I guess I am becoming dumb and invisible

[Thumbcocker]

I retired 2 years ago. I had to wear a jacket and tie every day. Now I don't. I have bald / white hair and a grey/white beard. My choice of clothing these days is Carhart dungarees and tee shirts.

I have noticed that when I go to town or otherwise interact with the public that folks, especially younger folks, tend to look through me. Like I am not there. I have also noticed that people tend to explain things to me a lot more. Without going into a lot if details, I hold college degrees and a whole lot of life experience in a lot of areas. I haven't noticed any loss of mental ability but people seem to assume that upon passing 60 I got a lobotomy.

In September Mrs.Thumbcocker and I went to South Africa and hunted. There we were treated very respectfully by people from different races and cultures. Returning to the U.S. it was back to invisible and dumb.

Anyone else notice a difference in how you are treated as you age?

[HWooldridge]

Well, as they say - "The clothes make the man..."

I used to work for a true billionaire (i.e., he had more than 1,000,000,000 real dollars - not stocks or other volatile assets). He often came to the office dressed in jeans and an old shirt - then he would work outside on the landscaping, just to keep busy. Many visitors would come to our facility and assume he was a hired hand, and many would be very surprised when he came inside and washed his hands before sitting down in a meeting room.

And some of it may be in your mind - if you assume they are looking at you sideways, then they may be picking up on your "lower energy".

[dverna]

We are old and stupid. Get used to it. The 20 and 30 year olds have all the answers.

I was the CEO of two companies and see the same thing. I hear folks who could not run a lemonade stand pontificating about what is wrong with companies.

[Misery-Whip]

Im half your age and I see how technology has changed the ways of those who have it. I can use electronics, but struggle at times and go out and fill them with holes. Its not out of anger, i just dont like doing everything online. I think I should be able to apply for a job in person, do my taxes with a person, and check out groceries with a person.

I noticed the other day that all my friends are retired. I have more in common with the older generations, and cant stand the views of my piers and they cant come out in the woods to visit me because I dont share my wifi password. Because when I have they sit there on my couch for hours barely talking. When they talk its about their followers, tweets, their whatever that i dont take much stock in.

So when im your age, ill be moving where electronics arent, maybe Africa... Wont have much reason to stay unless I find younger friends.

[MrWolf]

Could be the impression you are giving out. I'm still 62, more salt than pepper in hair and a white beard and don't wear my business clothes either. Just carhart cargos and sweatshirt, flannel, etc. Depends on if wearing my carry vest. I look folks in the eyes. Most nod a greeting but never been looked at like not there. Could be your area and how the young folks were taught. It took me awhile to get my son to look folks in the eyes. Think it has to do with their phones and non existent social abilities.

[NSB]

I’m also a retired upper manager with a degree, and for years I wore a shirt and tie to work. Today, my “wardrobe” is a closet full of jeans (some “new ones” for good, and a lot of heavily worn ones). T-shirts and sweatshirts are the same. I notice some of what the OP says, but the fact of the matter for me is……I don’t care. I’ve lost no self confidence, still have most of the same friends (I’m losing them fast now days), and I have more than I need. It’s not all bad being able to “fly under the radar” most of the time. I never get tickets anymore, cops are really friendly. I also find that a lot of younger people are really super nice to this old geezer. The young people are just like we were, but we’re looking at them through a generation gap. Good people are still good people regardless of their age. The jerks are still jerks. I’ve actually got a lot of young friends that I shoot and hunt with. Ask yourself, would I be different than them if I were young again? Probably not.

[waksupi]

I kind of appreciate being "invisible" when I go to town. I do notice the young people at the VFW are very friendly and outgoing, unlike people you pass on the street. Although I do find that if I smile at a person, they always smile back.

[Ithaca Gunner]

Congratulations, you've attained ''grey man'' status.

[Silvercreek Farmer]

Not that old, not that shabby, and people still don’t seem to care enough to interact. Most of them didn’t seem to care when I was wearing a suit either. Maybe I don’t have enough tattoos or piercings to be cool? Or maybe they just want you to go away so they can bury their faces in their phones again?

There was an interesting point in my life when I started getting checked out by middle aged women. There might be another interesting point if I start getting checked out by seniors!

[country gent]

I have seen/noticed this also. One thing is here people are looking at what you do. A person at the top of their trade or profession commands more respect.Once you retire or become disabled then you are looked at as not as productive. In other cultures (even a lot of the Indian tribes) a persons accomplishments follow them into old age. Another reason for this is when you were working in your profession you were surrounded by your peers that knew what had been accomplished. Now surrounded by the man on the street and the younger generation they dont know you or have yet to realize what you accomplished getting to this point.

[huntinlever]

Yep, invisible. Sometime over the last 10 years I've realized that although I still thought of myself as the roaming 20-something lad "inside," the world moved on. And so did I. Nice to accept life as it is. I'm an older dude.

[fixit]

Some of it may be the way you carry yourself. I have the opposite problem....I stand out in a crowd, unless I take special measures to blend in. For my entire adult life, total strangers have seen fit to tell their life stories, as if I had the word counselor on my forehead. I don't know why this is, but at 61, I'm mostly used to it. NSB, you are right about the eye contact. Some appreciate it, others seem to have never had it! Oddly, eye contact and a smile seems to put some of the less savory types off their game...maybe it comes across as high confidence?

[popper]

We are old and stupid. Get used to it.
Nope, we ARE invisible to younger folks until they want something from us. Clothes make no difference. "I don't get no respect".

[HWooldridge]

Some of it may be the way you carry yourself. I have the opposite problem....I stand out in a crowd, unless I take special measures to blend in. For my entire adult life, total strangers have seen fit to tell their life stories, as if I had the word counselor on my forehead. I don't know why this is, but at 61, I'm mostly used to it. NSB, you are right about the eye contact. Some appreciate it, others seem to have never had it! Oddly, eye contact and a smile seems to put some of the less savory types off their game...maybe it comes across as high confidence?

That's what I meant with my comment about "energy". I never look at my cell phone while I'm out and about, so I'm constantly looking at the environment. Potential predators don't care for that profile - they want to approach people who are not focused on the here and now.

[BLAHUT]

Some of it may be the way you carry yourself. I have the opposite problem....I stand out in a crowd, unless I take special measures to blend in. For my entire adult life, total strangers have seen fit to tell their life stories, as if I had the word counselor on my forehead. I don't know why this is, but at 61, I'm mostly used to it. NSB, you are right about the eye contact. Some appreciate it, others seem to have never had it! Oddly, eye contact and a smile seems to put some of the less savory types off their game...maybe it comes across as high confidence?

Eye contact, now days by some, is taken as a threat.
YES; A smile goes a long way, Most these days the young do not receive them on any type of regularity ?
I am 73, have been looked down on for many years because I work with my hands and back, ran a propitious company of my own for many years, jeans and a T-shirt with work boots, is how I dress. Collage educated, multiple degrees, Yet; still I am looked down on, till they need something fixed, something simple, like replacing and outlet or light switch, or putting in a new light fixture, or replacing a door and frame, then I am needed and they pay dearly for my services. Still does not change their perceived image of me, JUST I DO NOT CARE, I know what I am and what I am capable of. I Just smile all the way to the bank. Years ago, I worked for a very, very rich man, people snickered when they saw him, thought he was a vagrant, He was in worn jeans and T-shirt, work boots, soiled clothes from work, I do not think I ever saw him with less than $5,000.00 or $10,000.00 in $100.00 in his pocket, they were amazed when he would walk into a meeting with big high buck bankers and high power attorneys. So just be yourself, clothes do not make the man, the one in front of you dressed like a bum, or the one dressed in expensive clothes, may or may not be what you perceive ??????

[MaryB]

They are not looking thru you, cell phone zombies do not see the world around them. You are just a colored blob standing in their way...

[MUSTANG]

Depends on where one resides/travels to. In North West Montana everywhere I go I am treated with respect (welllll maybe not walmart) and when I come into contact with the YOUTs (Youth - less than 40) they are still mostly respectful; but some bad society traits are beginning to emerge.

In the small communities 50 miles or so North of Las Vegas - I experience the same; but those areas are slowly withering as the population ages and the locally raised YOUT's are moving to other areas to make money - then retire back to the area. Those 40 and under residing there are mostly respectful of the Elders. There is a portion that are druggies, down and outs, or the Indian Communities that have been ruined by the Beneveolence and Total Control of the Federal Government.

Las Vegas - Whole Different Story. Rarely see someone less than 40 who has manners, respect, societal acceptable interaction with others - let alone their Elders. Then we have the Temporary and Permanent migrants from California who have large numbers of Pimps, Prostitutes, Drug Dealers/Users, Thugs, and.... inter midst. The Police have retrenched, 10 years ago the Strip and the Downtown areas were heavily patrolled and immediate massive response to "Problem Personalities"; that long gone now. Strangely; it's the Immigrants from the Southern Border (but legal and Illegal Aliens) who are more mostly respectful and committed to trying to make a better life.

[alfadan]

Im only 38 but exceptionally not attractive. Always been invisible but do prefer it that way. I still smile at the ladies, though they tend to eye me like a loose dog on their jogs.

[GOPHER SLAYER]

Since my hair has turned silver, I have noticed that young people have become very respectful. They call me sir and always hold the dooe open for my wife and I.

[hoodat]

Jesus sees us all, and great self esteem and pride aren't exactly the traits that he likes the most. I'll be happy if at my age, (66) I can be seen as the man that my Lord wants me to be.

Every man who lives long enough will come to the realization that he's not the man he used to be. Then, sometime after that, the really honest man will admit that he never was the man he thought he was. :razz: jdscholer

[Cosmic_Charlie]

Yep, not as many gals tripping me and beating me to the ground anymore.....

[JonB_in_Glencoe]

This is a fun topic.
.
My buddy (a vegetable farmer) says the same thing...He feels people see right through him when he has farm clothes on, so he always makes it a point to dress up to go to town.
.
Now I've been semi retired since 2003 and fully retired since since 2016 ...and I tend to dress like a farmer most days. I don't seem to notice any difference if I am dressed up or not.
.
I think it's more of a introvert-extrovert thing. I don't really care if I am ignored in public. If I feel the need to connect/communicate with someone, I confront them, whether they are seemingly ignoring me or not. Yes, I am a loud and boisterous type of fellow that people can't ignore if I demand their attention...be that good or bad. My friend, on the other hand, will wait for 'cues' for people to acknowledge his presence and if he never does get noticed, he gets all worked up about it.

[Winger Ed.]

Around here, the glassy eyed soft heads with a phone surgically imbedded in their hand pretty well stay home or are at Walmart.
Everywhere else, people of all ages are friendly, respectful, helpful, and engaging.

I'm quick to say 'hello', however;
I'm careful about asking older people how they're doing.
They can't wait to tell you (all their gross medical conditions), and ya really don't want to know.

[762 shooter]

Being invisible and having people think you are stupid is a super power.

762

[Handloader109]

Walked into one store yesterday and one this morning and was greeted nicely by multiple folks. Most of them were over 40 or so and all working, but it is nice to be seen. I'm an engineer by degree, and location manager at last position, almost always wore a tie, close to 40 years. Since retirement it is jeans and flannel or plain shirt, summer is t-shirt if hot. Don't really care if the kids see me or not, most have their head stuck up their ass looking at their phones... I still do enough of that myself, but not out in public.

Sent from my SM-S908U using Tapatalk

[fixit]

Agreed, but my invisibility is uncontrolled, and unpredictable.....I have a nasty habit of appearing next to people and scaring the bejeebers out of them!

[beezapilot]

In a Jim Harrison book, his backwoods character goes to the city and stands out like a sore thumb- his perfect disguise is green utility dungarees. Assumed to be maintenance where ever he goes. (BrownDog)
Personally, when I am going to deal face to face with customer service people - I tuck a pant leg into my sock. Makes them underestimate their enemy.

[kerplode]

I love my Carhart Camouflage...I'm happy to be invisible and I really don't give a **** what people think of me.

[gc45]

Hello Thumb. Welcome to the time in life where we feel useless but are not. Being older than you, and retired for 10 yrs now, it does get better. You worked all your life for this moment but the changes we go through can leave us wondering just what happened, but that too will pass. I spend time reloading and enjoying my guns and yes I still buy one now and then although my Wife says I don't need another. She is right of course, but that itch remains to have one I always wanted, if it's a 44 Special!

[lancem]

Interesting thoughts, here in my little part of West Texas no one dresses other than jeans and t-shirts, sometimes not changing them for weeks it seems/looks like. Though I'm 68 I'm still running a construction crew so even with clean clothes on I'm usually dirty before leaving the house. Sitting at our little country store talking to the girls I always feel everything but invisible to the tourists that stop in, I always feel like I'm getting stared at, course my West Texas damn near burnt black tan, dirty nails, and clothes may make me look like something they heard about in the city, afraid I might bite ;) And with that when I go out and about I always get the nod from the men knowing I gotta be a local, and a smile from the ladies!

[RoyEllis]

If the "invisible thing" really bothers you, go to the store & buy a slicing cucumber. Tuck said cucumber in your underwear, I promise you will get "noticed"! Of course the reaction will vary depending on whether you tuck it in the front or back.....:lol:

[Hamish]

R,

I prefer being the invisible man. I appear slow, fat, old, and as non threatening as possible. I’m even learning to smile as I size up the threat level around me.

[Hamish]

Jesus sees us all, and great self esteem and pride aren't exactly the traits that he likes the most. I'll be happy if at my age, (66) I can be seen as the man that my Lord wants me to be.

Every man who lives long enough will come to the realization that he's not the man he used to be. Then, sometime after that, the really honest man will admit that he never was the man he thought he was. :razz: jdscholer

The first 50 years, I thought I was the Hero in the movie, last few years I have been coming to understand I was a supporting player, so that others might learn from my example, both good and bad,,,,,

[M-Tecs]

That is happening everywhere in the US regardless of age or appearance. It is a product of the left and a direct result of their disdain for basic respect for others. I see it more in the cities, but it is happening in the rural areas just slower. The left wants us to accept everyone and everything, yet they have zero respect for anyone or anything.

You have become invisible to them because they don't respect you. The sad reality is that given a chance most of these types want to erase you and everyone that doesn't suffer their form of mental illness.

[ulav8r]

If the "invisible thing" really bothers you, go to the store & buy a slicing cucumber. Tuck said cucumber in your underwear, I promise you will get "noticed"! Of course the reaction will vary depending on whether you tuck it in the front or back.....:lol:

Had trouble reading that one to my wife. /after laughing a little, she put her hand over her mouth, then said something I did not understand. When I asked her to repeat it she said "I'm about to pee my pants."

[Shopdog]

Bunch of kids saw me last weekend...well,at least for a while?

Cpl 3D bow shoots,neither had the normal senior stake so I shot with guys a 1/3rd my age. Anyway they caught a glimpse of carbon fibre and a touch of gray before I left them for dead on the score card.



Heck,I have tournament bows older than some of them,haha.

[Alex_4x4]

...
Personally, when I am going to deal face to face with customer service people - I tuck a pant leg into my sock. Makes them underestimate their enemy.

That's right: pants should be tucked into socks. And also: tuck the jacket into trousers.

[rbuck351]

I am 74 and I have always worked at being invisible. Being invisible allows me to study others without them studying me.

[Wolfdog91]

Congratulations, you've attained ''grey man'' status.

Beat me to it. Blessing in disguise

[Winger Ed.]

That's right: pants should be tucked into socks. And also: tuck the jacket into trousers.

If you walk around like that on the street here- some people here will buy you lunch, pray on you, and give you a dollar or two.
Others will be afraid, and quickly cross the street.

[JimB..]

I was expecting this thread to be about riding a motorcycle.

[bedbugbilly]

I'm 70 - retired - my red hair faded a long time ago, and, like many guys, I inherited my somewhat {bare spot{ on top from my grandfather.

First . . the clothes. I disagree . . . clothes don't make the man. Like you, my normal attire is a Carhart tee shirt and jeans . . . . not like many that I see in public. I have known many, many men, whose daily attire was "casual" - WORKING MEN . . . many of them business owners. One that comes to mind was a family friend who owned a large trucking company - a multi-millionaire, and his daily attire was a denim shirt and bib overalls and workbooks. Many of the men I'm talking about were farmers, business owners and self-made men - some with college degrees and others "educated y life".

So don't sell yourself short! I think what you are experiencing has nothing to do with you, bu rather the results of the American public school educational system and a generation of parents where many were more concerned about "their needs" rather - the "instant gratification" crowd who, sadly, were pretty much handed tings by parents who wanted them to have it easier than they had it. And it didn't't get any better with "Leave no child behind" where every one was a "winner" - those who were never targht that life is a learning experience with hard knocks, disappointments and failures along the way. And it is not going to get any better because I guess it is more important to teach kids about gender, false narratives on our country and critical race theory - rather than math, science, history, reading, writing and communication skills that are necessary for a successful and productive life - nor about learning to take responsibility for your actions and the fact that "to get respect, you have to earn and give respect".

There are many good "youngsters" out there though . . . guys and gals who were brought up right . . . and they do deserve respect and recognition. Unfortunately, it is those that ween[t brought up right and those who think they know everything, but who actually are ignorant on basic life skills and knowledge . . . that seem to overshadow the good ones . . .and that's a shame.

I know exactly what you are talking about Mr. Thujbcocker, as I see and feel it often as you describe it. It's always interesting to me, when my wife and I travel back and forth between Michigan and Arizona. I have an issue with my left leg and foot so I am now forced to used a cane. A good example is when we stop at truck stop to get gas, use the rest room and get a cold drink or a snack to take a break. Many, many times, as I get to the entrance, I have had "young people" push past me in a rush to get in and let the door close right in my face or I have seen them do it to older folks who are fully mobile and in good shape. On the other hand, I have also had many young folks who are going in, stand by the entry door and wait for me to get there so they can hold the door open for me . . . those kids were taught "right" and are doing the same thing I did all my life for others like my folks taught me to do. I have to adit, it sometimes embarrasses me when someone holds the door for me - especially when it is a younger gal as I always feel like it is wrong ass I was taught to hold the door for women and let them go ahead of me. And, I always say "thank you" and usually tell them that when they see their folks the next time, please tell them what a wonderful son or daughter they raised.

Yea . . what you describe is bothersome at times. But, I have a feeling that it has been going on for many generations because I saw it going on a long time ago when I was young. Now, I just have to smile to myself and I think about how at some point in their lives, the will get their "comeuppance" as Karma is a wonderful thing. And, at some point in life, while they think they know it all and feel the need to let everyone know it, they'll realize that they can learn a lot from "older= people" and quite possibly, learn about respect and responsibility at the same time. So don't let it get you down too much. Enjoy your retirement and the time you and your wife can spend together and have fun. Like all "younger generations" through the years . . . . they'll eventually have to grow up and either "sink or swim". Live each day to the fullest and there are enough fine young people out there to make you realize that "all is not lost". :-)

[Cosmic_Charlie]

i used to go skiing in insulated Carhart bibs ( before it was a thing ). Up North here, most people wear jeans and flannel shirts, even to Church. It's always casual Friday in the boonies.

[MaryB]

Where I am in MN it is horse country, lot of cattle operations, rodeos... so jeans an a t-shirts are acceptable wear, to get fancy I will put on a nice top... people don't care how you dress. Most kids out here are still taught right. They know what the Bill of Rights is and that liberals twist it to say things that are not in it. We also have trap and rifle teams in most of the high schools.

Get the big citiot who brings there little animal kids out here when they move here for a job. Those kids often try to bully people and quickly find out that farm kid has muscles and will hurt you. If the parents last a year out here they start changing, becoming more polite....

[Swineherd]

I was expecting this thread to be about riding a motorcycle.

Lol

[WRideout]

Please write bigger!!! I am hard of seeing.

Wayne

[WRideout]

If I don't get my haircut, and trim my beard, strangers assume I am a prophet, and come over to ask the meaning of life.

Wayne

[Der Gebirgsjager]

Do you happen to know the answer? I could use some help with that myself.......! ;)

DG

[JimB..]

If I don't get my haircut, and trim my beard, strangers assume I am a prophet, and come over to ask the meaning of life.

Wayne

Best reason I’ve heard for growing a beard.

[Winger Ed.]

If I don't get my haircut, and trim my beard, strangers assume I am a prophet, and come over to ask the meaning of life.

Wayne

Look real serious and tell them, "Wet birds don't fly at night".

They won't bother you after that.

[Land Owner]

Anonymity has its privileges.

[justindad]

Jesus sees us all, and great self esteem and pride aren't exactly the traits that he likes the most. I'll be happy if at my age, (66) I can be seen as the man that my Lord wants me to be.

Every man who lives long enough will come to the realization that he's not the man he used to be. Then, sometime after that, the really honest man will admit that he never was the man he thought he was. :razz: jdscholer

Words of wisdom.