Possible assisted living situation - advice?

[cabezaverde]

My sister in law might have to enter assisted living or nursing care. She lives in an upscale Chicago suburb alone. No spouse, no kids. Just my wife essentially. We are about 800 miles away.

Does anyone have any experience/ideas about how to liquidate her possessions?

She has the home, which would be easy to sell once emptied.

Furniture and personal possessions. A Mercedes.

An extensive wine collection, cases and cases of $100+ per bottle stuff.

Does anyone have any experience in how to deal with situations like this? Can brokers, estate sale companies, etc. be trusted when the capable people are long distance? Wife and I could certainly go there for some period of time, but not long enough to see the whole process through.

I am looking for advice, experience, and possibly reliable resources in the Chicago area.

[contender1]

Do a little research into auction houses. Some specialize in certain things,, such as the wine etc. Others say,, firearms,, or furniture, or glassware or whatever.
Next,, ASK about their fees.
Some will charge a fee of $20% on the final sale price to the seller AND another 20% fee to the buyer. Discuss these things ahead of hiring them.
If you are seeking to get the maximum amount,, you would have to do the work yourself. But if just looking to liquidate things, then let the professionals do it.
They will advertise, research, handle & ship etc the items. Less headaches for the seller.
But to let a company who deals in furniture handle stuff that's outside of their knowledge,, usually results in a very low return.

Next,, look into an upscale winery & ask them who might want to buy a collection. Quite often,, they know people who'd love to buy such things. Just make sure the buyer agrees to take the whole lot & not "cherry pick" certain bottles.

Wine, is kinda like guns. Go to the group of people who know the product. You wouldn't want a furniture buyer to handle firearms,, and via-a-versa.

Do an internet search for wineries, & such. Ask a LOT of questions.

[Greg S]

Someone here just posted about a company that comes in and has a sale for 30% in these type of cases. Same situation.

[thegatman]

https://m.flickingerwines.com/index.aspx?AspxAutoDetectCookieSupport=1
In Chicago, Very reputable. Take an inventory first of the wines.

[RickinTN]

In Tennessee we have a support insurance called TennCare. Illinois probably has similar. I commend you for thinking the way you do about liquidating her assets to pay her bills. What if she outlives the proceeds? What will you do then? Yes, in Tennessee she would forfeit the house after the end of her life but they will cover ALL of her expenses. Sell the car and the wine as it is not attachable by the state right now.
I really do think you need advice beyond what you might get here. Please take mine with a grain of salt.
Rick

[Der Gebirgsjager]

If you care for her (have affection) then locate her in a nursing home near where you live so that you can periodically check on her living conditions and welfare. Many old people are mistreated and/or neglected in these establishments.

DG

[dverna]

If you care for her (have affection) then locate her in a nursing home near where you live so that you can periodically check on her living conditions and welfare. Many old people are mistreated and/or neglected in these establishments.

DG

Wise advice

[Baltimoreed]

When my fil passed we donated just about everything to good to mty his house will but she will need the money going into a assisted living facility. As to the wine I would talk to the managers/ owners of the upscale restaurants in Chicago to see what they would give you. If you sell to a middleman he’s got to resell to make a profit.

[.429&H110]

Here in Green Valley AZ old folks live out their golden years independently in the hot sun, then leave a pile of stuff that they can't take with them. Two doors up from me an old man died two years ago, he used his house for storage while he lived with his girlfriend. He left a '66 Fairlane in cherry condition out front, two parked Harleys, and a camping trailer. The HOA was not amused. Inside the house were three Harley frames, five engines, tool boxes, a mill, tons of spare parts to bury the furniture. His only heir lives a thousand miles away. An on-line auction showed up, two old women took a week to catalog, photograph and tag everything. When you paid for your piece you got a secret number, and picked up your purchase. For a week the place was swarmed with people, now it's empty, for sale, a sad fixer-upper (225K for 1400 sq ft? Would need 100K repairs to be livable, we get California prices here in the desert). They would not tell me their fee, didn't know much, they just worked there. How would you ever sell Harley parts at a yardsale? There would have to be an amount of trust, but what could go wrong? Vultures come to mind, but vultures have to eat, too.

[jsizemore]

Estatesales.net in the sil's location will take care of disposing of her possessions by independent auctioners or estate liquidators . You could specify a at home sale or auction or an online only auction. If they're bonded they'll be upfront with their business and will provide feedback from customers. I'm not sure if your sil would agree to move to your area. My neighbor ended up in assisted living not far from her oldest son and his work. He was subject to dropping in at anytime and would eat lunch which had wait staff to serve meals. Plenty of activities and staff control of meds. She had her own apartment with a private bath and kitchen area without the ability to cook. A good facility will have laundry service, beauty salon, various religious services and escorted shopping trips for personal items. I'd show up on weekends and was subject to doing repairs or given a shopping list. She had enough of her own personal furniture and items to make it have the feel of home. $3000/month seems steep but was far cheaper than around the clock care at home.

This should give you a place to get started:

https://www.estatesales.net/companies/IL/Chicago

And you could ask her or her neighbors.

[elmacgyver0]

My dad when he was still with us, had a saying.
"It's hell to get old."

[chambers]

Have gone through exactly what you are going through. Moved father in law and mother in law into assisted living( about 2 years ago). Wife( power of attorney) instructed to sell all assets. Would consult and estate attorney about assets if no estate was set up or all assets( money) may have to pay for her assisted living/nursing home and exhaust all money before state kicks in with 5 year look back. Sell what you can on your own to save fees( up to 30% by some) using facebook/craigslist.

[Handloader109]

Agree with Chambers. I dealt with my aunt a bit over a decade ago, she had survived her husband and we sold and gave away pretty much everything, then sold the house as she went in nursing home. She had funds for about a year, (housing in MS was cheap at the time) once she got down to $2k, she could get medicaid to pay for the care. At the time, she could have kept one vehicle, which made zero sense as she, as well as most in any assisted living, can't drive.

I would find a reputable company, go meet with them and her, and get her moved out and into a place close to you before they do the sale. That way she's not upset with it happening around her. And she has everything she wants and needs out.

Then sell home, use all proceeds and any savings of any sort to pay for her care. If there are other properties, they would need to be sold prior to any government assistance.
Don't try to hide anything of consequence, there is a look back and they look at all properties, bank and savings accounts.

Sent from my SM-G892A using Tapatalk

[rockrat]

Make sure you use due dilligence in finding a place of care for her. They can range from poor to fairly decent. Expect to pay $$$ for a good place

[Mk42gunner]

I'm going through some of the same things with Mom; except she went from living alone to me living with her to a nursing home.

If there is the slightest chance she will end up on Medicaid, that five year lookback on finances and real property is a PITA.

Robert

[MaryB]

Option is offer the house furnished with the big items... appliances, maybe some of the furniture like a dining room table and chairs... to a first time home buyer it gives them all the basics included in the house price. No worries about having to find extra $$ to buy them. Whatever they don't want with the house goes to an auction company to sell. Build in 2-4 weeks to clear out what the new owners don't want.

[Half Dog]

I went through a similar situation. My advice is to donate the unwanted items. I spoke with estate sales people and I just got upset. Their offers were offensive so I donated the items and felt much better.

[higgins]

Before anyone goes into her house to evaluate things, or for any other purpose for that matter, get anything of value out of her house that is small and easily stolen and converted to cash. Obviously cash and jewelry, but also checks, papers pertaining to bank accounts, investments, social security, life insurance any anything else that could be used for identity theft or other fraudulant uses. It would be a good idea to get things out of her house before she goes into assisted living. Even if she tells you not to, do it anyway. Even reputable people can unknowingly have thieves working for them; anyone from their business partner to the guys that move furniture around. People who may be caregivers are not to be trusted either. Sadly, that's the world we now live in.

[Idaho45guy]

I tried to talk to my dad about assisted living the other day, or even just moving to town. He can barely get around and I have to make a 30 mile round trip to dump his garbage and get his mail every week.

He said he would blow his brains out before he ever moved to town. Great.

Should be within the year, I reckon, based on how fast he is deteriorating. I'm an only child and he hasn't spoken to his brother or sister in years, so I will be the one dealing with everything.

[ulav8r]

Don't know if it is Arkansas only or federal, but as of mid 2021, someone going on Medicaid is allowed to keep their home and one vehicle. My mom went into the nursing home in September. We paid her nursing home bill thru November. Our Elder Law office filed for Medicaid starting Dec. 1. From Sept. thru November we used Mom's savings to replace the roof, flooring, AC,s, and had the driveway graded and graveled. Also had a new metal roof put on the workshop and had her car repaired. To qualify for Medicaid, her money on hand had to be below $2000. The title on her home and car was reworked to have my sister and myself named as beneficiary owners so that when Mom dies we will receive them and Medicare will have received all of her SS and gas well income while she was in the nursing home. The gas well income after her death will also come to us.

[Cosmic_Charlie]

In Minnesota you can look up care homes on the state's health department website and see a history of complaints and citations they have received.

[MT Gianni]

Check around with nursing homes/assisted living. Friend moved his parents from Idaho to Utah. They had kids in both places but the average extended care place was $1500 a month less. Both were cheaper than MT is.

[thxmrgarand]

I am not an expert at all but I do have some anecdotal experiences. There is only one nursing home near where I live. Last I checked it cost $20,000 a month, but I would expect that by now it's 25 or even 50 percent more. So most people going in have their financial net worth wiped out in just two to five years. (Costs are lower in other states but can be shockingly high if you haven't looked in on them for a few years or two (and the inflation from Bidenomics will almost certainly soon add to costs)). Then Medicaid takes over. Since that is the story nationwide, and Medicaid is funded by taxpayers, the look-back in federal law seems to grow longer and longer; not sure what it is right now. Therefore, selling assets belonging to a person who may go on Medicaid in a few years has potential legalities that can be serious so far as both criminal and financial liability. Real estate transactions can be especially transparent. Clearly, if someone wants to hide assets from this look-back they have to do some real planning years in advance. Life is finite and happy endings are quite rare. No one is happy going into a nursing home, but if you have always wanted a new Corvette and a 25-year old girlfriend........

[ulav8r]

Current lookback is 5 years. Monthly cost locally is almost $5500.

[ksfowler166]

I can't help with the estate planning part but I have worked in an aging in place assisted living facility for ten years. In addition my mom has worked as a hospice nurse for around 27 years. So if you have any question about those aspects I will help if I can.