davidheart
12-21-2017, 06:02 PM
Hey guys, I have a prayer request for myself.
I don't really have a lot of people I consider close friends. People I would invite over to my house or go fishing/hunting/camping with. I'm friendly with everybody but I only had a couple people I felt I could share my life with. I moved around a lot growing up so I have no childhood friends and people who were great friends when I lived other places slowly drifted out of my life as I moved. There are a couple people here I thought I had built a close friendship with. People I watched their animals for while they were away, went hunting with, fishing, confided in as a Christian brother and visa versa.
Well, for seemingly no good reason, and without getting into much detail or speculation, who I thought was my closest friend dropped off. Disconnected from me and is treating me as if I'd done some unspeakable act toward him. I even received a threat from him the last time I heard from him. That was about 6 weeks ago. No idea what happened but it hurt tremendously.
Then ~2 weeks another close friend, not as close, but still there, dropped off. He got into his head somehow that I had lied to him and stolen from him. I have no idea at all how this lie got into his head but it devastated me. I thought he was joking when we talked. He won't listen to reason and has disconnected from me. I balled my eyes out and wailed in my car on the drive home. It's hurtful to think of it even now.
Other than my wife I have one other person I consider a close, Christian brother, but I'm afraid to talk with him or be around. He's pretty busy with life and all anyway, but if something happened in that relationship I might not be able to get out of bed in the morning. I really don't get it, why I'm taking this all so hard but it feels very open ended and emotionally painful. My wife is trying to help me but I don't want to lay the burden of depression on her so I'm trying to keep up good appearances.
Since then for the past four weeks I've had a real, literal pain in my chest area. It's like my muscles are all contracting at once and there's something stabbing under my armpits. I had my blood pressure checked out and I'm exceptional (118/77), I have no problems in my heart, I'm in excellent health, and eat well. I think this is all emotional. For the past 5 days I felt no pain in my chest, then today I had to invoice my "friend's" businesses for their website hosting for 2018 and it all came flooding back to me. The pain came back about 4 hours ago and it hasn't gone away. I've been on the verge of tears all day. I was at the grocery store and the cashier actually asked me "Are you ok sir? Having a bad day?" I didn't even know my emotion was displayed on the outside. I just told him "Yes, but I'm sure it'll get better." and he made a joke that helped me smile.
I got to shake this, not only for my own sake, but for my wife and kids. This is awful and completely involuntary. I don't know what's going on with those two, they won't talk to me, they won't explain to me (outside of the second person with minimal explaination) but I just want it to go away. I want to disconnect but I also want to be able to trust people again. These were guys that I trusted, and this happened....
So... please pray for me. I don't want this to affect my family's Christmas. I've already had enough of a hard time working and I've lost plenty of sleep. I'm so done with it all. Thank you. :cry:
I don't really have a lot of people I consider close friends. People I would invite over to my house or go fishing/hunting/camping with. I'm friendly with everybody but I only had a couple people I felt I could share my life with. I moved around a lot growing up so I have no childhood friends and people who were great friends when I lived other places slowly drifted out of my life as I moved. There are a couple people here I thought I had built a close friendship with. People I watched their animals for while they were away, went hunting with, fishing, confided in as a Christian brother and visa versa.
Well, for seemingly no good reason, and without getting into much detail or speculation, who I thought was my closest friend dropped off. Disconnected from me and is treating me as if I'd done some unspeakable act toward him. I even received a threat from him the last time I heard from him. That was about 6 weeks ago. No idea what happened but it hurt tremendously.
Then ~2 weeks another close friend, not as close, but still there, dropped off. He got into his head somehow that I had lied to him and stolen from him. I have no idea at all how this lie got into his head but it devastated me. I thought he was joking when we talked. He won't listen to reason and has disconnected from me. I balled my eyes out and wailed in my car on the drive home. It's hurtful to think of it even now.
Other than my wife I have one other person I consider a close, Christian brother, but I'm afraid to talk with him or be around. He's pretty busy with life and all anyway, but if something happened in that relationship I might not be able to get out of bed in the morning. I really don't get it, why I'm taking this all so hard but it feels very open ended and emotionally painful. My wife is trying to help me but I don't want to lay the burden of depression on her so I'm trying to keep up good appearances.
Since then for the past four weeks I've had a real, literal pain in my chest area. It's like my muscles are all contracting at once and there's something stabbing under my armpits. I had my blood pressure checked out and I'm exceptional (118/77), I have no problems in my heart, I'm in excellent health, and eat well. I think this is all emotional. For the past 5 days I felt no pain in my chest, then today I had to invoice my "friend's" businesses for their website hosting for 2018 and it all came flooding back to me. The pain came back about 4 hours ago and it hasn't gone away. I've been on the verge of tears all day. I was at the grocery store and the cashier actually asked me "Are you ok sir? Having a bad day?" I didn't even know my emotion was displayed on the outside. I just told him "Yes, but I'm sure it'll get better." and he made a joke that helped me smile.
I got to shake this, not only for my own sake, but for my wife and kids. This is awful and completely involuntary. I don't know what's going on with those two, they won't talk to me, they won't explain to me (outside of the second person with minimal explaination) but I just want it to go away. I want to disconnect but I also want to be able to trust people again. These were guys that I trusted, and this happened....
So... please pray for me. I don't want this to affect my family's Christmas. I've already had enough of a hard time working and I've lost plenty of sleep. I'm so done with it all. Thank you. :cry: