PDA

View Full Version : Sorry ladies



RayinNH
11-19-2005, 08:35 PM
A sign in the Bank lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, Male & Female procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."

MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put up window.
7. Drive off.
************************************************** ******
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward two feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty handbag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull away.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for two to three miles.
27. Release parking brake.

versifier
11-20-2005, 01:16 AM
Ray, ever wondered why drive-up ATM's have Braille numbers on them? :shock:

Buckshot
11-20-2005, 09:55 AM
.............The man speaks the truth. Add 10 minutes if there are kids in the car. Honestly, I will check heads in the cars at the drive up ATM's. If both are female I'll park and walk over to the walkup machines. You know, if I have to deposit money, swap money in accounts, check my money market standings then withdraw cash from 2 or 3 accounts I will do it at a walkup. The drive up is to get money out, or put money in.

One other thing they forgot, that has happened TWICE to me. That is dropping the ATM card or money on the ground. There isn't enough room to open the door. One time she pulled up, but not far enough so had to get back in and pull ahead some more. Get the card and go back and sit in the dang car while putting the card back in the right spot in the purse.

..............Buckshot

NVcurmudgeon
11-20-2005, 10:49 AM
What chaps my hide is that our bank's ATM machine is too low to use from my Dodge 4WD PU, and too high to use from the Princess's Saturn. Guess I should have hung onto the '49 Ford Tudor I started out with!

RayinNH
11-20-2005, 10:54 AM
Versifier, in my almost 51 years I have never used an ATM machine. As to the drive up ATM in braille, there's lots of things in this world that don't make sense...Ray

versifier
11-20-2005, 12:18 PM
Yeah, Ray, you got that right. Fortunately most of those things that make no sense live beyond our southern border, though I could wish that more of them would drive right on through into Maine instead of causing traffic jams here in the Valley.... if wishes were horses we could afford dog food. 8)