Trial

[Boaz]

It's Sunday 4 23 17 3;49 pm . I have not attended church for three weeks . Becky took everything she owned down to her birth certificate three weeks ago . She is gone .

I saw it coming , her mother is dying , she is in the last stage of Alzheimer's . I have tried to council , talk , encourage her but she blocked me out . I just came from seeing her mom at the rest home . Becky is in the wind .

I have been trying to keep busy today , trying not to think . All the treatment centers , church , personal , church programs for problem kids , well heck just lay 'stuff' I have started or been involved in seems to have failed me with her . I failed . Seems like a third of my threads are my failings , we all fail . As usual I just reread James , I relate to James . James was plain spoken , he told the undeniable truth in few words , you see him trying to be diplomatic but presenting fact . The book of James is short I encourage you to read it twice .

James 5;16


16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.


Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

James died by being thrown off a two story building because he refused to deny GOD . When that failed to kill him he was again demanded to deny GOD ..he refused and was put to the sword . Yea , demands thought .

The last three weeks I have ben drinking a pint of liquor a night , haven't drank in bout 35 years . Rough necked on drilling rigs , did bout everything 'oilfield' , well acquainted with the effects of liquor . Kills the pain , dulls the senses but doesn't solve anything . Creates a brand new Hell in your life . Haven't been posting much , haven't been doing anything except trying to avoid pain . Got multiple problems right now . Swallowed my pride and put up this thread . Just reporting another failing and seeking prayer .

Pray for Becky , pray for protection and guidance . She has fell in with a bad element . Pray for me in the way you deem important . There are good people here , If I didn't care , respect or believe you were I dang sure would not have posted . Me and her got trouble .

Thank you .
Charlie

[shoot-n-lead]

Prayer sent for you brother.

I really have no words of wisdom for you other than to tell you to look to GOD for the strength to make it through this time of trial...keep the faith.

[Preacher Jim]

One pair of jeans knees worn out, Charlie you of all my friends know the truth. Now you tell us you are running from Him. Praying harder for both of you
Love in Christ's name

[dverna]

Very sad to hear of your troubles Charlie. Please do not beat yourself up. You can only fail in the eyes of God and you can only find comfort in your faith. Liquor will only give your troubles swimming lessons....it will not drown them.

[Hogtamer]

Praying Charlie.

[Pine Baron]

Charlie, my dear friend and brother. Please stop, just stop, get out of your head and get your feet on the ground. There are many times, and this is one of them, when you should narrow your focus, concentrate on the moment, do what needs to get done. Let go all that is out of your control. Time to walk the walk, give it to God. You KNOW this. Go in Peace and trust in God's plan.
I love you brother,
Ted

[Boaz]

One pair of jeans knees worn out, Charlie you of all my friends know the truth. Now you tell us you are running from Him. Praying harder for both of you
Love in Christ's name

Jim I ain't running from him , he is there for me . I'm running from myself . My faith in GOD is strong but I have layed it aside to avoid pain . I need to do what needs be done but I haven't figured out what that is exactly . Complicated and hard . I'll get it figured out , I know I can't keep going down this road . I need to reconcile , own up that I cannot on my own 'fix' it . Got to lay it down and put it in his hands . Dang hard to deal with . Being who I am I am being required to let it go ...give it to him when I love her so much and want to 'fix' it .

I understand Jim , I agree ...it's hard but what I'm doing won't get it done . Your right and knew that already . Avoidance is what I'm doing .

[square butte]

God is in control - Let him be. Turn over to Him what you can't do anything about. Praying for you

[rl69]

You failed???? BS!!!! this ain't about you!!! This is about Becky. She is struggling with what the lord has put in front of her. She knows what to do (you taught her/ showed her) she dosen't want to do it, it's hard its scarry and it hurts.

Now you need to get back to what the lord has for you.

I was Becky 35 years ago. scared hurting filled with pride acting out,I knew better then everyone. All this was my failing!!!! my folks did right by me. None of this was their fault. The lord put me on a path. a path that has lead me to where I am today. It's not how the lord wanted me to get here for sure but he was there every step of the way.

I know none of this is going to do any good. You know all this already I'm betting you have gave this same advice. Get back to work.

[rancher1913]

I understand what your dealing with more than you will ever know. sometimes they have to go their own way to understand life and you just need to make sure you are still around when she comes to her senses.

[GhostHawk]

Charlie face the pain head on brother. In this life problems do not go away if you turn your back on them. They get together and get bigger, meaner.

Reach down inside and find the strength that I know is there brother.
Grab aholt of it with both hands. Turn and face your problems head on, eyes wide open.

Your wife is going to go, but it will happen on her timing not yours.
Becky if you did your job right will come back. And it may happen sooner than you think, But right now she is in the middle between you and her mom, and she can't deal with it. Too much for her, overloaded what she could carry. So she did what you did to try to lower the pain.

Do you see that??

She is old enough that you can not tell her what to do.
All you can do is love her and try not to drive her away.
And hope when she can she will come home. But if she is stubborn like you it may take a while.

As for the alcohol, my grandmother had some choice words on the subject. She said legal drinking age should be 50. That is is wasted on the young, they abuse it, screw up their lives for nothing.

Once over 55 a single drink every day or 2 is not going to do much harm, may do some good. I have one about once a month, helps get the wrinkles out of my soul and the bark out of my voice.

You know better brother. You know you do, you know it won't fix anything.

Turn to the Lord Charlie, fall on your knees and beg for forgiveness. You know it will come. When you do Charlie, surrender. Give it all to the lord. You know you can't manage any of it, its out of your hands. So lay it all at his feet and let him do it for you.

If you can do that, and stay in his will, you might find the pain slipping away.

What will be, will be. We can't change that. But how we react to that, the choices we make. That makes a big difference.

The sooner Becky hears that you have come to terms with this. That you are ok. The sooner she can put a feeler out and see if she can come see you to see for herself.

But at this point I would not expect her to come home. We all fly out of the nest at some point. Some earlier than others. Once flown coming back to live by others rules and ways becomes most repugnant. Just is not going to fly.

But if you can show her that you are ok, that you can handle this. She may include you back into your life again.

Best of luck to you brother. I've been talking to the Lord as I have been talking to you.
He said he was listening and he will do what he can.

Love you

[Bzcraig]

Charlie listen! Listen to your friends, to the Holy Spirit and stop listening to Satan, who is currently stealing from you and beating you up! The Word promises that if children are "trained up in the way they should go" when they grow old they will not depart from it. Sin is pleasurable for a season and whatever has distracted Becky from her faith has not stolen her salvation. You know the word and I won't preach at you, but I will say again, don't give Satan a foothold in your life. Do you understand friend?

[Hickok]

Charlie, you have to know we are all praying for you.

I firmly believe the devil attacks those who are doing the Lord's work.

He doesn't need to go after those who are not a hindrance to his aims, as they are impotent, and offer no threat to his reign. He already has them where he wants them.

We are Christian soldiers in the Army Of the Lord, and those fighting and doing battle will suffer pain, scars, wounds and loss. We are veterans in the war against the evil one and his forces here on this earth.

Without Jesus we can do nothing. The Holy Ghost is in us, and will never leave us.

[fivegunner]

Charlie, Your in my prayers, Please NEVER GIVE UP.

[buckwheatpaul]

Charlie, Your friends are steering you straight. We all have our faults .... you are just lucky that you have a bunch of people that care for you and Becky. You raised her right....she is at the age to where she is going to act up and challenge you....but I know you have done right by her. She is suffering from the curse of youth in which they know everything yet they dont know how to solve their problems that surface....Becky is suffering from the problem associated with her mom not to mention worrying that she might develop the safe illness down the road. Throw in the influence her fellow peers are subjecting her to it is no wonder that she has slipped. You can rest assured that Becky knows the Lord....she is just floundering like we all did and still do.

You friends are praying for Becky and you and you are with friends brother!

Father, I come to You to ask for help for Brother Charlie and Sister Becky. Each are facing a lot of commotion in their lives. Father please reach out and help Becky to turn back to You. Show her the path that she needs to follow to deal with the illness that her mother is facing as well as dealing with Charlie. Father please come to Charlie to show him the path that he needs to follow to bridge the gap between himself and Becky. Father give them the grace and protection from the evils that are surrounding them and guide them to peace and grace. In Your name I pray. AMEN

[Boaz]

I have many good friends here . I have read all posts probably at least 3 times each . Your prayer , your advice and your caring is truly appreciated . I would not have made this thread if I did not believe that . I thank you .

I have also received pm's and phone calls , many from one's that do not post here regularly . I thank you .

Thanking you is not really enough , you have gone out of your way ..you care . Caring is a hard thing to come by these days , it is to be cherished and realized to be a blessing . I have been blessed .

Many people that do not know my trouble have showed up this last week , many unexpectedly . Buckwheat Paul drove an 800 hundred mile round trip to buy my lunch . Yep it's true , believe it or not....just to buy me lunch . He and Alan lifted me up ...good men . Good men are hard to find . The couple of hours of fellowship gave me a time away from my trouble .

Lord bless those you have sent , in this Chapel or the many different situations that have occurred . Thank you for giving me support through their love and care . Thank you for giving each a message to convey . Thank you for letting me know I am not alone here . Thank you for giving me real friends . Guide them in their work , guide me in mine . Help us work together Lord to support one another , love one another . Thank you Lord . Amen

[Blackwater]

Charlie, you've been given a lot of staright, good advice. But it is YOU who has to decide whether to take it. Most of us know what we ought to do. The trouble comes when we WANT to do something else, sometimes because we're hurting because things aren't going like we want them to. This is what children do. They just pitch a fit and even hurt themselves when they don't get what they want.

Becky is going through some very trying times, and maybe she's doing a bit of the same sort of thing. A young girl with a dying Mom has GOT to have a lot swirling around inside her. You can objectify the situation, at least largely. She cannot because of the very different relationship daughters have with their mothers. It's totally different from your relationship with her Mom. Any time a person is going through a real trial, and especially if it tugs at the heartstrings like your situation does, they are VERY prone to just "pitch a fit" and act childish, instead of following the good advice Christ left for us for just this type of situation.

You've planted some very good seeds in Becky. The young very typically, though, have to learn some lessons on their own. I know it concerns you tremendously, but .... you've got to be an adult here, because she's really incapable of doing that just yet, and ONE of you desperately NEEDS to be the adult. And alcohol is NOT going to make things better, but is very likely to make it worse, because it releases your emotions and stifles your intellect - exactly the opposite of what you and her both need right now.

And remember the story of the Prodigal Son. When he returned home from squandering his whole inheritance, what did the father do? If Becky returns, and I believe she will, you'd better keep yourself in the shape that will allow you to not run her off again. Be the adult she desperately needs, who'll love her even if she errs. This is what Christ does for us. Why can't you do this with her???? Christ set the example. It may be hard to follow Him sometimes, when all we want to do is just pitch a fit, but that's the VERY time when we need to follow His example MOST!!!!

Trust in God. He can see her through MUCH more than you ever could! Within your sphere of influence, or beyond it. He's always there. Just love that little girl. Don't ever let her think your love is dependent on doing what you tell her to. That never works with the young today. They have to be LED, and NOT told. You may understand everything you tell her, but she may not, and she's going through some hormonal and other changes in her life that you and I can never understand.

Give her a break, like Christ has done with all of us. To not do so is to forsake all the the Lord tried so very hard to teach us.

[Boaz]

.............................................Becky update

School nurse called me at nine this morning , said she had been in an altercation . One of the people she's running with blindsided her in the hall at school , threw her up against the wall and started pummeling her in the head .

Becky told them to call me . Took her to the emergency room and spent 5 hours there . They did tests for head trauma , concussion . Said she was probably ok . I have been warning her to stay away from this girl , she ain't right and pure trouble . She ambushed Becky in the hall because Becky unfriended her on Facebook .

Point is she told them to call me ..she was crying and scared .

[sawinredneck]

I realize I'm new here, so I'll not interject much.
I'm not going to say anything about the drinking, I can't.
Youve only failed at realizing your a good parent, with your hands full! Two years ago we burried my wife's brothers wife from cancer in March. A month later, Good Friday in fact, her dad passed from Alzheimer's, terrible disease, sucks the life out of everyone around them. I understand your stress well as a supporting partner.
Young kids, girls in particular are a fickle bunch! Had a neighbor get woken at 2am by the police, his 14yo daughter had snuck out and headed for Texas with her "boyfriend", fluke traffic stop caught them. They are strong willed and rebellious at any and everything! I've seen girls snap because they wanted bread, not toast and not talk to parents for two days lol!
You've failed at nothing, sir, in fact it sounds like you did pretty good if she knew she could count on you in a jam!
Remember, it's hard on both of you and you can't give her the attention she may think she always needs. Hug her lots, apologize lots, but don't make excuses and put it on her mom, that could drive the wedge deeper.
Stay strong, you have your hands full.

[Hogdaddy]

Praying for you and Becky, May the Lord be with y'all God Bless.
H/D

[rl69]

Ant God good

[rl69]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lta0X2_wMso

[rl69]

We played this version at church I love his prayer " you've never made a mistake"
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=P0CvpPV4cGA

[rl69]

The hole album
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=e4cA-EPzmvo

[castalott]

Charlie.... The only advice I can give is to love your girl with all your heart...


Sincere Prayers for Hope, Faith, Wisdom, Understanding, Mercy, Love, Forgiveness, and Courage.....


Please Lord....Mercy for All these..... Amen

[Pine Baron]

Ahhh Charlie, God's plan is unfolding right in front of our eyes. All Glory goes to God. Thank you Lord Jesus.

[GhostHawk]

This too shall pass Charlie.

Trust yourself, trust your love for becky. You know you did right by her.

She is I suspect already on the road back.

Hang in there brother.

[EMC45]

Stay on your knees, love your kids and seek God in everything. I know nothing else to say. I have 3 at the house right now and they are growing and testing us. I love 'em to death though and pray without ceasing.

[flyer1]

Boaz,

I was Becky when I was young. My folks left the door open for me, as I am sure you are doing for Becky. It took time but, I did return to my family. Then as an adult, I was where you are. I left the door open for my girls as well as my son. I had a couple come home and a couple that did not. My folks told me the hardest thing they did was to watch me make mistakes and be ready to pick up the pieces. Of course I laughed. Then as an adult I understood what they said. Drinking did not help me as it made me not ready to pick up the pieces for my children when they hit bottom. In other words I was failing my kids by being unprepared to help when they would need me most. I am still waiting for 2 of them. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. If you find yourself in N. Texas, my door is open.

Mike

[jmort]

Sorry I missed this
Been in your shoes
They do come back
Glad to hear you are back in touch with her
Praying for her
Praying for you
God bless those who personally reached out to you in this trying time

[w5pv]

Get a good cane pole,some worms and go fishing and do a lot of soul searching won't cure any thing but when the fish bite you will forget all for a moment.Praying for you and yours.

[Blackwater]

Boaz, one of the hardest things parents will ever have on their plates, is having to think back hard, and see what they might have done better. Not a mistake, really. Just a better way to relate to our kids, especially the younger teens. Along with this usually comes the fact that we can tell them whatever they want, but THEY have to decide whether to listen .... or not. And just about all of them decide NOT to listen sometimes, and it's often when they most need to heed what they're told.

Often, it's as much HOW we tell them - what kind of attitude we have contained in our words - that brings about defiance and disobedience. Teens are very much aware, even if often subliminally, that they have to start learning how to make their OWN decisions in life, and with their inexperience, and the influence of the profane world and natural inclinations at that age, they sometimes just erupt like a volcano, and do foolish things. It's part of the learning process for many of us.

So don't lose heart or going around thinking you've "failed" just because she's had one of these "experience building" episodes, because you haven't. Could you have done better? Sure, probably. But you did GOOD, and that's what she'll always remember about you. One day she'll rue the day she went against you, but sooner or later, they all generally have to defy us. It's how they sprout their own wings in this life.

It's said that wisdom comes from experience, and most experience is obtained through bad judgment. And that goes for ALL of us at ANY age, not just the teens. As parents, we like to think of our children as "little angels" who we can control, and curb their actions and thoughts like a wind-up toy. We know better, but we LIKE to think that anyway.

You just had a little "learning experience" yourself in this. It's up to you to recognize it, and learn from it, or not. She's not your "little girl" any more. She's a young woman who just happens to be your daughter. Your job now, is to try to continue teaching her HOW to think, and make good decisions. Even what looks like a good decision can go bad on any of us, Becky included. We're really not much different, one from another, and adults are just overgrown children in many ways. Maybe that's why Christ called us his "children???" Anyway, relating to her in a little more loving and respectful way may wind up paying large dividends for both of you. Not sure what brought this on, and it's unlikely you or I or anyone will ever really know, in truth. But it's an indication that SOMETHING needs to change a bit, or maybe significantly. Just remember, she's not "daddy's little girl" any more, and she needs help becoming the adult she and you both want her to become. You've done good, but it aint' over, brother! For either of you.

Loving someone is and probably always will be a learning experience for all of us. And no, it's not easy, but when did Christ ever promise us an easy time in this world? And also, it's the hard things that we learn from the best and most. It may not be much of a pleasure to go through them, but it seems to be necessary to get our attention. I think that's why the Lord lets us go through times like these? Just a thought, anyway.

Becky has a great heart, and you've done a very good job. None of us does a "perfect" job, unfortunately, but .... that's why Christ purchased our ability to be redeemed on that old cross. We err, and we don't stop doing that just because we come to Christ. I doubt any of us ever reach a point where we can't or shouldn't learn more, and obtain more wisdom and foresight. So welcome to the club of us fellow humans, brother and sister! We may not be perfect, but really, we don't HAVE to be. God, in His infinite wisdom, made us able to learn. Whether we do so or not is OUR decision, though. And He's given us so very, very much great advice and instruction! If we could only learn it all, and know when to use what, we might become "perfect," but personally, I doubt we'd ever be able to reach that point, even then. Just MHO, of course, but we don't seem to be able to eliminate ALL error. And Christ doesn't seem to require that of us. It seems that he only wants us to keep our hearts clean and as pure as we can, and continue correcting our paths as we go forward in this life. Truly, God and Christ really, really knew what they were doing when they made us as He did, and then, made us redeemable due to Christ's sacrifice in our stead. What a Lord we serve!!!! And we will never be perfect, but we CAN, if we try really hard, and keep ourselves humble enough to receive His will for us, do a whole lot better than we sometimes choose to do. And when we err, that's when we can most appreciate the value of redemption.

It's "fashionable" in today's PC dominated world, to never admit a mistake, but make "excuses" for it. That is totally the reverse of what Christ instructed us to do. He advised us to confess, and repent, and learn from our mistakes. What a wonderful advice-giver He is, even today, no matter what the world may try to foist off on us as an alternate philosophy! Truly, He must love us more than we sometimes love ourselves! There's a lesson in that, too, if we'll just learn it.

You've done good, but maybe not perfect. You always TRIED to do good, though. But none of us can EVER stop learning more and better things, including how to relate to each other, and even to our own children. Welcome to learning in the "school of hard knocks" buddy! At some point, we all find ourselves in that little school, and our children do as well. If there's ever been a "universal school," it has to be that one! But each one of us gets to decide whether to learn from it .... or not. You will. So will she. I know you both too well to think otherwise.

For many years now, I've come to regard real, honest humility as THE biggest mark of a true Christian. PC theology teaches everything BUT this! And look at what it has wrought on our nation as a result! And on so many individuals who've adopted it as their "religion" and a guide for their lives and actions!!!! You've just plain too honest and too loving to miss this particular lesson, both of you. God bless you both, and lead you where He wants you to be in this life, and in your relationship to each other. After all, swallowing one's pride isn't really all that difficult. It's mostly, just unpleasant to anticipate having to do it. The doing it is a lot easier than thinking about it.

Y'all kiss and make up now, ya' heah? I think you both may well profit greatly from this little episode. It's the hardest lessons that we learn the most from.

[smoked turkey]

Hi Charlie (Boaz) I am Mrs. Smoked Turkey. Stan just read me your original post. I so feel your pain. We have a son we have prayed for many years. I always had a plan for God to try. Finally, we prayed whatever it takes, Lord. Now that is hard because what if it takes...your imagination runs rampant. I still wanted to be an assistant to God in bringing our son back to Him but finally said I give him totally to you. God said get out of my way you are keeping me from working. Things changed somewhat. He is not totally there yet but he is working on it.
This is a scripture I pray for his 19 year old son, our grandson.
Jerimiah 29:11 "I know the plans I have for him plans to prosper, not to harm plans to give him hope and a future." I believe God does have plans for your daughter. It may take a while for her to follow those plans but know it is not a fault of yours. God gave everyone a mind to choose. Pray she will listen to God, not you and return. Now is when you most need to be in church growing in the word and letting people minister to you. She is a prodigal and you must be ready to meet her with open arms when she returns. Only prayer will keep her from the wrong crowd. Isaiah 62:6 God has put watchman on the wall.
I am asking God to put His mighty arms around you and give you peace. Hang on to that nail scarred hand. Don't turn from him. Satan is a liar and you will get through this if you walk holding God's hand. This has touched me deeply and I WILL pray for you.

[JimB..]

Boaz, I avoided posting earlier because you don't know me and I correctly assumed that your friends here would lift you up. What they are saying is correct, and you know it. Your daughter is in what my wife and I call the "**** in the house" stage, where she'll intentionally make things hard because it's her only path to additional freedom. Obviously this isn't the only thing going on and she also has more to deal with than most teens, so expect her to make more mistakes.

You've successfully raised a young woman who is willing to assert herself and make a decision rather than huddle down and weep while expecting someone else to solve her problem. Not saying that she made the best decision, but when you raise them to think you have to expect that they'll make mistakes along the way. You haven't failed, far from it.

When she was hurt she called you, if you've been praying for a sign from God this is it! She loves you and she needs you, more than she will admit for many years. An insecure man would insist that she say the words, but you don't need that, God has shown you what is in her heart. When she is angry or hurt or just lashing out at you because you just happen to be there, remember that you know what's in her heart.

Moving out was probably a mistake, but about all you can do is let her know that she's always welcome. Maybe invite her to dinner when you feel up to it, express interest in what she's got going on, and maybe give her a little reprieve during the day just as your friends have done for you.

Your role at this point is to be her rock, to be her safe place. You know that to do that you have to get yourself together. You haven't failed, you're just being forced to deal with a ton of changes all at once, and with daughters that's extra hard (I had no sisters, never knew how nutty teen girls were til I had mine). Step 1 is to get out of the bottle, there is nothing in there but pain and anguish.

Please let us know when you've stopped drinking, everyone here is pulling and praying for you. There will be pain, but it'll pass more quickly if you face it than if you try to hide from it, and most importantly you'll be available to help your daughter in this next phase of her life, and she'll need your help.

Sorry for the rambling, hope it helps, and I'll pray for your family.

[USMC87]

Hey Charlie, I am coming in on the back end of this and want to tell you that I have been down the same path before. I can say that God will let you go as long as He pleases and when He pleases He will bring you back to where you need to be. I pray all the time for you and Becky and can't say enough of how family hurts us the worst. Keep your head up and don't look back, There is only one thing to look forward to and that is meeting Christ face to face. All the earthly troubles we have will all be gone and we will dwell with Christ forever, I will nbe praying for this situation and I know God will move in His time.

[Char-Gar]

I will certainly be praying, but it would help to know who Becky is to you. Is she a daughter and how old is she? I was thinking she was your wife, until the school fight was mentioned.

[Boaz]

I will certainly be praying, but it would help to know who Becky is to you. Is she a daughter and how old is she? I was thinking she was your wife, until the school fight was mentioned.

I am sorry , you are 100% correct . I take for granted the times I have mentioned her that 'everyone' knows her . She is my daughter , 18 in December , She is adopted , I am a single parent . I take for granted most know here in the Chapel know her because of all the posts I put up .


Many think my 'wife' has left me , not so . Becky is my daughter . Thank you Char Gar .

[Boaz]

Received a couple of p.m.'s from confirmed atheists , all I got to say is ..gnaw at your own flesh . I ain't' in spiritual crisis . My trouble is my own . GOD is real ...talk to him . He will be more merciful than me . Go back and tell your master to ..... .

[JimB..]

Received a couple of p.m.'s from confirmed atheists , all I got to say is ..gnaw at your own flesh . I ain't' in spiritual crisis . My trouble is my own . GOD is real ...talk to him . He will be more merciful than me . Go back and tell your master to ..... .

You know God is real when you see that the devil wants you.

[Bzcraig]

Received a couple of p.m.'s from confirmed atheists , all I got to say is ..gnaw at your own flesh . I ain't' in spiritual crisis . My trouble is my own . GOD is real ...talk to him . He will be more merciful than me . Go back and tell your master to ..... .

My flesh has a response to this that would make many question my salvation. Just remember who their 'daddy' is Charlie and try not to take it to heart.

[buckwheatpaul]

Charlie, It is good that Becky had the E.R. personnel call you.....it is bad that she is not back home with you but she is of the age and her free choice has already taught her some major life lessons. Becky has a good foundation and she will eventually know her heart and as she grows up things will get better. Her situation is no difference than we grew up with our parents. It is normal but heartbreaking for us as parents.

Father, I am still praying that You will deliver Becky from the bad influences that has a hold on her. Please raise the fog so that she can see her situation for what it is. Please heal her physical injuries and protect her from the evil that surrounds her. Father, I am also asking for comfort and remove the concerns that Charlie is suffering from the wandering of Becky. Please take his concerns away and help him bridge that gap that has developed between them. Father, You are in charge and we almost never understand the situations that happen around us but You can lift the veil and reveal Your will to Becky and Charlie and I pray that You keep them safe and resolve those differences that have developed. AMEN

[Boaz]

I reread this thread when I got up this morning . I have caused many to worry about me and for that I apologize . I am good , I'm not having a spiritual crisis , never have . GOD is still there and still with me....always has been .
Haven't drank anything since I posted the thread , tired of that , was just a stupid thing to do anyway . I have done plenty of lay family counseling in treatment facilities , I'm not going down that dark winding road to nowhere .

It's just time to crawl back in the saddle and move on . Becky knows GOD , he will protect her . I want to thank everyone who has posted and those who contacted me by pm or phone . You have lifted me up , you caring and concern helped more than you know . Thank you .

Well tonight is bible study night at church , haven't been to church in 3 weeks . I will be there , got plenty of work to keep me busy . I'm wore out and tired of worrying , it's just time to give it to him and move on . Praise GOD

Thank you all
Charlie

[GhostHawk]

Now that is good news.

Brother Boaz you know you are loved. We know the pain you are feeling.
If we can help just talk to us. We are here for you.

Now, pass the word to becky that you have put the alcohol away.
That you are back doing the Lord's work. Trying to trust his will.
And watch the pieces fall back together.

Remember, that bird has flown the nest. It most likely won't want to come home. But it can come visit if you assure it that it won't be captured.

[Char-Gar]

Boaz....I am glad things seem to be smoothing out a bit. I know this must be a dreadful time for both of you. Being 18 is a very difficult time at best.

My daughter recently adopted a boy. He is 1 1/2 and she got him the day he was born. He is a delightful child and she is very excited as are we all. Still, there is a voice in the back of my head that keeps me on the edge of my seat. I am very pro-adoption and it works out very well in the vast majority of the cases. However, even the best parenting can't overcome DNA. I have seen some adopted kids go haywire in spite of all parents can do.

Of course, these problems are not limited to adoption. I have seen natural born children go haywire as well despite the best of parent circumstances. I guess the point in all of this, is don't be hard on yourself, this most likely has nothing to do with your parenting.

I take comfort and knowing that most kids will swing a wide loop as they move from childhood to adulthood. This scares the bejeezes out of parents and they think all is lost. Seldom are things lost for good. The vast majority of the kids come back to their early values after a time of flying loose from the cage. This is just part of growing up.

When things don't work out with kids and there is no coming home to values, and there has been positive parenting, it is usually a DNA thing or drugs. There are the truly heart breaking situations.

Keep us posted and all of you are in my prayers. Prayer does matter and prayer does work.

[kfd518]

remember the basics of your walk
Praying brother

[castalott]

Charlie...time to be a sea anchor... ships used to carry an ugly thing on deck called a sea anchor... When the storm came up you drop the sea anchor with a long line to the bow. The anchor made some resistance in the water. The ship was blown by the wind until the line got tight and turned the bow of the ship into the wind...which is the best way for it to withstand the storm. Throw your sea anchor out and weather the storm......

Dale

[GhostHawk]

Charlie we all fall and fail, many of us daily. The important things are to keep trying, keep trying to stay in the Lord's Will. And when something is too big for us to handle trust in the Lord.

Hang in there brother. Even sandstone can be worn, broken, scraped, carved with anything sharp. But given a chance it will endure. Don't trust your strength, trust the Lords.

[Blackwater]

Charlie, you've planted seeds within Becky, that I believe surely must grow. Many of the best Christians I know had their time of rebellion and willfulness. And yet, they became some of the finest examples of Christianity I know. Look at all those old WWII vets, and all that they went through. Most of us here can't possibly imagine, even, what all they did and saw and felt. Yet, so many of them were led to Christ and a lifetime of trying to serve Him, and learn to follow Him, despite all the horror and inhumanity they saw on the battlefields.

It's almost as if, if we want to get one thing, we have to endure its opposite in order to really understand and appreciate what we actually HAVE in this life. We're willful creatures, and I suspect many of us here had times in our past when we bucked like a mule, and had OUR way for a while, so we could LEARN finally and definitively just how important it really is to follow the immaculate direction and advice Christ left us to consider and learn from.

I believe Becky will find her turning point. I can't imagine her NOT doing so! God be with you both, and keep and guide and protect you, and keep you both from all harm. His love and mercy is truly a wonder, and at some points in our lives, we seem to HAVE to learn this the "hard way" for ourselves. Those are the lessons we tend to keep best.

[GhostHawk]

Brother 40 years I wandered in the wilderness alone, fighting the Lords way. Going my own way, and suffering endlessly as a result.

40 years I shied away from church and religion. And I still think 98% of all church's in America are not doing the job they are supposed to be doing. Mankind has turned Christ's Bride into the painted ***** of Babylon. And while there are good Christians in some of those churches they are too few. And those standing up front preaching, how many are preaching Revelations and the End Times Prophesy? 1 in a 100?

The rest are afraid they will drive their people away?

But that is my hangup, that is my cross to bear. And it weighs heavy on me. And I know I should turn the other cheek, I know I should forgive. But it is hard.

What you are going through is also hard, in a different way.
Your ex-wife, becky's mom could be another 10 years before she dies.
Somehow you have to let go, what will be, will be. Lay it at the Lord's feet.
Let him take your burden. His yoke is light.

All of us carry around our burdens, all individual, all pain and suffering from one point or another. All needless, let it go. Learn to love, learn to turn the other cheek, learn to forgive before it happens. Learn to understand.

Only God see's it all, the end from the beginning and the beginning from the end.
Only he can see that what is to come, and how we learn from our pain.

Trust him, his promises are kept. He is waiting for us with open arms. And he knows our hearts, what we feel, what we think.

There is no better friend and guide.

Go with God Charlie.

[Der Gebirgsjager]

Boaz--I read through the thread, and just don't have much to add. You have many friends that care for you and your daughter, and we wish you all the best.

I didn't see where anyone mentioned the Book of Job. The man's afflictions were terrible. Children killed. Everything taken from him. Friends that somehow thought his actions had brought the wrath of God upon him. But, in the end, God talked with him, and restored him to a situation in life better than what he previously had. I am not saying that you aren't right with God. I'm just saying read through the book. Perhaps there is some encouragement there for you. If there was light at the end of the tunnel for Job, there is certainly light for you.

I'll pray for you and your daughter. It seems like so many teens have to go out and experience life to find themselves and find out that they knew where they were all along, and return to the values they were taught. Puts me in mind of myself, who joined the Army and found out that they would take even less **** from me than my parents did. Three years of reality training taught me that my father was really my best friend, had leveled with me all along, and had been preparing me for life. Becky will be back.

May God bless you.

DG

[Bulldogger]

Stay strong brother. I can't add anything to this thread in terms of advice. I've not been a praying man for many years, but I still get my knees dusty when I think it's truly deserved/needed. I got my knees dusty just now at my desk at work and prayed for strength and comfort for you and Becky.
Alex