Words I hate to hear the wife mumble

[crazy mark]

When she picked me up from work the dreaded"I guess I better tell you now". This time the water heater was leaking and she turned the power off so she didn't get electrocuted. The water heater is in the garage so the leaking water didn't hurt any thing. Got a new heater and changed it out so all is fine. But for some reason that phrase just bugs me.

[nhrifle]

That phrase raises my hackles almost as quickly as, "We need to talk."

[Sweetpea]

That phrase raises my hackles almost as quickly as, "We need to talk."

That usually means, "I want you to sit there while I talk at you"...

[Chihuahua Floyd]

With my wife it means " I ran into something with the car."
Twice it was my truck in our driveway.
CF

[SciFiJim]

That phrase raises my hackles almost as quickly as, "We need to talk."

That's not a hackle raiser, that's a heart stopper! Nothing good ever comes after that phrase.

[lylejb]

If it was just a water heater, you got off easy

[TheDoctor]

the two most dreaded words a husband EVER hears is not "I Do", but...."On Sale"!

[avogunner]

My anxiety attack comes when the wife says "Honey, you'd better sit down".

[grampa243]

With my wife it means " I ran into something with the car."
Twice it was my truck in our driveway.
CF

that sounds like my wife.. and one time i was in the truck when she backed in to it.. :(

[grampa243]

the two most dreaded words a husband EVER hears is not "I Do", but...."On Sale"!

or "I had a coupon"

[miner_loads]

At my house it's "were you even listening " that's when things go south.

[frkelly74]

"We already discussed this, don't you remember?"

[6.5 mike]

Or sale & coupons, lol.

[jcameron996]

I usually tell her I can't afford to save any more money right now.

[daniel lawecki]

Or while reloading the phrase "Don't you have something better to do"

[Ed Barrett]

I always dread "Now don't get excited, but"

[nvbirdman]

"Will you help me with this"
Translation, "You do this, I don't want to"

[frkelly74]

"It looks like WE need to shovel snow/ mow the yard/ clean the garage/ clean the basement/ ect"

You know who WE is.

[wlc]

"it looks like we need to shovel snow/ mow the yard/ clean the garage/ clean the basement/ ect"

you know who we is.

amen!!!!

[dbosman]

Mine was "Darling" just before I was getting the bed covers adjusted. NOTHing good came after that.

[JeffinNZ]

It's worst when they say nothing and you find both lots of damage on the new vehicle yourself. Two dings in the first month.

[DCM]

"OK just do it your way", Realistically if you do it "your" way you will NEVER hear the end of it!
Very close to do whatever you want.

[crazy mark]

Well the worst time she told me that, I got back from a gun show in Portland. She had side swiped a bridge and said the car was OK. just some scratches on the bumpers. The whole left side of the car was messed up. She has a Kia sportage and wasn't used to my ZX2. She floored it going up the bridge and was sliding all over the place. I was wondering why the car was backed into the drive way.

[mikeym1a]

Oh, boy! I remember this stuff. Been divorced for quite a while. Reading this brought it all back, and once more I must remark, being alone is often lonely, but ever so peaceful..................:)

[GT27]

Mine is"Oh Honey"! Then it makes me think OH' ****,what did I do now? GT27

[rockrat]

"You never listen to me". I replied that of course I listened, you said "+++++++", but I just chose to ignore you!!!

[torker]

How about "Everything is Fine"

[phaessler]

"It looks like WE need to shovel snow/ mow the yard/ clean the garage/ clean the basement/ ect"

You know who WE is.

WE is ME upside-down....

[bbs70]

"We've got a problem" is the one I dread hearing.
It usually means something like, the dog got loose, or something else that isn't an emergency.
But it still makes me cringe when I hear it.

[Powder Burn]

I have a new (add any food here) recipe...but it smells funny, tell me what you think. Note: Always respond "It tastes great"...no matter what.

[RayinNH]

Doen't this ---- make me look fat.

[gray wolf]

Question--do you like the new drapes I bought ? cause if you don't we can return them.
answer well no hun i don't really like them.
Wife answer you will get use to them.

[geargnasher]

I only heard the phrase "We need to talk" one time, from my first wife.

Gear

[btroj]

I must be fortunate, my wife doesn't tend to do this stuff to me. Maybe she was well trained as a child? Sure as heck isn't because I'm a peach.....

[Mumblypeg]

"Oh, By the way"..... as she's walking out the door....

[Hawkeye45]

Every time my X opened her mouth. I could never do anything right or make enough money. I'm not perfect, but that is why she is my X !

Mr. Ed

[LUBEDUDE]

Oh, boy! I remember this stuff. Been divorced for quite a while. Reading this brought it all back, and once more I must remark, being alone is often lonely, but ever so peaceful..................:)

Oh yeah!

Peaceful is nice ! No more monologues!

[DRNurse1]

At my house it's "were you even listening " that's when things go south.

---"What?"---

[Wayne Smith]

I am eternally grateful I married a reasonable wife - most of the time. A few years ago it was "honey, can we talk?" "Did you know that last year you spent $2000 on your reloading room?" (That was the year I set everything up). My answer was something like, "No, but I knew it was something in that area. I'm almost done. By the way, just the stuff in it is worth over $3500!"

[daniel lawecki]

Over 33yrs married I heard them all many many times. But I still do pretty much anything I want she's a keeper.

[jonp]

"You know what we could do" which means "get to work and build what I want like a walk-in closet". It does keep me off of the streets.

She did look at me kinda odd a few times when I started buying bulk ammo a few years ago. She is not looking odd at me now.

[Silver Eagle]

I will fully admit that our last argument was my fault:
She asked me what was on TV as I was trying to find something to watch.
"Dust" was my response.

[gray wolf]

Honey ! we are running a little behind,
how long before you know how late we are going to be.

[WilliamDahl]

Or when she gets back from driving around town all day -- "Oh, by the way, when I left this morning, there was some check-something light lit on the dash of the car"... Oil light? Tire pressure? Check engine light? WHAT ??? I guess I shouldn't complain TOO much -- at least I finally got her to fill up her car with gas when the gas idiot light comes on -- that took QUITE a few years. It's not that I *mind* putting gas in her car, but I just don't think that it should be my responsibility to be constantly monitoring the fuel level considering the fact that I never drive it.

And then there is the case where you are getting ready to go out for an all day planned endeavor (e.g. gun show, hunting, etc) and she tells you at the last minute that something on her computer or phone is not working and wants you to fix it right then even though she has knows about it for days already. Why are we expected to drop everything for them but they can spend all day getting their hair and nails done and if we question them about it to see when to expect them back, we are considered "controlling" or whatever? At some point, you just get old enough that you have to think that putting up with the BS of women is not worth the little amount of sex that you get from them anyway. And getting a younger model is not an option since that just means that you end up with one that is even more braindead than the one that you already have.

"The more I understand women, the more I appreciate my dog."

[farmerjim]

Honey, I'M Home ! Worst three words to hear while making Love.

[jonp]

I will fully admit that our last argument was my fault:
She asked me what was on TV as I was trying to find something to watch.
"Dust" was my response.
:drinks: Followed by "....and then the fight started"

[popper]

Not sure I ever heard any of those words from the wife. SHe is always on time, never misplaces anything and always listens to me. Except for the time she wanted to go to a sale and couldn't find her purse or keys.

[bbs70]

I've been married to the same woman for 44 years , we have 2 grown married daughters.
I'm definitely no expert on women, but I have noticed several things about them.

They LOVE attention and are willing to do almost anything to get it, some more than others.

If you pretend to ignore them (Wife) they will do almost anything to get your attention back.:grin:

They are highly sentimental, and will cry at the drop of a hat.

They will use fake tears to get their way.

They tell you they are dieting, exercising, coloring their hair, dressing etc , all to make you proud to be seen with them.

In reality they are doing it for their own ego.

They are insecure creatures that will do things, some stupid, just to see if you care, something like a little child trying to get their parents attention.

I've heard us husbands have our own faults, but I can't imagine what they would be.[smilie=1:

I'm almost 66 and over the years have tried to protect myself from Estrogen poisoning in the house, (1 wife & 2 Daughters).
Sometimes you just got to grin & bare it.
Or you can mess with their minds, which is always fun if you do it right.

Buy some flowers from a flower shop, flowers from a convenience store WILL NOT do.
Make sure you do this when there is no special occasion coming up.
And when asked why you did it say, just because I thought they were pretty and they reminded me of you.

If possible call them from work and say you were just thinking about them and just wanted to hear their voice.

When they're getting dressed to go some where say " Damn, you make those clothes look good".

Stare at her occasionally without saying anything, and when she finally asks what you're doing tell her you almost forgot how beautiful she was.


Yeah, I know you have to fudge on the truth a little, but sometimes its worth it to keep them happy and off your back.:grin: