Prayers for my sister

[TXGunNut]

My little sister is in a tough spot, it seems she is tasked with making end-of-life decisions for our aunt. My sister visited her this summer in NE and apparently she is now my aunt's contact person for when things start getting dark. Well, phones started blowing up today. Our aunt has been in a nursing home for various reasons and was admitted to a local hospital this morning; her chances are no better than even and her attitude is poor.
Sis is pondering a trip to NE, only problem is our aunt's "friends" have been acting like a bunch of hyenas with the scent of blood in the air. My aunt has no family, only an older sister in MN.
If you're reading between the lines, you're right. Our aunt snubbed me badly at my niece's wedding several years back. She and another aunt decided I reminded them too much of my dad, who was dying at the time. I've forgiven her but won't forget. A few years later I flew to Denver with my mom to help make sure the other aunt was buried proper and other matters attended to. I suspect my checkbook will be more welcome than me in NE this week.
This ain't about me, even though I may make a fast trip to NE this week to make sure no one runs over my little sister. I was in her position with our parents and being tasked with those decisions is a burden I don't want to shoulder any time soon. My sister is a veteran nurse and did her time in nursing homes and ER's. She's teaching now because she's good at it and probably doesn't want to watch any more folks die.
Prayers for my sister are all I'm asking for here, my aunt is ready to die and quite honestly I doubt any one will miss her much.

[shoot-n-lead]

Prayer sent.

[Bzcraig]

These circumstances can sure bring out the best or worst in folks......prayers for your sister.

[TXGunNut]

bThanks, guys. Aunt's condition has improved. A lot of wisdom in your post, Bzcraig. My sister represents the best our family has to offer. If she needs my help they'll get a good look at the worst our family has to offer. I'm not really a bad guy, but that's our little secret, right?

[buckwheatpaul]

TXGunNut, I suggest that your sister would welcome your support. Having a sibling there might keep others from running over her. Be there for support and to answer her questions and concerns. It is good that you have forgiven your aunt. As often quoted we can pick our friends but not our family is true. You have done what is often difficult for me to do...forgive and I commend you on that.

Father, please guide and comfort TXGunNut's sister as she goes through the process of helping her aunt while she is alive and then to give her dignity when she passes. His sister has taken on a very difficult task and please walk with her as she tries to live up to her agreement with her aunt. Father, thank You for being there and please be with the aunt as she passes. Please be there to comfort and guide her niece as this event unfolds. AMEN

[jcren]

Prayers sent

[Pine Baron]

TX, Been there, Lots of patience and clear headedness are required. Prayers sent.

[square butte]

Prayer sent up for your sister

[Boaz]

Prayers for your sister and family .

[w5pv]

Prayers sent

[Skinny]

Godspeed for all involved.

Tough times bring out the best and worst in people.

Prayers for strength and peace for your sister and you as well.(Eventhough you said you didnt need it, it cant hurt :))

[Blackwater]

Prayers up here for both of you. These are the times that try people's souls, but they are SO necessary. Nobody said life was supposed to always be easy, but gee whiz! It sure gets crazy sometimes, and when someone in the family passes on, it CAN be VERY trying. My Dad left things very cut and dried, and I was his executor, and it was as easy as sliding off a wet log. But I've seen SO many where it truly tried the soul of whoever the executor was. The executor is really in command, within the laws at least, and when in command, one HAS to command sometimes, and let the consequences be what they may. The only real consequence we have control of is whether we'll feel like we did our best under the circumstances, or whether we'll regret our decisions. And it's hard amid ill will breaking out everywhere to stay the course and be fair, and execute the deceased's will as nearly as it can be discerned. But somebody has to make the decisions. Just pray and seek forgiveness for yourself, and you'll feel more like forgiving in the execution of all that ensues after a loved one's death. That's all the advice I can think of to give, based on the things I've seen in my time as an observer of touchy situations after someone's passing on. Go with God and you'll not have any regrets, unless maybe it's regretting you didn't know stuff that sometimes is revealed later. That's as good as it gets. Just make sure you sleep well, and it'll pass, no matter what reactions may come.

"Friends" who can't or won't honor the deceased, and only want the spoils, were never really true friends at all, in all liklihood. Good luck, and we'll pray for you and your sister both.

[big bore 99]

Prayers sent.

[USMC87]

Prayers for your sister and family, These are some very hard times to deal with.

[TXGunNut]

Thanks, all. Got most the cranky out of my system today, been listening to Christmas music on the radio this evening and it seems to be helping. I still don't know what my sister has gotten herself into. I doubt the aunt has a will so will hopefully take a pass on the estate business altogether. I've been handling estate business for the last eight years and I hope to be back in TX before they start looking for executors.

[Blackwater]

One little tip. If she doesn't take any protestations too seriously, she'll do a MUCH better job of executing the will as the deceased willed it to be. All she really has to do in most cases is let any protesters know that she isn't making the decisions, merely carrying out the instructions in the will, and trying to be equitable to all, as nearly as the will can be interpreted. And then, all she CAN do is let them deal with it however THEY choose to. If SHE does HER job well, it really doesn't matter whether anyone likes it or not. If they can't accept that, then they weren't very good "family" or friends to begin with, and thus, can't be allowed to matter. She's acting in good faith on behalf of someone who can't be there for themselves, and her duty is to the deceased, NOT to anyone living. It's not a fun position to be in sometimes, but it's critical. Elsewise, how can ANY of us know OUR wills will be executed as we dictate? So she's not just doing it for the deceased, but for ALL of us, in a way. It's a time when character and honor may be tested, but that's what life is all about, isn't it, ultimately?

PC theology says we are to grant everyone what they want. That's foolish to start with, because it's utterly impossible, and sooner or later, someone somewhere HAS to make the hard decisions. And when they do, they need to listen intently and fairly, and then, make the best decision they CAN under the circumstances that present themselves. After that, she owes nothing to anyone, and if someone chooses to let their feelings be hurt, it's OK to sympathize, but she's GOT to stand firm. That's the job of an executor. And FWIW, I've never seen an executor make any exceptions to a will and live to be proud of it, if that helps any. It's regretable that not everyone can be pleased, but it's unbearable to feel we've failed the deceased and sullied our own character in the process. Thank God there are folks who can be relied on when we cannot be there ourselves!