Downsizing?

[fixit]

My sweetheart and I are drifting towards retirement (62 + 57), and she keeps bringing up this cuss word.... downsize. She has hopes of traveling in our retirement, and I share that thought, but I have been a working man all my life, and I envision retirement as being a time to do what I want to do, not so much what I have to do. This is where things go off the rails....I want to shoot, hunt, tinker, build and so on, and downsizing doesn't work well with that. Anyone out there have similar experiences with your sweethearts?

[Kestrel4k]

I have the sneaking feeling that she is talking about you downsizing your stuff rather than 'hers'.

[Txcowboy52]

I retired 2 years ago December, with the thought that I would be able to shoot more, cast more and reload more . Was I ever mistaken! I work more now around the house than I ever thought possible. When someone asks me about being retired, I say I’m not retired I’m under new management! It seems there is always something to be done.

[Fitz]

Told my sweetheart that she can down size when I am gone Or if she goes first I will upsize buy removing her stuff , but remember things are worth much more than I told you I paid for them, we both get a chuckle from that , will probably be the poor kids and then its their problem .

[myg30]

I have the sneaking feeling that she is talking about you downsizing your stuff rather than 'hers'.
Yup, that’s what mine was thinking by saying “WE” need to down size, meaning you have to much stuff and when we move it’s got to go or at least start organizing it and get rid of what you don’t need !
I wanted to be in the country, she wanted to be on the lake, neither got what we wanted but were really close to the lake and NOT in the country.
Me idea of retirement like yours fixit didn’t workout so well fer me or her kinda, but I love her and we get along.
My shooting hobbie is minimal. I have to travel 30 miles to a outdoor shooting range.
Good luck my friend. I hope you both find a good fair compromise !

Mike

[myg30]

I retired 2 years ago December, with the thought that I would be able to shoot more, cast more and reload more . Was I ever mistaken! I work more now around the house than I ever thought possible. When someone asks me about being retired, I say I’m not retired I’m under new management! It seems there is always something to be done.

You hit the nail on the head! Fixit he speaks the truth here !! Remember his post !

[CastingFool]

the word is hate is "organize" it's double speak for get rid of stuff you don't use. lol

[45workhorse]

Retirement, the hours are awesome, the pay sucks!

[cwtebay]

I am not so close to retirement as the OP, but my wife suggested this in January. I wholeheartedly agreed and consolidated the things I wished to keep and then asked her to do the same. Her's amounted to 4 cardboard boxes of old cords. Mine amounted to quite a bit more - but consolidated to about a corner of the shop. House and garage completely scrubbed of my existence - she got the point in roughly March when she noticed the bear rug, antelope skull and elk mounts were missing. Compromise is a positive thing for all of us!

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[Winger Ed.]

The in-laws talked like that to each other.
However- All Mom's stuff was 'collectable', and really just needed dusting off.
Pop's? Well, all his stuff was just junk.

When some item of Pop's was particularly offensive- he'd take it outside, pass by the trash can, and put it in the car trunk.

[jimlj]

I retired 2 years ago December, with the thought that I would be able to shoot more, cast more and reload more . Was I ever mistaken! I work more now around the house than I ever thought possible. When someone asks me about being retired, I say I’m not retired I’m under new management! It seems there is always something to be done.
Txcowboy, you're only an apprentice at this thing called retirement. Give it some time and the chores around the house will get finished. Your free time will increase and you can fill it as you please. (at least I can. It took me about 5 years to start getting that free time) Retirement has been good for me and my "new management" is great.


Fixit, downsizing, at least for me has been liberating. I still have a long way to go, but start getting rid of things you don't need. I got rid of several "projects" and the tools to do them I no longer have interest or desire to do. My wife has done the same and it's made the last move so much easier.

[Dekota56]

My Wife brought it up more then once, all I did is laugh, she got the hint. That is all it took. She doesn’t even go into my stuff except doing my laundry. But I keep her happy by going on vacations several times a year. We are in our mid 60’s.

[Wayne Smith]

First, ask her what she is downsizing. When we moved into this house (28 years ago) and LOML stated "I'm NEVER moving again!" - I took her up on that and told her, when our oldest son moved out, that I did not lose a son, I gained a gun room. She did not argue. After 28 years in the house, woodworking, cooking, smoking meat, and casting boolits and reloading I dread the idea of moving anyway.

[Handloader109]

We moved to NWA about 13 years ago. Bought a decent size 1500 sf house in a small subdivision. No shop. Was taking up one side of the garage to do anything. Neighbors died and some moved and not as good folks moved in. Wife wanted to move and found current house. 3 acres, surrounded by several hundred more on 3 sides and by another 40 on south side owned by another large land owner. 1800sf upstairs, 1600 in almost full basement. 2 car garage, and 24x36 ft shop. Almost enough room for us.... wife can't say downsize, she picked it.


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[WRideout]

Retirement? Downsizing? We didn't retire, we just changed employers. Now we work for our children. My beloved has boxes of toys in the basement that no child will ever use again, but she will not willingly part with them. Also, after years of keeping all school papers from the children, we are now keeping the papers of our grandchildren. My tool collection keeps growing, and usable lumber is never discarded. We will be in this house until the kids put us in a home.

Wayne

[hiram]

I am retired and I am downsizing. I have been selling firearms and ammo at gun shows I can't use and reloading and other items here.

If I kick off, my wife is left with all my stuff. She said she'll throw it out or go to a dealer. A dealer means 20-30 cents on a dollar. I don't care that much if I sell something on the light side because selling it means getting rid of it and that's what I want to do. I will keep just a few items I enjoy and that are special to me. I have 2-3 items earmarked for friends as gifts. Whatever is left at that point she can do what she wants to. My most difficult item to sell is the Hornady lock-n load AP press.

[JonB_in_Glencoe]

Downsizing? like to a van down by the river?

[wv109323]

My motto about retirement " If you do good work, and work for tree, you can stay busy." It seems like the grandchildren have caught on.

[imashooter2]

Other than occasionally reminding me of the sad experience I had settling my Father’s estate, no. But we had frank discussions early on about our wants and desires. Then more talks as we aged and situations changed.

Sounds like you two need to have a meeting of the minds. Traveling and maintaining your home, toys and tools aren’t mutually exclusive things.

[armoredman]

The wife retired three years ago, and discovered she is way too young to be retired, especially since I have 5.5 years to go until I can retire. So, she's at work right now while I enjoy my day off. At least she can tell the new employers to shove it if she hates it.
Downsize? Not yet, maybe in a few years - right now I am finally getting the toys i wanted and couldn't afford for all the lean years with the non-working ex-wife.

[pworley1]

Retire from my view: 1. Hours are longer. 2. Pay much worse. 3. No day off. Just joking, retired in 2017, and it has been great.

[Texas by God]

The less stuff that we have when we kick it is actually a blessing to our descendants.
It would have been to me[emoji16]
Five year rule helps a lot.


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[xs11jack]

My wife pulled a sneaky one on me. We talked about retiring out of town to a few acres because we both like the outdoors. Here in the suburban we have been blessed with great neighbors. Well, a weeks after retirement she says that she can't leave all her friends here and moving out is unacceptable. So here I am and it is OK I guess.
Ole Jack

[fixit]

My wife doesn't have any hobbies, and and has nothing she values greatly. As a result, she has always been "downsized". My side of the closet is packed to the gills with outdoor clothing, hunting and shooting supplies, various tinkering type projects, and whatnot. Our garage will not accept a car because of projects and equipment, as well as lumber and supplies. I have three toolboxes on my truck that are full of tools. There is room for organizing, but the amount of reduction my sweetie wants would be problematic....it would require a complete surrender of more than one of the endeavors that I engage in...I'm not sure how I feel about that.

[Baltimoreed]

We did all our traveling before I retired as my gal was a teacher with summers off and I had 4-5 weeks vacation every year. My suggestion is to travel while you’re young and able too. She never retired as she had a disabling stroke after 29 years of teaching. I retired 6 years after her stroke and with the help of others took care of her as she declined over 12 years. As to downsizing, Hurricane Irene did that for us. Took a year to get the house elevated and us back in it.

[MrWolf]

I moved out here almost seven years ago. Got the buildings up I wanted. I have tons of the kids old toys, papers, etc. My gf moved in a few years ago. My back is all messed up and hers isn't all that much better than mine. She has maybe five years left before retiring. We have 81 acres, no neighbors, and no plans on going anywhere. We love it here. Her church is just up the road. Downsizing? That is my kids issue as I am keeping everything I worked for. I figure they are getting everything for free so they can do some work deciding what to keep. One thing I want is in my will ( did one of those diy ones and really need one done by an attorney) that the place cannot be sold. There should be enough to pay for the place for a long time as taxes and personal property taxes are less than $2,000 a year combined. Timber was last cut about 20 years ago so they can always do that if more money is needed.

[Markopolo]

i have the sneaking feeling that she is talking about you downsizing your stuff rather than 'hers'.

lololol…

[Slugster]

I will not downsize. We live on 12.5 acres in a very quiet area, have my own 100 yd range and shooting shack. If I were to downsize, I would no longer be able to indulge in my hobbies and would most likely die of boredom.

As I told my wife: The next time I move, the County Coroner will do it for me.

[GOPHER SLAYER]

I retired thirty years ago. My Sweetheart and I traveled a lot. We went to places many Americans never visit, like Fort Sill OK, Death Vally and Joshwa Tree where thousands of movies and TV shows are filmed. After I retired af we moved to a place in the country. It had a lovely house on 2 1/2 acres. We lived there for 16 years and loved every minute of it
, then we downsizesd before moving into a senior community.

[firefly1957]

Downsizing is really not an option for me at least not unless my health fails I like where I am at quiet area on 20 acres I can shoot as much as I want and do here. My wife does get a bit bored and to really mess things up our daughter is moving to Florida so I do not know how things change now .
I retired in 2006 and SWMBO in 2012 we did some travel but not as much as planned . I also have not fished much as I thought for various reasons .

I probably need to sell my boat and motor home does that count as downsizing?

[trebor44]

Large construction dumpster in the driveway, the only way to downsize! One room at a time!

[MT Gianni]

Tell her you like having a sweetheart and that you see no reason to downsize one.
If she wants to live in a motorhome and travel the highways, try it for 6 months but don't sell anything off.

[firefly1957]

^^^^ I was going to mention that and forgot if you do try to travel look at renting a motor home for a couple months before selling the house!

[bisleyfan41]

One thing I want is in my will ( did one of those diy ones and really need one done by an attorney) that the place cannot be sold. There should be enough to pay for the place for a long time as taxes and personal property taxes are less than $2,000 a year combined. Timber was last cut about 20 years ago so they can always do that if more money is needed.

Honest question, why would you do that? Seems like you're chaining your future family generations to your property that they might not even want. What if they don't want to live there? Should they abandon it and let it grow over since they can never sell it? Then the state gets it...for free.

I mean, somebody will have to sell it at some point, right? If not your kids, then their kids, or their kids, or the kids after that.

What if one of your kids or grandkids developed serious health issues in the future and needed a lot of money for cancer treatments or a transplant? Unlikely, yes. But certainly possible.

This isn't meant to be personal or an attack on you. Please don't take it that way. Just trying to wrap my head around your thinking. I don't understand why you'd want to limit their options, esp since you're gone. Were I placed in this situation, I think I'd forfeit the property.

[35 Rem]

I've been retired almost a year now and downsizing is the furthest thing from my mind. Been a slave to a job for 39 years, I'll be darned if I'm going to downsize and sit around in boredom just because "it's time". :) We're trying to build a house about 40% larger than the one we've lived in all these years and move to the farm rather than live on 3 acres. Selling my stuff??? Ha! I've never sold a gun and have no intention of doing so. I've got enough farm machinery, old cars and trucks etc. on the farm that in comparison my guns don't even matter. This is the time of life I've dreamt of for years and I'm going to enjoy it.

[dverna]

I downsized when I retired. 2400 sq ft house to 1600 sq ft. Went from suburbs to 20 acres in middle of nowhere in northern MI. Love it.

Traveling is what a lot of people want to do but the $64k question is..."Can you afford it?". We cannot and it ticks off my SO. Take a month and try it. Track your expenses. It may be an unrealistic dream.

I have a nice place and will stay here until I cannot manage living here anymore. When we decided to get together, I told her I was not moving. She is free to leave when it suits her. I was upfront from the beginning. I spent a lifetime getting to this point in my life. Might seem hard hearted but so be it.

Proverbs 21:19

Good luck. A lot of older couples are splitting up because their "needs" change. Nothing wrong with compromise if you do not resent it. BTW, that works both ways.

[ascast]

what is a sweetheart? I have a lady friend ( in different state) that calls me a hermit. I have 100's acre to play/hunt on. Lots to do. I also have a mini mobile home. Maybe you should try it for a summer.