Good friend is really sick

[abunaitoo]

My good friend is in intensive care at Tripler Hospital.
He just came out of intensive care at another hospital three weeks ago.
The first time, he passed out and the ambulance had to be called.
Doctors said another day, and he would have been gone.
This time wife told him either she take him "NOW", or she was going to call the ambulance. He went.
As soon as the doctor started checking him, he went straight to the IC.
Been there five days now.

After he got out the first time, he called to talk.
I asked him if the doctors found out what was wrong.
He said high sugar, salt, high blood pressure and other stuff.
I asked if it was diabetes. He said no, not that.
When I talked to his wife this second time, she said he is diabetic.
He has about nine pills he is suppose to take, and things he wasn't suppose to eat.
She said he wasn't taking the pills, and she caught him drinking lots of soda and eating pops.
She also said he was becoming forgetful, delusional, grumpy, and very tired/weak.

Could he be in denial?????
He was always pretty sharp. Reasonably good energy. Way over weight, but seemed ok.
It just seemed that, all of a sudden he's just falling apart.
I've heard of people who get really sick, either fight it, or just give up.
Has me worried all the time.

[Ramar]

Get over and talk real hard to him; threaten him with what works. Good luck.....
Ramar

[leftiye]

Sorry to hear about his trouble. I've always been grumpy. Have for the last few years had memory issues. Just lately become delusional. Not to worry, but no soda pop, donuts, ice cream, or even gobbling up large helpings of bread and starches is reality. That may be a problem - it does get old. Sounds like he may have binged before those episodes. I'm hoping for the best for him, and you. God bless.

[Wayne Smith]

Yes, he is in denial and is killing himself. The next thing to go are the kidneys. Refusal to cooperate with treatment of diabetes is a death sentence, just slow and painful in coming. Knew a guy, thin but diabetic and kidney disease. Ate what he wanted refused dialysis, and still lived for two + years in a VA hospital.

[imashooter2]

How old is he? Sometimes a man just decides he's lived his life and is going to do what he wants and when time comes it comes....

[monadnock#5]

They're few and far between fortunately, but every once in a while someone you know will make a conscious decision that they would rather be dead than give up_______cigarettes, milk shakes, sex.......fill in the blank. Even when it takes a number of years for events to take their course, the afflicted never waver in their decision to keep on doing whatever it is that's killing them.
It would be easy to say how selfish and self centered these people are, but I've not been down that road personally, so will keep my opinions to myself.

[crowbuster]

Before my buddy found he was diabetic he acted like your friend. Suger swings can make him down right dopey, somtimes even slurred speach. Talk to him and see whats really going on, tell him you want him around a while so try the meds.

[daniel lawecki]

I'm a type 2 diabetic and have changed my ways after my last visit. I thought the magic pills would save me. Well guess what I change my eating habits and everything I use to do. Well have a friend who just lost all her toes on one foot plus three more inches of same foot. Doesn't look like fun to me TALK HARD and tell him losing body parts one piece at a time is pain full. Good luck with your friend he can win he needs a push.

[jcwit]

My best friend did the same thing. Couldn't convince him what he was doing, he too quit taking his meds.

End result, I sat by his bedside for his last week, then a week later scattered his ashes.

He was only 70, I think he was just done with this world.

[MaryB]

Chronic disease/pain gets to you after awhile. I have had my down days after 8 years of constant back pain and nerve pain/tingling/numbness in both feet/legs. Problem with me is I am to stubborn to give in. I keep on going and still do things the doc doesn't think are possible for me anymore like today I started construction on an end wall for the garage. Need more materials but got a good head start and a plan formed now. Now it is up to cash flow and hope I beat winter.

[Wise Owl]

Sorry to hear this, Do the best you can with the situation.
I know it's not easy, A prayer for him---and for you.

Sam & Julie

[searcher4851]

"She also said he was becoming forgetful, delusional, grumpy, and very tired/weak."

Quite possibly the result of taking 9 medications. Perhaps he doesn't like what the meds do to him, and doesn't want to live that way, and has chosen to put his life in God's hands. I can't fault him for that, but I would try to make sure he knows what he's doing, given the "delusional" remark.

[doc1876]

all of the above is pretty much well correct. I am hearing more and more of this all the time especially from our older veterans. there are herbs he can take which will help and hopefully maybe get off some of the meds. if you're interested I can give you a list when I get back to town next week good luck, prayers for you and him.

[abunaitoo]

Good News....
He called today. Still in the hospital.
Sounded great. Back to normal.
Mind was sharp. Laughed a bit.
Their going to keep him another two days, then kick him out.
He wants to get out badly.
Said food is terrible.
I told him to get used to it. Can't eat what or like he used to.
Told him when he get out, he's going to need to take his pills if he wants to stay out.
Now if he'll just listen.

[abunaitoo]

He's still in the hospital. Still in the ICU.
Seems to have some infection in some of the wounds.
Not sure where he got the wounds from.
Doctors don't want to let him go yet.
Must be bad.

[MaryB]

If he is diabetic foot sores are common.

[abunaitoo]

He still will not admit he's diabetic.
Is this common????

[Shooter6br]

I am in my hospital room right now. I ignored my diabetsis....I LOST WEIGHT AND EXERCISED. nOT ENGOUGH. wOUND vac on right foot......Foot would make a maggot vomid. Don't be a fool like me,, Rick

[mold maker]

My mom lived as a type one, with MS to boot, for well over 40 years. We could have much worse diseases to deal with. At least with diabetes you are in charge. If ya loose weight, faithfully take the meds, and very carefully watch your diet, you can live an almost normal life.
BTW It took the second cancer, to do Mom in, at 93, she was still dealing with the diabetes and MS.

[jsizemore]

My high blood pressure kept me on the side of contrary. Getting it under control takes some time on the right meds. Exercise and diet had no effect on me but may work for him. My doctor's description of rehab to overcome my future stroke convinced me to get it under control. Dragging my foot along didn't sound like independent living.

[DeputyDog25]

So sorry to hear about his health problems and his unwillingness to take care of himself. I will definitely keep him in prayer and ask for healing and comfort, but most of all understanding that he recognize his condition and work to overcome his health issues.

[blackthorn]

I had a friend like that. Got Diabetes and would not listen to his Dr. or the folks who loved him. Last time I saw him he was lying in a hospital bed. He had both legs off above the knee, the right index finger was off and the stump looked like it was rotten. His right middle finger was black and ready to fall off. His left index and middle fingers were both black and shriveled up. He was in constant pain and he had a morphine pump button taped to his right hand in a way that he could use his still OK thumb to push it. His kidneys had shut down almost totally. He lived another two weeks like that. I wish I had some pictures so you could show your friend what he has to look forward to if he does not take care. Dying an inch or two at a time is NOT something to look forward to. He has our sympathy and prayers.

[Fergie]

First off, my sympathies to you, your friend's wife and him as well. You are obviously concerned for his well-being.

Many people are non-compliant with both their medications and their lifestyle changes. Diabetes, heart disease, kidney disease...you name it, people don't like to admit the reality of the situation and the changes to their life that are needed. Consider too, that while people may be told they have a certain disease, they likely do not understand the implications or how it affects them.

An elevated blood glucose level(or lower one too) can affect mental capacity and moods as well. Also, different electrolytes, such as sodium, can have a great effect on mental status. He may or may not be diabetic, but could also have vascular issues, cardiac issues and kidney issues too. The body can compensate for a bit when something is out of whack, but one system, or many, will give when the strains are too much.

Not knowing the resources in your area, you may want to suggest to his wife that a Clinical Social Worker come and talk with him while at the hospital. They can assess his willingness to change his habits, as well as his understanding of the prognosis. Also, have your friend's wife check to see if there are any education programs through the hospital. There are folks that will come in prior to his discharge and talk to him and his wife at length about his diagnosis, dietary & lifestyle changes, and review his medications.

I hope he has a good recovery, and that he can turn this all around.

[jsizemore]

Does your buddy live in HI? When I was there the locals kept 50lbs of rice in a trash can for meals. Every meal.

[abunaitoo]

We're in Hawaii.
Rice is with everything.
Wife is of no help.

[jsizemore]

The rice and beer almost got me. I took to riding the bike up the Pali to Kailua and then riding the coast hwy past Coco and Diamond Head back to Pearl. Great workout. If your into stair steps, no stadium can touch the face of Diamond Head. He's just got to want to do something to get better.

[abunaitoo]

Good news.
He came to the range yesterday.
Seems to have turned the corner.
He admits diabetes.
Lost a bunch of weight.
Drinking water instead of soda.
Said he feels 90% back to normal.
We go out to dinner after range. He had a hard time deciding what he could eat.
He has a bunch of boils that got lanced, then got infected. Healing nicely, but still healing.
Still feels a little weak and tired.
I think he's going to be around for a while.
Maybe I can stop worrying a little.

[jsizemore]

My good friend went through all that. I spent as much time as I could with him so his wife could have a break. I kept him occupied with range and match maintenance and upgrades. He'd wear out and have to take a nap. He'd fall asleep with his head on one of the shooting benches. It was far easier to keep an eye on him so he wouldn't slip up with some chocolate. Good Luck to you both.