I'm told I'm to old and basically broken down to make a move to the country. Grrr.

[Tallbald]

Penny and I are forcefully retired for medical reasons. I'm 56 and she just turned 46 yesterday. We both love rural settings. She's a country girl through and through. I'm a wanna-be country boy. Recently, we went to look at a 20 acre bit of land with a year around spring (hundreds of gallons a minute right out of a rock hillside, and which could be dammed up for a pond in the woods), two caves, one of which holds ancient clues as to Native American use, a well, lots of deer and turkey, plenty of room for a private shooting range, Amish neighbors , an old 1 bedroom 1 bath house mostly modernized, county electric and water, and close to her brother about 45 miles from where we now live. Our current home is a 1977 build, in a subdivision and has been improved to be just what "people our age" want.
My adult son was all for us buying the land, which is very well priced and use it for a getaway. Until he learned that Penny and I were seriously thinking of moving to the place. Then it became a whole different story. "your health isn't good" and "You're almost 60 years old" and "you two can't fit all your hobbies in a small house" and "don't look here if you want my blessings". Also the "I'm going to have to end up helping you do all this stuff to a place like that.....".
It made no difference that property taxes would be $200 a year instead of $1200. Also had no impact on him when I told him that my wife and I live an "either/or" income lifestyle and don't have the option of saying "we'll just take both". We would need to finance the property, sell our current home, downsize and live in the one bedroom home while using proceeds of selling our current home to add on to the old place at the new property. And have a stack of cash left over. I could raise goats for sale to local cultures that eat goats,and have the chicken house I always wanted. We could fence in a section, raise a steer for annual slaughter and have venison to boot. We'd be close to her brother and his family which is a good thing. Leave the suburbs behind and live out our remaining years enjoying each day. Then one day sell out to a younger couple wanting to be self-sufficient with a well, year around spring big enough to run a small electric generator, have caves as root cellars and that sort of thing. And still have cable internet right at the end of the driveway. Cell phone service too. This place is within a stones throw of the Mammoth Cave National Park in Kentucky. One cave on the property has been explored and mapped 4 miles into the earth too. And a cave room tall enough to stand up in. How's that for interesting?
Not really happy right now with my adult son. I guess I expected too much but was hoping for a "hey Dad. Whatever makes you happy because you spent your entire life taking care of everyone else...enjoy yourself..." .
Pretty frustrating. But I don't want to end up either with "I told you so".... Don

** Folks I added pertinent information at post number seven here. I'm hurt and annoyed at my adult son. But my aged inlaws live close to us now, and basically depend of Miss Penny and( to a much less extent) me for emergency back-up. Penny's been trying several years to urge her Dad to consider a move with us. Now,to the same property that we would be buying and improving. And I should add that my son and I have, after a very rocky stretch of his teen and early twenties ages, a good relationship. He worries about my safety. I worry about rotting away in disuse myself. I'd rather die having fun than live a long sheltered but boring life. Don

[thekidd76]

So the good news is that you're an adult, and young at 56, so you should do what you want. When I'm your age I won't expect or require my adult son's blessing to do anything, and neither should you. Sounds like an awesome place and you should do what God puts on your heart as the right thing to do.

[Bohica793]

You tell your son what I told mine when we moved -- grow up, grow a pair and live your own life. If you and your wife agree, your son has no say in the matter unless he is financially obligated as part of the move.

[garym1a2]

A good answer depends on your disability and income. Upkeep could be an issue if a disability mames you hire outside help and income is limeted. I Would plan for the worse

[jmort]

What are you waiting for. Once you move, you will be so thankful. Living is the country is the only way to go. Worst case scenario, move there for as long as you are able and be happy for what you get. Do it now, time will pass you by.

[JSnover]

You know your situation better than your son. Do what's best for you and make it clear to him that there will be no further discussion. He'll grow up and accept it or he'll be pissy for a long time.

[C. Latch]

I'm the adult son of a divorced man who's older than you and in no shape for manual labor, and he manages to take care of 150 acres and a house. He has help from neighborly neighbors from time to time.

20 acres with only an acre or two that has to be mowed and the rest just sort of sits there? You can do it.

[Driver man]

Go for it. Your obligation is to yourself and wife. The selfish attitude of your son is all about himself and how it will affect him . At your youngish age this could be a great move and who knows what a change in lifestyle would do for your health. Life is for living and if you have a dream and you dont chase it you may always regret it. Good luck

[s mac]

Times awasting , go for it.

[Houndog]

I guess I'm just an onery old coot, but when my Daughter told me I needed to hang up my riding gear and sell my Harley I went out and bought a new one, went on a 9 thousand mile trip to Canada over 11 days and intend to do it again next spring. You and the Mrs EARNED the right to live like YOU want to and anywhere you want to! Let the kids pound sand if they don't like it! As far as "country living" remember everything doesn't have to be done in one day and you and the Mrs can decide what you want to do or not today, save for feeding your livestock. I own a farm and do just fine taking care of it, and I'm older than you are!

[waksupi]

I would love to have a place like that, it sounds more modern than what I live in. You're old enough to know to pace yourself, and do things as you can. It sounds like your son thinks he may be inconvenienced in some way. Or would miss being close to you. Go ahead and live your dream, instead of looking back on what might have been. The property will not go down in value, and if you sometime need to move again, so be it, you can always do that.

[Tallbald]

Thanks folks. In my hurt and annoyance with my adult son, I forgot to touch on another important issue. Penny's folks live 20 miles from us and Penny is and has always been their primary caregiver. They are retired, not very healthy and her retired minister/farmer father refuses to move from their 8 acre spread. I geared my own life towards taking care of my aging widowed mother, declining to move to Idaho as I wanted when a young adult or to join the US Air Force as I wished because my only sibling, a sister, knew I'd do the right thing and care for our parents (Daddy died in '78 at age 46, Mom never re-married). I cannot and will not fault Penny for doing the same thing I did. We are just the care-giving children of each family because the others knew we would be. Penny's urging her folks to consider a move. Mother-in-law would jump at the chance to follow us back to her old stomping grounds, but her father refuses. Don

[rush1886]

As already said, if your son isn't part of the financial obligation, wave him goodby, looking in your rearview mirror.

Your final post came in, whilst I was posting mine. The added info does shed a different light.

[Fishman]

He'll get over it the first time he comes out to shoot on your new range and drink a beer later by the firepit. I promise.

[762 shooter]

Do it. You will feel better and live longer. There are no do overs.

762

[dilly]

That's a beautiful area. I was just there a few weeks ago and enjoyed my tour through Mammoth Cave. Went to a wedding in Harrodsburg.

I don't have any advice to offer, just that I hope you find the place that makes you happy and that little place you described may very well be a place that would make me happy.

P.S.

Coming from MO it seemed like there were almost no billboards in KY. It was odd, but wonderful!

[blademasterii]

Do what makes you happy. You have obviously done what others wanted of you all your life. Perhaps you moving will be the incentive the parents need to get them to move. Or to get someone else to shoulder a bit of the responsibility you have born your entire life. Buy the place, let them know you are moving and let them know what their options are for continued care. My father finally retired this year and they have 5 acres. They love it. Dad goes out and works till he gets tired or bored, sits for a bit and goes back to it. If you have goats and chickens mowing wont be much of a problem.

[smokeywolf]

Sounds like your son is having a bit of trouble seeing things from dad's point of view. You're the only one who is qualified to say whether or not you can physically tolerate the rigors of rural life. I'm in a similar situation to you and the Mrs. and I have firm plans to move to a politically more traditional and conservative area of the Country, procure something very similar to what you describe (40 acre minimum) and become as self sufficient and self sustaining as possible and practical.
I too have physical limitations, but will do my best to scale what I want to match my physical capabilities. I think the trick to setting up a ranch/hobby farm and self sustaining life is scalability. My wife is also quite a bit younger than I. She needs to be able to handle ranch and farm chores when I'm gone. We hope to set things up so that with minimal effort and little if any thought, she can scale back size, numbers, operations and chores.
Maintenance is a concern for me. I will put concerted effort into designing systems and structures to be as low-maintenance as possible; this in an effort to minimize her needing to call on our children for help.

We have members on this board who have been living a self-sustaining lifestyle for much, if not most of their lives. Many of those members suffer disabilities worse than mine and possibly yours. They continue to manage and enjoy a rural, ranching/farming life.

I think the answer is study; ask lots of questions of those here who already know it and live it. Plan and blueprint what you believe you can handle. Both the Mrs. and I have some pretty severe back problems. Because of that, most of our gardening will be done in raised bed square foot gardening plots.
I know that there's a lot I can still do. It just takes a big Ibuprofen and twice as much time to do it. We want lots of things and want to accomplish lots of things, but also realize you need a little time every so often to sit on the porch and watch the livestock, wildlife, clouds, whatever and drink a cup of coffee, tea, brandy or maybe a combination of those.

smokeywolf

[Iron Whittler]

Tallbald, I'm feeling you. Took care of parents till they passed. Other siblings did there thing until time to settle estate. Being the care giver for parents is a true labor of love. This certainly is an item to be thought about. As far as adult son, he can like it or lump it. The best outcome would be for parents to move with yall and enjoy what time they have remaining in the company of loving and caring children in a setting that they are accustom to. Best wishes and hope it works for you and your Mrs.

[gandydancer]

like hound dog says GPS. Tell your son you love him and to go pound sand.he's worried about having to do things for you? good thing you never felt that way when he was born. My wife and I moved in our 60's 650 miles away from my kids in CT to Virginia. grand pa don't do baby setting. we are in our 70's now and if we feel the itch to move again we will. thinking about Stewart FL for the winter months. two back surgery's. two new knees. balance shot to hell. please move out of my way i'm in a hurry lol. enjoy what time you have for your self's.[smilie=s: :bigsmyl2:

[monmouth]

I would only be concerned about financing the home till you freed up the equity in your existing home. I've seen too many "that won't happen" scenarios happen and financially hurt/crush people. In your situation, only play real estate without using debt and never enter retirement with a mortgage). Only you and your wife know your limitations with physical labor and the stress of a lifestyle change. I wouldn't view it lightly, but by no means crawl up and let time pass you.

I'm a young man and would love to own your dream. In fact, could walk to that park and enter the Mammouth Sniper Challenge each winter.

[runfiverun]

your son is seeing you the same way you view your in-law's and mother, maybe a little more selfishly, or maybe because by default he becomes the phone call for help in your absence...

just an outside observation with no facts to base it on other than it's similar to my situation where the two brothers sold out [the old family home they were given] and got away from their parents [who gave them that house] as soon as they possibly could, leaving their sister to take care of the parents by default.

[cbrick]

I kinda take exception to what you said about your son and then calling him an adult. I don't know either of you but that doesn't sound very "grown up" to me.

I'm confused though, you made the original post at 3:21 this afternoon and you haven't started packing yet? :veryconfu Plenty of time during closing to see if the son really does grow up, my money says he will. If not then when he see's that Dad made the right choice for Dad he will.

Rick

[dakotashooter2]

I'm close to your age and moved to my ex inlaws farmstead a few years back. When I got divorced I needed a place to live and they needed someone to take care of the place. Personaly I think just sitting around is probably gonna kill somebody faster than keeping active even if there are some health issues. I know the more I sit around the more my arthritis bothers me so I try to keep as active as possible. I do know I'm far more relaxed than when I lived in town.


Go for it. You have to remember that OLD also depends on your perspective. I tend to forget that my own father is 73 and think of him more as being in early 60s while my own son probably thinks there is a bigger gap between himself and me than there really is.

[MrWolf]

I think you should tell your son what you stated in your last paragraph, then make your own plans. Last time I checked your life is your own.

[shooter2]

Lots of good advice here and you both should discuss the pluses and the Minuses. Write it down in two columns + & -. It takes the emotion out of it. Then you have facts. I agree that your happiness is a major consideration so weigh it accordingly.

prayer never hurts either!

[Tallbald]

Everyone these are the pros and cons I needed to hear. I'm going to share the thread with Miss Penny. At some point we will either have to s*** or get off the pot as we say here in the South. I'd sure be more inclined to walk my own woods a few minutes a day than stare at TV at a gym while walking on a treadmill. And a 100 yard jaunt to the target is more interesting than a jaunt to the near stop sign. And yes, we pray often and really hard. Most often asking for answers. Never for money or material goods.Don

[buckwheatpaul]

Don, We moved about 65 miles from our youngest daughter and she still has not forgiven us....but like others have said....you dont need your childs permission to move....my wife and I were 52 when we moved and we still havent slowed down....best thing we ever did was to get away from all the crazies that live in the metroplex areas......I wish we had a spring like the property you are looking at....just remember to take your time and enjoy the experience.....take Sunday off and do not work yourself to death....IMHO.....Paul

[Mike in TX]

I am considerably older than you and the wife and I will be moving back to the country in 2 years. I do have an advantage and that is I can still work part time or full time if I really wanted to. I also vowed to take care of my mother in her elderly age but sometimes I wished that I had moved earlier.

[Pepe Ray]

"I'd rather feel sorry for something I'd done, than for something I didn't do."
Kris Kristofferson


Pepe Ray

[TXGunNut]

Downsize, simplify, reduce expenses and become more self-sufficient with plenty to do to uccupy your time? Sounds like a fantastic retirement plan.

[shoot-n-lead]

At 56...why are you asking your son's permission. I know, we would all like for our family to be in agreement...but it really isn't necessary as he will get okay with it.

Good luck.

[MaryB]

I am 54, back is basically destroyed, torn rotator cuffs in both shoulders, carpal tunnel both sides, 7 or 8 surgeries on joints/back and I take care of not only my house and yard but I help the 70 year old next door neighbor and mow her lawn too for just over an acre. I garden, reload, shoot, work on the house etc. It just takes a little longer now to get jobs done and power tools are your friend. I am running air lines into 2 parts of the house from the shop so I can use the air nailers without dragging in the compressor as an example. Make things easier, set things up to make life easier. I just moved 5,000 pounds of corn into storage and I never touched it. I have a vacuum system for that, same vacuum pulls it into the house for my winter heat with a corn stove. Next summers major project will be ramps in and out, and rebuild my garage when I am not against a deadline like I was this fall.

[CLAYPOOL]

Dear Tall guy: I'm up here in Southern Illinois and me + SISTER don't have any caves. You can trade with us and get the cows back for plenty of work if you want. I would move. I just don't like those twisty roads those KY folks build. 56 that ain't nothing. You ought to see my medical list of bad things. I found out that when you retire you do what you want to do... A QUESTION, are / do you think you will live forever. GO FOR IT. I didn't get the gun room poured before these cold temps. The boys are going to start on the whole width of the house closet for reloading supplies, clothes, gun boxes, you name it. No closets so I'm building a dandy. Come by and shoot at the range next summer.

[winchester85]

i will admit that i have not read all the above posts. if i have missed something, i apologize.

you have an opportunity to change your life in ways that benefit you and your spouse. there is no need to apologize or ask for anyone's approval. it sounds like this is a great opportunity for you and one you will not regret.

i grew up in a family that always put me down and discouraged me from decisions that would have benefited me greatly. i learned years ago to do what was good for me. not to pacify them.

go for it!

[michiganmike]

Buy, move, and have fun living the dream. I don't believe your son understands the attraction the land holds for you. Don't listen to him.

[texassako]

I am sort of in the situation your son is. My father, who is 10 years your senior, is moving to a different part of the state and also selling the place he bought just to be able hunt with family(my hunting place can't fit 2 deer hunters). I just told him we will make the trip to see him as often as we can and to have fun working on a new place.

[smoked turkey]

I also say "go for it". I believe this is one of those things that you will be very glad you did it and will always regret it if you don't make the move. I also believe you will feel better physically and mentally for doing it. I would like to think your son will come on board after he sees that it has made you and his mom happier.

[starmac]

I always wanted to move to Alaska, but waited till I figured I was too old ond pretty much wore out from my life choices. lol. I did it anyway, moved 4,000 plus miles to the farthest town possible away from the kids, guess where they all live now, and are livin the dream. My only regret is not making the move 30 years earlier.

[ReloaderEd]

A One bedroom house is a little small for maybe too much togetherness. However a small tool shed and shop would help. Do it Before your unable to do it. A small storage place would be good for your extra stuff. Good luck!!

[Plate plinker]

Go for it. Suburbs are for the birds.

[white eagle]

you are not going to live the lives of others
do what is in your heart the others will fall in place

[300savage]

Look up the definition of enabler. I commend you for caring, but honestly grow a set and make a move.

[Wayne Smith]

Look up the definition of enabler. I commend you for caring, but honestly grow a set and make a move.

Yup, you and Penny were trained from infancy to take care of others. Bout time you broke the mold and took care of yourselves. Just because others abdicate their responsibility doesn't mean they won't step up when the need exists. Yeah, they will hate you for a while because you caused inconvience in their lives! Pleasing God rather than man is my responsibility. Sounds like you are trained to please everyone but yourselves.

[GhostHawk]

Its your life, you got one shot at it. I would plan to do things to involve him as little as possible.

Over 50 and with medical challenges doesn't mean you can't do it, it means you have to take time and figure out how to do it smarter.

The difference between country living and an intown job means you can sit down and take a break when you feel the need.

If this is your dream, find a way to make it happen!

[Moonie]

Of my 8 children 1 of them (my oldest, a daughter) would think it a horrible idea. The other 7 would applaud it, my 3 adult, and grown-up, boys might move in if I had a range and hunting land lol

[Dan Cash]

Buy the land, sell house in town, raise an animal for food, forget selling goats to local "goat eating cultures," tell your son to pound sand.

[Handloader109]

I'll share a bit of my story, Born, raised and lived almost all of my life in MS, 6 yrs in GA and now 4+ in AR. Years ago, mid 80s, couldn't wait to get back to MS. Built home on family property 4 miles outside of town, parents lived in town. Fast forward, Father passes 19yrs ago, mother is now 87. She did remarry, but that fine gentleman passed only 3 yrs after she married. Thought I'd be able to retire at maybe 65 or maybe earlier and live out life in MS. But job change pushed us to move to AR. Too good a position to lose, and too few opportunities in MS to stay. Actually LOVE this area. We don't really want to go back and have been trying to sell our house in MS.. Things have changed there, property is now in city, higher taxes by 50%, no services provided except police and better fire, and reduced garbage pickup with added $200 a year cost. Can't shoot legally there anymore. Can't hunt except with bow. House two story and doesn't fit needs anymore, wife's health declined fast with heart attack in Jan, plus other issues that probably won't be resolved. Brother and his kids have been helping my mom as needed, both she and MIL have open invitation to move northwest to us. I'm now in a subdivision, and I HATE IT> actually quiet, small on edge of town, but it is still neighborhood. Both Wife and I want to get back out in the woods to a degree. Once home in MS sells, it will happen. My daughter is 23, she really has no say, even though she's still at home going to school. (She likes it up here, won't go back)
ultimately, we'll probably find house up here we like, with room for one or two parents, MIL will probably move in with us at some point, my mom won't. Sometimes, it is difficult that she is 450 miles away, but I have to live my life, and I will take care of her and MIL, but it is up to THEM to come here, not me go back. That is probably best decision to make, and I'd tell you to do the same, buy the home, do what the two of you WANT to do. Don't live your life for others, or under other's rules. I did for a long time, not a good thing. Good luck

[DougGuy]

This is fitting... The very first post has the answers, then in the middle of this thread I read that there are prayers for answers.. Hmm ohhhhkay..

My thing: "I can live with my failures a LOT easier than I can live with my regrets."

[rondog]

If it were my decision to make, I'd already be packing! Sounds like a dream come true to me. Son's probably jealous, and afraid you're going to spend his inheritance.

[Love Life]

So when are you moving in!?

[Tallbald]

Another plus is that Penny and I already have a nice, 1981 Kubota 17.5 HP diesel tractor, bush hog, finish mower, utility cart and 5 foot grader blade. I've just been letting my father in law use it on his 8 acres free of charge since penny and I had to sell another little 10 acre farm and WAY too big house I was coerced into building by another person in 2004. Don

[Love Life]

Sooo....when are you moving?

<---Will do work for the privelage of cave exploring!

[Tallbald]

They say if you don't use it, you loose it. Arthritis can be crippling, but often times to many sit and feel sorry for them selves and it happens. I know how painful it can be, but you still have to live and do as much for yourself as you can or you will let it take over. Hang in there and enjoy everything while you can! Penny, Tallbald's wife.

[shdwlkr]

Well my kids have tried to tell me that I can't run a ranch that I want very bad, think lots of land to work, because I am over a decade older than you, have two bad knees, broken back, broken ankle. I am cleaning things up after a divorce so credit sucks, but as soon as I can I will have my ranch, I also will be working as a mental health counselor.
I have learned that we only get one shot at this thing we call life, so do what you want as it is your life to live and enjoy.
I have an older sister that thinks I am nuts and worries something will happen and I will end up dead. Last I checked that is going to happen to everyone of us some day.
If you and your wife like the property, can afford the property, have funds to take care of your selves, what are you waiting for. As to your son, just let him know you thank him for his input but you and your wife have made the final decision and are going to the land. He can come visit when he wants, but he doesn't have the right to run your lives, you are adults, have been on this earth long enough to know there will be good times, not so good times and most of all a lot of trying times. this is one for your son to learn to accept and deal with.

[shooterg]

Go for it. Build a couple extra rooms. Invite the in-laws for a weekend - the old guy likes 8 acres, he'll love 20 ! Then they can sell too and put a home on the 20.

It's time to do what you want and let others pound sand.

[Tallbald]

This is Penny, Tallbald's wife. When Don and I married in 2007, I told him I'd follow him anywhere under 2 conditions. 1 I had to have a garden and 2nd a clothes line. I know that sounds silly, but I was born a southern girl and have spent my most of my life living on farms. Don and I moved to town in 2008 after I had open heart surgery a month after we married and his Mom passing away. ( she lived with us) We have a fenced in garden, Raised strawberry bed, Blackberries, and yes, a clothes line. He has made every wish I had come true, but we can't shoot, have the animals we would like or have privacy (like you have in the country.) We can't go for walks in the woods and feel completely free, and know it is ours. We love our house here and have fixed it just the way we wanted it, but it is in town. The land we are looking at is 8 miles from my brother. My parents are our only real thing that is making us have reservations. I know we have to live our lives, but we are both caretakers. ( both retired nurses as well) I hope this move may convince them to move, but then I think, they are happy where they are, so why shouldn't we be as well.
As far as the adult kids go, both girls are saying, " Hey, if that makes you 2 happy go for it." ( our oldest daughter has lived on a farm her whole life) and the younger wants to someday.
Now, as far as, the son, we both love him dearly, but he hurt me, buy hurting his dad, with his opinions. Yes, I appreciate his honesty, but he is a college educated 28yr old man acting like he is the parent here. I have always kept a line with Don's kids that I don't cross, because they are his biological kids, not mine. I love them both as if they were, but facts are facts. I usually don't get involved. His son does not like change and does not deal with it well at all! We rarely ask him for help and compensate him well when does. I love him dearly, but I would think he is old enough to let his Dad have he's dreams come true, not worrying about how it will affect HIS LIFE.
I think we are grown adults, who are old enough to know what we want. We love our kids but we raised them and now it is our turn to do what we want and live out our dreams before it is to late. Tomorrow is not promised to any of us. With our health issues, it has made us realize enjoy each day.
One more comment, someone asked about the house being small and if we could handle all the togetherness, YES! We are together probably 90% of the time now. Unlike some couples we still enjoy each others company. LOL Penny, Tallbald's short redheaded countrygirl!

[edler7]

Old age is the time for regrets. If I had....I wish I would have....If I had known.....

Don't let this be one of them. If you and your wife want this, if it has been a dream of yours, do it and don't look back.

You’ll always miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. ~Wayne Gretzky

[Tallbald]

I forgot to add, 2 of my favorite says:
" Some of the biggest regrets in life are chances not taken."
" If you live you're life trying to please everybody else, you're gonna have a long miserable life!"
Miss Penny

[cbrick]

So why are you sitting there? You should be at the real estate office by now. If you sit on it somebody else will be enjoying your woods, stream and house. Get going! Your next post should say the down payment has been made.

Rick

[gwpercle]

Kids don't know doodley-squat. Go with what your heart tells you. Just sitting around waiting to die is not the answer. You aren't that old, do it!
Gary

[xman777]

I'm 31. I moved last year into a 35 acre farm property with woods, streams and fields.

I love it out here, but it has been a hell of a lot of work. I'd advocate doing it, but don't underestimate the amount of stress that it will add to your life while learning how to make everything work out. My trees produce enough deadfall to burn a fire every day for the rest of my life and I can barely keep up with it. Some yards don't get mowed, I just let them grow. The basement leaks when it rains hard. Oh my... the leaves are stacked in piles over my head. The creeks need constantly cleaned of debris so the property drains properly. There's so much more to do here.

Being a country boy is hard work!

[bob208]

I am 65 we have a small place. I would rather die in the country doing what I like then survive in a town.

[DougGuy]

It sounds like the decision has been made to move, now you guys are checking with the rest of us as to how we would deal with the issues, which is good. It's good to have like minded peers for sounding boards at times they are the only ones you can count on for advice. Everybody else tries to SWAY you with their opinions.

I would work out the details, IF possible, without involving the "other" adult, and see what things look like then. As caregivers/caretakers I understand your concerns and they need to be worked out IF THEY CAN BE. Seems like doors are opening, what is meant to be, will be.

[Love Life]

<----Will work for cave exploring privelages.

[popper]

Go for it. My folks started having health problems in their 80s, Mom wouldn't move. Finally both ended up at the ER. No family (most all friends had already passed) withn 600 mi. to take care of them. Be surprized how fast minds can change. Took about a year to sell & get moved. Wife doesn't want to move to the country as no health facilities around - that's what they made copters for I tell her.

[Charley]

Have 41 acres in Real County here in Texas, live in town. Wife wants to be available for UPS and FedEx. Also, grandchild lives here. I can hit the country any time I want, so its good enough for me.

BTW, 56 is the new 55, so do what you want. Your decision, not someone else's.

[MaryB]

If you need extra space buy a couple of cargo containers, they make okay work shops and great storage. Medical care is a life flight away these days so I don't see that being a hangup at all. I am a 30 mile trip form the nearest hospital and would not change it for anything. I hate the city and with only 1 really nice neighbor it is almost like being in the country. Only thing I can't do is shoot much(occasionally to get rid of a critter is allowed). If I had the cash I would head for the country myself, love the privacy. I rented a farm house out in the middle of a 1 mile section, 1/4 mile driveway out to the gravel then 2 miles to the blacktop. Nearest neighbor was 1/2 mile away and he was nice and blew snow for me in winter for $20 if it got to deep for me to handle with a walk behind snow blower. Nothing like taking a shower then wandering outside naked to grab clothes off the line and nobody around to see or care. Held some massive shooting parties there because the grove had a 20 foot berm running through it, had space for a 300 yard range. I miss that freedom and if I had the chance to do it again I would jump on it.

[TXGunNut]

Just realized I've been in your son's shoes. My dad ran off to FL in his sunset years for reasons I didn't understand but didn't hesitate to support. I knew how much he enjoyed the ocean so I knew he'd at least enjoy that. Bad thing was he left me with a house to sell and a house full of furniture and whatnot to put into storage. Things didn't work out for him in FL but it would have been selfish for me to discourage him from doing what he truly wanted to do. He came back to TX for his last few years and we had some good times together before he left us for good and I had another house to clear out and sell. I didn't enjoy handling his housing affairs either time but I've never regretted it.
Do you think you'll ever get another opportunity like this? How will you and your son get along if you pass this up and regret it? If by now you haven't earned the right to do something you want to do then when will you?

[retread]

Started my country place at 62. Put in water, power, cleared the land for the house. Put in the foundation (slab for triple wide manufactured home, added a double car garage, built a 24 x 52 shop and did all the wiring, plumbing, etc. The only thing I hired out was the septic system and the concrete finishing. After I finished I felt better physically than I had for years. I will be 69 Jan 1st and feel that was the best move of my life. Obviously my opinion is go for it!!

[gmsharps]

Ditto on the containers. I bought 2 20ft and 1 40ft container to store all of my household goods until I was able to get the house built and now use the containers as storage. You can also build out the containers meaning use 2x2's as studs and either plywood or ESB for the walls and turn them into really nice workshops or insulated storage. Just a thought. On the move only you can make that decesion. Whether good or bad you have to live with it. Sounds like a great spot. I wish I couold havwe found something like that when I was looking for land.

gmsharps

gmsharps

[quilbilly]

I am 65 we have a small place. I would rather die in the country doing what I like then survive in a town.
Yep!!!

[Tallbald]

Just an update. For reasons unknown, my adult son now claims support for penny's and my wish. Don't know if his younger sister gave him down the road for his attitude (that's happened before when she's come to my defense) or if he really realized the error in his ways. Anyway, penny and I have decided to get pre-approved for a mortgage in an amount roughly equal to the land price. We'll wait out the colder months here, and as the weather breaks, and if the tract is still available, will make an offer. Although we risk losing it to another, quicker buyer, the problems associated with taking possession during months of bad weather outweigh the benefits. In the interim, we will also explore other land tracts in the same area (dozens and dozens) to see if there's yet a better site for our getaway. Thanks for ALL the input folks. Thoughts expressed here have helped us in this difficult decision, and clarified for me that I no longer have to be a "daddy" to an adult child. I think Penny and I needed to be reminded in no uncertain terms that she and I need no one's permission to do what makes us happy. Her mother, who had previously voiced a wish to move to that same area or anywhere away from the 8 acre tract she inhabits with her husband, suddenly has voiced reluctance to move to the tract we are looking at. Says "the roads are too winding" and "There's very little medical care" and "there's nowhere to shop except dollar store" (my MIL loves to shop....) and "who is going to mow 20 acres??" (she forgot that the tractor and implements at her house are mine and make a connection that I will be asking for them back).Those issues don't bother Penny and me. It's beginning to sound like Penny is ready to move on with them or without them. She flat out said to her mother they were welcome to join us in the move. I'll share about events as they develop. Don

[MaryB]

My dad had a 20 footer behind his house at the lake, insulated, heated, window A/C unit, and 8 bunks for when the entire family showed up at once. I tried to get the container after he died but my little brother had a fit over it and decided he had to have it. I didn't want a fight, my oldest sister who has power of attorney told my little brother to back off but I told her let him have it. Greed will bite him in the end.


Ditto on the containers. I bought 2 20ft and 1 40ft container to store all of my household goods until I was able to get the house built and now use the containers as storage. You can also build out the containers meaning use 2x2's as studs and either plywood or ESB for the walls and turn them into really nice workshops or insulated storage. Just a thought. On the move only you can make that decesion. Whether good or bad you have to live with it. Sounds like a great spot. I wish I couold havwe found something like that when I was looking for land.

gmsharps

gmsharps

[Tallbald]

Penny and I have been poring over photos of the property and bouncing ideas around with each other about the logistics of a move. We know we will have to sell off a lot of things we've accumulated in the 7 years of our marriage, and which we brought into it together. The storage container idea is very good. There are already several outbuildings that can become storage too. The house is small. Quite small. Like 750 square feet small. Seven years ago we downsized from 4000 square feet to 1500 square feet. It'll take some hard decisions to go yet smaller until we could add on.
The land is laid out well for a protected shooting range folks. A permanent log post tin roofed shelter and shooting table are absolutely planned, with the range aimed slightly downward into an opposite hillside, giving 0 to 250 yard range targets pointed away from neighbors. A backstop that can be mined is doable too. Frequent shooting will also acclimate the wildlife to the sound, so deer for the freezer and the abundant turkey will basically be no problem. A separate, combined hobby and work shop for quilting, leather working, wood working and of course reloading has merit also.
How does an owner utilize a cave folks? I find myself wondering if the government has control of caves. Keep in mind though, Penn and I would never dishonor the memory of ancient peoples who used the cave before us. We were told there are indications that ancients did use the cave, which I'm told has a room big enough to stand up in and the cave itself has been mapped 4 miles back into the earth: fire pit areas, flint knapping remnants, charred animal bones. I suppose just use it for a tornado shelter. Frequent prayers and blessings would be sent up at the site. My personal beliefs.
The year around spring that puts out hundreds of gallons a minute even in dry seasons has possibilities for....,don't laugh... a microhydro electric generator. LED lighting in outbuildings comes to mind. Heat for the house and outbuildings, now provided by electric space heaters (not good) could in time be changed to forced air wood with an outdoor furnace building and valve controlled duct work I believe. Window A/C units provide cooling. The current house, which has been updated and modernized inside is maybe 80 years old. Tin roof that needs replaced, concrete front porch. The place does have a modern septic tank though, running over the hill but opposite the spring.
The more I think of the potential, the happier I get. Chores within my capability sure are more fun to think about than sitting in a suburban home. Thoughts and comments appreciated. Don

[cbrick]

It all sounds great except one little thing. :mrgreen: The LED's in the out buildings sounds great BUT why only in the out building's? LED is the way to go, it is the future not those curly Q things. I have replaced every single incandescent light bulb in my house inside & out. My kitchen did have 6 75 watt can lights in the ceiling, that's 360 watts every time I flipped the switch. I could now turn on every single light in my house inside & out including the kitchen and not come close to what the kitchen alone used to use. They say the LED bulbs last 20+ years, I can't swear to that but my most used lights are now over 2 years old and I haven't replaced one yet.

As for the new property, have you started packing yet?

Rick

[Tallbald]

Thanks for the LED light information. Not packing yet. Will be going to get pre approved for a loan soon though I hope. Can't get set on this one property though I remind myself. The market is fickle and Penny and I must figure some things out. Her Dad and Mom being the biggest thing right now. Penny is their go-to person for any problems they have, and teh move would put us 45 miles further away than now.... Don

[Char-Gar]

Your story is all to common. Adult children want their parents to live their "golden years" in a way that is most convenient and least bothersome for them. "Pop I want you to be unhappy so don't have to be". Ungrateful little pricks. Tell them to go fly a kite and do what you want. You are going to die anyway so it might as well be where you want to be, doing what you want to do. You can either live dieing or die living. The choice is yours and not your whelp's.

[gew98]

I see this attitude of "children" often. I just as often see the parents mollycoddle their children and indulge them in everything is theirs...often to the destruction of the family. I moved 750 miles to be closer to my parents when they went to a rural Kentucky life. It was the best thing WE all did.
I made sure I got a house close by them . Mother suffered a debilitating stroke in 99. She spent the rest of her life until she passed in a nursing home in early 04. Hard part was my father passed of a triple A on thanksgiving day 01. It was comforting to be there for them for me and them for sure. I got to be my dad's best friend and gun , reloading & hunting buddy for his last decade. Would'nt have given anything for that. I have seen families absolutely destroyed by greed for parents possessions sadly..... some of it was really hard to stomach like a good friend of my father's whom when he passed his retard criminal of a son wanted his cash value NOW and forced the sale of a 100 acre plus farm that was in the family since before the civil war.... never gave his only sibling a chance for her and her husband to arrange finances to buy that farm and pay that turd off. That was sad. Only good thing was one time years before that I had to pistol whip that turd with an old GI 45 pistol. I left him hanging out of his pickup window and had his dad come and get him before I thought too hard about finishing him off. I took the rifle he threatened me with and smashed it on the road and tossed it in the bed of the pickup.
You need to follow your dream an dmove to Kentucky ... the area you are looking at is beautiful. You will find alot of that family syndrome where regardless of what a *** the son(s) are possibly , they will get everything and make no bones about that. On the flip side I have met some of the best rural folk one could ever hope to meet. I've got some neighbors and friends I'd do anything for and vice versa. Only time I saw that in newjerkistan was people of my father's and older generations before they all moved and or died while the flood of non assimilating immigrants destroyed it all and made newjerkistan what it is today , oh and with no small help from the race baiting demorat party .

[gew98]

Oh and yes LED is the way to go. Saves a gob in electricity over the long run and they don't act funny in cold weather. I've put several hundred of those 2x4 LED lights in factories in the past 2 years.... they are bright and rarely a bad one , and ther are no bulbs to fall out and or flicker irritatingly !.

[Plate plinker]

Buy now or soon. Maybe you can work out a deal on possession and all that. Best of luck.

[FrankG]

Put in your offer on the property with contingency of yours selling and get yours on the market . Go for it and don't look back . It will all work out for sure !

[cbrick]

There is one downside once you get moved into the new place. You will have one thing going through your head, it will be stuck there and you won't be able to get rid of it. Over and over and over again all day every day the same thought.

Why didn't I do this years ago?

Rick

[blackthorn]

No one should make life changing decisions based on someone else's wants/needs! I found out years ago that the best way to operate is to carefully weigh the pros/cons, come to a decision, implement that decision and let everyone else just deal with it! For instance: When Gail and I decided to get married we; picked a date, arranged to have a minister (also friend) come out to the house that AM, called my hunting partner and his wife to be witnesses, got a plate of fancy sandwiches, had the wedding, ate the sandwiches, went away for two weeks and called the family (both sides) when we got back! 20 years later we are sooooo happy!!! If there were any hard feelings we never heard about it.

[butch2570]

It is always Easier to get forgiveness than permission.

[trapper9260]

I say you and your wife have your own life to live not to have someone tell you how to live it.The both of you want it then go for it and do not look back because of for all you will have going on aftger you will not have time to look back.i was told that I live in the middle of no where and I said that is how I love it.

[starmac]

I can't imagine being retired and living in town, I never liked town living even when I had to work there.

[ol skool]

...How does an owner utilize a cave folks?

Maybe there's a short side channel for a root and wine (or whatever) cellar.

[Tallbald]

I'm keeping track of responses here folks and appreciate the support. Methinks that this week penny and I will take the first step and apply for pre-approval on a loan. As to a cave, I agree about the root cellar approach. And tornado shelter if there's time to get there. We are keeping track of the property. My inlaws have expressed reluctance to move, but I'm letting Penny handle that facet and will support her either way that is best for the family. I suspect that if we do get to change location, it wouldn't be long before they would follow us. Not to the property itself, but rather to a rental home in the small town where the cost of living would be so much better and family close. Don

[starmac]

Originally Posted by Tallbald http://castboolits.gunloads.com/images/buttons/viewpost-right.png (http://castboolits.gunloads.com/showthread.php?p=3007110#post3007110) ...How does an owner utilize a cave folks

I take it you have never been to the hole in the wall, south of moab.
One heck of a home, and used to be a resteraunt in it too.

[big bore 99]

Been following this conversation for a bit. The only thing I can say is my only regret is not doing the things I knew were right sooner.

[MaryB]

Couple hundred gallons a minute is more than micro hydro if you can get some decent drop, possibly run the entire house. 200 gallons per minute with a 20 foot fall(head), relatively short pipe run(50 feet) of 6 inch pvc to the generator and you have a 400 watt generator, 9.52kw/day, 3,475kwh/year as an example. Guys with more experience hang out over on fieldlines.com alternative energy board. Add some solar for daytime peak loads and you could be off grid...

Caves could be used to age goat cheese if you do milk goats, or any other kind of cheese. Also wine aging and storage is an option.

Even if you are 45 miles farther away it is not that far. I was 90 miles one way from my parents and could be there in 2 hours if needed so it wasn't a big deal.


Penny and I have been poring over photos of the property and bouncing ideas around with each other about the logistics of a move. We know we will have to sell off a lot of things we've accumulated in the 7 years of our marriage, and which we brought into it together. The storage container idea is very good. There are already several outbuildings that can become storage too. The house is small. Quite small. Like 750 square feet small. Seven years ago we downsized from 4000 square feet to 1500 square feet. It'll take some hard decisions to go yet smaller until we could add on.
The land is laid out well for a protected shooting range folks. A permanent log post tin roofed shelter and shooting table are absolutely planned, with the range aimed slightly downward into an opposite hillside, giving 0 to 250 yard range targets pointed away from neighbors. A backstop that can be mined is doable too. Frequent shooting will also acclimate the wildlife to the sound, so deer for the freezer and the abundant turkey will basically be no problem. A separate, combined hobby and work shop for quilting, leather working, wood working and of course reloading has merit also.
How does an owner utilize a cave folks? I find myself wondering if the government has control of caves. Keep in mind though, Penn and I would never dishonor the memory of ancient peoples who used the cave before us. We were told there are indications that ancients did use the cave, which I'm told has a room big enough to stand up in and the cave itself has been mapped 4 miles back into the earth: fire pit areas, flint knapping remnants, charred animal bones. I suppose just use it for a tornado shelter. Frequent prayers and blessings would be sent up at the site. My personal beliefs.
The year around spring that puts out hundreds of gallons a minute even in dry seasons has possibilities for....,don't laugh... a microhydro electric generator. LED lighting in outbuildings comes to mind. Heat for the house and outbuildings, now provided by electric space heaters (not good) could in time be changed to forced air wood with an outdoor furnace building and valve controlled duct work I believe. Window A/C units provide cooling. The current house, which has been updated and modernized inside is maybe 80 years old. Tin roof that needs replaced, concrete front porch. The place does have a modern septic tank though, running over the hill but opposite the spring.
The more I think of the potential, the happier I get. Chores within my capability sure are more fun to think about than sitting in a suburban home. Thoughts and comments appreciated. Don

[starmac]

90 miles in 2 hours if needed, hmmm 45 minutes if really needed. lol

[trapper9260]

When I first to where I am now from where I was brought up in the northeast New England and my mom follow me she said she wish that her and my dad know about Iowa years ago they would of move out here and not stay in MA like they did.I hope this will help you also about taken that move.

[Tallbald]

Thanks again folks. Yes the spring, even in dry weather according to the lady owner gushes heavily. I too had looked into microhydro systems. But, and please humor me, aren't microhydro systems generally based on 12V to 24 V systems with battery storage? I need to delve further into it I know, and do my research. The spring is about 150 to 200 yards from the house, downhill from a straight line view. The fall looks to be 15 to twenty feet. The owners have already cleared a trail to the spring including steps to it for a "thinking spot".
I will admit this entire situation has boosted my outlook on life tremendously. I've been studying small farm animal husbandry such as Heritage breed chickens, Guinea hen flock management, and goats. Penny, being a farm girl up until I took her to the city raised calves and steers, chickens, ducks and guineas. She actually grew up with her father, during winters, bringing newborn calves into the farmhouse kitchen to bottle feed and care for during bad weather. "Honey they were money" she says. Her mother didn't like it she added, but dared not say anything to her husband, my father-in-law. Penny's history may give naysayers here about my kitchen bench reloading some insight into the wonderful, practical lady I was blessed to have married.
Cheese aging in a cave? Another topic I need to read up on. I had mentioned to Penny that stainless steel lockable and sealed containers might be useful for food storage in a cave entrance. And that forced air systems to pass cave-cooled air through a heat exchanger type setup have been used in some applications as air conditioning. Don't know if it's still true, but at one time, Mammoth Cave National Park's main building was cooled by cave air. Of course now carcinogenic radon gas has become a concern in my area so that may have changed. I need to get to the loan officer at the bank..... Don

[Wayne Smith]

While you are oing all this reseach look into beekeeping. There will be plenty of flowers and trees flowering to support a number of hives. One advantage of being where you have room around you.

[opos]

I'm 77 and sort of disabled so no moves in my future..except the "big move" at some point but thought I'd share something we were involved in about 15 years ago...We wanted to move out of California and find a much smaller and easier going community where we would have access to good health care and conveniences but not have the huge hustle and bustle of the freeways, etc. We did some investigating and talking with folks that knew Washington State well and we had traveled there a bit in the past...We went to Wenatcee and Chelan (about 40 miles apart), Washington to see what it had to offer...it looked really good...housing was affordable...things seemed to be pretty nice and decent and we had talked to folks that, while they didn't live there, had said it really appealed to them.

Being a really cautious person I opted to subscribe to the local news paper and have it mailed to me where we live...I'm glad I did....what appeared to be a nice quiet, peaceful town with "decent weather" turned out...from the newspaper reports...to be exactly what we didn't want...weather was often real difficult...the "police blotter" portion of the paper was filled with issues about drug problems, etc...lots of real serious problems...and it's somewhat of a tourist area in the summer (we took the paper for about 9 months) and we would have walked right back into tourist problems...After doing more digging we decided that we almost made a huge mistake...we stayed where we know everyone...where we know how to get around..and being retired we dont have to get into traffic or fight crowds.

Not being a wet blanket...just sharing our personal experience...I think had we sold the house and moved we would have been back in a year or so...looking for the kind of house we have..in the neighborhood where we live and probably paying 50% more for the same kind of house..plus all the other costs and disruption. The thought of picking fresh apples, fishing for salmon right near, hunting in the hills (I've not hunted in 30 years but still the idea came up) and nice quiet folks in a nice quiet community ...got our attention ..until reality took over.

We didn't have pressure from our family..their idea is "whatever you want is fine" but I'm so glad we didn't make a permanent situation out of a fantasy dream we had...If I were in my 30's and in good health we would have gone somewhere...but I'm disabled..was in my late 50's and not too well off financially ...We thought of a "fixer upper" and spending our "equity" to fix something up..until I realized that all the thoughts of doing all the things I "used to do" would mostly have to be done by hired help...I can't remodel a home in my condition...I couldn't tend to trees and an acreage...reality was a tough thing to face but it was reality...the "idea" of revisiting my younger days and tramping through the hills to go hunting ignored the fact that I had only one lung and a replaced knee...doubtful I'd have made it a mile on my "hunting trips".

Just another side of the story in a thread that is very positive for a move...I only offer that the sun warmed our face and the thoughts were wonderful but we could not have accomplished the things we "had planned" at all..we are still where we were...same friends...same stores and churches....same routes that we know and don't have to worry about getting lost...and we are happy here and would have been very unhappy were we to have "tossed the keys on the roof and run away"...We both have had some really serious health issues...cancer, surgeries, etc..and we are so grateful that we were close to medical facilities that are competent and that our same old doctors were right there to see us through the tough times...would have hated to try and do all that in Wanatchee and Chelan Washington...where we knew no one and had no experience with any of the medical services available.

I have no idea about the area around Wanatchee and Chelan these days...all the discussion here is some 15 years ago so things may be a whole lot different...just commenting on a particular time and place and events that took place in our lives...

Best of luck whatever you do...We found we have it awfully good where we are right now.

[MaryB]

You can go a 24 volt(or 48) battery system for off grid or many use a synchronous motor and grid tie but that depends on state and county laws. My solar is all off grid because I did not want to have to deal with the government and the utility company. When you get to that point sign up over on field lines and let the experts on hydro help. I know a little about it but have never set it up.


Thanks again folks. Yes the spring, even in dry weather according to the lady owner gushes heavily. I too had looked into microhydro systems. But, and please humor me, aren't microhydro systems generally based on 12V to 24 V systems with battery storage? I need to delve further into it I know, and do my research. The spring is about 150 to 200 yards from the house, downhill from a straight line view. The fall looks to be 15 to twenty feet. The owners have already cleared a trail to the spring including steps to it for a "thinking spot".
I will admit this entire situation has boosted my outlook on life tremendously. I've been studying small farm animal husbandry such as Heritage breed chickens, Guinea hen flock management, and goats. Penny, being a farm girl up until I took her to the city raised calves and steers, chickens, ducks and guineas. She actually grew up with her father, during winters, bringing newborn calves into the farmhouse kitchen to bottle feed and care for during bad weather. "Honey they were money" she says. Her mother didn't like it she added, but dared not say anything to her husband, my father-in-law. Penny's history may give naysayers here about my kitchen bench reloading some insight into the wonderful, practical lady I was blessed to have married.
Cheese aging in a cave? Another topic I need to read up on. I had mentioned to Penny that stainless steel lockable and sealed containers might be useful for food storage in a cave entrance. And that forced air systems to pass cave-cooled air through a heat exchanger type setup have been used in some applications as air conditioning. Don't know if it's still true, but at one time, Mammoth Cave National Park's main building was cooled by cave air. Of course now carcinogenic radon gas has become a concern in my area so that may have changed. I need to get to the loan officer at the bank..... Don

[ambergrifleman]

Are You still going to be moving to this very nice piece of Property.

[SSGOldfart]

Don take a long hard look at rising rabbits and a small garden.rabbit is a good meat source and cheap to rise I just up and moved after retiring.

[pjames32]

Take a good look at yourself, your wife and how self sufficient you CAN be. Doo what is best for the 2 of you and enjoy life. I'm MANY years older than you and both my wife an I have our medical issues. We have no surviving children and I have told our 6 nephews they each get us 2 months per year if we are unable to live on our own. If we can, those 6 inherit everything. Surprise they think Aunt Rene' and Uncle PJ have it together!
Live your life and enjoy!
PJ

[labradigger1]

Key word in my mind is "ADULT SON" , if he has no money in purchasing the property you should do what makes you and your wife happiest. When the children are grown and gone all you have is each other, I feel you should enjoy your empty nest years happy, I know I would. You're some needs to walk his own walk and if I may be so bold he should also learn to respect his parents.
Lab

[Blacksmith]

In doing your research take a look at hydraulic ram pumps for pumping your water for both house hold use and watering crops. It reduces your energy needs.

[montana_charlie]

You guys have spent two months (and six pages) telling a grown man to make his own decision.
Tallbald started this thread on November 12th, and said his last piece on November 16th.
I think he got your message a long time ago ...

CM

[shooterg]

But what did he do ? Inquiring minds , you know ?

[montana_charlie]

In his last post he said they were going to apply for a loan.