Prayers are on their way.

PatMarlin
09-20-2009, 09:30 PM
Very, very sorry to here of you loss.

WILCO
09-20-2009, 09:49 PM
Madman,

Others have said all the words I'd hope to say and I can add nothing more to this thread except this: Stay strong and keep moving forward. You are in my prayers.

odis
09-20-2009, 09:58 PM
My God I'm so sorry for you and yours.

45caster
09-20-2009, 10:39 PM
I am so sorry for your loss you and your family will be in my prayers

Firebricker
09-20-2009, 10:40 PM
Madman, Your family is in my prayers. FB

2ndAmendmentNut
09-20-2009, 10:41 PM
Prayers are on the way.

mtgrs737
09-20-2009, 11:27 PM
Losing a child has always been my biggest fear. My prayers for you and yours. Trust is Jesus, he heals all wounds.

truckmsl
09-21-2009, 12:33 AM
Madman,
Prayers on the way. Hope you find peace.

Russel Nash
09-21-2009, 12:36 AM
:(:sad::sad::sad::sad:

SCIBUL
09-21-2009, 01:30 AM
Condolences and familly prayers heading your way from me also.
I lost a son years ago. Pain is always here but it is a little more easy with time.
God bless

carpetman
09-21-2009, 01:41 AM
sorry for your loss. Remember her seems the best way to deal with it.

Ricochet
09-21-2009, 07:43 AM
I'm so sorry, Madman! God be with you and your family. I'm praying for you now.

Idaho_Elk_Huntr
09-21-2009, 08:19 AM
prayers sent! God bless!!

Slingshot
09-21-2009, 09:50 AM
Condolences on your loss of your baby girl. I will light a candle at mass for her.

Jeff / Slingshot

MT Gianni
09-21-2009, 09:50 AM
You have my deepest sympathy.

swheeler
09-21-2009, 10:44 AM
God bless.

Dogg
09-21-2009, 01:01 PM
I am so very sorry to hear this. Life is so precious and sometimes we just take it for granted. I know there is nothing that can be said to heal the hurt but my thoughts and prayer are with you and your family.

Dogg

Sonoma2k2
09-21-2009, 01:20 PM
Sorry for your loss. God will be your healer and take care of her for all eternity. My heart goes out to your family, if you need anything don't hesitate to ask your brothers here.

twotrees
09-21-2009, 03:48 PM
A Parent should never have to bury one of his children, I have had that sad duty 10 years ago.

Yes it still hurts, but I like to think of Phillip, talking the leg off all the Confedrate Generals, he can find way up yonder.

Our Prayers are with you and your family,

TwoTrees and RedFoxy

357maximum
09-21-2009, 04:21 PM
at a loss for words but my condolences and prayers have been sent two directions

madman
09-21-2009, 10:10 PM
My Brother in laws sister is in the hospital in Idaho her kidneys and lungs have stoped and she is on full life support. She is 60 years old the Dr.s have discovered lesions in her brain. They decide to take here off life support late last night. She has not passed yet and is hanging on.

It seems as thought we have this dark cloud hanging over us now.

Thank you all for your thoughts. The planing of the funeral for Melissa is the worst thing that I have ever had to do in my life. For what it is worth to all of my Family here God Bless and keep you all safe and secure.


With all our love. Madman.

I just wanted to add something today the Obit came out and it is at www.legacy.com or on the Deseret news paper in Salt Lake City.

Muddy Creek Sam
09-21-2009, 10:20 PM
Madman,

Prayers continue, Hang in there and know we are here if you are in need.

Sam and Katie OneShot

R.C. Hatter
09-22-2009, 01:32 AM
My deepest sympathy for you and your family for your loss. I cannot imagine anything worse for a parent. May the Lord aid and comfort you in this dark time and may you
know he will not put on you more than you can bear. Sincerely, R.C. Hatter

rmb721
09-22-2009, 07:37 AM
My deepest condolences to you and your family.

southpaw
09-22-2009, 07:51 AM
Wish I could do more than offer my deepest condolences and heed your advise. Gave the wife and kid a hug and kiss before I left for work this mornin and you bet they are getting more when I get home.

Stay strong

Jerry Jr

Ivantherussian03
09-22-2009, 10:53 AM
I cant imagine a more difficult task than burying ones children--so sorry for your loss.

rockrat
09-22-2009, 01:28 PM
Just saw your post, Madman. My prayers and heart go out to you. My Mother died when I was 18, and saw what it did to my Grandparents. No parent should have to go thru that.

STP22
09-22-2009, 01:43 PM
Prayers sent Madman....

nueces44
09-22-2009, 05:57 PM
Madman

No words can express the pain and broken heart you now feel.

Just remember you are in our hearts, your sorrow is ours, with friends you are not alone.

Trust in God and seek his love

Remember the good times with her, If you have someone in your heart they are still alive and with you

Circuit Rider
09-23-2009, 01:22 AM
Madman, our prayers go out to you and your family. Circuit Rider

Lon371
09-23-2009, 04:30 AM
Madman, sorry to hear what you are going thru. I have 3 children and 4 grandbabies. Can only imagine how hard it must be. Our prayers go out to your family's for your losses.

Lonny

JesterGrin_1
09-23-2009, 10:34 AM
My thoughts and prayers go out to you for your loss.

And I thought this might help others to find the correct information. http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/deseretnews/obituary.aspx?page=lifestory&pid=133272767

Ithaca1911
09-23-2009, 01:35 PM
your family is in our prayers, stay strong, and trust God. I don't even want to imagine what you must be going through.

Bigjohn
09-23-2009, 07:22 PM
Madman, my thoughts & prayers for you and your family.

Time & friends will help ease the pain of your loss and we here share your grief.

No_1
09-23-2009, 09:03 PM
Madman,

I have watched this thread since it began and apologize for not speaking sooner. Every time I try to respond, the words do not come. I type then delete, type then delete. I try to find words that could comfort you but my efforts leave nothing but tears in my eyes. I am sorry for your loss and pray that God helps you and yours find peace.

Robert

danski26
09-24-2009, 02:22 AM
Madman,

I wish I could ease your pain. I have a 2 year old daughter and cannot imagine your pain. If I can help decipher the legal or cop talk in any way PM me and I will give you my phone #.

Semper Fi "always faithfull"

insanelupus
09-24-2009, 12:15 PM
madman,

My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family. Your initial post really touched me and I can't help but think about it when I look at my toddler daughter and I try to always give her and the wife an extra hug and kiss. I pray the peace of the Lord are with you and your family through this trying time.

azcoyhunter
09-24-2009, 12:35 PM
Sir,

I am sorry, it was posted earlier and it is true, time will take the edge off, and after a while you will get over the shock, and start to accept and go on with life.
I speak from experience, it is not easy, but what I do it try to honor their memory every day "tears"

First Big Foot
09-24-2009, 12:46 PM
It's a sad read for my first time to this site.

I wish you well, though, and faith in your God will help. Just ask him.

Dunno where you are, but would sit with you if I could.

Another old man with lost children.

madman
09-24-2009, 06:10 PM
God Bless you all. We put her body to rest today. It was a wonderful service. Home Depot let the entire store come and Northrop Grumman let an entire division in Salt Lake come to say good by and support us people came form every where. My wives highest supervisor even flew in from California to be with Carolyn.. The young people that knew and loved my Baby are the most kind and loving kids. Huh kids all over 25. They are amazing. They wanted to do her make up and hair yesterday. Carolyn and I said that we would honoured if they would. What a sight to be seen all of these women in one place with one goal. I now have half a dozen new Daughters that I did now ever know about. My Brother in laws sister passed last night they are heading out to take care of her on Saturday.

As always thank you four thoughts and prayers. now comes the hardest part of all a life with out our Missy.

dsmjon
09-24-2009, 08:27 PM
God be with you and your famiilies, may His Grace comfort yall in this time of need. Beyond that, I truely am at a loss of words. If there is anything a half-broken hillbilly from North Carolina can do for you, please don't hesitate to PM me. What is mine is yours.

You and Carolyn just remember that the Lord will never give you more than you can handle, as absurd as that may sound right now. I pray His strength, comfort, and love guide your family through these coming days, weeks, and years. Rest now, knowing your baby is on the Right side of our Father.

If you need some random person to yell, scream, cuss, beatup, rant upon, or share words with, I offer you all the time I have. Yall are still in our prayers brother,

Jon

DLCTEX
09-25-2009, 10:49 PM
Madman, I just saw your post and am deeply saddened. I too lost a child, mine at 6 months of age. I look forward to seeing him again someday, Heaven will be sweeter with him there. I also very nearly lost another son last month in a terrible wreck, it's still hard to look at him without tearing up, so painful the loss would have been. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Carolyn. DALE

Rockydog
09-26-2009, 10:23 PM
Madman, My condolences on the loss of your daughter. I have a daughter the same age. No matter how old they are they are always "daddy's little girl". I can't fathom your grief. My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours. Rockydog

mroliver77
09-27-2009, 10:26 AM
Madman,
I lost an 18 YO daughter 2 years ago last Jan. I didnt tell anybody here till recently. I know how it feels and cannot say a thing that helps except that I am here if you ever need to talk. 24/7 You and yours in my prayers.
Jay

Jaybird62
09-28-2009, 11:55 AM
... for those times when the house is too quiet and you are alone with your thoughts, it is my prayer that you will find peace and comfort in the fact that so many people who have not had the pleasure of meeting your family have come togehter to show their love. Although my life experiences can not compare to your suffering, my heart aches for your loss.

Prayers,

Jay

madman
09-28-2009, 05:18 PM
It just amazes me that there are so many kind and loving people here. I wish we could all meet and get to know each other face to face. maybe some day. I hope that all of your and your Families are all well and safe. For those whom have suffered a loss and those of us who will have to go through this in the future again, my prayers and love go out to you all. I pray for my Friends and Family daily so your are all in my heart and prayers daily. May God bless and watch over you.

Lucky Joe
09-28-2009, 09:09 PM
Condolences and prayers heading your way from me also.

IllinoisCoyoteHunter
09-29-2009, 08:08 PM
I am very sorry to hear about your loss. My prayers are with you and your family. God bless.

madman
10-03-2009, 06:26 PM
It has been 2 weeks now and the days just run into one another. We received flowers form the wonderful people here how can I ever thank you for your love and concern. There are friends and then there are FRIENDS! I count you all as FRIENDS!!!. God bless you.

odinohi
10-04-2009, 11:06 AM
Keep your chin up madman. We're all still thinking of you and your family. Take care, OD

madman
10-19-2009, 05:05 PM
It has been 1 month today since we lost our Melissa. I have made my self busy by planting grass seed and watering around her resting place. It was looking shabby there for awhile but now it looks much better. The grass was turning yellow where it was dug up and placed back down. I wish I could hold her again. I wish I could make things all right for every one but I can't.

So many thoughts and prayers going and coming. Thank you all. I don't know how to just go about life with out her.

Uncle R.
10-19-2009, 06:52 PM
Madman:
I pray that the Almighty will ease your pain. Hold tight to the love and memories of the good times and the good things you shared.
Uncle R.

.357
10-19-2009, 11:52 PM
one day at a time, one day at a time.

geargnasher
10-23-2009, 10:40 PM
Madman, I keep visiting this thread, still don't have the words but this time I'm posting anyway. Just felt the need to let you know my thoughts are with you and yours, and I know you're enduring about the worst suffering a person can have. My High School girlfriend was killed three years ago (age 29) and her father, a minister, performed the service and graveside. I don't know how her parents made it through, but they did, and you will too, scars and all. BTW, good choice of pic for the obit, I hope when you see her in you mind she is always smiling like that!

Ian

Hunter
11-02-2009, 12:50 AM
Prayers to you and your family, wow I cannot even begin to imagine what you all are going through.

philthephlier
11-02-2009, 12:54 AM
God be with you and your family.

Ranch Dog
11-02-2009, 10:04 AM
I don't know how to just go about life with out her.

Madman,

My deepest condolences for your loss. You don't "just go about life without her." As the sadness passes, you will find joy in the memory of her. Use that joy to form a new basis for your life. You will never be the same person you were, if you are like me or others, that probably is a good thing as this loss can be used to make you and how you value others better. You and your daughter have already been the sentinel in reminding many just how fragile life is and how all the ups and downs encountered are just not that important in the scheme of things. Celebrate your daughter's life through your's, let your life experience relay the love you have for your daughter by influencing others to live and love life to the fullest through their relationships.

My prayers for you and your family, God bless you.

muleequestrian
11-02-2009, 07:04 PM
Sir, I am sorry to hear of your loss. The anniversary of my daughter's death was just this past weekend. I lost her on Halloween just last year. It's been tough, and I wish there was something I could say to help ease your pain a bit. I can say it does get little bit easier with time, but it never goes completely away. Again, I am sorry to hear of your loss.

lightman
11-03-2009, 12:02 AM
Madman,sorry for your loss.My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Lightman

shdwlkr
11-06-2009, 12:16 AM
madman
I lost my 13 year old last year and this just woke up some thoughts about her reading your loss. You can't bring them back but you can keep them alive in your memories of the silly things they did.
My daughter was in poor health, had many medical issues and I watched for a year keep going down hill. Worst or best of all depending on how you look at it I was the one who found her and went through all the hard questions when the police came and dealing with the issue in my mind if I could have done something more if I had found her sooner.
I am so sorry for your loss and nothing I can say will make the next year easier but I am truly sorry for your loss and hope that you find comfort in knowing you had her for her life in your heart and hers.

mstarling
11-07-2009, 12:41 PM
Oh My! I can't believe I missed your initial post. Our most sincere condolences and small prayers go to you and your family.

The next months will not be easy. Loss of a family member never is ... especially a child. We're just not built for that.

Again, our small prayers for you and yours.

Mike

madman
11-08-2009, 10:17 PM
Well today would have been Missy's 31st Birthday. Whom ever said that time heals all wounds has never lost a child. Carolyn and I are just going day by day. The tears sneak up on you and kick you in the guts when you least expect them to. My Son is having a very hard time with Missy's passing. He has 2 children they are his life. He misses his Sister. To see your child in so much pain and sorrow is a very hard burden to carry. To all here. Love like there is no tomorrow, You just never know what the next day will bring. God bless you all.

LAH
11-09-2009, 07:47 AM
To all here. Love like there is no tomorrow, You just never know what the next day will bring.

Very well said, my heart goes out to you...........Lynn

Shiloh
11-09-2009, 09:15 AM
My condolences. I have no words to take the pain away. They would be yours in a heartbeat if I did.

Shiloh

shdwlkr
11-09-2009, 03:27 PM
Madman
I lost my first wife 29 years ago, my teenage daughter last year. Life isn't fair and those left behind feel the pain the greatest when we remember things they did or said. I can tell you the first months are going to be the worst, then the first year and as it turns into years slowly you will get past the loss. You will never forget them or things they did or said, usually the silly things and I do feel that is to help us to realize they were someone very special and that we were very blessed to have had them as long as we did.
I do hope that with every tear you cry you do feel some relief and comfort with your lost daughter. I do understand very well where you are and what you are going through. Keep talking it does really help even when anger comes into the discussion as it is letting the emotions out and that is a good thing.
PM me if you want to talk

madman
12-13-2009, 10:12 PM
Well Thanksgiving is gone and Christmas is coming fast. This is our 1st Christmas with out our Missy. Some of her friends still visit Carolyn and I. The days drag on. Missy's friends wrote a some for her and performed it at a local club they had a gig last night. They are a great kids. They are trying to get a recording contract, yes they are that good!. Time is going by slowly. It is going to be a long cold winter. To those of you whom have posted here your prayers and sorrow. I thank you. I only wish I could give each and every one of you a bear hug. I really do consider you all family. Thank you and God bless. Merry Christmas.

shdwlkr
12-13-2009, 11:21 PM
Madman
I have been where you are twice once with the death of a wife and a second time when one of teenage daughters died.
The emptiness will at times seem to totally consume you if you let but don't as Missy wouldn't want you to give up on her just because she died.
Think of all the good times and the silly things that you did and she did and just let each day unfold as it does. Some days you will cry, some days will seem like they never end, some nights will be terrible and most of all some memories will bring you to tears and let them flow as they will help and in time you will once again enjoy Missy's love and humor.
May the good lord walk with you and your family now and forever. May your sorrow be blessed with some good thoughts and most of all try and be happy.
From one who has been there and has made it back mostly
May Next year be a blessing to your and yours and may the time seem short and may life have meaning again for you and yours.

LAH
12-14-2009, 05:44 PM
May Next year be a blessing to your and yours and may the time seem short and may life have meaning again for you and yours.

My thoughts also. God Bless.............Creeker

shdwlkr
12-14-2009, 09:09 PM
Madman
The hardest thing I have done in this life is watching my best friend's dad the day we buried him. I buried my best friend the day before my birthday of that year. It was 10 years after my wife was murdered. Then last year we buried our teenage daughter from my current marriage. Yes I can tell you what it is like and a lot of what you are going to be doing in the near future.

geargnasher
12-14-2009, 10:59 PM
Well Thanksgiving is gone and Christmas is coming fast. This is our 1st Christmas with out our Missy. Some of her friends still visit Carolyn and I. The days drag on. Missy's friends wrote a some for her and performed it at a local club they had a gig last night. They are a great kids. They are trying to get a recording contract, yes they are that good!. Time is going by slowly. It is going to be a long cold winter. To those of you whom have posted here your prayers and sorrow. I thank you. I only wish I could give each and every one of you a bear hug. I really do consider you all family. Thank you and God bless. Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas to you, too. Consider yourself bearhugged.

Try hard to hold your family tight, fight the depression and feelings of guilt that tends to isolate and separate family members as you each cope in your own ways.

"This, too, shall pass."

Ian

BT Sniper
12-16-2009, 05:59 AM
I must say that I wish you well. I pray that I may never experience the loss you have to endure. I must say that your strength and the warmth of the many here that have posted have been valuable to myself. If there is anyway that it may make you feel even the slightest bit better knowing that your strength in a very difficult time, as well as the caring of others, has helped me to understand the love a father has for his children. I am young at 33 and will hug my twin 3 year old baby girls and count my blessings so I may be a better father to them.

Thank you, for even though I may have not helped your pain you have certainly helped me in just your first post of this thread. "Hug your kids". Yes sir that I shall.

Myself and my family wish you the best.

Brian, Lisa, Kendra, and Makenzie

charger 1
12-16-2009, 07:42 AM
I'm never good with words, but then again I dont imagine words can do it justice. I used to live in total fear that our one and only would just get to the age where we really really got attatched, then we'd loose her. We've been having a terrible year in ways to numerous to mention, but I'm thinking right now I'd best quit my pitty party for me and offer you my most heart felt fatherly sympathies

Super38
12-17-2009, 10:34 AM
I am terribly sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers.

This is a poem that helped my mother and I (her father/my grandfather passed.)

May God walk besides you and your family, now and forever.

Super38


The Dark Candle
by: Strickland Gillilan, Aspiring to Greatness


A man had a little daughter-an only and much-beloved child. He lived for her ~ she was his life. So when she became ill and her illness resisted the efforts of the best obtainable physicians, he became like a man possessed, moving heaven and earth to bring about her restoration to health.

His best efforts proved unavailing and the child died. The father was totally irreconcilable. He became a bitter recluse, shutting himself away from his many friends and refusing every activity that might restore his poise and bring him back to his normal self. But one night he had a dream. He was in Heaven, and was witnessing a grand pageant of all the little child angels. They were marching in an apparently endless line past the Great White Throne. Every white-robed angelic tot carried a candle. He noticed that one child's candle was not lighted. Then he saw that the child with the dark candle was his own little girl. Rushing to her, while the pageant faltered, he seized her in his arms, caressed her tenderly, and then asked: "How is it, darling that your candle alone is unlighted? "Father, they often relight it, but your tears always put it out."

Just then he awoke from his dream. The lesson was crystal clear, and its effects were immediate. From that hour on he was not a recluse, but mingled freely and cheerfully with his former friends and associates. No longer would his little darling's candle be extinguished by his useless tears.

Multigunner
12-18-2009, 08:53 PM
Condolences.
Remember the old Japanese saying that one still lives so long as someone remembers them and honors their deeds.
We never really lose those we love so long as they continue to occupy a place in our hearts and minds.

Lloyd Smale
12-31-2009, 09:20 AM
God bless you!

hammerhead357
01-02-2010, 12:06 AM
Wow I just read this again and my 10 yr. old daughter came in and set on my lap. I just can't imagine the loss of her or my youngest son. We have had a lot of medical problems with him and he had died 2 times in the recovery room but was revived. Now he is healthy as a horse thank God... Still he has some problems but they can be corrected. Sorry for your loss it has to be terrible...Wes

mroliver77
01-02-2010, 01:20 AM
Still thinking of you and praying for ya madman. The holidays are freakin ruff!! My cousin and I had daughters the same age. 21 right now. His is Tara, mine was Sara. I was over to see them the other day and seeing Tara justbrings back some of the loss. It dont ever geet easier, just different. I am lucky that God graced us with an "accident" when we were 40 and I have a wonderful 9 year old that keeps me from thinking too much.
Jay

SteveL
01-02-2010, 02:30 AM
Madman - my prayers go out to you and your family, that God would give you all comfort and strength in the midst of this. I cannot imagine what it is like to go through this kind of loss. My deepest condolences, Steve

pls1911
01-02-2010, 09:46 AM
Find comfort that you're among men who care,
and find stregnth in our respose which reveals feelings
which words simply cannot express ...
some of us have shared your loss.
Stay the course.

milsurp mike
01-04-2010, 12:04 AM
Still prayin for yall.Mike

madman
03-15-2010, 10:42 AM
Well Friday will be the 6 month mark. a lot has happened since her passing. Mostly good things. I still can not go for long with out crying but it is getting a little better. The things that I used to think that were important have no meaning at all. Looking at her photos is the hardest. Missy's friends have all gone there own ways. Missy was the glue that held them all together. Life happens I guess. I would not trade any thing for the opportunity I had to be her father. Carolyn and I are still just going through the motions of life nothing can replace her. God Bless you all my Friends and Brothers

outdoorfan
03-15-2010, 11:47 AM
Still droppin' prayers of comfort for your family.

shdwlkr
03-15-2010, 08:22 PM
Madman
I can still remember being told that my first wife had been murdered and also finding my teenage daughter dead in her bed just a few years ago.
You never get totally over it, my first wife has been dead now for 30 years and there is still things that remind me of her. Our two kids don't have much to do with dad as I still feel they blame me some for their mother's death. Life happens and it isn't always good things.
My daughter was very ill and had been going down hill for over a year and for her it was a blessing.
I can understand where you and your wife are and all I can say you will get over it if you let it happen and then you have all the good memories to think about and that will get you through it all.

HEAVYSHOT
03-16-2010, 03:17 PM
dear sir i to have lost my wife it will be three years in april . it is very hard . i lost her to cancer .it is hard every day but it will get a bet better i cant say i will ever forget her we done everything together we was marred 46 years..my prayers are with you.take care heavyshot.

mroliver77
03-17-2010, 01:25 AM
Madman, it has been a little over 2 years I lost my 18 year old daughter. It sucks!! People tell me it gets better. The tears dont come as often now. The other night I was reading on here and fading off to sleep. I read a post from a cop that said "try pulling a dead kid out of a car and then having to inform the parents or something like that. I was instantly wide awake. The pain was very fresh. It was after midnight. My wife run off so I dont have her to share this with. I went to the barn and casted till 4 AM. Lubed and loaded till it was light out. Lucky I have a 9 year old that God gave us when I was 40. I get her 50% of the time. She needs me. Nights suck. I am headed to the barn to cast and lube for a bit. I am still praying for you.
Jay

SCIBUL
03-17-2010, 10:39 AM
Madman. I am very sorry for you and your wife. Like I said in a precedent post, time just make the things more comfortables but can't make us forget. I think that the most important thing is to keep contact with your wife. Speak to her when you need and listen to her when she needs. It is a pain parents have to share to continue their life together. Stay strong and god bless you.

GP100man
03-25-2010, 08:30 AM
Mike and Carolyn,

I just read your post and my heart goes out to you both. Please accept my condulences and prayes. It's been about 9 mths that my cousin and his wife lost their d yer old daughter in an accidental drowning. His wife hade went in the house to get her some juce and wasn't even gone but what seemed 5 minutes and when she came back outside she was gone. The whole neighborhood looked for her for over an hour and a half , they had alread called the police and firedepartment and rescue. They had tried to look in the in ground pool that the whole neighborhood used, but it had been scheduled to be clean for a few more weeks, so it was green and murcky nobody couldn't see anything. So they decided to drag the pool and that's where they found her, but it was too late, she was already gone. They and we are still greiving and probably always will but she is and will be always in our hearts and memories. And as long as you kept them their and keep the faith Heveanly Father will never give us no more than we can handle. I noticed that you lived in Salt Lake City, Utah and I was wandering if you and your family were LDS (Mormans), GP100man and I are, he is 7th year LDS and I converted 23 years ago. This year we will be married 25 years and it took us 13 &1/2 years to get pregant and have our 1st daughter, we were sealed in the Atlanta, GA Temple went she was 15 mths old. then when she was 2, I found out I was pregant again and this one was a girl too. Their now 11 & 1/2 and 9, I never let a morning go by that I don't kiss and hug them goodbye before they go to school, which is only about a mile & 1/2 from our house and I tell them "I love you and how was your day when they get off the bus."
and we say our prayers we hug them and tell them we love them and good night every night. So as I said earlier our prayers and thoughts are with you and your family. And may God bless and comfort you.

Mrs. GP100man

AriM
04-01-2010, 04:10 PM
It was hard to make it through this entire thread with dry eyes. My condolences, prayers and heart go out to all of you that have lost. I can't imagine the pain of losing a child. I have no children of my own, so I am trying to find an appropriate prayer to say. I have lost quite a few family members (most of them actually, only my mother is left) and I have found that I can't make it through a day without thinking about them. What has helped me is to not dwell on the time I lost, or will never have again. Rather I have learned to think of the good things we shared and how blessed I have been to have the time I did with them. I think it's best not to forget them. Also I find great comfort in knowing, that god has a place for us all. Sinners and saints. I hope something I have shared helps all who have lost. Especially those who are still trying to make sense of it all. The grace of god will deliver us through all that is set before us. It's a small comfort, I know, but I hope it helps.

Blessing to all, and God's will to those that have lost.

gray wolf
05-27-2010, 05:59 PM
I am so sorry for your loss, My prayers go out to you and the family. I hope it is a little comfort for you to know that so many fine people care about you and yours.
I am also sorry that I didn't see this before today.

Sam and Julie

.357
05-30-2010, 11:12 PM
madman, i sit here crying and praying for you and yours. God takes care of his own.

madman
06-22-2010, 04:21 PM
My life has been a list of 'Firsts" since My baby Died. The 1st missed Birthday, the First missed Christmas, The first of many holidays. Father's Day was a bad one. My Baby's friend's called and came over to wish me a happy Fathers day but it is just not the same. Time really does not really heal anything you just get tired of crying and try to have some time when things seam more normal.
I buried a friend yesterday and all of the memories came flooding back. Today I spent the morning setting up our Churches Girls camp. Missy loved Girls camp. In my journey through this mess so far I have learned that "Love is the only thing that heals all wounds" So with my love and many thanks to you all, May God bless you all with ENOUGH!.enough love, kindness, work, happiness health, money, lead, primers and powders, family time and enough of every thing you may need.

Thank you.

shdwlkr
06-22-2010, 05:24 PM
Madman
Sunday was a bitter day for me as my one daughter who keeps in limited contact with dad wished me a happy father's day. Well all it did was remind me that my first was was murdered 30 years ago this year, 20 years ago my best friend in this life was buried on my birthday and 5 years ago both of my parents were gone. It was two years ago that I found my almost 14 year old daughter dead in her bed.
Yes a lot of things have changed but some things have not, I still miss all those who were close to me who are gone and will most likely until I leave this life. But I can't keep living in the past as there is nothing I can do to change it and remembering just brings back the tears and sad feelings. So I have decided to find some good things to think about.
My first wife and I built our home with the help of my dad and it was sold 2 years after she died stupid. It was in the hills that now look like a suburb so I am glad I left. My best friend and I roamed all over those hills as we knew all the farms and they are gone also. My parents left me with the desire to do something good before I die, still working on that one and also to stay free and always look for the good in people who work with their hands and the land. My daughter who died has taught me life isn't always fair but it is the best we have, so do as much as you can as long as you can so when you no longer can do that you have memories to keep you going.
May the good lord keep and watch over us all until it is our time to leave this life.

kennisondan
08-04-2010, 05:36 PM
it sort of re defines everything for you, certain words that describe pain and emotions are much more clear and the subtleties pop out at you...
you are going through the hardest thing a parent can do..
my son was fourteen.
after years it got better but was really tough at first..
re define yourself as some of your identity has been shelved.. it is not lost.. it is just over... you have new identity and more identity.. that was important to me.
take time for you and yours ..
I greive all over for your tragic loss... it drives it home like a stake through my heart and the weight on my chest is back, the thinking is not clear... I do understand..
you will be OK.
dk

crappiejig
08-08-2010, 12:46 AM
My condolences as well, Your family is in our prayers.

riceone
08-12-2010, 08:11 PM
I'm 76 and my sister just older than me died when I was 3 and I still vividly remember the pain and sorrow my mama and daddy endured for years. I weep for you. riceone.

geargnasher
09-20-2010, 01:54 AM
1st year's past, Madman, I'd like to hear from you, let us know how you're doin'.

Gear

Milltown353
09-26-2010, 04:27 PM
Praying for you and your family.

madman
09-29-2010, 04:00 PM
Thanks Gear for remembering. I was not sure I should post more. My Wife and I are doing ok. I have had the opportunity to work with a lot of people in the last 6 months that make me very thankful for a loving Father in Heaven. Missy's friends that have adopted Carolyn and I as their family are still visiting and sharing there love with us. The pain of loosing my baby girl never goes away there are just times when I can almost get through a day now with out crying. I know that being a Father is the greatest job a man can have. I got to bless a baby in church a couple of weeks ago. Her mom is one of Missy's friends. Her grandfather will not have anything to do with her or her Mom and Dad so I was given the honor and asked to be her Grandpa. What a joy this little girl has been to my Wife and I. God bless you all. Thank you for your love and support. Friends and Family truly are forever.

geargnasher
10-02-2010, 12:07 AM
I know this isn't a "blog", but it is good to hear back, even better to hear you're focusing on the positive things life still offers. Love opens doors.

Gear

roverboy
10-04-2010, 01:02 PM
I sorry for your loss. I can't imagine losing a child.

madman
01-25-2011, 06:32 PM
I was just sitting here thinking about all of the blessings and prayers that have been give on my Families behalf. I have a hard time going to her grave site any more. I thought that the tears would have dried up long ago. To many things remind me of her. My son is having a devil of a time getting over Missy's passing. Now it seams that we are going to have to move because the Town wants to widen our road again. it will take 15 feet from the front of my so the the new road will go right through her bedroom and our living room. I wish that the town council could feel what I am feeling and find another way. I seams as though the weight on these shoulders just gets heaver and heaver. I thank you all for your prayers. I just wanted some one to talk to.

LAH
01-26-2011, 08:45 AM
Madman things change. We can't stop it in most cases. Missy has moved on & maybe this is the time for you to do so too. A new place, new sourrounding may change things for you. I'm not suggesting you'll forget or the pain will go away, only you might look at things from a different angle. Wish you the best.............Creeker

PacMan
01-30-2011, 07:27 PM
There is one thing that i pray for most of all and it is that i go befor my children and beloved wife.The thought of losing them is more than i can stand. I canot say that i know your hurt but can only imagine.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours.

Dwight Hardy

nanuk
05-18-2011, 01:11 PM
Thanks Gear for remembering. ....I got to bless a baby in church a couple of weeks ago. ....I was given the honor and asked to be her Grandpa. What a joy this little girl has been to my Wife and I. God bless you all. Thank you for your love and support. Friends and Family truly are forever.


the cirle of Life, the circle of Life

You carry in your heart the memories of Melissa.

Don't let them be a weight that pulls you under.
Use them as a buoy to keep you head above the ocean of tears and sorrows.

Your family needs you as much or more now than ever before!

Use those memories to help you focus on the positives, Your adopted Granddaughter, and guide you as you infuence her to think and act as a good soul.

Use those memories to help you stay strong so your family can use you as the Rock they need to ground them.

it will honour Melissa's memory!

I have a (step) grandson and I can't imagine life without children in it!

Prayers to you and yours.

Buddy
05-18-2011, 11:02 PM
I will pray for you, may your sorrow lessen with each day. I lost my 13yr old son in '91 and just lost a precious 2 1/2yr old grandson in August last year. We must remember there is a passage in the Bible that says, God does not take children from their parents but He surely provides a place in His Kingdom for them to reunite. I battled myself for years till a Pastor pointed this out to me. Carry on, our family will remember yours in our prayers.

flyboy's niece
05-19-2011, 12:02 AM
Please know that there is no greater joy and blessing for we daughters than to have a father like you.

Moonie
05-20-2011, 12:50 PM
Flyboy's niece, there is nothing a father can hear that means more than an unsolicited statement such as that.

madman
05-23-2011, 01:57 PM
Flyboy's niece thank you so much. That and all of the support that Carolyn and I have received from all of you gives us hope that there will be better times ahead. My Son is having a great struggle with his Sisters passing. We were only blessed with 2 children. Now he feels like an "ONLY". I love him so much. Thank you everyone. We have to move soon. Not looking forward to it. God Bless and keep every one healthy, safe and happy.

DCP
05-27-2011, 05:56 PM
In this sad world of ours.
Sorrow comes to all.
It comes with bitterest agony.
Perfect relief is not possible.
Except with time.
You can not now realize that you will ever feel better.
Is not this so?
And yet it is a mistake.
You are sure to be happy again.
To know this, which is certainly true.
Will make you some less miserable now.
I have had experience enough to know what I say.


Abraham Lincoln

hiram1
05-28-2011, 10:51 AM
I have no words to express to you my sadness for the loss of Melissa The world is a lesser place without her. But I know she is with God and the angels, and even Heaven has improved by her presence there. I know you too are sure of this, and yet this knowledge can't diminish her loss or your grief.

With abiding respect and affection,
DannyMurphy

kbzeroqvn
05-28-2011, 11:11 AM
Wish we could all be there to give you a hug, and pray with you. As it is, we will all just have to pray for her where we are at. My daughter lost a son when he was eight months old. She suffered the anguish one feels to lose a part of their life, and indeed, a part of themselves. It is an old saw, but time indeed heals all wounds. The pain doesnt go away completely, but it does soften with time. My daughter now can enjoy life and her other children, but she can not fogret that little Daniel was once among us and now walks with God, as does your daughter.
I know why you posted....your heart was breaking

madman
08-08-2012, 07:11 PM
Time has passed so slowly since your passing. I see that there are many friends here on this site that have passed also. I have been away for some time. Life goes on but never are you or my friends that have passed out of my thoughts. Brothers pray for each other. Rejoice in the fact that we have this medium to comunicate with each other. I thank you all for your help and wisdom. I am still learning.
My friends that have cause to mourn be ashured that you are never alone in this life. May God Bless you each and every one, Keep you safe in your search to find that perfect load, lube.

Sooner or later we all have to pass from this earth. I hope to some day meet you all.

LAH
08-09-2012, 09:37 PM
Friend I know your loss must be heavy, a child is so precious. Only today I preached the funeral of a child. He was 51 years old, dead from cancer but still the only child of a great man & woman. They sat nicely on the front row but at last leaving that room to see their son never again on this side was more than they could handle. It surely is a sad thing.

madman
09-19-2012, 08:50 PM
Well it has been 3 years ago today that Missy went home to God. Some of Her friends came over and we spent the day together. I am about to be an adopted grandpa again in March. Yea!. I love and miss you Missy. Thank you for letting me be your Dad. Looking forward to holding you again.

geargnasher
09-20-2012, 01:59 PM
Well it has been 3 years ago today that Missy went home to God. Some of Her friends came over and we spent the day together. I am about to be an adopted grandpa again in March. Yea!. I love and miss you Missy. Thank you for letting me be your Dad. Looking forward to holding you again.

Good to see you around again, noticed you posted in another thread here yesterday and was wondering how things were going. What became of the highway project?

Gear

madman
09-22-2012, 03:02 PM
They threatened iminent domain and we took there offer we came out on the stinky end of the stick. We are in a different home now and still trying to get organized. We have nothing but problems in this house. I had replaced all of the plumbing and up dated the electrical at our othe house now I have to start all over again.

Needless to say our Government is not on my favorits list. My old house is gone. My memories of my kids in the old house and some old photos are all that remain.

Casper29
10-17-2012, 03:20 PM
I am so sorry, I have three daughters and 1 granddaughter, I can not imagine losing one, all I can think of is God must have needed another angel.

madman
09-02-2015, 05:49 AM
6 years will have come and gone on the 19 of this month! Time waits for no one. Blink and you are old and wonder where the time went. It has been an interesting few years. Wanting to move to Gods country (Kentucky) circumstances may not let us. Health has gone down hill fast. Life is funny. Just when you crawl up that hill ya get kicked in the gut and roll back down. The up side is that those that you love and have passed away are not too far away. I have a bunch of friends and family on the other side. Cancer is an evil thing that tears families apart ruins financial plans. Kill the hopes and future of millions. I pray that the cure is not to far away. May God watch over you all and keep you safe. Missing my baby!

LAH
09-04-2015, 03:12 PM
Thank you. We didn't come here to stay. I think about what you said & the saying you will earn your living by the sweat of your face comes to mind. Seems like many pass after work time is over or trouble comes where you can't do the things you want when retirement comes.

Grits
09-04-2015, 03:19 PM
Isiah wrote in his book "behold I create a new heaven and a new earth and the former things will not come to mind"

When we see the Lord in heaven we won't remember the bad stuff here. This gives us a Hope.

No more hurts, habits, or hang ups. At peace.

madman
10-03-2018, 05:07 PM
Its time for an up date I guess, it has been 9 years since Missy passed. her Friends have come and gone, moved on to other things in life. I think about her all the time. Tears still flow like water falls.
Friends and other family members have passed, a lot of water under that old bridge..
I lost the ability to see for almost 2 years after cataract surgery and Drs mistakes. thanks to a dedicated retina DR and his team, eyes are good to go now, still playing with cast boolits. I shoot when i can get out and the old body will let me. ha ha. Its great to be able to read the posts here what a great bunch of Guys here. To all that have passed form the ranks here you have made friends and family that will really last forever!!!
May the Lord's blessing be upon you and yours and bring joy and happyness to you all. God bless you my friends.

Der Gebirgsjager
10-03-2018, 07:30 PM
May the Lord's blessing be upon you and yours and bring joy and happyness to you all. God bless you my friends.

And may His blessings and condolences be with you also, sir.

Mr_Sheesh
10-04-2018, 06:20 AM
I am glad you've had good progress in vision; And very sorry for your losses. Keep healing and it will get better than it is, slowly but surely.

LAH
10-06-2018, 09:53 PM
Happy you're getting out & about.

Dieselhorses
10-07-2018, 12:38 AM
Its time for an up date I guess, it has been 9 years since Missy passed. her Friends have come and gone, moved on to other things in life. I think about her all the time. Tears still flow like water falls.
Friends and other family members have passed, a lot of water under that old bridge..
I lost the ability to see for almost 2 years after cataract surgery and Drs mistakes. thanks to a dedicated retina DR and his team, eyes are good to go now, still playing with cast boolits. I shoot when i can get out and the old body will let me. ha ha. Its great to be able to read the posts here what a great bunch of Guys here. To all that have passed form the ranks here you have made friends and family that will really last forever!!!
May the Lord's blessing be upon you and yours and bring joy and happyness to you all. God bless you my friends.

Hi Madman, found this thread just browsing through forum. I feel bad about your loss and you have my condolences and prayers. Many of us count the years or months that have past being away from a loved one. I personally look at every day that goes by "one day closer" to seeing them again :D. It is evident that God has in some way "funneled" my attention to this forum. For if it weren't for people like you and countless others on here who are firm believers in God, the Constitution and just "down-to-Earth" folk, I'd probably still be sowing a few more wild oats! Anyway, I've never had a daughter (only sons). I guess there was a reason why God didn't give me a daughter but I don't question it. Your daughter's obituary is still on line. I read it through some tears, she was a very fine young woman. God bless you and your family, and thanks again for all your knowledge.

madman
09-19-2022, 10:01 PM
Well its been 13 years since I last saw my darling baby girl alive here on earth. Lots of other friends and Family members have crossed over to the other side since then too. I am old now and wonder when my time will come. Only one old Friend left the last one passed Last year 40 plus years or hunting,fishing,camping, ATVing and just generally loved hanging out together as the Butt Head Boys only 2 left now myself and one other he has 2 types of cancer and a bunch of other things going against him. I thank God for every memory I have of the good times and the bad that we shared as brothers from another mother. I hope that There is a place on the other side for us to continue as Brothers and roam and have more Adventures. May all of my Friends and Brothers here find happiness and peace and prosperity love and Friendships that last a life time and beyond.
God Bless you and keep You and yours safe in the times to come.

BLAHUT
09-19-2022, 11:05 PM
my deepest condolences to you and family. you are in my prayers.

Wag
09-20-2022, 06:55 AM
Madman, I just now saw this thread. My deepest condolences to you and your family.

Words are never enough. But I would say that talking about her will heal you more than anything else.

No parent should ever have to bury their own child.

--Wag--

Hickok
09-20-2022, 08:31 AM
I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. My prayers in the name of Christ Jesus for you and your wife.

Many here, know of the deep pain of your loss...and we grieve with you.

buckwheatpaul
09-20-2022, 05:33 PM
madman, I cant begin to say how sorry for your loss. We lost a daughter over twenty years ago and all I can say is if you need to talk send me a pm and I will send you my number....Father, I come to You to pray for the pain associated with losing a child. Please be with her parents, other family, and friends as they deal with this terrible loss. Please help them all to dwell on the great moments they shared and steer them away from the loss of the child. AMEN

ACC
09-20-2022, 06:07 PM
Wow am I sorry! Heaven is a better place because of her.

Andrew (ACC)

Shawlerbrook
09-20-2022, 06:17 PM
Prayers sent from Central NYS. I can’t imagine the pain you must feel.

LAH
09-22-2022, 01:53 PM
The passing of a loved one is sad for sure but the hope of the Resurrection is a lively hope. Condolences.