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View Full Version : Lost my daughter one year ago yesterday



shdwlkr
03-28-2009, 11:20 AM
Funny it took me most of this last year to accept that my 13 year old daughter was gone. She was very bad shape as she had brittle bones, a g-tube( it is a tube stuck in your stomach so you can be fed) cerebral Palsy, blind, unable to speak and take care of herself. She had been going down hill for the last few years and I could just watch her fail a little more each day.
The last day she was alive we went to the hospital to have a something done to help her fragile bones gain density and we were unable to do it because we couldn't find a vein that we could put a needle in. I brought her home and as I was carrying her into the house talking to her like I usually did I asked her how much longer where we going to be doing this and put her in her bed after I took her coat off and the next time I checked on her a few hours later because she usually took sometime to get used to all the moving around that she had gone through as with her health I am guessing she just plain hurt from all the movement.
She was in her bed dead and I had to call mom and 911 with the news. I was a basket case when the police arrived and thank goodness it was a friend of mine that was the first here and when my county sheriff showed up they where already to put the handcuffs on me and he told them to back off and set the tone for the rest of the ordeal and when the country corner's office person came they could tell I was really out of it and treated me very well but until the official corner person came and said that I did nothing but to try and help her and told the sheriff he could leave did I even start to settle down. Here in my state any death in the home is a homicide scene until determined different. Her doctor also helped as she told the corner's office we knew she was not long for this life and that I did nothing but try and make her comfortable.
The funeral was another thing and thank goodness for some dear friends that helped all they could. The wife found a good undertaker, the largest in our area that had the best price and also own a very large cemetery and has a special place for small children and Breanna at 13 was very small so she is with the rest of the little kids that have died and mom and dad will one day join her there.
I was looking for work out of the area but just couldn't go and leave her here all alone and with no one that knew her. Funny what ties us to an area.
Sorry I have written so much but with her birthday being yesterday it all just came back just like somethings bring back some bad things from when I was in service.

222
03-28-2009, 12:46 PM
My God's blessings be yours.

imashooter2
03-28-2009, 01:00 PM
Children should bury their parents not the other way around. I feel for you shdwlkr. My condolences on your loss.

shdwlkr
03-28-2009, 01:10 PM
Thanks imashooter2
My best friend buried his son and I can remember the look on his face so sad. But life must go on.

Throwback
03-28-2009, 07:31 PM
My condolences also - God bless you

rockrat
03-28-2009, 07:31 PM
My Grandparents buried my mom, back when I was a teen. I remember what they went thru. Condolences also.

No_1
03-28-2009, 08:42 PM
I could never imagine the feelings that consume you. Having 3 daughters myself (not much older than yours) caused my heart to jump as I was reading your story. I wish I had some words of wisdom that could ease your pain but at this very moment my thoughts have gone blank and my eyes are too teary to see .
Keep the faith my brother as we are praying for you,
Robert

Bret4207
03-29-2009, 09:21 AM
I watched my parents lose a daughter. They were never the same. My deepest and most sincere condolences.

Ranch Dog
03-29-2009, 12:29 PM
Dav,

I truly sorry about your loss.

SwedeNelson
03-29-2009, 03:23 PM
shdwlkr

Your in all our harts. (With a tear in my eye)
So sorry.

Swede Nelson

Topper
03-30-2009, 10:16 PM
The older I get, the more I realize how precious, temporary, and frail human life is.
Reading this has brought tears to my eyes and even though I have never lost I child, you have my full condolences.
What can I say other than the Lord loves you and loves your daughter too.
God bless

shdwlkr
03-30-2009, 10:26 PM
Topper
Thanks and I really believe some of us need more challenges in life and mine is getting to be a full book so I am wondering who isn't taking their fair share of the challenges?
Seriously I know she is in a better place and most likely thinking of ways to get back at dad now that she can walk and talk and see and do all of those things that kids do. So I expect to be totally abused when I see her again for at least a hundred years or so but what am I supposed to do she will have been gone for so long and have so much to catch up on.

Tn_River_Ratt
03-31-2009, 05:48 AM
shdwlkr

I feel share your pain after loosing my father to bone cancer in Feb. My family sends our thoughts and prayers.

Ratt

Lloyd Smale
03-31-2009, 07:58 AM
God Bless you and help you with your pain!

dmen
03-31-2009, 09:30 AM
I'm so sorry for your loss, dmen

Boondocker
03-31-2009, 09:12 PM
Shdwlker God Bless you and your family. I too watched my parents bury my oldest brother. It broke their hearts and mine also. It is good to talk about it and not let it pent up inside. My parents are gone now and I still shed tears for them and Wayne every so often when I think of them. Steve

shdwlkr
03-31-2009, 09:23 PM
Steve
I can still see my best friends dad the day we buried him we were just days apart in age and best friends all our lives. I saw him the last time in the summer of 89 and buried him the day before my birthday the following spring. Just 10 years earlier I buried my first wife with him by my side to support me and he lived with me for a while while I got some things worked out and he could find a place to live.
Both of them gone in 10 years and then there was the witch who stayed for 20 years so she could have a big piece of my pension and then the court gave her almost all of my stuff and there was nothing I could do. Between what the court gave her and my lawyers took there wasn't much left and I really had a rough year or two but then this great lady found me and puts up with me and that takes a lot and we have had 5 great and stressful years together and hope to have many more but one never knows in this life what or how we will leave this life or when.
I am doing better now that march is gone as my dad was born in march and he is gone now and so is my mom. Only my sister and me left out of my family as a kid. Have lost a lot of family and friends over the last 50 plus years but there is a reason for all the rough stuff I have dealt with I just haven't found it yet so I keep looking.

madsenshooter
04-05-2009, 09:50 PM
I had a GF once whose son had CP, he touched many lives. She once took me to a place where they tried to give him and those like him some life skills, never knew there were that many of them in the whole world, let alone in one place. He is over 30 now, his greatest joy is watching a football player make a long run, and I know it's because he'd like to be able to do the same. Were it possible, I would trade places with him. My condolences on your loss, just remember, on the other side, they can run!

shdwlkr
04-05-2009, 09:58 PM
Madsenshooter
they can also talk, walk, see and eat and drive parents nuts. But that is why we come here to learn how to over come things.

Big Boomer
04-08-2009, 12:38 PM
SHDWLKR: My heart hurts for you, my friend. May God comfort you in in these difficult times. God bless! 'Tuck

fivegunner
04-08-2009, 05:19 PM
Sir, my Prayers go out for you and your wife. God Bless you .

shdwlkr
04-09-2009, 01:54 PM
Thanks for all the kind words and thoughts and prayers. Some think all we talk about on these forums is guns and shooting to bad they never do get it. We all have feelings and things that hurt us and really pull at our hearts but we still go on.