Jail is What You Carry With You

[WRideout]

In a job I once held, I was an addiction counselor at the State Correctional Institution, Pittsburgh. I provided treatment to drug and alcohol addicts in what is called a therapeutic community, or TC. I was only there a short time, but have been deeply affected by the men whom I have met. I would like to tell you about two of them, who made strong impressions on me.

John was a young man, twenty-three years of age, but his eyes showed the knowledge of experience lived before its time. He grew up too fast, and found himself in the company of others who introduced him to the life of drugs and crime. In treatment group, he stared unblinking at me while I reviewed the lesson of the day. One of the lessons had to do with moral choices.

Now he knows about the law; he does understand why he is here, but he believes his problem is in not properly utilizing the law to get what he wants. Even though he was convicted of a crime, and now wears brown prison clothes and lives in a cell, he has not taken his condition to heart. He has expressed on several occasions his intent to go right back to his old way of life upon release from prison.

So when we started talking about moral choices, he thought it was a good time to show how the law could be twisted in his favor. “The Constitution,” he said, “Guarantees my right to own a firearm. I believe I should have the right to own a gun when I get out. Everybody does, where I come from.” For him, the law was just another tool to justify what he wanted, regardless of the effects on society. He kept the portions of the law that pleased him, and if the law put him in prison now and then, well, it really wasn’t all that bad, and he wouldn’t be in there very long, anyway. It was a small price to pay for living exactly the way he wanted, even if that life he desired mired him in slavery to drug addiction.

Then I met Bill, another inmate. He is a bit older than most of the others, although I don’t know his exact age. He was a Peer Facilitator, having completed his treatment program, but with some time left to serve. He spent his days working with the other inmates in the Therapeutic Community, teaching treatment groups, observing the meetings, and generally making sure that those involved in treatment use the “Community as Method”, which is to say that they are learning to be socialized, and to care about something bigger than themselves. I talked with Bill from time to time to take advantage of his greater experience at working with this type of group therapy, and to gain greater understanding of the inmates’ mind-set. During one of our discussions, we shared the fact that we were both Christians. Bill said once that he occasionally has moments of sadness, because of his past, but understands that he now has the opportunity to do something positive for other inmates, because he understands their experience.

For me, the contrast was striking. Here were two men, both incarcerated for crimes they had committed. The younger man would never be free, no matter where he may be standing, because jail is something he carries around with him. His attitudes and beliefs will likely compel him to break the law which he despises, and return him to prison. The older man has found freedom behind the prison walls and concertina wire. Although he is sad, it is a holy sadness that acknowledges his wrongdoing, and turns him to the wonder of God’s grace, freely given.

Wayne

[Preacher Jim]

Great post, we all carry the past sins even when God has forgiven us. It is the choice we make to use them for good to avoid them again or let them hold us prisoners in our own minds.

[Boaz]

Jim's right . Our past should contain many lessons of our individual faults and weaknesses . If used as a reference it can be a benefit in our present and future .

[Der Gebirgsjager]

I really enjoyed reading your post. Thank you.

[Blackwater]

Oops! Duplicate post! Sorry!

[Blackwater]

Best synopsis of a glaring example of human free will I've ever seen. And much to be learned from it. I too have been in quite a few prisons, and seen exactly what you describe. There ARE a few people in there who have seen the light. They have to be very judicious in where and how they show it “inside,” lest it bring them to be beaten and/or raped and all manner of despicable things. It's a strange world, and if Tolstoy is right, and we can tell the character of a nation by the content and nature of their prisons, we're in trouble, which isn't a surprise to anyone here, I know.


So what's the difference between the Johns and Bills of this world? From what I've seen, it's simply humility. I've become convinced that humility is the one, single most important and necessary element in coming to light, and STAYING within God's grace. I say that because, in part, of what I've seen in those prisons. There, we have a glaring example of how all of us work, and why we tend to work the way we do. Once one gains insight from the prisons, it's easier to see how “good folks” falter and fail to do their best, too. The ways we do it “outside” differs from how it works “inside,” but only in degree and specifics, and it's usually MUCH more subtle and difficult to spot. But it's there, if only we can notice it.


Christ, the ONLY perfect person to ever walk this earth, set a literally Masterful example for us, and He was always humble in his dealings with everyone, from the mighty to the lowest of the low. I don't think that this was an accident, but His way of showing and modelling for us how He wants US to be. He always seems to have thought deeply before uttering the words he did. Boy! Could we all learn from that part of His manner! Is there one among us who doesn't fall short in this regard? If so, I'm not among their ranks! I try, but sometimes fail, and I always think, but not always all the way through before speaking. I think I'm in big boat in that regard.


We all have a free will. That's a given. How we choose to use that, once we've come to light, can vary widely among us, and not one of us can claim righteousness, other than in specific examples when we're at our best. And who among us doesn't get tired, or whatever, and fall short, and wonder why we did something or said something he way we did afterwards? It's hard facing our own faults and shor-comings, but it's always advisable and profitable if we do, just like Bill did in the OP. How can we “fix” our faults and short-comings, if we don't begin by simply admitting and dealing with them? We can't.


And so many of us use the time we spend working to excuse our failures to teach our kids the way in which they should go, and disciplining them so they can understand better, and limiting where they can go and who with, so they aren't unduly tempted in this world, that's so full of alluring temptations now. So …. it all works out, in the end, very much as we ALLOW it to, often from our acts of omission moreso than the ones we do. Yeah, there are occupations that leave us with little time at home, and when we finally get there, we're tired, and not always “happy,” but …. so what? That doesn't effect the necessary things that are required in raising a family successfully. It can't. But the good news is that with a strong father figure, who obviously cares for them and disciplines them justly and consistently and lovingly, good kids CAN be raised, especially if we examine the situation and can change who they associate with and where they go. A strong, good wife is necessary for this, of course, too, in our absence.


So all the choices we make work together for the good or ill for us. “All things work together for the good of those who love the Lord.” Even if one or more of our children “go bad,” a good and righteous father and mother can and usually will bring them back.


Life is full of trials, pitfalls, snares and dangers. None of us escapes many of them. It's how we deal with them that matters. And being humble enough to deal with them with courage, faith and honesty, will always be our great strength. Christ modeled that for us, so now, all we really have to do is do our best to follow his lead. We won't achieve it, but we can do SO much better in SO many cases. And it ALWAYS works, and pays off, in the end. If folks did that, we might not even HAVE prisons any more! And surely, we'd have a VERY different nation now, too. Amazing, isn't it, how it's all really so simple at its core, and yet, how difficult we seem to find it to achieve? Satan truly IS at work in this. It's up to us to choose which way we go in every instance we meet in our days here. A humble spirit helps SO much with it all, if we'd simply use it.

[wv109323]

WRideout
What is the percentage of John's to Bill's?
I expect there are many more John's than Bill's due to the repeated offenders.

[USMC87]

Really enjoyed the read, Thanks for posting.

[Boaz]

It was a good story and reminder . Thank you WRideout !

[Pine Baron]

WRideout, Thanks for this amazing, yet common story. Who among us does not have moments of regret and guilt?

[WRideout]

WRideout
What is the percentage of John's to Bill's?
I expect there are many more John's than Bill's due to the repeated offenders.

I try not to keep score on things like this. If one is saved, that's better than it was before. Nowadays, I volunteer with Prison Aftercare Ministry in my home town, and our numbers are small, however I believe the effect of keeping even one convict on the straight and narrow has an exponential effect on society. BTW, I'm not criticizing, just explaining.
Wayne

[Blackwater]

God be with you, WR, and bless your efforts. Prisoners aren't really quite as tough a nut to crack as most folks think, once you find their weaknesses and vulnerabilities, and find a real inroad into their psyches. And you can't really believe their initial protestations. They're really just more probing of you, the "counselor," than they are real expressions of true belief on their parts. I believe that all people really know, somewhere deep inside, that God really IS real, and that Christ really DID die, even for them in their deepest and worst sins. Satan usually has their psyches pretty well controlled, but Satan is no match for Christ, and His words. All Satan can do is provide resistance.

And from my own experience, it kind'a helps, at least sometimes, to approach them obliquely. The direct approach tends to get them to reflexively erect their walls of doubt, while easing into the matter, with just the right questions, CAN make some inroads. And often, it's a lot like mining. You have to do a lot of digging to find gold, and it's similar with men, and maybe particularly with prisoners. But NO man is immune from the word. How we approach them can make huge differences in the effects that are wrought. And, of course, they have to learn to trust you, and that's not easy for anyone behind bars to do. Their world is a world of doubt and pragmatism, and that's not conducive to considering serious things like salvation, etc.

But keep plugging away, and likely as not, when you least expect it, you'll get results. And the results you get in there can really affect a lot of folks, too. The most difficult thing for them is finding other "friends" when they get out, because most "good folks" won't associate with them. Church groups can help with that. Any man who accepts Christ needs some help at first, and prisoners and former prisoners maybe especially so.

I admire your work and perseverance and courage, WR. I'll keep you in my prayers.

[WRideout]

Thanks, Blackwater. When I go into a prison to meet an inmate, that is the most peaceful I ever feel. One of my "mentees" (one who is mentored) moved from Pittsburgh to my county, and we helped set him up with housing. He has since started his own business, and is doing well. I count him as a Christian brother; lately he has been coming to our PacMin meetings, and wants to help others, God be praised.

Wayne

[Boaz]

That's what it's all about Wayne . Thank you for caring .

[Blackwater]

Thank YOU, WR! Folks forget how often and effectively the salvation of one single person in prison is "paid forward," as they like to call it today. It's like ripples on a pond, spreading out, and having influence well beyond their starting point. And evil works the same way, unfortunately. But good is stronger than evil because that's the way God made it all. And one single conversion can make a great difference in so many, many more beyond that, and in their lifetimes, they can magnify what you've aided in bringing about so many, many times beyond that one, single event, that it truly matters MUCH more than we will probably ever realize personally. But that's simply how God works, and created things. Good is magnified many times, and evil just eats at individuals, and is much harder to spread, really, despite appearances and perceptions sometimes. What you're doing is some of the toughest work a Christian can do. I thank you for it, and for your faithfulness in it. "It ain't easy, but somebody's gotta' do it!"

[Lucky Joe]

Thank you WEideout and all posters, encouraging to know there are folks out there like you.