wyrmzr
10-05-2014, 12:42 PM
Well, the other day I finally did what I feared I'd eventually wind up doing, and filled out the paperwork for Social Security Disability.
I've been agoraphobic all my life (for those who don't know that term, it's fear of open spaces, and large crowds). Over the last 25 years, I've tried just about every job you can imagine; fast food, grocery, hardware sales, data entry, and for 20 years I've been a computer technician in various locations.
The fact is, I can't do much of anything; most places require you to be in warehouse environments, or crowded buildings, or out on the open road. Even fast food places are out, because once things get busy, I feel trapped, and end up with that "I must leave now" sensation.
Medications for this condition exist, and I take them, but they have the effect of impairing motor skills, and leaving me drowsy. That, and they cause cluster headaches in higher doses. So, I'm going to hang up the towel. I'll still work as I can, maybe set up a small PC repair shop in my basement. But in this area, that won't bring in enough to live on by itself.
I can't feel sorry for myself; I've worked harder at fighting this than most would have, and I've at least been somewhat successful. But the last few weeks I've had to take meds just to get out to hunt, or to the shooting range. And you know it's bad when you've got to push yourself just to go hunting!
I'm only 42, and I've got a good list of fairly inexpensive hobbies, so I can keep myself entertained.
BUT, I will need prayer, as it's frustrating. I don't like the rules that go along with the the disability system, and I would much rather be out in the field, whether that's the work field or the hunting field.
Naturally, I'll still be on here, as I return home from just pushing to get outdoors and fight the tendency to become a recluse. I thank God I started hunting when I did, and that I like to fish as well, or it would be too easy to sit at home, watching TV or playing video games all day.
I still consider myself blessed, as I've got family nearby, and good friends who understand.
I've been agoraphobic all my life (for those who don't know that term, it's fear of open spaces, and large crowds). Over the last 25 years, I've tried just about every job you can imagine; fast food, grocery, hardware sales, data entry, and for 20 years I've been a computer technician in various locations.
The fact is, I can't do much of anything; most places require you to be in warehouse environments, or crowded buildings, or out on the open road. Even fast food places are out, because once things get busy, I feel trapped, and end up with that "I must leave now" sensation.
Medications for this condition exist, and I take them, but they have the effect of impairing motor skills, and leaving me drowsy. That, and they cause cluster headaches in higher doses. So, I'm going to hang up the towel. I'll still work as I can, maybe set up a small PC repair shop in my basement. But in this area, that won't bring in enough to live on by itself.
I can't feel sorry for myself; I've worked harder at fighting this than most would have, and I've at least been somewhat successful. But the last few weeks I've had to take meds just to get out to hunt, or to the shooting range. And you know it's bad when you've got to push yourself just to go hunting!
I'm only 42, and I've got a good list of fairly inexpensive hobbies, so I can keep myself entertained.
BUT, I will need prayer, as it's frustrating. I don't like the rules that go along with the the disability system, and I would much rather be out in the field, whether that's the work field or the hunting field.
Naturally, I'll still be on here, as I return home from just pushing to get outdoors and fight the tendency to become a recluse. I thank God I started hunting when I did, and that I like to fish as well, or it would be too easy to sit at home, watching TV or playing video games all day.
I still consider myself blessed, as I've got family nearby, and good friends who understand.