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PatMarlin
12-25-2005, 07:01 PM
2005 Darwin Awards


1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company, expecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space.
Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.
The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6 A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15.
(If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

Frank46
12-26-2005, 03:21 AM
Pat, here's one for you. A man walked into a gunshop here in loosiana and held it up. He handed over abrown paper bag and said put the pistols in the bag. Which was done. Halfway across the street the bag broke and all the pistols ended up on the asphalt. Said theif beat feet and the gunshop owner collected all the stolen pistols. God must love dumb people as there plenty of them out there. Frank

Poygan
12-26-2005, 09:15 AM
Pat, here's another one for you: man in our area, armed with a knife, broke into a home and was confronted by the armed homeowner. He decided to leave. Being made of sterner stuff, he tried it again at another home. Again, had the misfortune to encounter an armed homeowner. This time he must have decided to perserere and threatened the owner with his knife. He was shot for his trouble.

versifier
12-26-2005, 06:21 PM
The website is www.darwinawards.com - plan on getting lost there for some serious entertainment!

PatMarlin
12-26-2005, 10:20 PM
God must love dumb people as there plenty of them out there. Frank


Ain't that the truth.. :roll: ..... :mrgreen:

six_gun
12-27-2005, 11:19 AM
This happened in our town a few years ago.

A man walked into a convience store and tried to buy some beer. The clerk, a very pretty young woman, told him she needed his drivers licence for ID because he didn't look old enough. Sure enough he wasn't so she told him he couldn' buy the beer. He got mad and pulled a sawed off shotgun and shot at her, hitting her in the arm and shoulder, with about a quarter or the pattern. The other three quarters hit a fire extinguisher, right behind her. It blew up and in the confusion, the robber grabbed the beer and fled the store.

The police came and picked up the robber's drivers license off the counter, where he left it, and drove to his house and arrested him.

He was convicted and sent to prison, the same prison where the pretty young store clerk's husband is living, for killing a guy who insulted his wife.

Sixgun

Dutch4122
12-27-2005, 11:41 AM
He was convicted and sent to prison, the same prison where the pretty young store clerk's husband is living, for killing a guy who insulted his wife.

Sixgun

And I thought I had the worst luck! Wonder if he's still breathing?

The Nyack Kid
01-01-2006, 11:46 PM
:holysheep Hey i made it all the way though 2005 without ending up on the list [smilie=w: [smilie=w:

versifier
01-02-2006, 04:16 AM
Dutch,
If he's still breathing, I bet he's walking funny.

Dutch4122
01-02-2006, 05:46 AM
Dutch,
If he's still breathing, I bet he's walking funny.

ROTFLMAO! :):):):):):)