The wife

[rl69]

My wife has 3 disc in her neck pressing against her spinal cord.this has been going on about a month. Two doctors want to use traction and drugs to fix the problem. One wants surgery, the wife wants surgery, so October 20 she will be going under the knife. ( unless I kill her first )

my wife is the toughest person I know. Many years ago she had a partial hysterectomy. Last year she had the rest removed,with some scare tissue, that evning she cooked me dinner. The next night we where at our grandsons football game.

This is hurting her like nothing I've ever seen. And worse yet it nothing like she's ever had to go threw. And im her favorite target, that's fine I can take it. But it's hard not to react and keep my mouth shut.

i pray but I don't know what to ask for. I give it to Him but I watch her mill around in pain.

Sorry for the for the rambling post I'm at a loss at what to do and I needed to say some of this out loud

thanks for listing

[smokeywolf]

Sickness and in health.
If yelling at you or nagging at you distracts her from the pain, be happy you can do that. If she wasn't so tough, you'd be a far worse fix.

[Bzcraig]

My bride has had two failed back surgeries (Tarlov Cysts, crazy and pretty rare to be symptomatic) going back to 2002, so I can certainly empathize with you. What really got to me was the very frequent complaining. In any case, I pray for patients, against a hard heart, and purposely don't respond unless it's worse than normal and very often just walk over to her, touch her and pray out loud for her. As far as surgery goes, check out the Dr very well and ascertain his/her success rate for that particular surgery. You cannot go too far in checking out a Dr. AND never dismiss, demean or belittle regarding the pain. don't ask how I know, tough lesson.

[SSGOldfart]

We'll remember her in our prayers

They got my neck back on track, I had lots of pain,and my Neuro doctor took a CT scan and found I had broken my neck some time along the way???
She sent me to Physical therapy the first day They measured my range of motion and in pushing my head straight it popped my neck, scared the doctor doing the RM test, but it cleared the pain I've lived with for last 8 years and I've regained a little movement in my left leg,36 trips later,most of my neck problems are gone. Tell her to think really hard before letting them cut, as we get older other problems can come from surgery,like strokes and should. Get well soon.

[leeggen]

Rl69 you are really blessed, blessed you are not in that pain. I have been there and have the scar to prove it. Total discectomy on C4/C5, the disc was pushing on my spine and I let it go for too long to have surgery that it had effected the nerves. I was numb from my shoulders down to my feet. That pain she has is real, very very real. Nothing will releive it except some major pain med and then you set and drool on yourself. No sleep ,no appetite nothing helps get your mind off of the pain. You have my sympathy but your wife she has my prayers. Put yourself in your wifes shoes and then walk that mile with her, bad part is unless you have been there you just don't understand.
Guess the best way to understand is have you ever smashed your finger or thumb with a hammer, then think of that pain 24 hrs aday 7 days aweek. Not trying to been mean just look at how you would feel in her shoes.
CD

[shoot-n-lead]

Prayer sent.

[Greg S]

Dealing with the pain and reduced mobility is tough, we've probably had simular experiances and if not, knock on wood. As the discomfort continues, our bodies ability to cope with that threshold diminishes as the so call gas tank of acceptance is emptied. It hurts and maybe humiliating but accept it for what it is. This is not really your wife and take i in stride. PM sent.

[Boaz]

Please help rl69's wife Lord . Give her relief from her pain and stay close to her during this time while they wait for her surgery . Guide her doctors to diagnose and treat her condition to heal her through you . Help the family with your presence and comfort them as they support her . Thank you Lord . Amen

[WRideout]

Heavenly Father, heal rl69's wife in body mind and spirit, and give the whole family your peace. Grant her doctors wisdom, and bless all the medical personnel who are caring for her. Amen.
Wayne

[Hickok]

Amen.

[square butte]

Prayer sent up for your wife - and you

[garym1a2]

Praying for you and her.

[slim1836]

Praying for a successful surgery and an end to her pain, my both of you endure.

Slim

[Pine Baron]

Prayers sent for healing and relief for your wife, and patience for you.

[jcren]

Prayers sent for peace in yalls household. Fear not, I had a crushed disc between c6 and c7 that was misserable, had it fused in May and am now shooting my bow getting ready to hunt. Modern med is amazing.

[rancher1913]

do the non invasive (no surgery) first, I know a lot of people that had spine surgery and regret it now. try the alternatives before you go under the knife, it should be a last resort.

[rl69]

Thanks guys I needed to vent. Our harts are in a good place as far as the big picture is concerned. The lord has a plan , and it's a perfect plan. This we know and believe. It's in the moment that we struggle. And the truth is its my fault. Once I get a gut full I snap back, that's when it gets interesting! The other day I took a glass of water to the chest. Wednesday I had to take a knife away from her before things went to far

the truth is I married a women just like me strong willed independent stubborn and mean. the pain the drugs and the alcohol or intensifying those qualities that I have always loved about her. The more she hurts the harder it is for her to do the things she want, wich is making her bitter and angry, wich is understandable. I just need to find a way to not respond.

[rl69]

Sickness and in health.
If yelling at you or nagging at you distracts her from the pain, be happy you can do that. If she wasn't so tough, you'd be a far worse fix.


Thank you this help a lot. It frustrates me that I can't help her.

[rl69]

Rl69 you are really blessed, blessed you are not in that pain. I have been there and have the scar to prove it. Total discectomy on C4/C5, the disc was pushing on my spine and I let it go for too long to have surgery that it had effected the nerves. I was numb from my shoulders down to my feet. That pain she has is real, very very real. Nothing will releive it except some major pain med and then you set and drool on yourself. No sleep ,no appetite nothing helps get your mind off of the pain. You have my sympathy but your wife she has my prayers. Put yourself in your wifes shoes and then walk that mile with her, bad part is unless you have been there you just don't understand.
Guess the best way to understand is have you ever smashed your finger or thumb with a hammer, then think of that pain 24 hrs aday 7 days aweek. Not trying to been mean just look at how you would feel in her shoes.
CD

Two years ago I was thrown from a horse, and was busted up pretty bad. I thought my neck was broke. ( it might have been) two long years later I have almost full mobility and no pain.(mostly) so I do understand and I pray that nobody has to go threw that.

Thank you for sharing your experience and empathizing with Linda. I didn't think you where being mean.

[smoked turkey]

It is kind of odd to say, but I think the caregiver (you in this case) has a tough job in trying to keep things going while the other spouse is coping with the illness and pain. Yours is a very important role. Sounds like you are up to it. I am praying that the Lord sustains you both and that the problems with her pain will be alleviated. I also pray that this trial will draw you both closer together and even closer to the Lord. Amen.

[smokeywolf]

Thank you this help a lot. It frustrates me that I can't help her.

We all get frustrated when we can't end the pain or suffering of those we love. Be those pains caused by spinal issues (I've got them too), kidney stones, migraine headaches or just a common cold.

[historicfirearms]

I had neck surgery about seven years ago. As soon as I woke up after surgery I was glad I had done it. Titanium plate and three cervical vertebrae fused. Now I'm starting to have the same pain and numbness but the neurosurgeon says it's not in my neck. I maybe crazy. Still glad I had the surgery, I'd do it again in a heartbeat. It's like a toothache that gets so bad you will do anything to fix it.

[Preacher Jim]

Lord pore your healing grace on RL's wife and you determine the best healing for her. Lord we ask you to do the healing but know you will choose the best method for it. Lord hold her in your loving hand and give her your wisdom to follow your leadership.
in Jesus name
Amen

[Blackwater]

Prayers still up for both of you. I had a cervical disc fused, and know what she's going through, and I have to wince at even the thought of it all. Keep the faith,and we can all get along without your posts here for a few days. Take the time to find a good neurosurgeon, and call and talk to others who have had similar work done, to get their comments about their surgeon. This often helps determine the results one gets in the end. Mine were amazing! Not all are, and there's no guarantee for any of us, obviously. But good diligence before the decision CAN and usually will, yield the best possible results. We're praying for you both. Keep the faith and trust. It'll work out because it can't keep on like it is!

[rl69]

Well today is Linda's birthday. It's been a good day! lots of phone calls,lots of attention! The truth is the past two or three days have been getting progressively better.

Thank yall all for your prayers

[Boaz]

You still have my prayers .

[MaryB]

I went through 2 years of the arm pain, hand pain, dropping things because I lost strength... had neck fusion after trying everything and it was the best decision I made. Instant relief for the ice pick sliding down the bone pain in my left arm...

[Boolit_Head]

I understand completely what you are going through. My wife has degenerative disk disease in her neck and back has had a couple of surgeries to relieve pressure on the nerves. It's been like a light switch turning off the pain for her but every few years another problem area pops up. Most recent one was after a car accident and she has had pain in her shoulder and arm from 2 herniated disks. She went to the surgeon that dealt with it before but after the surgery and there was no relief she got to reading the reports. Seems he did not deal with the problem area and she had developed a sarcoma. So we've spent the last few months dealing with radiation treatment for the cancer. The schmuck surgeon has never even told her she had cancer, she took the reports that caught her eye to her regular PA who advised her to seek treatment immediately. Thank goodness MD Anderson is in town and they dove right in to head off any more issues with the sarcoma. So we've been through all that and now she has to start the process to deal with the neck all over and find a doc who will do it even though it is dealing with the area where the sarcoma is.

She's a tough old bird as well so all I can do is to be there for her and try to get her to not hurt herself.

[Blackwater]

That's awesome and very encouraging that her pain is receeding! But she's still in all our prayers, and the family as well. This ain't no small thing. These things CAN, at least rarely, kind'a heal themselves, but it surely isn't likely or common. Will be praying she'll be one of those exceptions. But even if that's not in God's plans for her, pray that she'll get help through a good surgeon and God's amazing grace. Keep the faith, now more than ever.

[rl69]

I wanted to give y'all a update and thank y'all for your prayers.

The wife is still hurting that hasent changed. but our harts have softened.

I came late late Monday,burned out tired with two T's and I hadent called. we snipped at each other a little about it.but we both stoped before we went to far. We prayed and ate almost in silence. After my shower she came and crawled in my lap and we jus sat there quite and still and just hugged each other. It was a good day for sure.

[smokeywolf]

With that kind of love and mutual support you can weather anything.

[Blackwater]

Amen, Smokey. For SO very many today, that simple wordless gesture would be impossible! God's at work in this somehow. He often doesn't let us see His reasons until much later, but He is always working in all things that happen to us. I didn't used to believe that, but it's true nevertheless. God bless you both. Your faith and trust and hope will see you through it all, and it'll make you both better people on the other side of it when it's finally worked out. God bless you both.

[rl69]

Thank y'all for your prayers there working.

Linda is having her surgery Thursday. Her and her niece will go to Huston in the morning for her pre op. She will get a motel room and I will meet her there after work.

I ask for prayers for safe travels and to guide the doctors hands

[rl69]

Boaz as to your offer thank you verry much but I hope that when we meet it will be under less stressful situation. And on this side of the dirt :) .

Sorry I couldn't remember if I responded to your pm

[Boaz]

I hope and pray she does well .

[buckwheatpaul]

rl69, It sounds like she is tough...but she still wants the surgery....Father, please bring help and pain relief for rl69's wife. Guide the physicians that will perform the delicate surgery as well as the therapists that will help her recover. Take any concerns from rl69 and his wife so that they can see the path to complete recovery. Father, I hold them both up to You because You are the great Healer and all is possible through You. Father please heal her....AMEN

[daniel lawecki]

Please Lord help all involved in their time of need.

[Pine Baron]

rl69, it sounds like she is tough...but she still wants the surgery....father, please bring help and pain relief for rl69's wife. Guide the physicians that will perform the delicate surgery as well as the therapists that will help her recover. Take any concerns from rl69 and his wife so that they can see the path to complete recovery. Father, i hold them both up to you because you are the great healer and all is possible through you. Father please heal her....amen
amen.

[Blackwater]

Nobody is tough enough to bear this kind of pain. It's WAY beyond the normal knocks and bumps we get in life. And it's constancy in never letting up to catch our breath makes it all one can see or think about or perceive after a while. It's a lot like Jerry Clower's story about the coon hunt, where ol' Marcel said, "Just shoot up here amongst us! One of us HAS to have some relief!" And this makes it harder to reason it all out. When in pain, one tends to grab at the first thing one thinks of that MIGHT help. This has led many to do the wrong thing in simple desperation, and fighting that tendency is VERY hard to do, and I'm not entirely sure any of us really do that. When you want and need help RIGHT NOW, haste looks awfully good. But unnecessary delay can be just as bad when something serious is wrong. So it's a VERY difficult position to be in on either the patient's or their loved ones' side.

God be with you and bless the surgeon's efforts to help. It's amazing what some of them can do these days. They literally transform many lives now from unbearable suffering to normalcy, or something close to it. God bless the surgeon, too, and his staff and nurses, and guide their hands and thoughts. Amen.