Saying Goodbye to the Best Father I Could Ask For

[David2011]

It’s been a hard year for our family. I posted back in May the loss of my younger brother. Now we’re losing a father and husband.

Mom’s father was a pipeline welder and they moved frequently. Dad saw her checking into the high school he attended and decided at that moment that she was the one that he would marry. He always told her that he loved her first. A couple of years later they were married and almost a year after that I entered the world followed by my brother and our sister.

Mom couldn’t have asked for a better husband. His mission in life was to provide for her and us and keep us safe. In 68 years of marriage he never raised his voice or spoke in an ugly manner to her. He was firm but loving with the three of us. We were fortunate. We never needed for food, clothing, shelter or love. If we wanted something special for extracurricular activities it was provided. They got me a trumpet that I still play and my brother got a tenor sax which he kept all his life. They gave us all a starter car when it came time for us to drive. He and my mother are responsible for raising three children that I think all turned out pretty well. He was kind and soft spoken. He taught us how to safely handle firearms, fish, respect the land, our country and God. We learned how to be men and our sister to be a lady.

Dad’s lungs have given out and later today he will be taken off of oxygen. It’s a heart wrenching decision but given the realities of his medical condition we don’t see another option. He will not get better after two bouts of pneumonia as a child and pulmonary fibrosis now, along with a recurrence of pneumonia. All I ask is that God takes him gently and reunites him with those that left before.

[Dieselhorses]

Man I'm so sorry. Sometimes you just don't know what to say to someone who is about to say goodbye to such a good father, husband and man. But I will say this, There's a special place in Heaven for folks like this. No more suffering, no more pain or anguish. His heavenly home will be lit by the light of God-never to see darkness. I wasn't there to see my father go because were in between visits to a far off hospital where he stayed for a couple of months (was only 58). Was there to see mama go and you could see the reflection of Jesus standing on the banks of the Jordan river in her eyes as she took her last breath, but smiling as she did so. But I'm gonna pray for you brother because I do know the pain we feel when losing a loved one. And I pray it's peaceful for your father to cross over. I'm here as well as the many other fellows on this forum who understand if you wanna talk! God bless you and the family.

[XDROB]

I'm so sorry to hear this. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. I had to go through the same thing with my older sister. She died of a very aggressive cancer. My wife and I where alongside my brother in law when they turned off the equipment keeping her body going. She had already risen to heaven. There is not a day goes by that I don't think of her.

Let him go to a better place and have great memories of him.

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[Markopolo]

ahhh David.. dont know what to say. except, you will see him again!! Prayers sent!

[contender1]

First off,,, you & your family have my deepest & sincerest sympathies. I truly understand.

My Dad was a tough bird,, and it wasn't until I matured that I understood so much about him. He was a young teen during the depression, and had a tough time. As such,, we were taught some excellent life lessons. My siblings all turned out good as well. As I matured,, I truly began to understand so much about him & how he raised us. And, while many feel the Mother in the family is the foundation,, in our family, I find myself truly missing my Dad over my mother. Not that my mom was bad or anything,, it's just that my Dad was a better teacher & understood life's lessons. He, as well as 3 of his brothers served in WWII, and as such, my brother & I both are also Vets. Our sister married a career Marine, & their son retired from the AF.
We all have come to realize how much our Dad meant to us.

So, today,, as your Dad ascends to Heaven,, by your testimony,, I'm sure he'll be welcomed with open arms & gain his wings.

[Acorn]

Sorry for the loss of your brother and your fathers troubles.
I'll say a prayer for you all.

[GhostHawk]

It could be worse. I watched my father, much like yours, and a pillar of his community and church slide into dementia and lived with it for 5 years.

Be thankful for your blessings. Our prayers lifted for you and your family.

A hard choice perhaps but a good one IMO.

[Finster101]

I'm very sorry to hear what you are going through. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and wish for the best. It's tough losing a Dad.

[r80rt]

I'm so sorry, I know how you must feel. God bless you and yours.

[memtb]

I certainly have empathy for you and your family. I lost my father 4 years ago, and it still hurts. My greatest pain is not spending much time with him the last years of his life.....moving almost 2000 miles away cost me many hours with him!

May your father RIP, and wishing you and your family the strength to get through this! memtb

[MrWolf]

A great Father is a true blessing. You have been extremely lucky and thankfully you know it. As said, you will see him again someday. Prayers for you and your family.

[cwtebay]

Praying for you and your family.
You've been blessed by this wonderful person in your life!!!

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[blackthorn]

There are no words to express our true sympathy for you and yours. God bless your house and all in it!

[bayjoe]

Sorry to hear of you having heart ache
Just look at how fortunate you are to have such a loving family

[lightman]

I'm truly sorry to hear this. You and your Family will be in our prayers. I watched my Dad slowly die from Leukemia. Mom and I were both in the hospital room with him when he breathed his last breath. I don't think he knew we were there but I hope he did.

[imashooter2]

I have made that same decision and it brings a tear to my eye even now. My deepest sympathies and prayers to you, and all that loved him.

[Shopdog]

Condolences

[slim1836]

Having lost my father and sister to cancer, i can relate somewhat. Prayers to you and your family as you go through these trying times. Stay strong for those that need you.

Slim

[white eagle]

That is so very hard
I am sorry to hear that about your father
condolences and gods speed

[pworley1]

There is no substitute for a good father. I was blessed to have one. My prayers are with you all.

[David2011]

All of the kind responses are greatly appreciated and comforting. Unfortunately the hospice company is moving slower than cold boolit lube. All they did today was evaluate Dad and it could be as long as Monday before the hospice doctor might see him and give orders to discontinue the oxygen. That’s torturous for Mom, Dad and all of us.

[contender1]

Maybe God will make the decision quicker & very peaceful. Prayers continue.

[Texas by God]

Praying for you and yours, David. A sweet tribute to your dad, sir.

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[bedbugbilly]

David - your Mom and Dad were a special gift from God and most of all, you, your brother and sister were provided with the opportunity to see and experience true love, commitment and devotion along with memories that will carry you all through this difficult time. I lost my Dad 26 years ago and then my Mom 10 years later and while I miss them everyday, I also know they are with me and watching over me each day until it is my tome to be reunited with them.

It is truly one of the most difficult times when a person has to say goodbye to one that they love, but I hope that you all are able to find some comfort in the good memories you all have and in the knowledge that you honor him each and every day in the way you love your life as a result of his love foe you, the lessons he taught you all and the love and devotion he had for you, clearly shown by the way he lived his life.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family and may God's blessings be with you and comfort you.

[David2011]

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. The respiratory therapist cut his oxygen back this afternoon and he was gone, very peacefully, in about 3-1/2 hours. My mother and I were with him. I’ll be okay eventually but how does someone pick up the pieces after 68 years of marriage?

[abunaitoo]

So very sorry for your loss.
Just lost my Mother a few weeks back.
I was her caregiver.
I am sure they are in a much better place.
It's us left behind that need friends and family right now.

[WRideout]

When my mother was in hospice care, my brother called to tell me she was gone. My first thought was that someone should call mom and tell her.

A father like yours is an incredible gift from God. His legacy will last for generations. God will comfort you in your grief.

Wayne

[richhodg66]

"how does someone pick up the pieces after 68 years of marriage?"

On old friend from church passed a few years ago from pacreatic cancer, similar circumstances, good man who worked hard his whole life almost up until the end. I went up to his wife of 65+ years at his funeral to offer condolences and it was strange how easy she seemed to be taking it. There was no doubt that she adored him ever, but I kinda felt like it was something she was prepared for and it was the natural order of things. She made it a few more years.

I just went and saw my Dad yesterday, mom passed about three years ago after 58 years of marriage (my dad is several years younger than she) and he seems to be holding up OK. Lives in a pretty good assisted living place and has friends there. I think a lot of it has to do with the individual personality of the person and very much what kind of support base they have around them.

I'm really sorry for your loss. Your dad sounds like a great guy.

[David2011]

If you ever wonder what good it does to respond to discussions like this, the impact can be monumental. After we got back to the house last night I showed this to Mom. She was incredibly touched and comforted by your comments. In a time like this, it does make a difference in someone’s life.

You are one and all the best! Thank you!

[lightman]

I'm sorry for your loss. Read assured that he is in a better place.

[John Wayne]

I'm sorry, I know it's brutal. We are pulling and praying for you, your Mom and your family.
JW

[Hickok]

My sincere condolences to you and the family, may the God Lord comfort and sustain you through this loss.

[bedbugbilly]

David - Our sincere condolences to you and your family over the loss of your beloved father. Our thoughts and prayers are with you all.

It isn't an easy timer any of you and no matter if you know it is coming or not, you can never fully prepare. All you can do is to be there for each other. When I lost my Dad, it was after an extended illness and during the last six weeks, I only went home to shower and get clean clothes and then go back. I sat up with him during the nights and when I could finally get him settled down and to sleep, I slept on the floor or in a chair so I could hopefully allow my mother to get some sleep in another room. As hard as it was, I would not trade one second of the time I was with him for all the riches in the world. We had an excellent hospice nurse coming in and I sometimes felt like it was only because of her that I was able to get through the whole ordeal. She was a blessing and there were many times she would talk with me privately to get me through it all as I was the primary caregiver as far as medications, giving shots, etc.

I saw and witnessed things while taking care of my Dad that left me with no doubt that there is a better life after this one. We all know, but sometimes choose to not want to think about the cycle of life. Just as birth is the beginning, death is the final chapter that we all will face someday. My Dad voiced that he did not want to leave because of all of us (his family), but we assured him that we would be fine until the day came it was our time to join him - one of the hardest things I have ever had to tell anyone. He knew that his time was limited and he faced it with dignity - the same way he lived his life - and I have no doubt that your father was the same way.

Your folks enjoyed a good long life together that was blessed with love, devotion and a wonderful family. Your Mother will be worrying about her children and you children will be worrying about her - but the love you all had for your Father and for each other will get you through this difficult time. After Dad died, I once asked my Mother how she was able to get through each day - after Dad died, it was discovered that she had a major aortic aneurysm and as the result of the surgery to correct it, she became paraplegic. She never hesitated a moment in answering me as she leaned over and laid her hand on the Bible she kept on her desk - the same one she had received years prior as a child in Sunday School. Her answer was simple - "My Faith".

May God's Blessings be with all of you and your family and may the love you all had for your terrific Father and each other help you through this difficult time. You Father lives on in each in every one of you - your wonderful Mother, you and your sister and any grandchildren - and that's a beautiful thing.

[JohnnyEnfield]

David2011, I can appreciate your heartache. My Dad was my best friend and I miss him every day. From your post it is obvious he was a great father and husband and did the best he could. You have been blessed. The greatest thing you can do is honor him by doing your best too. God bless you and your family during this very difficult time. Thank you for sharing your amazing father with us.

[Alstep]

This is very hard for me to respond to, but I feel I must. I lost my father when I was a teenager. That was 60+ years ago, and it still hurts when I think about it. He suffered for 3 years before he passed. I have to admire my mother, who cared for him and still maintain the household. It was just the two of us, no other relatives. No hospice or outside help. You're so lucky to have had your father for so long, to do things with him, spend good times with him. I'm sure he's proud to have you for a son. May the Good Lord give you & your family the courage to get through this.

[clum553946]

What a touching tribute to your father! Our condolences to you and your family.

[David2011]

I hope that all of you understand how comforting these responses have been to my family and me. Almost all of Dad's friends and former co-workers have already passed on and I wanted to make a tribute to him. Your responses have made it complete. Mom was amazed at how you responded for a man you never met. I will do my best to be as good as he was. That is the best way I can think of to honor him.

[Three44s]

God bless your father and all the people he touched! May He Rest In Peace!

Sorry for your loss! People like your father are the salt of the earth and back bone of this nation. The folks coming in to replace those we are losing have been so short changed in so many ways that I also grieve for our nation.

Three44s

[atr]

David,
I lost my Dad in March of this year, 6 years to the day Mom passed, so I know how you feel.
May your Dad rest in Peace.
atr

[shooterg]

I was about your age(68) when Pops passed at 93 . Just because you've had 'em around that long doesn't make it easier when they go. Just remember all the special times you had with him, the world seems a lot smaller for a while . God bless you and your Mom.

[buckwheatpaul]

David what a tribute you have for your dad. I am sorry for you all having to make that decision but it is one that has to be made. I am praying for comfort and freedom from pain for your dad and for comfort and healing for your mom, your family, and your friends.

[Pine Baron]

My sincere condolences on the passing of your father. May God grant your mother His peace and comfort, also to the family.

[David2011]

Repeating myself, it is hard to convey how comforting your comments are. Thank you all!