Herb in Pa
01-15-2006, 12:21 PM
Three men are sitting stiffly side by side on a long commercial
flight. After they're airborne and the plane has leveled off, the man in the
window seat abruptly says, distinctly and confidently, in a loud voice,
"Admiral, United States Navy, retired. Married, two sons, both surgeons."
After a few minutes the man in the aisle seat states
through a tight lipped smile, "Admiral, United States Coast Guard, retired.
Married, two sons, both Judges."
After some thought, the fellow in the center seat
decides to introduce himself. With a twinkle in his eye he proclaims,
"Master Chief Gunnery Sergeant, United States Marines, retired. Never
married, two sons, both Admirals.
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During training exercises, the lieutenant who was
driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud with
a red-faced colonel at the wheel. "Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the
lieutenant as he pulled alongside. "Nope," replied the colonel, coming over
and handing him the keys, "Yours is."
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Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new
colonel was sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door.
Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly
picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said into the phone,
"Yes, General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and
I'll pass along your message. In the meantime, thank you for your good
wishes, sir." Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young
enlisted man, he asked, "What do you want?" "Nothing important, sir," the
airman replied, "I'm just here to hook up your telephone."
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Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?"
Soldier: "Sure, buddy."
Officer: "That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again!
Do you have change for a dollar?"
Soldier: "No, SIR!"
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Q: How do you know if there is a fighter pilot at your party?
A: He'll tell you.
Q: What's the difference between God and fighter pilots?
A: God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot.
Q: What's the difference between a fighter pilot and a
jet engine?
A: A jet engine stops whining when the plane shuts down.
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An Air Force chief master sergeant and a general were
sitting in the barbershop. They were both just getting finished with their
shaves, when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their
faces. The general shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My wife will
think I've been in a whorehouse!"
The chief turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and
put it on me. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells
like."
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"Well," snarled the tough old Navy chief to the
bewildered seaman, "I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll
just be waiting for me to die so you can come and "pee" on my grave."
"Not me, Chief!" the seaman replied. "Once I get out of
the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again!"
flight. After they're airborne and the plane has leveled off, the man in the
window seat abruptly says, distinctly and confidently, in a loud voice,
"Admiral, United States Navy, retired. Married, two sons, both surgeons."
After a few minutes the man in the aisle seat states
through a tight lipped smile, "Admiral, United States Coast Guard, retired.
Married, two sons, both Judges."
After some thought, the fellow in the center seat
decides to introduce himself. With a twinkle in his eye he proclaims,
"Master Chief Gunnery Sergeant, United States Marines, retired. Never
married, two sons, both Admirals.
----------------------------------------------------------------
During training exercises, the lieutenant who was
driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud with
a red-faced colonel at the wheel. "Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the
lieutenant as he pulled alongside. "Nope," replied the colonel, coming over
and handing him the keys, "Yours is."
----------------------------------------------------------------
Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new
colonel was sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door.
Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly
picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said into the phone,
"Yes, General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and
I'll pass along your message. In the meantime, thank you for your good
wishes, sir." Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young
enlisted man, he asked, "What do you want?" "Nothing important, sir," the
airman replied, "I'm just here to hook up your telephone."
----------------------------------------------------------------
Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?"
Soldier: "Sure, buddy."
Officer: "That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again!
Do you have change for a dollar?"
Soldier: "No, SIR!"
----------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you know if there is a fighter pilot at your party?
A: He'll tell you.
Q: What's the difference between God and fighter pilots?
A: God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot.
Q: What's the difference between a fighter pilot and a
jet engine?
A: A jet engine stops whining when the plane shuts down.
----------------------------------------------------------------
An Air Force chief master sergeant and a general were
sitting in the barbershop. They were both just getting finished with their
shaves, when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their
faces. The general shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My wife will
think I've been in a whorehouse!"
The chief turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and
put it on me. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells
like."
----------------------------------------------------------------
"Well," snarled the tough old Navy chief to the
bewildered seaman, "I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll
just be waiting for me to die so you can come and "pee" on my grave."
"Not me, Chief!" the seaman replied. "Once I get out of
the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again!"