Wise old fart sayings

[The Nyack Kid]

ive been sitting around thinking about all the Wise Old Fart sayings that I have been told . i better write them down before i forget them again . I dont know who the Wise Old Fart is but he is a wise-guy for sure.


"you will go to hell or Californian for shooting jacketed bullets in the 45-70 , only cast lead is kosher" .

" Beer is spelled B-U-D-W-E-I-Z-E-R .......so i cant spell "

"Character is for peolpe too poor to afford class , and i am loaded with character " also " i have more character than i can shake a stick at, and being a logger , i have some big sticks to wave around"

"The best way to change the temperment of a cat is to stick it in the microwave for five minutes on high , try this soup "

"my a$$ is sore from pulling miracles out of it "

" I am not a logger , i am a cutter/sawyer , loggers are the guys who clean up my mess"

"stihl is the only chainsaw worth having ,all the rest are just fancy boat anchors "

"Its not the age that counts its the milage , and i got the milage"

"im so funny , I scare myself"

"never lend anybody your gun or your chainsaw" .

this guy is my hero

[Frank46]

"Age and treachery shall overcome youth and skill". Unknown hi power shooter Frank

[castalott]

"never Pass A Bathroom And Never Trust A Fart.

[Herb in Pa]

No matter how hard you try..........you can't polish a turd!!!!

[sundog]

If'n ya run across a turtle settin' atop a fence post, he had some help. sundog

[7br]

The difference between parents that beat their kids and those that don't is will power.

[9.3X62AL]

Never underestimate the power of administrative inertia to prevent good things from occurring.

[Bodydoc447]

Don't assume evil intent for that which is easily explained by incompetence and apathy.

[felix]

Never say never (in intent) and never say always (in intent) because either concept belongs only to the Lord who created all facts. We are mere observers of those facts. ... felix

[NVcurmudgeon]

Old fart bull to eager young bull wanting to charge down the hill to a herd of cows:
"No, boy, we'll WALK down and get them all."

[Bullshop]

Two of my favorites-
Its best to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt!
and-
A man of words and not of deeds is like a garden full of weeds!
BIC/BS

[MT Gianni]

It's not the mileage that counts but the off-road miles."
A gun without bullets is only a piece of pipe." [I got my wife to write that in a caligraphy class one time with a real anti for a teacher]
"Cut dog, no puppies" this says volumnes about future plans and regrets. Gianni.

[David R]

K. I. S. S.

My favorite, Keep it Simple Stupid. I carry a pocket knife with that etched in it.

David

[wills]

"never Pass A Bathroom And Never Trust A Fart.

Some of these old farts are pretty trustworthy.

[Topper]

I started out with nothing...I still have most of it.

[sundog]

Topper, I started out with a birthday suit. Somehow, I still have it. It's a little wrinkled now. sundog

[The Nyack Kid]

" fool me once , shame on you . Fool me twice shame on me "

"there are two types of people in this world , Men and Women."

[Bret4207]

"The whole secret to getting ahead is getting started". (I need a plaque engraved with these words to hang over my procrastinators recliner, just haven't got aroound to doing it yet!!)

"Some of them girls is stronger than they look"- Rancid Crabtree to young Pat after loosing an arm wrestling match.

[RugerFan]

"Man's best friend outside of a dog is a book, inside a dog it's too dark to read"
-Groucho Marx

[The Nyack Kid]

" ok , i'm going to crawl off somewhere , and die"

[The Nyack Kid]

" The two most , misunderstood , abused , and overrated words in the English Language are Love and Deserve ."