Feeling Weak

[Kevinakaq]

Never posted anything non firearm or knife related here before but this morning I awoke to discover my best girl of 15 years had passed. A fine Jack Russel and the best companion I could have wished for. I had named her Bella as I always wanted a daughter named as such which never came. She saved me at one time in my life after a particular devastating divorce. Combined with this is the one year anniversary of my fathers passing whom I idolized, and the date was already carrying a significant toll, is no small addition which I can say with zero embellishment. Father and I was the pair of four brothers who “walked the trails together” as he put it when he was with me. I can barely type this, and seldom expose myself, but admittedly I am struggling. The older I get...well i am sure most of you guys get that introduction without me adding to it. Anyway, not asking for anything, just typing as there is no one close to hear. My mother always felt I would be a minister, but my logic defeats and I never found my way...days like this I wish I could find faith but I cannot embrace that which I don’t feel. Anyway gents there is nothing I ask for, just an ear and a new sunrise.

[Der Gebirgsjager]

I am sorry to hear of the loss of your canine companion, and past losses. May God bless and comfort you. Only the passage of time will ease things a little. If you need someone to talk to, please feel free to contact me via PM or e-mail. There are probably others here better suited than I, several are pastors.

[poppy42]

I’m terribly sorry for your loss. I truly know how you’re feeling I lost my Kimmy very suddenly for no apparent reason , it’ll be two years in March. I still think of her, miss her every day!
Take care my friend.
Poppy42

[elmacgyver0]

I am sorry for your loss.

[Joe504]

Hey Kevin, only time will heal the loss, but fellowship helps.

What was Bella like? I'm sure she was a character to have been with you that long. What's your favorite story about her that you can tell us?

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[curdog]

I am sorry for your loss. A good dog is the best friend you can have.......................Curdog

[brstevns]

I am praying for you. I know your heart is breaking. I believe the Good Lord is holding him in his lap and telling him your Father will find you here.

[Kevinakaq]

Hey Kevin, only time will heal the loss, but fellowship helps.

What was Bella like? I'm sure she was a character to have been with you that long. What's your favorite story about her that you can tell us?

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I wen’t through the pics (hundreds) of our years together earlier today as I cried like a baby, lol, and found one of my best memories I feared was lost. A video of her playing with my cat Kiki (my ex was Japanese) when we lived in Tampa. I had gotten Kiki from my brother to keep Bella company during my long work hours. She needed company and was depressed when alone. They would play for hours, and Kiki had a gentle nature compared to Bella’s that was exponentially hyper, which was a blessing as I am am exceptionally strong willed personality. Her hyper personality was that which forced me to get up each day after my divorce. She would not settle for anything else, a blessing. Kiki would allow Bella to pull her around by her hind quarter with no complainants. Will try to upload the vid. Thank you my friend for asking.

[Shawlerbrook]

Sorry for your loss. Although Bella is gone , the memories will last a lifetime. Take some time and then think about getting a new companion.

[AlHunt]

I'm sorry for your loss. We know when we start with a dog that they're only with us for so long. But somehow, we do it any way.

I've shed many, many more tears for dogs than people so I think I understand what you're feeling.

Time is the only salve.

[Kevinakaq]

here is a link to the video...it is large but precious to me...they had knocked over the lamp before I started taking the video...this was from 2011. Funny I just noticed the movie “open range” was playing in background, one of my favorites...
https://www.dropbox.com/s/or0jeci9nnzgkco/IMG_0164.MOV?dl=0

This picture is great, when i would come home each evening me, Bella, and Kiki would spend hours in the garden working or just enjoying the Florida sunset. You can see Kiki joining us in second pic. A fine memory.
271433271435

[dangitgriff]

Hey, Kevin—sorry for your losses. Things will get better with each new sunrise, though you’ll never seem to fill the empty place in your heart.
Lost my dad to heart/kidney failure in January 2003, I was not near home at the time, arriving just a couple of hours after he passed. Devastated, I drove all over east Alachua county to inform his friends. The stop in Orange Heights was the hardest, he had friends there that went all the way back to the middle of the 1950’s.
I swear I can feel his presence sometimes, riding along with me in my truck, hitting all his favorite dirt roads, Earleton not the least.
Take care, my friend.
—Griff

[Kevinakaq]

Hey, Kevin—sorry for your losses. Things will get better with each new sunrise, though you’ll never seem to fill the empty place in your heart.
Lost my dad to heart/kidney failure in January 2003, I was not near home at the time, arriving just a couple of hours after he passed. Devastated, I drove all over east Alachua county to inform his friends. The stop in Orange Heights was the hardest, he had friends there that went all the way back to the middle of the 1950’s.
I swear I can feel his presence sometimes, riding along with me in my truck, hitting all his favorite dirt roads, Earleton not the least.
Take care, my friend.
—Griff

Our first home in Florida was in Earleton my friend when my family moved from KY to FL in 1971...I was the only one of the lot born in FL in 72...we have travelled the same roads...

I go back to KY often for business the last year and is very difficult to say the least to see the hilltops where he hunted as a child till death...as if he waves to me from there...

Florida, Alachua and Marion county, are home for me, and I lone to return there soon especially at times like these I ask how I travelled so far way from the swamps and moss...

[dangitgriff]

I, too have traveled far and wide across the world...but my heart and soul will forever belong in Campville/Orange Heights/Earleton/Melrose/Keystone and the entire US 301 corridor from Starke to Ocala. Man, did we have some good times back in the 1980’s, or what? [emoji1783]

[Kevinakaq]

We did indeed and well met my friend. If i end up in Lochloosa this christmas deep in the swamp hunting a deer I will be a happy man...has been two years since I made it home as I had father here last xmas in Iowa helping him along his way and could not make it back.

I spent most of my life in Ocala, and more specifically if you know Sparr, Citra, Ft. McCoy....grew up along edge of Ocala National forest and the better for it! Have lived all over US and a few countries such as Japan and Philippines. God bless the USA!

[Kevinakaq]

I will not say you can’t imagine my friends, but that I could have not imagine the comfort I have found through these posts tonight. My thanks and please imagine the sincerity behind such words. Pals...

[Parson]

I spent most of my life in Ocala,

Was stationed MCRD 1962 with a guy from Ocala. We were in electrics school, then he got picked for flight school, we agreed to keep in touch but lost track. Now can’t even remember his name, old age is the pits

[Kevinakaq]

I'm sorry for your loss. We know when we start with a dog that they're only with us for so long. But somehow, we do it any way.

I've shed many, many more tears for dogs than people so I think I understand what you're feeling.

Time is the only salve.

Thank you, I have been dreading this day for many years, though she had problems I did not expect this as imminent. She was found this morning outside the doggie door at peace...wish I would have been next to her to give her comfort. With father I did not stray last few days and weeks....he passed in my arms while a young lady played/sang how great thou art for us. Dad played bluegrass and religious music all his life. I dream of Bella and him waiting for me along with all the others we loose as we age.

I do apologize for my sentimental ramblings but can unabashedly say I am a broken man tonight. Am a strong man and will stand up again soon, but it will not be tonight.

[bikerbeans]

Kevin,

Sorry you lost your friend. My best friend is a 12 1/2 year old Shorty Jack named Bandit. I really do hope I pass before he does, can't imagine life without him.

BB

[Rcmaveric]

Passing of pets hits hard. Special the ones we emotionally relied on. Hits hardest when its unexpected. Reminds you how short and fleeting life really is. Here today and gone tomorrow.

We all in this together. Nothing wrong with reaching out or talking. Keep your head up and God bless. If you need us we are here.

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[MrWolf]

Never be ashamed of shedding tears for a companion. I will cry like a baby when Ruger passes. He is my puppy in my avatar. Best friend during my divorce also. I am very sorry for your loss but know that you loved and were loved by Bella. They never truly leave us nor do those that pass. I swear my Mom is still around at times and she passed eleven years ago. I trust in the belief that I will be reunited with those I have lost and my dogs and I will be together again. Best of luck.
Ron

[rockrat]

Heartfelt sorry for your loss. Many here understand what you are going thru, as we have been in your shoes. Just understand that your Bella will live forever in your heart.
Its been 42 years since my canine friend from my youth passed and I still miss that rascal.