Wimmens

[starmac]

Is it normal for women to have memory loss, and sometimes just get downright cantankerous as they age??

Yesterday morning she was getting ready to go out of town with a girlfriend for the weekend. I told her to give me some money before she left, as I was going to an auction. She gets the money for me, but tells me, that if I buy anything big, something else has to go.

Well I am out at the end of the driveway bs'ing with a couple of neighbors when she shows up tonight, and my old, but new to me 1 ton flatbed dump is sitting in the driveway. She takes one lookand ask what I am getting rid of, I said nothing and reminded her she said anything BIG, I pointed to the kw and told her that is big, this here is little. It seems thay also lose a lot of their sense of humor the older they get too.
Now she is trying to claim that she said if I bought ANYTHING something has to go. I called her on it and ask if that was the case, why did she give me the cash, again NO sense of humor.
I don't know why I have kept her around so long, must be because of the chili she makes. lol

[Sweetpea]

Didn't you know, they can change the rules anytime they want, because they have appointed themselves the referee in this game!

[Finster101]

"Is it normal for women to have memory loss, and sometimes just get downright cantankerous as they age??"


When did age have anything to do with it?

[dave524]

Is it normal for women to have memory loss, and sometimes just get downright cantankerous as they age??



The memory loss is selective, when mine goes off she will bring up stuff I did 20 years ago.

[MrWolf]

One of my wife's arguments for why we are getting divorced ( constantly changed as I refuted each one) was that she wanted a hamburger one night years ago I didn't get it for her. Heh, fight that argument...

[victorfox]

The memory loss is selective, when mine goes off she will bring up stuff I did 20 years ago.

^^^^THIS!!! Can't remember what I asked her 20 minutes ago...

[wlkjr]

First off you let her be in charge of the money. And when she says what big thing are you getting rid of, just say YOU. Keep in mind I am on my third wife.

[condorjohn]

I call it the Woman Factor. It's the only totally random variable in the universe. The equasion is 1/0.

[GhostHawk]

Wimmenz Rulz!

A first person to invoke Wimmenz Rulz controls all. Can change rulz at any time for any reason.
B Wimmenz rulez 1 = there are no rulz. Period.
Wimmenz Rulz 2 Rulz are whatever the person who invoked them says they are.
C When in doubt person who invoked wimmenz rulz wins as a matter of form.
D Anyone one of the female persuasion can invoke Wimmenz Rulz at any time for any purpose non verbally. (in their head)

Conclusions, men will lose every single time any woman wants to win.
She will invoke Wimmenz Rulz and that is that, end game.

The only way to win is before she opens her mouth for you to declare yourself female and invoke Wimmenz Rulz. Then explain it to her, and win a free trip to the nut house. But you win.

The only way to win against those of the female persuasion is to not play.

[victorfox]

Wimmenz Rulz!

A first person to invoke Wimmenz Rulz controls all. Can change rulz at any time for any reason.
B Wimmenz rulez 1 = there are no rulz. Period.
Wimmenz Rulz 2 Rulz are whatever the person who invoked them says they are.
C When in doubt person who invoked wimmenz rulz wins as a matter of form.
D Anyone one of the female persuasion can invoke Wimmenz Rulz at any time for any purpose non verbally. (in their head)

Conclusions, men will lose every single time any woman wants to win.
She will invoke Wimmenz Rulz and that is that, end game.

The only way to win is before she opens her mouth for you to declare yourself female and invoke Wimmenz Rulz. Then explain it to her, and win a free trip to the nut house. But you win.

The only way to win against those of the female persuasion is to not play.

with today's gender ideology, declaring one as female is pretty easy, even if your beard meets your chest hair. Of course, the side effects are unpredictable...

[WILCO]

She gets the money for me, but tells me, that if I buy anything big, something else has to go.

No sympathy for self inflicted wounds.





One of my wife's arguments for why we are getting divorced ( constantly changed as I refuted each one) was that she wanted a hamburger one night years ago I didn't get it for her. Heh, fight that argument...

Classic sign of a mental defective.
Get tough. Hire an Attorney and go nuclear.
Scorched earth policy. Life is too short.

[StolzerandSons]

Next month I will be married for 23 years(1st and only one) and I still say:
Understanding women is like describing the taste of the color, seven.

[edler7]

You have obviously lost your ability to read minds- an essential skill in any marriage.

See your doctor immediately!

[dverna]

I will never marry again. Woman are just plain NUTS. I love them dearly but will not get hog tied to one. Came close twice to getting remarried but managed to smarten up in time.

[popper]

47 yrs for me. Talking to you is selective, talking to GF on phone is mandatory. Hearing from you is selective, to you is mandatory, even from the other end of the house. Same with memory, etc. You do realize that diamonds, Valentines, anniversary's, Mothers Day are all their inventions. Started back when they were allowed to vote, been trained by their mothers since then. Then there is the ME generation that has really screwed things up. Oh, yea, glass ceiling thing too.

[dtknowles]

Whatever. I expect you knew exactly what to expect and what you could get away with and what the penalty would be. Then you come whining here :lol:

Tim

[MT Gianni]

Well I think she is right, go to her clothes and shoes closet and start tossing stuff.

[johnson1942]

when you marry a women you marry 28 to 30 to 31 of them,depends on what month it is. they all have a tape recorder built into their head with a very fast replay button on it. it would be nice when they woke in the morning along side of you and they would say what woman they are today. remember their are 28 to 31 of them sleeping next to you. we could just say then the right things to say to woman number what ever it is. younger men havent learned this yet.

[JonB_in_Glencoe]

hmmmmmm, all my ex-girlfriends had an incredible memory...in fact the last one, even remembered things that never happened...I got lucky and cut that one loose early ;-)

[starmac]

Whatever. I expect you knew exactly what to expect and what you could get away with and what the penalty would be. Then you come whining here :lol:

Tim

No ones fault but yours, if you can't tell a joke from whining, and no I will not put them in purple for you, get over it.

[dtknowles]

No ones fault but yours, if you can't tell a joke from whining, and no I will not put them in purple for you, get over it.

if it was a joke it should have been in off topic and humor not our town :-)

Tim

[Geezer in NH]

They be crazy!

[bbs70]

175042

[GhostHawk]

Johnson1942 is probably correct.

Years ago I heard Bill Engval the comedian say that every morning he woke up, rolled over, kissed his wife, then apologized for the mistakes he was sure to make that day.

I tried it but I think my wife heard the same thing so it did not work as well as I thought it should have.

[Parson]

51 years here and that's all I'm going to write

[xs11jack]

47 years here, and I will venture a post that may or may not get me wounded, or divorced, or murdered, or something. It's like this. A man's world is compartmentalized in neat rooms, one for home, one for commute, one for work, one for hobbies, etc. A man kisses wife goodby, goes down the commute corridor, to the work room and after work reverses the pattern. Are you ready for the woman's view? Picture her standing in the middle of the worlds larges arena. As she looks around, everything in her entire life is visible. Looking to the left are the kids and everything they have ever done, looking to the right is the husband and EVERYTHING he has ever done. Behind her is everything she has ever done. She can see with 20/20 clarity the time you mailed, not handed, the anniversary card three days late. Even the time when her dad wanted to shoot you right between the eyes because the old "We had a flat tire" trick didn't work. He found out because he took her into the kitchen and asked which tire and then took you outside and asked which tire. You're dead! Anyway that is the two worlds of men and women.
Ole Jack

[Minerat]

She said anything Right. I'd go into the shop and get a 9/16" nut and give it to her to throw away. That qualifies a anything, Right!

Best be able to run fast thought if she's like mine. I'd catch it in the back of the head when I walked away with a comment about not being a smartash. 30 year and counting.

[Rusty W]

45...never been married... I just want to know with or without beans?

[Markbo]

Wimmen...can't live with 'em... can't leave 'em chained up in the garage.

[NavyVet1959]

All women are crazy... It's just that some are a lot crazier than others...

Our daughter is off to college and my wife is taking over her bedroom not that nearly everything is moved out of there. She was setting up a 40" 4K LED monitor for her laptop so that she can watch these foreign soap operas and news that she's always watching. She started complaining about the phone not working in there. I told her it should work, I just need to correct the wiring to the plug that I had disable due to our daughter's propensity to talk on the phone for all hours of the day and night. So, she wants a phone hooked up and wants it to work with a headset so that she can talk while doing something on her computer. I proceed to get an old Western Electric Model 2500 phone that I had a wired headset for so that she would have the best sound quality possible. She insists that she wants this newer 2.4GHz cordless phone. I try to explain to her that that particular phone has always caused her WiFi connection to drop, so she should use an older 900Mhz phone instead. She gets mad and says that she doesn't want any old dirty stuff.

So, since I'm a Dirty Old Man, I left and went to my reloading "shack" and spent the rest of the day and most of the night. I sent her a text message saying that I was going to get FILTHY drunk.

The good thing about losing your hearing as you get older is that you don't have to hear women as much. It's not like anything they ever say is really that important anyway.

[Wayne Smith]

One of my wife's arguments for why we are getting divorced ( constantly changed as I refuted each one) was that she wanted a hamburger one night years ago I didn't get it for her. Heh, fight that argument...

That pretty much defines desperation!

[w5pv]

52 years here

Vote Trump

[Hardcast416taylor]

I must be doing something terribly wrong. My old Frau and I have been married 48 years and been thru our share of both good times and not so good times.Robert

[Bookworm]

All I've got to say is this -

Last Christmas, Santa brought Mrs Bookworm a nightshirt. Printed on the front is "Queen of Absolutely Everything".

It fit perfectly.

[JSnover]

Seems the real problem is a disagreement between a man and a woman over what constitutes "big."
Not the first time that's happened.

[starmac]

Too funny.....

[Hogtamer]

"the taste of the color seven." excellent expression of the inexpressable. sorta like unscrewing the inscrutable. 41 years here

[Lonegun1894]

In my case, it has taken me 36 years of not finding one I can't live without to keep me from getting married. Then along comes one that makes me realize why the rest didn't have a chance, but we will cross that bridge if I live long enough.

[mold maker]

53 in a row here. She expects, and I respects.

[leeggen]

I thought you said buy something big, I'm sorry you know I have selective hearing your the one that diagnosed it! Then run!!!
CD

[Southern Son]

I have done something wrong, I don't know what, but I am getting the silent treatment, it only took me four days to realise it was the silent treatment. She thinks that the silent treatment is a punishment. I thought it was an answered prayer.

[xs11jack]

Here is a couple that might take your mind off the pain for a minute or two.

My friend told his wife he had the body of a Greek god.
She had to explain to him that Buddha is not Greek.



A man walks into a flower shop and says, "I’d like some flowers, please."
"Certainly, Sir," says the clerk. "What did you have in mind?"
He shrugs, "Well, I’m not sure… I uh… I uh… I uh…"
The clerk says, "Perhaps I could help. What exactly have you done?"



After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice."

[Don Purcell]

39 years and 3 months for us. Had some very rough times but never strayed from each other and that means a lot. She told me the other day that she hopes we live to be at least in our eighties and die at the same time. I told her maybe it would happen after a night of wild sex and she smiled her usual seductive smile. That smile always gets me even now after all these years.

[NavyVet1959]

She told me the other day that she hopes we live to be at least in our eighties and die at the same time.

I'm thinking the reply should have been, "Well, *that* could be arranged..." :)

[Bob in Revelstoke]

If a man is walking alone in a forrest and he says something out loud and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

[JSnover]

If a man is walking alone in a forrest and he says something out loud and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?
No, just happy.

[Don Purcell]

NavyVet, I'll hold that one in reserve.

[MrWolf]

If a man is walking alone in a forrest and he says something out loud and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

Hehe I like this!

[NavyVet1959]

If a man is walking alone in a forrest and he says something out loud and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

A corollary to this might be:

Q: If a man is in the forest and has no idea where he is or how to get back, is he lost?

A: No, without a woman to tell him he's lost, he's just having fun and exploring new territory.

[Hardcast416taylor]

The Silent Treatment.


Two old friends were sitting on a park bench talking about anything to come to mind. "I think my Wife is dead" said one. "What makes you say that"? said the other. "Well, I still cook for myself, the dishes are piling up in the sink and the s*x is still as cold as it was 10 years ago"!Robert

[edler7]

I have done something wrong, I don't know what, but I am getting the silent treatment, it only took me four days to realise it was the silent treatment. She thinks that the silent treatment is a punishment. I thought it was an answered prayer.

Amen, brother ! I stepped in it twice before noon yesterday, blissfull silence since.

[Ballistics in Scotland]

One of the few things we can say without fear of contradiction about women, is that about half the population, other than kids and don't knows, are. Even tiny girls have a sense boys don't, that being lovely ought to cut them a bit of slack on their failings.

There is an early Peter Sellars film, "I'm all right, Jack", which might not have travelled. In it he is an aggressive, left-wing trade union shop steward. At one point in negotiation one manager says to another that as long as they are talking about one or two big issues, no matter how vehemently, you are still negotiating, and a don't know whether it is cause or effect, but it is true with women.

Feminists often quote the first verse of Rudyard Kipling "The Female" as an example of male chauvinist piggery:



TheFemale of the Species


"When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in hispride,
He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside.
But the female, thus accosted, rends the peasant tooth and nail,
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male."

But it goes on to something quite different. Men, in politics and war, are aware of dealing with people very much like themselves, and can reach compromises, even find friends. They even understand "Imagine yourself in his place," at least outside politics. But for women in areas of public life which Kipling, in 1911, thought unnatural for them, their ideas and principles take the place of their children, whom they must protect regardless of the cost to anyone else. Anybody who endangers them has to take the fall.

"When Nag the basking cobra hears the careless foot of man,
He will sometimes wriggle sideways and avoid it if he can.
But his mate makes no such motion where she camps beside the trail,
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

When the early Jesuit fathers preached to Hurons and Choctaws,
They prayed to be delivered from the vengeance of the squaws.
’Twas the women, not the warriors, turned those stark enthusiasts pale,
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

Man’s timid heart is bursting with the things he must not say,
For the Woman that God gave him isn’t his to giveaway.
But when hunter meets with husband, each confirms the other’s tale,
The female of the species is more deadly than the male.

Man, a bear in most relations - worm and savage otherwise, -
Man propounds negotiations, Man accepts the compromise.
Very rarely will he squarely push the logic of a fact,
To its ultimate conclusion in unmitigated act.

Fear, or foolishness, impels him, ere he lays the wicked low,
To concede some form of trial even to his fiercest foe.
Mirth obscene diverts his anger - Doubt and Pity oft perplex
Him in dealing with an issue - to the scandal of The Sex!

But the Woman that God gave him, every fibre of her frame
Proves her launched for one sole issue, armed and engined for the same.
And to serve that single issue, lest the generations fail,
The female of the species is more deadly than the male.

She who faces torture for each life beneath her breast,
May not deal in doubt or pity - must not swerve for fact or jest.
These be purely male diversions - not in these her honour dwells.
She the Other Law we live by, is that Law and nothing else.

She can bring no more to living than the powers that made her great
As the Mother of the Infant and the Mistress of the Mate.
And when Babe and Man are lacking and she strides unclaimed to claim
Her right as femme (and baron), her equipment is the same.

She is wedded to convictions - in default of greater ties;
Her contentions are her children, Heaven help him who denies! -
He will meet no suave discussion, but the instant, white-hot, wild,
Wakened female of the species warring as for spouse and child.

Unprovoked and awful charge - even so the she-bear fights,
Speech that drips, corrodes and poisons - even so the cobra bites,
Scientific vivisection of one nerve till it is raw
And the victims writhe in anguish - like the Jesuit with the squaw!

So it comes that Man, the coward, when he gathers to confer
With his fellow-braves in council, dare not leave a place for her
Where, at war with Life and Conscience, he uplifts his erring hands
To some God of Abstract Justice - which no woman understands.

And Man knows it! Knows, moreover, that the Woman thatGod gave him,
Must command but may not govern - shall enthrall but not enslave him.
And She knows, because She warns him, and her instincts never fail,
That the female of the species is more deadly than the male."

[Reverend Al]

http://i1221.photobucket.com/albums/dd466/Reverend_Al/I%20disagree%20with%20my%20wife_zps35ogknon.jpg (http://s1221.photobucket.com/user/Reverend_Al/media/I%20disagree%20with%20my%20wife_zps35ogknon.jpg.ht ml)