Purely hypothetical question

[7br]

Lets suppose you have a good hearted, but often misunderstood friend that has been hoarding his vacation in order to go deer hunting. And lets further suppose your friend had to take a half day of vacation to stay at home while someone replaced the air handling unit in the house. Of course, the friend deserves to use this time for his advantage because he had originally planned to use it for deer hunting. Since your friend had recently ran out of lube in his lyman 450, he decided it was time to put an o-ring around the center screw. Your friend also rightfully decides that this is the time to tear it down and clean it up. After removing all of the miscellaneous parts, your friend decides to boil the chamber on the kitchen stove. In the middle of the boiling operation, one of the hvac guys asked some questions which distracts your friend. Approximately three cups of waxy, greasy blue-green colored water boils all over the friend's loving, but sometimes misunderstanding wife's stove.

How much cleaning should the friend do? Too much and swmbo will get suspicious. Too little and swmbo may make good on her promise to perfect the "Vascetomy without painkillers" procedure.

Inquiring minds want to know. Quickly......

[felix]

Clean it up all the way as fast as possible. No matter, wifey will know anyway. ... felix

[NVcurmudgeon]

Clean it up spotless, then cook something and leave the (small) mess. That way, the felony offense of trashing the stove with bullet lube will be undetected in the discovery of the simple and common infraction of husbandly sloppiness.

[7br]

Well, my friend decided to take curmudgeon’s advice. Knowing that he was out of his league in the cleaning department, he decided to opt for professional help. A quick read through the classified ads netted an advertisement for a “French Maid Service”. Naturally, the service guaranteed discreteness, which is exactly what my friend needed. When the young lady from the service showed up, my friend was a little bewildered by her dress, or rather lack of it. She also didn’t seem to carrying any cleaning supplies, although she did mention something about having more suction than a hoover. My friend decided that she would be an unwarranted distraction to the HVAC guys, so politely told her that her services would not be needed. She explained that she would still need to charge a service fee and that if my friend didn’t pay up, she would refer him to her large collection agency who was still sitting in the Coup DeVille. As my friend was settling up the tab, he told her that he didn’t think she was being very professional. She replied that she was a professional alright.

My friend then got out the turpentine and mineral spirits to cut the beeswax and lanolin. The smell was a little strong, so he lit one of SWMBO’s scented candles. One would think that the fumes would have dissipated some. The resulting flash fire cut the lube nicely, although the ceiling and freshly painted walls now have a slightly sooty feel. Kinda like when you didn’t load enough powder to get a good case seal. Anyway, another good going over with Hoppes #9 resulted in a reasonable facsimile of cleanliness.

The next step was to heat up a 5 cups of leftover chili in a two quart saucepan. A half an hour on high resulted in a nicely crusted over stove. Oddly enough, the smell of the chili totally overpowered the smell of the Hoppes. Go figure. My friend thinks he also might have netted a new pan for rendering wheel weights. All traces of the lube accident have been erased.

Next question: Where is the recipe for Sordo Squirrel?

[9.3X62AL]

TOO FUNNY! I love it!

[The Nyack Kid]

where do i send the flowers and the get well card ?