When are you done?

[sawinredneck]

Preface: I know this isn’t a popular topic, I’ve heard this that and the other from the Christian community, believe me! I am NOT asking for justification for anything here, I’m not asking anyone to understand my situation, but through what I’ve been, there is a quote from the old show “Night court” that sure seems to ring true. “Beyond a mans limits is no place God wants a man to be alone.” That gains some perspective.
I have a wonderful wife. We’ve had a miserable marriage! We were both idiots, youth, and have managed to keep it together. July will be 25yrs, I’ll not badmouth her, she should have left me years ago, and I had my opportunity to walk away but chose to tuff it out and try to fix things. It hasn’t been easy for either of us, but here we are.
We have a 13yo son, he’s managed to help keep my depression in check, he really centered me and gave me “purpose”, to a point.
I’ve dealt with and fought depression my entire life, seen more shrinks than I have fingers and toes, started when I was in fifth grade. It wasn’t until my wife intentionally tried to ruin our marriage that I finally got serious and answered things honestly that the depression was diagnosed. Now, please don’t put any of this on her, I wasn’t a pleasant person to deal with and she didn’t have the heart (really, she’s a good person) to feel anymore or try to walk away anymore, so she did what she thought would completely destroy the marriage. As I was far from perfect, she wasn’t prepared for me to try and salvage things. Yes, she’s really that good of a woman.
So then I broke my back, going on nine years now. I’ve tried more drugs than I care to name. After a year, and three overdoses, I came off of Fentynal cold turkey, good times. But it was literally making me crazier than I already was, hard to do!
But I live in chronic pain daily, I had to buy a wheelchair to go to Disneyland. I scream, from pain, in my sleep. My depression has come to depths that I’ve calculated the speed and angle to run into the moving train to assure the most successful odds of negative survival. I do good to get four hours of sleep a night, most nights it’s less. Weather changes I can be up for three, sometimes longer, days without sleep.
I’ve been fired by four chiropractors, an acupuncturist and a kenesioligist. I’ve tried everything. I went through, with much disagreement, physical therapy and she flat told me she couldn’t fix me but could “make my life more tolerable”.
I’ve got days I feel great and want to build a house. I’ve got days I have to crawl out of bed, crawl to the bathroom, then claw my way back into bed.
They’ve messed with my meds so much that I’m useless for three days during these changes. My wife has to take off work to get our son to school and I have to have my parents pick him up from school.
I spent 4 1/2yrs fighting for disability, to be denied because I made an effort to participate in my sons activities while I can still walk. I was told that little amount of time would be better used working by the judge.
I’m tired, I’m tired of being tired, I’m tired of hurting, I’m tired of going to bed hurting just to know I’m going to get up and hurt again tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that, and so on. I’m tired of screaming from pain in my sleep and making my wife have to sleep on the sofa. I’m tired of hearing there’s nothing they can do for me.
I’m tired. So when can I fire the guy driving the railroad spike in my spine with a sledgehammer?
Seriously, how much can God expect one person to take? They say God never gives you more than you can take. I disagree, I’m done.

[Rcmaveric]

Life is about making the best of the hand that you are delt. Your were delt a horrible hand to which i can never fully understand the level of pain and agony. Happiness and peace is not found. Its made by excepting that which you cannot change. Stay strong. Your wife and kids love you obviously love you and need you. She is still there is she not? My neighbor just got the back implants and i have a few friends that broke their backs that have the back implants. Never quit and never give up.

One night I dreamed a dream.
As I was walking along the beach with my Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
One belonging to me and one to my Lord.

After the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that at many times along the path of my life,
especially at the very lowest and saddest times,
there was only one set of footprints.

This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it.
"Lord, you said once I decided to follow you,
You'd walk with me all the way.
But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me."

He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you
Never, ever, during your trials and testings.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried you."

As we speak my wifes spine is slowly deteriating. She degenerative disk disease multiple broke and leaking disk and tumors growing inside the disk that are broken. They keep changing the amount of time she has before she is permentantly paralyzed and tell us its only a matter of time. One wrong accident or oops and her spine will be severed. Everyone refuses to operate on her and my deployment was canceled to stay home for her. I have to reapply to extend for another 12 months to care for her, but its the last time I can. If they don't fix her or operate on her soon I will have to deploy and she will be stuck at home alone. She has a wheel chairs and walkers and one doctor almost killed her with her amount of pain meds she was on. There are times when she gets temporally paralyzed and we spend 2 days in the hospital. We made our peace and find ways to spend time together. She says her dream is go hunting with me once.

[sawinredneck]

Rcmaveric, thank you for the perspective. I really feel like a whiny little girl sometimes.

[Thundarstick]

First, I don't know the answer for you. I can tell you I feel for your wife, because my wife is pretty much you. I can also tell you that unless you are willing, I mean truly willing to be brutally honest with yourself nothing is going to change. Only God and you can change you, and he ain't going to do it without your cooperation! Despite what's going on with your body you can be a better person, there is a way. What keeps her going? Pity, faith, some support group(I have one)? What keeps you going? My wife is on medication that I have to keep in my gun safe and only get it out a day at a time to keep her from overdosing. I have had to take over her meds completely because so many of them mess with her mind and she is on the mind altering drugs because she will not face herself. God bless you both, it's tough for everyone i assure you.

[GhostHawk]

Saw, are you stuck?

Is the Lord asking something that you won't/can't do?

Have you asked him for the answer?
Did he answer you but it was not what you were looking for?

I was a stubborn SOB for 40 years. I'll have no shepherd I said, I'll be the goat who walks alone.
No green pastures for me, I prefer the rocky steeps. No still waters, I like the rushing torrents.
And for 40 years while I believed in the Lord I did no work for him. I did not listen, I stopped up my ears. Eventually he found a way to reach even me.

I think he is trying to show you, teach you something.
And I think you are being stubborn.
And if I'm off base fine, I'll go away and not darken your door again.

What I do know, is that once I truly accepted the Lord. Begged to be forgiven, washed clean. Confessed all my sins, is that peace like a river descended on me.

When I did wrong that peace went away.
When I turned from his path that peace went away.
When I was selfish, when I did not think of others I suffered.

When I threw myself on my knees and begged for forgiveness, the peace came back.

The Lord has a LOT of experience dealing with stiff necked stubborn people.


My advice, surrender to the Lord. Lay all your burdens at his feet. And LISTEN.
Don't prejudge, don't say it is not possible. Say "But how can I do this Lord?"

Love you, and I know HE loves you also.

[Mtnfolk75]

sawinredneck,

I have Good and Bad days as well, not anywhere near what you are going through. Prayers are up for your mental & physical well being, I hope you can come to terms and get some relief.

Mtnfolk75

[StolzerandSons]

I'm sorry you are suffering with chronic pain BUT I'm frankly confused by your posts. In this thread you are saying you were denied disability because of your limited activity with your child but in this other thread: http://castboolits.gunloads.com/showthread.php?356131-In-need-of-a-structural-engineer
You are talking about lifting engines and law mowers and such...all of these activities require physical action which would seem to be counter to your injuries/pain and the possibility of getting disability in the future.

[lefty o]

Preface: I know this isn’t a popular topic, I’ve heard this that and the other from the Christian community, believe me! I am NOT asking for justification for anything here, I’m not asking anyone to understand my situation, but through what I’ve been, there is a quote from the old show “Night court” that sure seems to ring true. “Beyond a mans limits is no place God wants a man to be alone.” That gains some perspective.
I have a wonderful wife. We’ve had a miserable marriage! We were both idiots, youth, and have managed to keep it together. July will be 25yrs, I’ll not badmouth her, she should have left me years ago, and I had my opportunity to walk away but chose to tuff it out and try to fix things. It hasn’t been easy for either of us, but here we are.
We have a 13yo son, he’s managed to help keep my depression in check, he really centered me and gave me “purpose”, to a point.
I’ve dealt with and fought depression my entire life, seen more shrinks than I have fingers and toes, started when I was in fifth grade. It wasn’t until my wife intentionally tried to ruin our marriage that I finally got serious and answered things honestly that the depression was diagnosed. Now, please don’t put any of this on her, I wasn’t a pleasant person to deal with and she didn’t have the heart (really, she’s a good person) to feel anymore or try to walk away anymore, so she did what she thought would completely destroy the marriage. As I was far from perfect, she wasn’t prepared for me to try and salvage things. Yes, she’s really that good of a woman.
So then I broke my back, going on nine years now. I’ve tried more drugs than I care to name. After a year, and three overdoses, I came off of Fentynal cold turkey, good times. But it was literally making me crazier than I already was, hard to do!
But I live in chronic pain daily, I had to buy a wheelchair to go to Disneyland. I scream, from pain, in my sleep. My depression has come to depths that I’ve calculated the speed and angle to run into the moving train to assure the most successful odds of negative survival. I do good to get four hours of sleep a night, most nights it’s less. Weather changes I can be up for three, sometimes longer, days without sleep.
I’ve been fired by four chiropractors, an acupuncturist and a kenesioligist. I’ve tried everything. I went through, with much disagreement, physical therapy and she flat told me she couldn’t fix me but could “make my life more tolerable”.
I’ve got days I feel great and want to build a house. I’ve got days I have to crawl out of bed, crawl to the bathroom, then claw my way back into bed.
They’ve messed with my meds so much that I’m useless for three days during these changes. My wife has to take off work to get our son to school and I have to have my parents pick him up from school.
I spent 4 1/2yrs fighting for disability, to be denied because I made an effort to participate in my sons activities while I can still walk. I was told that little amount of time would be better used working by the judge.
I’m tired, I’m tired of being tired, I’m tired of hurting, I’m tired of going to bed hurting just to know I’m going to get up and hurt again tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that, and so on. I’m tired of screaming from pain in my sleep and making my wife have to sleep on the sofa. I’m tired of hearing there’s nothing they can do for me.
I’m tired. So when can I fire the guy driving the railroad spike in my spine with a sledgehammer?
Seriously, how much can God expect one person to take? They say God never gives you more than you can take. I disagree, I’m done.

you have fairly well nailed down one of the reasons im not into "organized religion". imo many of those simple sayings are merely the simple minded persons way of trying to cope with whatever their problem is. i think if there were a god as most believe there is, this god would not let the suffering ,maiming, cruelty, murdering, etc, etc that goes on in this world. dont get me wrong,i think there is something greater than us, but its not confined to the "church", now standby while the attacks come. take life the best you can each day, and revel in being to stubborn to throw in the towel.

[barnabus]

Preface: I know this isn’t a popular topic, I’ve heard this that and the other from the Christian community, believe me! I am NOT asking for justification for anything here, I’m not asking anyone to understand my situation, but through what I’ve been, there is a quote from the old show “Night court” that sure seems to ring true. “Beyond a mans limits is no place God wants a man to be alone.” That gains some perspective.
I have a wonderful wife. We’ve had a miserable marriage! We were both idiots, youth, and have managed to keep it together. July will be 25yrs, I’ll not badmouth her, she should have left me years ago, and I had my opportunity to walk away but chose to tuff it out and try to fix things. It hasn’t been easy for either of us, but here we are.
We have a 13yo son, he’s managed to help keep my depression in check, he really centered me and gave me “purpose”, to a point.
I’ve dealt with and fought depression my entire life, seen more shrinks than I have fingers and toes, started when I was in fifth grade. It wasn’t until my wife intentionally tried to ruin our marriage that I finally got serious and answered things honestly that the depression was diagnosed. Now, please don’t put any of this on her, I wasn’t a pleasant person to deal with and she didn’t have the heart (really, she’s a good person) to feel anymore or try to walk away anymore, so she did what she thought would completely destroy the marriage. As I was far from perfect, she wasn’t prepared for me to try and salvage things. Yes, she’s really that good of a woman.
So then I broke my back, going on nine years now. I’ve tried more drugs than I care to name. After a year, and three overdoses, I came off of Fentynal cold turkey, good times. But it was literally making me crazier than I already was, hard to do!
But I live in chronic pain daily, I had to buy a wheelchair to go to Disneyland. I scream, from pain, in my sleep. My depression has come to depths that I’ve calculated the speed and angle to run into the moving train to assure the most successful odds of negative survival. I do good to get four hours of sleep a night, most nights it’s less. Weather changes I can be up for three, sometimes longer, days without sleep.
I’ve been fired by four chiropractors, an acupuncturist and a kenesioligist. I’ve tried everything. I went through, with much disagreement, physical therapy and she flat told me she couldn’t fix me but could “make my life more tolerable”.
I’ve got days I feel great and want to build a house. I’ve got days I have to crawl out of bed, crawl to the bathroom, then claw my way back into bed.
They’ve messed with my meds so much that I’m useless for three days during these changes. My wife has to take off work to get our son to school and I have to have my parents pick him up from school.
I spent 4 1/2yrs fighting for disability, to be denied because I made an effort to participate in my sons activities while I can still walk. I was told that little amount of time would be better used working by the judge.
I’m tired, I’m tired of being tired, I’m tired of hurting, I’m tired of going to bed hurting just to know I’m going to get up and hurt again tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that, and so on. I’m tired of screaming from pain in my sleep and making my wife have to sleep on the sofa. I’m tired of hearing there’s nothing they can do for me.
I’m tired. So when can I fire the guy driving the railroad spike in my spine with a sledgehammer?
Seriously, how much can God expect one person to take? They say God never gives you more than you can take. I disagree, I’m done.

God doesnt say he will not put on us more than we can bear,he certainly will to allow us to see our weakness and bring us to the end of our self effort.make sure you know Him and not just about Him

[JimB..]

I'm sorry you are suffering with chronic pain BUT I'm frankly confused by your posts. In this thread you are saying you were denied disability because of your limited activity with your child but in this other thread: http://castboolits.gunloads.com/showthread.php?356131-In-need-of-a-structural-engineer
You are talking about lifting engines and law mowers and such...all of these activities require physical action which would seem to be counter to your injuries/pain and the possibility of getting disability in the future.

It’s a chronic pain and depression thing. In this thread he’s likely had a very recent bad experience, and in the other he was likely having a rare good day and probably overplaying the hand he was dealt for the day. I don’t know him, but I know his symptoms. Every minute of every day you hope to be normal again, and when you feel reasonably good one day you think you’ve turned a corner, but then you do too much. It’s also possible that he’s had it all bad lately, and since he can’t do anything else he’s making plans for when he feels relatively good again.

There will be good days!

[Hickory]

Read the book of Job in the Bible!
And about the trials and tribulations he suffered and the loss and the pain he suffered.
Don't just read the words, imagine you are in his place, imagine you are suffering as he suffered. Imagine you are enduring the same test as he did. You may curse the day you were born, but, don't ever blame God! If you want to blame anyone, blame the great tormentor for he wants you to curse God and your situation.

[dverna]

No easy answers. I for one cannot imagine what you are going through as my pain has never lasted more than a year or so before improving. I had no good days during that time and had to stop shooting.....but thankfully I am better now.

I believe in God, but not as depicted in the Bible....at least not yet. It is said God does not test us...but maybe He does. Others more knowledgeable may comment.

[sawinredneck]

It’s a chronic pain and depression thing. In this thread he’s likely had a very recent bad experience, and in the other he was likely having a rare good day and probably overplaying the hand he was dealt for the day. I don’t know him, but I know his symptoms. Every minute of every day you hope to be normal again, and when you feel reasonably good one day you think you’ve turned a corner, but then you do too much. It’s also possible that he’s had it all bad lately, and since he can’t do anything else he’s making plans for when he feels relatively good again.

There will be good days!
This!
I tried going back to life as normal and failed. My father pushed me to file for disability as I was against it. After loosing I feel like a burden to my family and NEED to do things. You literally will go crazy if you don’t.
I’ve got days I can build a house and I’ve got days I crawl around the house, but I’ve no idea day to day which way I’ll feel. And yes, I normally over do it on my good days.
I’m in the process of building a shop and I’m trying to set it up to make it as friendly to my needs as possible. All the work I’ve done in the past and what I know and am good at, is labor intensive. Machining, motor repair, electrical work, wood work etc.. I am very good and sought after in some fields, hydraulics and equipment electrical repair, but most people have to be in dire straits to come to me because of my timeline, I work on it when I can and as I can and most people need their equipment sooner than that.
So it’s a catch 22, sit around and let the demons loose in my head or try to do something to keep them at bay and deal with the pain?

[WILCO]

Forward. Always move forward. With time, the weight increases, still the push forward must be made.

[Der Gebirgsjager]

Your wife, by your own repeated admissions, sounds like a great lady. I'm sure that's probably why you married her in the first place, and why you held it all together as long as you have. Based on what you've written and how it sounds to me, the problems no matter how they came about are more on your side than hers. It's probably impossible to place a percentage, but for the sake of discussion let's say the situation you find yourself in is 70% your fault and 30% her fault. If you want to straighten things out, then you'll need to make 70% of the effort. 25 years represents a lot of investment to just throw away, and given your situation of depression and severe physical pain I have to doubt that another committed lifetime companion will come along. There is your son to consider, and divorces never turn out well for the children who are meant to have two parents.

I'm really sorry to hear that you are in such severe pain. There is so much you could elaborate on to give us a better understanding of your condition. Of course they prescribe pain killers, and they can become addicting. Drugs can be therapeutic for temporary relief, but can't be allowed to become a way of life. What about surgery? I've had go-arounds with back pain, and there probably isn't a type of physical pain that is any worse. It seems like in the last few years they have made great strides in back surgery. Is surgery an option for your situation?

As for seeking religious assistance, you've got to be very careful. There are so many folks out there "making money off of Jesus" who are fakes and false witnesses. If you can find a good group to associate with headed by good, sincere, knowledgeable leader(s) you'll find their company and counsel to be of much more value that that of a psychiatrist. I'm sure that fellowshipping with such a group will be a better cure for your depression than $200 per hour office visits. True Christian communities are both caring and sharing, and I'm sure you could find those willing to help you with everyday problems that exist or arise within your home.

I will pray for relief in your situation, and I know many others on the forum will do the same. Best wishes to you. Hold on, and don't throw it all away.

[sawinredneck]

Your wife, by your own repeated admissions, sounds like a great lady. I'm sure that's probably why you married her in the first place, and why you held it all together as long as you have. Based on what you've written and how it sounds to me, the problems no matter how they came about are more on your side than hers. It's probably impossible to place a percentage, but for the sake of discussion let's say the situation you find yourself in is 70% your fault and 30% her fault. If you want to straighten things out, then you'll need to make 70% of the effort. 25 years represents a lot of investment to just throw away, and given your situation of depression and severe physical pain I have to doubt that another committed lifetime companion will come along. There is your son to consider, and divorces never turn out well for the children who are meant to have two parents.

I'm really sorry to hear that you are in such severe pain. There is so much you could elaborate on to give us a better understanding of your condition. Of course they prescribe pain killers, and they can become addicting. Drugs can be therapeutic for temporary relief, but can't be allowed to become a way of life. What about surgery? I've had go-arounds with back pain, and there probably isn't a type of physical pain that is any worse. It seems like in the last few years they have made great strides in back surgery. Is surgery an option for your situation?

As for seeking religious assistance, you've got to be very careful. There are so many folks out there "making money off of Jesus" who are fakes and false witnesses. If you can find a good group to associate with headed by good, sincere, knowledgeable leader(s) you'll find their company and counsel to be of much more value that that of a psychiatrist. I'm sure that fellowshipping with such a group will be a better cure for your depression than $200 per hour office visits. True Christian communities are both caring and sharing, and I'm sure you could find those willing to help you with everyday problems that exist or arise within your home.

I will pray for relief in your situation, and I know many others on the forum will do the same. Best wishes to you. Hold on, and don't throw it all away.
The marital issues, 90% me, I own that. I’ve always battled with depression, just didn’t know that’s what it was, and got to where I’d pretty well shut everyone out. We managed to work through all of that and had gotten our marriage to a decent place. No marriage is ever perfect.
My back, I’ve basically blown out the disc at L4-L5 and have a 20% compression fracture at T -12. They say there is nothing they can do surgically and physical therapy was just to make my life a little more tolerable but nothing more, and they made no bones about it.
I won’t get into the horror stories I’ve had with the drugs, spinal injections, Tylenol 3, Hydrocodone, OxyContin up to Fentynal. All have their own burdens that come along for the ride.
So basically this is as good as it will ever get for me.

[JimB..]

The marital issues, 90% me, I own that. I’ve always battled with depression, just didn’t know that’s what it was, and got to where I’d pretty well shut everyone out. We managed to work through all of that and had gotten our marriage to a decent place. No marriage is ever perfect.
My back, I’ve basically blown out the disc at L4-L5 and have a 20% compression fracture at T -12. They say there is nothing they can do surgically and physical therapy was just to make my life a little more tolerable but nothing more, and they made no bones about it.
I won’t get into the horror stories I’ve had with the drugs, spinal injections, Tylenol 3, Hydrocodone, OxyContin up to Fentynal. All have their own burdens that come along for the ride.
So basically this is as good as it will ever get for me.

You’ve probably been there, but go get a second or third opinion. Treatment of back problems is still as much magic as it is science and someone new might have an idea worth trying. My wife is pushing me to try stem cell therapy, it won’t regrow bone but it apparently helps with disc problems. Fusion is often an option, and effectiveness is pretty good, but I’m sure that’s been considered.

FWIW, physical therapy has never helped me and it seems that stretching actually makes the problem worse. The best thing for me is to be super patient and stop when I know I should, even if I’m literally halfway done tightening a bolt. The last little bit can easily cost me a week, or a month.

Funny the things you remember, I’m tearing up thinking back to not being able to play in the fathers vs daughters soccer game almost 15 years ago, she would have been maybe 6 so little more than walking about the field but I couldn’t. I remember Valentine’s Day 2011, does anyone forget their first delautid?

All that said, try to keep things in perspective. I missed a whole lot of my daughter’s growing up because of my pain, but I didn’t miss it all and that’s better than a lot of folks get in this world.

[Der Gebirgsjager]

I agree with JimB. I think they are working medical miracles on backs now days. You're in the approximate center of the country, so you can go any direction for better help. I'd start by some intensive research on the internet. Look for places that specialize in back surgery. I have known several guys that had injuries seemingly like yours, and the solution (last choice) used to be to fuse the injured locations of the spine. It was very painful for awhile, but then got better. It is my belief however, that fusing has become obsolete and other methods are being used like removal of the injured pads between vertebrae and replacement with other substances, etc. Don't give up, start looking, and if the exact right thing isn't here today it may well be tomorrow.

[Mr_Sheesh]

Mechanical Engineering wise, fusions are a bad idea; All the stress and strain on 3 joints, after the fusion, is now concentrated on 2 joints - So those fail far sooner than they would otherwise. And then you have 5 joints' worth of stress & strain on the next 2 joints, etc.; Fusions have been problematic because of this. Last ditch solution IMO...

[eric123]

Depression is a hell of a thing for the affected and those that love them...I don't have much to offer but try to stay strong and don't let the bastard win...

I'm not a doctor...However if one prescribes Effexor for you, please get a second opinion...Still feel the effects of it over 9 years after kicking it...

[sawinredneck]

Depression is a hell of a thing for the affected and those that love them...I don't have much to offer but try to stay strong and don't let the bastard win...

I'm not a doctor...However if one prescribes Effexor for you, please get a second opinion...Still feel the effects of it over 9 years after kicking it...
Yeah, I’ve played with Paxil, Efexxor and a few others myself. I still have an adversion to fluorescent lights from the Efexxor, I can see and count the cycles of the lights. But at least the migraines are finally gone.
I respect your sentiment.

[JimB..]

Mechanical Engineering wise, fusions are a bad idea; All the stress and strain on 3 joints, after the fusion, is now concentrated on 2 joints - So those fail far sooner than they would otherwise. And then you have 5 joints' worth of stress & strain on the next 2 joints, etc.; Fusions have been problematic because of this. Last ditch solution IMO...

All true. My neurosurgeon suggested putting it off as long as possible in the hopes that another treatment will become available. He’s been working with artificial discs but isn’t impressed yet.

[eric123]

Yeah, I’ve played with Paxil, Efexxor and a few others myself. I still have an adversion to fluorescent lights from the Efexxor, I can see and count the cycles of the lights. But at least the migraines are finally gone.
I respect your sentiment.

Luckily I never had headaches except for the 6 weeks it took me to kick the stuff. i still have brain zaps though, and 3 years of missing memories...Thoughts and prayers are with you...

[Plate plinker]

Keep searching for better medical care don't give up! Seek the best you can or cannot afford don't settle for hacks.

[jmort]

Keep searching for better medical care don't give up! Seek the best you can or cannot afford don't settle for hacks.

This is good advice

[sawinredneck]

I’ve done all we can afford. This literally bankrupted us the first three years. Between the injections, another MRI, this specialist, another MRI, that surgeon, another MRI, another specialist, another surgeon, three chiropractors, a kenisioligist, acupuncture, another specialist and another surgeon.
If not by the grace of God, my wife getting a bonus from work, we’d have lost most everything. Even now I’m averaging six days a year in the hospital from medical issues, and even with good insurance it drains us.
I assure you, I’ve looked into as many options as we can financially and I can mentally do so. It’s just not feasable for us to continue that path and emotionaly, it’s taxing on me to get built up just to be let down, yet again.