Lessons from Jail

[WRideout]

First published in the newsletter of Grace @ Calvary Lutheran Church

Okay, I’ll admit it; I have some prejudices. For instance, I don’t trust people from New Jersey. As individuals, I don’t have anything against them, but when I hear that Jersey accent, and pick up on the big-city dialect, I just have this feeling; which is actually rather odd, since I grew up in California, and the only New Jerseyites I knew of were in the movies. So when I say I have prejudices about inmates in jail, I actually have something to base it on, because I have been a volunteer at the Allegheny County Jail for the last few years, on a pre-release program for inmates called Helping Open People’s Eyes, or HOPE.
Now in my mind, most inmates are somewhat uneducated, and speak the street lingo of the neighborhood they came from. At least, that’s what I thought. So when I was leading a group discussion a few weeks ago, I made an analogy between race cars “drafting” each other on the track, and being pulled along by the inexorable will of God, whether or not we are completely sure we want to follow. I thought this analogy would appeal to the group, and be understandable. So the next week I was a little surprised when one of the inmates, Brian by name, said to me, “That phenomenon you described last week, it’s called a wake vortex.” He went on to tell me that when he had been in school he had studied physics, and had been interested in some of these aerodynamic problems. Brian is one of those guys that doesn’t talk much, so all this came as a real surprise. So much for my prejudices. He went on to say that when he went before the judge to talk about parole, he asked to stay in jail, in the program, rather than be released on parole.
So here I am, in my superiority, volunteering at the jail to teach people who are my equal intellectually, but who have made some mistakes in life. And I think about the parable of the two men who went to the temple, a Pharisee and a sinner. The Pharisee prayed and gave thanks to God that he was not like other men, while the other beat on his chest and prayed repeatedly “Lord be merciful to me, a sinner.”
There are sinners in jail and on the street, in church and outside the church. Every week we recite the confession of sin during worship, and every week we need it. When I sign in at the jail, one of the blocks to fill out is “reason for visit”. I always write in HOPE, which is exactly why I am there. God offers all of us hope, no matter our condition in life. As members of the body of Christ, my prayer is that God’s grace will abide in us, and in spite of our imperfections, we may serve as a light to people in darkness.

Wayne

[Boaz]

Thank you Wayne , a very good lesson .

[Blackwater]

Great post, and quite true. I kind'a went through something along those same lines, and when I did, it was a real revelation to me. There's a lot of truth in that old phrase, "There but for the grace of God go I." And most of them, at least while incarcerated, CAN be reached. Many pretend to be inurred, but I always just chuckled. They knew what I meant. They were seldom bashful about telling you what they were thinking, that's for sure. If you didn't have a comeback that was appropriate, they figured they'd "won." What they won I'm not sure, but that's how they seemed to regard it. But in jail or prison, I guess that's about all they had to bolster their illusion that they were "superior" than those who could leave any time they wanted.

Each one has a different attitude, and in prison, attitudes are important. They help establish the "pecking order" inside. So it's really hard for them to NOT be haughty, contemptious and hateful. It helps keep the depredations on them to a minimum. Image is everything inside, because it's their only real defense ... unless of course, they've managed to obtain a shank.

You guys who work in our jails and prisons really have my respect. It's a fruitful place for your work, but most are pretty tough nuts to crack. And the most surprising thing is, you can't really tell who you're reaching and who you're not. They'll often surprise you with who really responds and who doesn't. It's a very humbling experience for those I've known who've done that work, and been sincere about it. Sadly, some just aren't. I think some are there just for the money they get from the state or wherever, and are just going through the motions and imitating what they think they're supposed to be. You guys who do good work there truly have my respect and admiration.

[Pine Baron]

Hey...I resemble that remark! :kidding:

[Der Gebirgsjager]

Well, don't get too comfortable in the jail environment. They'll all tell you that they're innocent, want to be your friend, and get you to do them a favor. Sure, I know that there are exceptions--but they are the exception, and hard to pick out from the others.

[Blackwater]

Yep. A few drop the pretension after they know you're onto them, but even then, some try to maintain it. I think they're just practicing for "next time?" After a while, you can at least get a good feeling for who's lying and trying to manipulate you, though. But no matter what, you can't ever drop your guard or trust too much. Some of those guys are GOOD! But some are pretty honest, actually, at least when you're 1 on 1 with them and nobody else is around. And some even ask questions. This is usually those who've never seen the inside of a church, or practically never. Those give you something real to work with, if you simply have the will and knowledge to do so. I didn't have nearly enough "ammo" back then when I had those chances, but I did all I knew how at the time. It's amazing who really hears and responds and who doesn't. But working with human beings in pretty much any capacity will always be full of surprises. It's just the nature of our humanity.

[WRideout]

I have found many times in my work with convicts, both in and out of jail, that the ones I have given up on, are actually the ones that God reaches; and vice versa. Ed Carlson, the retired missionary who helped start Prison Aftercare Ministry, once said that God calls us to be faithful, not successful.

Wayne

[MrWolf]

Hey...I resemble that remark! :kidding:

Same here!

[Blackwater]

That's a great quote, WR, and a good principle to remember. Thanks.

[rancher1913]

I worked for 15 years in the state pen and would be around the inmates after those ministries, most of the ones they did at our facility were big weekend food fests and the inmates called them pray for food events, they would laugh about it and say all we got to do is pray for these guys and they will keep feeding us. I am sure there were a few of them that wanted to be there for ministries but the majority were there for the dominoes pizza and subs.

what I felt the best about that job was teaching them a usable skill and watching them understand that a skill was something no one could take away from them. had several that were disrespectful, uneducated, and immature, and after working for me for 10 years could troubleshoot plumbing, electrical, and hvac problems and fix them on there own (with a officer present just to monitor the tools) they learned that if they had respect for others, they got respect and of all the inmates that went through my program, all got good paying jobs do to having a skill and none came back to prison.

sorry for the slight drift, just proud that maybe I helped a few and maybe when I get to be judged it will count for something.

[Blackwater]

That's not drift, rancher, it's just another example of how we can help folks find real faith. When they have nothing in life to look forward to, and no hope of ever having anything but a very low class/beggar's life, it's very hard for them to deal with the "little things" like salvation. "Little things," of course, refers to the way THEY think of it. Once they see some hope, THEN some big door become movable, and they are much more easily brought to the light. It's still tough, but it's easiER. Hope is the first part. People who have no hope, however irrational it might be in actuality for those who really understand it, are just very difficult to reach.

I had one parolee who was probably an alcohol syndrome baby at birth. He was slow intellectually, but not stupid by any means. He also had as close to NO education as anyone I've ever seen. When I got him on parole, he couldn't even read a ruler! He was also an alcoholic, and couldn't drink "just one," and when he drank, the NEXT thing he wanted to do was jump on a cop or deputy and fight with him. Of course, that didn't go very well for him. He'd grown up with a mom and dad who beat him and were almost always either drunk or very beligerant and violent toward him. He stole so he'd have SOMETHING to eat! He got tired of the beatings he was taking, and found a big pasteboard box and put it out in the woods and slept there and called it "home." Then stole what he needed, or at least tried. He got pretty crafty at it.

Didn't take long for a guy like that to make it to the "big house" just so the locals wouldn't have to put up with him any more! Well, I got him, and 2 more at the same time. Got them all 3 a job with a local contractor I knew. Gave him as much info on them as I had, and he put them to work. This contractor had been a deputy and special deputy before, and wasn't afraid of the devil himself. He provided some good discipline and surety of how they'd be dealt with that they all seemed to need, too. One of the other parolees had some college at UCLA. He was fairly smart and knew it, and regarded himself as "superior" to the rest, but recognized he had to do his "due diligence" for getting caught, if nothing else. The 3rd was a real brute of a guy, about 6'1" and nearly as wide, and as solid as a granite rock. He once had a buddy moving (evicted) and the only possession he had that he wanted to save was a freezer full of food. He got this 3rd one to tie the freezer onto his back with a bit rope, and he literally lifted it and walked about 1/2 mile to the buddy's new shack. I was always glad I toted a .357 around this one, and chose my ammo for deep penetration. He'd be a real toro to stop! And he'd been shot and cut before.

Well, Larry, the first one I mentioned, wound up being made supervisor of the other two, even though Penn, the contractor, had to teach him to read a ruler! He was the only one who showed any concern for Penn's tools and the job they were there to do. Larry was honest, and when asked, he'd give Penn the simple truth, straight up. For the first time in his life, Larry saw a light at the end of the tunnel. A while later, he was over at some relatives' home, when a tornado hit here. Thankfully, they're rare here, but they were in a house sitting up on blocks, and the tornado went by very close to them, but not a direct hit. It was enough to lift the house and turn it on its foundation, though! When it passed, they went outside to reassure themselves they were still alive, and one of Larry's relatives said, "I'm goan go git me a beer! Larry, yew comin'?" Larry, to his everlasting credit, said, "No, but you can drop me off so I can take my antabuse!" Sadly, Larry needed to be dressed down good about ever 4-5 weeks, so he could maintain his perspective, and more clearly keep his goals and potential in sight. I explained this to my replacement when I left parole, and that man said, "If he makes it, he makes it, if he doesn't, he doesnt'." And sure enough, about 6 weeks later, I called just to see how things were going, and he'd just taken Larry back to the prison. I've never been able to find out where he is now or how he came out or what became of him, but I still pray for him sometimes.

It was amazing and humbling to see how much difference a little hope can make in a man's life, and how little some really have. How to reach them is the main thing we have to learn, and that's always different in each case. Mostly, you have to find out what MEANS something to them and why it has meaning. Then, you've at least got a chance for some real communication with them that might make a difference, or at least nudge that door and flake the rust off its locks, so that it might be opened at a later date. Some things just take time with these people, but .... what else do they have, really?

Prisons are NOT what most think of them as being. But we "moderns" have many illusions that need to be dispelled. This is just one.

[w5pv]

Some will accept your help and guidance and the others don't want help and are the ones that need it most.