Losing my mind and I'm not sure why...

[davidheart]

I'm writing a prayer request for myself, because I know if I don't I'm going to be thinking I'd like to.

In short, we've been very very tense around here at the house. It's so cluttered I can't even pin an exact reason why. I've been very short tempered lately, and I don't like it. My wife has been very short tempered lately. The kids have been absolutely bonkers and now even one of our dogs has decided it's a good time to start attacking our farm animals for no obvious reason.

I have a small business and work from home, but I can't focus clear enough during the day to properly care for my clients. This is because I'm getting *knock knock* on my door regularly during "business hours" or I can hear my wife screaming at my kids through the wall of my office and it's distracting. I do GREAT work for my clients. ((Internet Marketing)) and my clients love me. We're not rolling in cash, but all of our financial *needs* are cared for. Our bills are paid and we have food on the table. What more can a man ask for? (Proverbs 30:7-9)

I'm a student online for Christian Studies... yep... Christian Studies. Like... to be a pastor... and this semester I fell behind on my schoolwork. The normal work I turn in as one professor put it is "doctorate level work" and I'm a 4.0 student. I LOVE studying the scriptures. Genuinely LOVE. I hope to use the knowledge I gain here to move into bi-vocational ministry, missions work, and/or to use my knowledge in scriptures to be a Godly statesman. But in the beginning of this semester I was locked out of my online portal because I needed to make a payment to the business office. Then the business office was closed for several days and the result was I'm absolutely flooded with past due assignments for the rest of the semester... and a critical one is due no later than before tomorrow morning. (It'll be a late night.)

A few moments ago, I stepped outside to gather some wood for the fireplace and the same dog chased after another of our animals to attack it. I tried to call it to stop and it wouldn't listen. I ran after it, slipped in the wet mud (it's raining outside), and landed hard in the gravel on my right tailbone. I'm in a fair amount of pain right now, I have work up to my eyeballs and need to get this assignment done. In the meantime I'm contemplating **killing** this dog (Not good) and I'm trying not to lash out at my family because I know that won't help anything.

I want us to have peace... and when I step back to survey everything, it's not as bad as it could be. I don't know why we have so much tension in our house and I feel it may be spiritual.

Please pray for us to have peace and for me to have wisdom and clarity.

Thank you.

[osteodoc08]

Prayers sent. Life can be a chaotic mess sometimes. Hang in there.

[jcren]

Prayers sent

[rl69]

Wow what a day (weak month) I'm going to post a message I heard the other day. I know you don't have time too watch it right now but when you can watch it I believe you might be going threw something much the same .

[shoot-n-lead]

Prayer sent.

[castalott]

Sincere Prayers for Peace, Love , Mercy, Forgiveness, Understanding, Help, Hope, Healing, Faith, and Patience. Please read that Prayer Aloud with me...

Dale

[Boaz]

I'm a bit different , get a handle on it . Every day is a struggle . Problems have piled up . Settle down and figure out solutions , don't fight it ......futile . Clear your mind and think about it , there is an answer. He will put no more on you than you can bear . In the meantime I will pray for you , life is hectic , he may test you .......but he will never temp you . Slow down .

Lord please help David , please guide him and give him strength to listen . Show him what he should do, be with him and his family . Please help him . In Jesus name I ask it . Amen

[9w1911]

Nothing like a good healthy spray from the garden hose to prevent the dog chasing anything. With that said make a runner for the dog, tell everyone it must be leashed on the runner at all times until its relaxes. Just one less thing to worry about.
That said you need a vacation.

[rl69]

Before I post the link I want to apologize. I'm trying to dig a spec from your eye and ignore the log in mine. I'm sorry

this message starts off slow. he is tripping over his words because he is still fighting with his pride. Hang in there the rubber starts hitting the road around the 11 mm mark

Jason Taylor is truly a man of God in 7 short years the bar none has goin from a few men to having two services God has blessed this church greatly

https://m.youtube.com/watch?autoplay=1&v=djNDkEAfPec

[rl69]

Sorry wrong link this should be it

https://m.youtube.com/watch?autoplay=1&v=7czfIpF1gXo

[Boaz]

Thanks rl69 , good sermon , been to the Cowboy Churches . Helped bury good folks . Been some what of a cowboy myself , worked with old cowboys from the early 1900's . Worked on the slash L ranch , Rucker Ranch , Wilmont Ranch . Knew Boat Brooks , talked about times after the great trail drives . My grandfather was born in 1867 during the civil war , he and his brother were REAL cowboys during the reconstruction period in Texas . Drove herds to Kansas in the 1880's and 1890's . I Knew Dick Burney .......just an old cowboy born in the 1890's , old in my time but had many stories . Heck there were many . I understand cowboys , for a brief time I was one . I love David , I want the most for him . Being a cowboy is a state of mind not a vocation .

[JonB_in_Glencoe]

Prayin' for ya...

When Life gets chaotic, sometimes you need to take a minute...Step outside yourself and look at the blessings of your life.

[Mica_Hiebert]

Sounds like life to me. I recommend rehoming the dog if you don't want to shoot it. You will never train or beat that nonsense out of a dog once it decides it is fun to chase stock. I Pray the lord give you peace of mind, and give you patience with your family while you juggle work and school.

[Boaz]

THAT'S IT ! We have all been there many times, PRAY PRAY . Give it time .

[Boaz]

GOD does not work in our time .

[OS OK]

The dog is just reacting to the chaotic home situation. Yelling really gets pets turned on nutty like, they feed off the negative energy and don't understand what has happened to the normal serene atmosphere at home. Satan is targeting Christian families hardcore here these days. Keep centered in Christ our Lord.
Put on the full armor of GOD. Ephesians 6, Our struggle is with spiritual forces in high places. Spiritual warfare can be brought in the home by one individual, though the weight seems to be on your shoulders…you might not be responsible for its presence.
May our Lord Bless and Keep you and Family.

OS OK

[dilly]

Sounds like you have a, lot on your plate. You sound hard working and very dedicated, definitely goal oriented.

To that end, if your goal is to be a pastor, don't take on so much that your family life suffers. In the qualifications for a pastor in 1 Tim 3, your children must be "in submission with all reverence." Many people are surprised when they learn raising good kids are a requirement for being a pastor but a Bible degree isn't. Don't let yourself get disqualified in God's eyes by trying too hard to get qualified in man's eyes.

Other than that, carry on. You are busy but you are busy doing worthwhile things. It will get easier, and it will also probably get harder at some point, too. At least you will be that much stronger for it, praise God.

[Bodydoc447]

Prayers lifted up for you and your family.

[smokeywolf]

Rig up a trolly line and tie the dog to it. Don't keep him tied to that thing forever; just until you can get lives and tension straightened out. This will be much better for the dog than a bullet. Also consider that a dog that is suddenly acting out is doing it because something has triggered it. Lack of attention, a female in heat close enough for him to smell; something is causing his sudden change in behavior.

If kids are teenagers, their behavior is normal. They focus all energy on getting what they want, while you and Mom have to be very unpopular and focus your energies on giving them what they need. If the kids are younger, time-outs work pretty well. Especially if they have to do it standing in a corner. If they move from their corner or turn around, time-out starts over.
If you have a chance, give them a quote from the Bible that pertains to their life and make them copy it 20 or 30 or however many times you think is appropriate. I always preferred a creative form of punishment, as if it works on them, they will remember it and use it on their own children.

Be comforted to know that tough times pass. I've seen a lot of them. Tough financial times, tough career times, tough family times, tough emotional times; sometimes all at once. Things will eventually get better.

[Blackwater]

Prayer rendered for you and the family, but I also have a suggestion. You need to get away, preferably outdoors amongst nature, and have some real quiet time. Just you and nobody else but God. And it needs to be a couple of days. The kind of work you're doing is conducive of everyone getting on everyone else's nerves. If you don't get away by your lonesome self sometimes, it's only natural to succumb to what's around you all the time. Succumbing to ANYTHING is never good. Go camp out by a river. There's something about running water than instills a mindfulness of our real position in life, and the nature of our quest, that generally does us great good, just being present there.

None of us is a rock. We're affected by all sorts of things, and being more or less confined with a small group of people, even those you love, always generates friction and friction then generates ill will, strife, and all the bad stuff you're experiencing.

Go get away from it all before you explode. A couple of days won't sink your boat!

[Hickok]

Davidheart, if you were one of Satan's children, he would be leaving you alone, because he already has you.

I say this from experience, you are doing the work God has called you to do, and the devil is throwing things at you, and your family. He knows he can't have you, you are sealed by the blood, but he can try to disrupt, confuse, and hinder you and your family in your work for the Lord.

Sit together with your wife and pray. Read aloud Psalms from the Bible in your house. Denounce Satan from your house, your lives and your family, vocally aloud together with your wife in the name of Jesus Christ.

You have this authority in the name of Jesus Christ, use it!!!

I will pray for you and your wife in the name of our King and Savior Jesus Christ for peace and calm in your lives.

[Half Dog]

Lord please help David , please guide him and give him strength to listen . Show him what he should do, be with him and his family . Please help him . In Jesus name I ask it . Amen

Thank you for wording a prayer. Amen.

[JSnover]

Davidheart, you had a lot to say about the problems, about your business, your clients and about your studies but very little to say about your family. This is not an accusation, just a question: Is it possible that they feel neglected? Have you become too busy for them, or have they gotten that impression? Perception is reality. Examine your reality as if you were seeing it from their perspective. If the kids are "bonkers" and your wife spends a lot of time literally screaming at them (presumably with no effect), where are you in all of this? Hard work is its own reward but working too hard can be a recipe for disaster.

[country gent]

Its been a long winter cooped up inside. It may be a simple as cabin fever. Get outside and get some ecersise and most of all fresh air. Take a little time to notice all of Gods gifts ( this is a great time of the year for this as new things are starting to emerge). Take a little time to watch a stream flowing by, the birds and animals as they move about. Clear your mind heart and body. Take sometime to think things thru. Your dog may just be looking for attention same as the children might be. If you dont have carbon dioxide detectors in the house get some, carbon dioxide from a furnace or other heat source can cause issues. But a little fresh air and time spent refreshing your minds might be all thats needed. You Sir are in my thoughts and prayers

[davidheart]

I thank you all for your prayers, advice, and support (and I watched the video). I wasn't able to reply yesterday as I stayed up until 5AM working. Now I foresee this evening being another late night. But definitely feeling better today. I read all of your posts in prayerful consideration.

I spoke with my wife and we're coping better today with the craziness. We have the dog either locked up in the cage or he's in my office with me. (He's settled when he's in my office, actually sleeping right now.) The kids were a little more peaceful today and I was able to get plenty of work accomplished too. Very tired though. This evening may be a late night, but I'm not pulling another all nighter tomorrow.

It's funny y'all mention getting away. I actually planned a solo backpacking trip a couple months ago coming up soon here. It'll be good to get out in the woods, clear my head, prayer, journal, and breathe. My wife is completely supportive and in agreement that I need to go have some time with God. I firmly believe the tone of the husband sets the tone of the house, which is why I asked y'all for your prayers.

Please do continue to pray and I thank y'all for your help and advice.

[rl69]

Glad to see you in better spirits

how did you do on your paper?

[davidheart]

Glad to see you in better spirits

how did you do on your paper?

Still working on it this evening. The last paper I was supposed to do in this series was supposed to be 3-5 pages long. The topics covered within this one are far more detailed and I didn't realize it until I dove into it last night. I'm already at a 7 page research paper and it'll probably be 10 before I'm finished, plus I apparently have to create a powerpoint presentation and a mock brochure in addition.

I'm drinking a stout cup of espresso right now. I'm so ready to go to sleep, but I can't yet. My wife asked me when I was finally going to catch a break because I have this paper and two slightly smaller ones to turn in to catch up on, plus this week's schoolwork, and my business clients. We also just picked up a new client today as well.

I'm legitimately excited for Sabbath.

[buckwheatpaul]

davidheart, It really sounds like you, your wife, and the kids plates are really over-running. With that said:

Heavenly Father, I come to You to ask for healing of the causes of the stress for davidheart, his wife, and his children. Please guide them to that peaceful place so that they can realize that all is possible through You. Help them to remember that You are there to help shoulder their problems and that they only have to ask. Help them to remember that when they give their problems over to You that they will receive peace. Father, I ask this for the davidheart family. In Jesus name I pray. Amen

[USMC87]

Prayers sent.

[Boaz]

Life gets hard , problems pile up , things just happen . Sometime it looks hopeless . We all understand , we have all been there . There comes a time when you have tried to handle it on your own and just can't get there from here . We can't handle it all on our own , prayer , seeking council and turning it over to GOD is brought back to us time after time. Yet we keep doing the same thing.
More than glad to hear your getting it worked out , there are many here praying for you and your family . Thank you for letting us help .

[buckwheatpaul]

davidheart, It is important to remember that God does love you and wants you succeed! He is sad when you are troubled and asking for his help is all that is necessary. Remember that satan is the cause of all of pain and unhappiness.....brother pray, pray with your wife, and pray with your family! We, your Cast Boolits Family, will continue to pray for you and all of the members and their friends that need our help!

[Andy]

Praying for peace in your life and household.

[Col4570]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2yNJaKF9sXA
Take time to read this it may slow you down to stop and smell the roses.

[Blackwater]

This is pretty easy to say, and MUCH harder to do, especially when your livlihood depends on it, but at some point, a man has to ask himself if he's willing to keep living as you are now, and die at an early age from the accumulation of fatigue and "bad juices" that build up in the body when you're constantly harried as you seem to be. And I realize you can't just stop doing your work at an arbitrary point, too. But somewhere, there's an answer to your situation. You just have to allow yourself a little time, and maybe see if the wife has some good input.

You're obviously a very good man, and I suspect you're already half way there toward getting it all worked out. Will continue praying for you and the family. Many of us have gone through times when we worked TOO much. Sometimes, it's a real necessity, but at some point, we HAVE to make adjustments, for our mere survival if for no other reason. We were never created to work like you are for very long at a time. Just be sure you don't put off finding a solution TOO long! It COULD cost you your life. I've seen it before.

[DCP]

Davidheart, if you were one of Satan's children, he would be leaving you alone, because he already has you.

I say this from experience, you are doing the work God has called you to do, and the devil is throwing things at you, and your family. He knows he can't have you, you are sealed by the blood, but he can try to disrupt, confuse, and hinder you and your family in your work for the Lord.

Sit together with your wife and pray. Read aloud Psalms from the Bible in your house. Denounce Satan from your house, your lives and your family, vocally aloud together with your wife in the name of Jesus Christ.

You have this authority in the name of Jesus Christ, use it!!!

I will pray for you and your wife in the name of our King and Savior Jesus Christ for peace and calm in your lives.

Powerful words here,yes powerful words.
Words I needed to hear

Thank you

[buckwheatpaul]

davidheart, I pray that you had a better day today than yesterday....still praying for you brother!

[davidheart]

Went to "sleep" at 3am this morning, woke up, drank some cold coffee, shot a couple 22 hornet reloads outside, and then went to work. Still sitting at my desk working.... It's 8:30pm. I had a mild anxiety attack earlier today. Had a conversation with my wife after snapping at the dog for peeing on the rug. He's housetrained and goes for walks regularly... I have no idea why he'd pee on the rug.

Come 9-9:30PM I'm putting everything down no matter how progressed or not I am and I'm going to "relax."

Thank y'all for your prayers and words of encouragement. I know this time will pass... just trying to push through it, get caught up, and return to a normal schedule. Then I'll be able to think clearly enough to see if there are any areas which need to be addressed so this doesn't happen in the future.

[Blackwater]

Like I said, I suspect you're already half way to where you want and need to be. And I don't know the situation, but just to consider at least a possibility, you seem to be a perfectionist - something I know a little about myself - and if so, FWIW I found that I actually did BETTER work when I condensed things down to their essentials, rather than worse work. AND, I could do more of it, too, so it was a win/win situation. Don't know if that applies to your situation, but it might be something to consider? Good luck, and you have some mighty good folks praying for you. That should give you some real confidence you'll get it all worked out.

[Preacher Jim]

all the advice i could give has been stated. an old pastor told me when i was going through a time like yours to quit looking at the forrest and cut one tree at a time. he was saying quit trying to do everything and focus on one thing at a time. when i did this i was caught up in a week and able to keep up. praying for you cause when this much comes the Lord has a lot of work for you later.

[Boaz]

Good advice Jim , One thing at a time .

[skeettx]

Praying for you and ALSO have the CO2 levels checked in your house
YES the vent pipe and other items may be causing you and your household to
react differently
Mike

p.s. in the mean time, open some doors and windows and let the house air out

[Boaz]

Help David today Lord . Lighten his load and be with him and his family . Thank you Lord . In Jesus name I ask it . Amen

[davidheart]

Praise God. As of Monday it's like a seriously heavy burden has been lifted and I've been peaceful. I didn't want to speak too soon, but here we are Wednesday morning and I'm feeling great. The family also seems to have calmed down... and almost nothing has changed in regards to responsibilities or work burden. The pressures are still there... it's just as if things are being handled more peacefully now.

I got a B in one of my classes (my first B), an A in the other. My work came out >>perfect<< in the B class but I was given the lower grade because I was a week late turning it in. No other marks against. I'm going to cast up some boolits this morning then get to work. I did some school work this morning for the final week of the term and plan to have a very productive work day today, finish about 6pm, then spend some time with my wife and kids. All in all, very peacefully.

Of course I'm no stranger to chaos so please continue to remember us in your prayers. Pray no bad news comes in later today and that our family is protected from sin and from chaos. Praise God & Thank you all!!

[Boaz]

Thanks for getting back David . We all have spells of insanity (lest I do) when everything comes at you at once . Glad things have quieted down .

[buckwheatpaul]

Davidheart...good job....glad that the stress is less.....still praying for you brother! Paul

[Blackwater]

Thanks for letting us know, David. Sometimes, all that's really needed is a change of perspective, and being just a tad lighter on our own selves, and I know nothing that can help bring that about in jam-packed troubling times like simple prayer. I suspect you've just learned a great lesson that will serve you your whole life if you just let it. Life is a long series of lessons, if we but let it be. Don't ask how I know that, though! [smilie=l:

[rl69]

Continuous prayer

[davidheart]

I wanted to give y'all an update. Things have definitely taken a turn for the better lately. This past week I took a hike on the Appalachian Trail to clear my head for a few days. Definitely was needed and the LORD helped me to sort some things out while I was on the mountain (literally). He showed me I had my priorities set backwards and needed to spend more time with my family, less time with my work.

He also showed me some areas in my life He had not asked me to do, but I was taking on myself because I felt it was something I "ought" to do as a man.

Sunday was a recovery day from the hike (very sore muscles and I was incredibly hungry!) but I was able to attend church and received a good word. Spent time with my wife and this week is starting off very well. I let a "problem" client go and I feel comfortable with it even though that'll slightly decrease finances, the stress of that client wasn't worth it. Furthermore, I don't remember if I mentioned, but last term's school ended and I've been able to maintain a 4.0 GPA. The next term started today, all of my books arrived on time, and after reviewing my workload I'm very content and confident.

I guess the only bummer is that I told my wife today I wanted my first 1911 for my 30th birthday (April 19th) and she was... less than enthusiastic at the prospect of purchasing another gun when finances are tight. Oh well, back to the drawing board! I'm content with my SP101. :D :D

Thank you all so much for your prayers! I really do appreciate them. I'm sure hard times will come up again (and possibly this week?) so please pray one final time for me to be able to handle things which come up with wisdom and peace. If the LORD lays anything else on your heart I appreciate it.

[Boaz]

Glad to hear things are leveling out !

[Blackwater]

David, prayer can't fix things for folks unless their hearts are open and receptive to it. Thank YOU for being open enough to accept God's saving grace. We did out due diligence for you, as we're required and advised to, but it's YOU who had the simple openess to let God's grace inside, and THAT is the final factor that determines the effects of our prayers on your and your family's situation and lives. So thank YOU for just being humble and open enough to let our prayers take effect.
,
There's really no "magic" in prayer. It's really a simple expression and negotiation with God about things going on around us. Sometimes, we ask for something God can't give us because it'd interfere with his higher purposes that we will never know in this life. He knows the past, the present and the future, and loves us, and sometimes that means we NEED to be humbled and brought to our knees, lest we perish or that much of our lives be wasted or ineffective. When we finally get to our knees, it's funny how we see so much more than when we're standing tall and alone. God truly DOES answer our prayers, and loves us, and wants us to be happy and wise. Sometimes, he just has to drive us to our knees so we'll open our eyes and look around us, and finally SEE what we need to see, but had always missed when we were standing tall and alone. It's good to have someone around who'll chasten us when we need it, so we CAN be happy, no matter what might befall us.

The way of the world is finite, and understandable. The way of God is infinite, and very mysterious. And yet, when we trust what we can't ever fully understand, it brings us what the stuff we DO understand never could bring us. Paradox seems to be a favorite technique for God, doesn't it?

And BTW, when you have time to do some reading, hopefully to keep your focus, lest it be lost in the trials we all go through, give G. K. Chesterton a try, but read it slow and for content, not just skim reading it. His writing really requires some sober thinking to really appreciate, and that always slows us down, but again, reading slower and thinking along the way yields MUCH more than a quick survey ever will .... another paradox, which is something Chesterton was always noted for. He has a way of making paradox seem so easily understood! And he's the only one I've ever read that does that very consistently and lucidly. PM me if you want some suggestions to start with. I think I've read about a dozen of his books now, and he NEVER gets tiring or boring in the least sort of way. He can provide a real keel for folks who are constantly meeting challenges, and a sail to keep them going straight and true. When folks read him for content, trying to discern what he means by what he says, they always seem to be surprised at how simple he really is, and how steadily he maintains his own focus and pursues thoughts out to their logical final conclusion. He doesn't just stop when he gets AN answer. He keeps going until he gets to THE answer, the FINAL answer, and that kind'a sets him apart from most other authors, even those in the apologetics field. I suspect you'd find him very interesting and illuminating. He writes like he thinks, and he thinks very deeply, linearly and to the end of where any given thought or idea must eventually wind up at.

We all need a keel and a sail in our lives, and the Bible and Chesterton make a strong one-two combo.

[JonB_in_Glencoe]

Davidheart,
That is good to hear. I'm glad the mountain voyage happened for you and was therapeutic. still thinking and prayin for you.
Jon

[Boaz]

Davidheart,
That is good to hear. I'm glad the mountain voyage happened for you and was therapeutic. still thinking and prayin for you.
Jon


I read David's post , scrolled down and Jon had already put up what I was going to say ! I'll go with Jon's comment .

[edrw]

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
Matthew 11:28-30 (KJV)