My Son is Missing!

[303Guy]

Hello all, this is trying time for me and my family. My son disappeared this morning. He was travelling from Christchurch (JeffinNZ's part of the world) to meet his mother at a small town airport (Blenheim) and never arrived. They were supposed catch a ferry and drive to Auckland where he was to live. He is now officially missing some 19 hours after last contact in which he sent a text to say he was going to sleep on the side of the road near a river. That was just after midnight and it's now 7 pm. His mobile still receives but he doesn't respond. It doesn't sound good and I do fear for the worst. Hold thumbs for him folks.

[220]

Not good
Can you get a location on his phone
Hope it end well

[nhrifle]

I am too far away to do any good, but I will be praying for the safe return of your son.

[jmort]

Praying for your son to be safe and sound.

[Teddy (punchie)]

Yes praying for him to be safe.

[AkMike]

The police should be able to use the phone company to locate the phone as long as it's active.
Praying for him.

[MtGun44]

Prayer sent for his safe return to you.

Bill

[mpbarry1]

prayers sent!

[303Guy]

Thank you all for your kindness. I'm hoping the police will attempt to locate his phone. Lets hope there is a less ominous explanation for his disappearance. But I am very worried!

[DLCTEX]

Prayers sent.

[Driver man]

Its a worry. I hope it works out ,Blenheim is such a safe little town usually.Ive camped out there from time to time over the years without issue.I sure hope there is a simple reason. My thoughts and best wishes are with you and your family. Please keep us posted.

[merlin101]

I am too far away to do any good, but I will be praying for the safe return of your son.

Prayers know no distance! Prayers sent

[Afro408]

Bloody hell. :( Hope he turns up safe and sound soon mate.

[Ajax]

Prayers sent.

Andy

[fivegunner]

Hope this turns out well.

[Muskyhunter1]

I am sure everything will turn out ok. I will pray for you folks.

[nekshot]

Praying for you and all involved.

[Ramar]

He's on my prayer list
Ramar

[Lloyd Smale]

wow! talk about making my problems feel small. My wife and i will pray for a good end result here. Have faith in God and pray.

[DCP]

wow! talk about making my problems feel small. My wife and i will pray for a good end result here. Have faith in God and pray.

He just put a lot of things in perspective for me

[Riverpigusmc]

Prayers sent for a good outcome

[Wayne Smith]

Praying for his safe return. God is capable.

[Sweetpea]

Prayers coming, friend.

[DIRT Farmer]

Prayers sent
Alan

[Charlie Two Tracks]

Prayer said for your son's safe return.

[s mac]

I too pray that all is well.

[w5pv]

Prayers sent for his safety and return to you not harmed in ay way.

[blackthorn]

Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!

[pmer]

Prayers out to you and your family 303Guy.

[Comrade Mike]

Hope everything turns out okay :(

[RichardSATX]

Prayers for your son.
Richie

[square butte]

You have our prayers - For your son and the family

[jumbeaux]

My Prayers sir...

rick

[Bzcraig]

Prayers offered

[JonB_in_Glencoe]

Sayin' prays for your family

[429421Cowboy]

I can't even imagine. Please keep us updated, I will be saying prayers for your family!

[Bo1]

I pray that your son returns to you safely, in Jesus' name... amen

[TheCelt]

Prayers for you and your family Sir

[mikeym1a]

A parents nightmare. My thoughts and hopes are with you. God bless and keep you. mikey

[Three-Fifty-Seven]

I'm praying for your son and family!

Any word yet?

Get after the police to find location of phone, keep after them ...

[tanstafl10]

prayers offered

[missionary5155]

Greetings
We are praying for God's help locating your son also.
Mike in Peru

[taiden]

One time I scared my mother half to death by going to Montreal instead of white water rafting with my senior class. My phone battery quit on the way up. She nearly strangled me when I came home. I might have had a hell of a time crossing the border on the way back if she had reported me missing.

I hope he's shacking up with some cute blonde right now.

But regardless, I wish your family the best and please keep us updated. I'm sure he's safe.

[Certaindeaf]

Hopefully he just lost his phone.. find the phone. What a nightmare for you.. hope he's OK.

[Blacksmith]

You are in our prayers.

[smokeywolf]

Just discovered your thread. The smokeywolf family is praying for your son's safe return. May God give you strength.

[woody1]

Something like this makes us realize how small most of our own problems really are. I just can't imagine the feeling......best wishes for a safe return. Regards, Woody

[Freightman]

Prayers sent

[Loudenboomer]

Prayers sent

[gray wolf]

Well one thing about prayers, --- there's always room for one more and Our Lord turns no one away.
So I am adding my prayers for your son an his well being.

GW

[johniv]

Prayers for your sons safety

[.429]

#praying

[1Shirt]

Praying for you!
1Shirt!

[David2011]

Prayers for his safe return!

David

[Mk42gunner]

Any word yet?

Praying that he turns up with a good story.

Robert

[searcher4851]

Prayers sent.

[Wis. Tom]

Praying that this will work out and God's protection over your son.

[slim1836]

I also pray for the safe return of your son.

Slim

[WilliamDahl]

I'm confused... That's only 310 km according to Google Maps -- about a 4 hour trip. Why would he stop?

[Smoke4320]

when I was a young'un (well before cell phones) on the way from college I just got too tired to drive any further.. pulled on the side of the road and slept 4 hours.. Mother was ready to kill me when I arrived home .. I hope it is something like this and your son is ok . I will offer prayers as well

[swheeler]

303 I'm sure everthing is fine and he will show up late but safe and sound.

[wlc]

My prayers added for a safe outcome as well.

[Herb in Pa]

Add me to the prayer sent list........

[forfun]

prayer sent for safe return..

[AlaskanGuy]

Praying as we speak.... Any update???? What is your sons name???

AG

[Artful]

Prayers sent for being found in good shape.

[MrWolf]

I can't even imagine what you are going through. Prayers sent.

[robertbank]

My heart goes out to you and your family. Our prayers are with your family.

Take Care

Bob

[Trey45]

You, your family and especially your son are in my prayers. I pray that everything is fine.

Further, I had to clean up an off color post from this thread. I cannot express my disappointment in having to do so in a thread of this nature. What if it was YOUR CHILD gone missing? THINK before you post.

[firefly1957]

Prayers for your son's safe return.

[RogerDat]

Hopes and prayers with your son and family.

It would be important that the police do a phone location attempt before the battery dies.

[Char-Gar]

This is awful, truly awful. I am praying with great fervor.

[Brucifer]

We pray for your sons safe return

[jcwit]

Hoping and Praying this will all work out well.

[bhn22]

Every parents worst fear. We're here to do whatever we can to help.

[DIRT Farmer]

Another prayer.

Thanks Trey45, we need to keep the focus.

[shoot-n-lead]

Prayers for your son and family.

Keep faith that this will workout fine.

[horsesoldier]

Prayers sent!

[Ajax]

Remember you have a family here too if you need any thing you let us know and we can make it happen.

Andy

[MT Gianni]

Prayers ongoing.

[Beau Cassidy]

I wish for the best outcome. Keep us updated.

[doctorggg]

I pray to God that your son turns up safe and sound. I know you must be deeply upset at this time and may God give you and your family peace.

[gbrown]

I'm praying for a good ending. Just saw this. May God be with you.

[garym1a2]

I pray for you and your son.

[bayjoe]

You and your son are in our thoughts and prayers.

[waksupi]

Praying for a safe return.

[xs11jack]

Yes, I am praying for a safe return.
Ole Jack

[Dean D.]

I just found this thread, my prayers go out for you Son's safe return.

[MaryB]

prayers sent and please keep us updated

[300savage]

i cant begin to imagine what you are going through but my heart goes out to you. i will be praying for his safe return.

[303Guy]

Thank you all for your support and prayers.

Sorry it has taken me this long to update. I've been with family.

At midnight (24 hours after his last communication) I was awoken to receive news that Denver had been found. He had taken his own life.

He was where he said he had found a spot to sleep. He was found there with the car engine still running. By the time I posted I was sure he was not alive but couldn't understand what could have happened to him. It's the South Island - it's safe to stop on the side of the road in the middle of the night!

He will be sorely missed by his family (he has a brother), extended family and friends, including Facebook friends. I still can't believe he is gone. I am heartbroken as you can imagine.


I'm confused... That's only 310 km according to Google Maps -- about a 4 hour trip. Why would he stop?

He left Christchurch late in the afternoon/evening and arrived at his destination just before midnight when he took a side country road to find a spot to camp and sleep. The spot was too small to throw up a tent but he would sleep there anyway. That was the last communication from him.

So what went wrong? Well, the police did not recover his wallet.

Soon after leaving Christchurch he phoned his mother because he was in distress. He was having a melt-down. Well, she talked him into a calmer state and by the time he passed Kaikoura (about halfway) he was feeling OK and had gone on Facebook during a break. What I surmise happened is that after stopping and getting out his car he discovered his wallet missing. I know him - this would have been explosive to him under his distressed condition and it was just too much and he gave up and took the only way out that his distressed an irrational mind knew. It was the proverbial straw. I'm guessing he put the wallet on the car roof when getting in and in his distressed state forgot it there. His money for food, fuel and all his cards were in that wallet - his life. His death was an accident - it wasn't supposed to happen. He was coming home after making huge strides in himself over the last two years but the move and leaving his security was very unsettling but he would have continued his growth had the event not occurred. With that knowledge I am able to understand his suicide. It has an explanation. But what hurts even more is that he was in recovery and I thought he was going to be a whole person again (he had a major breakdown several years ago). The pipe would have been in his car as he had considered this way out on a previous occasion as we learned from his flatmate and best friend (who is also gutted).

[OBIII]

Words cannot express my sympathy and condolences for this outcome. Prayers for him and you and all of the family are the best that I can do.

OB

[Alvarez Kelly]

I can only add my condolences. May the good memories overtake the painful ones soon.

[horsesoldier]

You have my condolences 303. I too have experienced loss from suicide and it was and still is heartwrenching.

[303Guy]

I feel for you, horsesoldier. I have always felt a great compassion for those who have suffered such a loss. It's a parents worst nightmare come true. Now it's my nightmare.

[leadman]

303guy, There are no words that I can write now to express my sorrow over this event. My son had troubles in the past and we worried the same might become him.
Glad you have family around you at a time like this. They will need your support as well as you needing theirs.

[hithard]

My deepest sympathy to you and your family. I wish you all peace in this troubling time.

[303Guy]

Thank you. My new avatar is Denver from two years ago after he shot his first hare. That day was the beginning of his recovery from his breakdown. Soon after this he was able to hold down a part time job for the first time in several years. Then it went to full time and finally after two years of lots of ups and downs he came up for Christmas a changed and wonderful person. Three weeks later ...... I didn't even take photo's of him this last time as I was so confident.

[WilliamDahl]

Sounds like a "troubled kid". My condolences, on all counts.

[AkMike]

You and yours have my heartfelt sympathy. This is tragic .

[merlin101]

Words sound so so hollow but all we can do is say it. I'm so very sorry! This shouldn't ever happen to a parent, I really was hopeing he had went with a friend.

[dromia]

What a tragedy for you all.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

[freebullet]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I pray- God bless you and your family with the strength to carry on, with your sons loving memory in your hearts
Amen

[303Guy]

Yes, he was a very trouble kid, right from primary school. He had Asperger's which made him socially awkward as a kid and he struggled in class. He was a very intelligent lad and a great guy. By adulthood he had learned social skills and had become quite popular and the girls would kill for him. But depression and anxiety tormented him.

Just a curious snippet - Denver was as a baby and toddler, one of the 'worlds strongest babies' and a happy chap. Things turned to custard in primary school in the classroom environment.

[Certaindeaf]

Aye.. breakheart dangit. If you or yours are ever over in these lands, my hand is proffered out. with a brotherly slap of course. Oh God.

[trochilids]

So sorry to read this, 303. Your avatar of Denver looks great -- thanks for sharing that. I love the smile on his face. Our prayers for comfort and peace are with you and your family as well as Denver's other friends. The loss of a loved one effects so many...

[Driver man]

I didnt want to hear this. I am real sorry , nothing we can say will help your pain but my sympathies are profound. I feel the loss and offer my condolences . If you need to talk pm me and I will call you when I can. I am so sorry.

[missionary5155]

I have no words to write that can say how I wish I could sit with you and just be there. I have a couple of sons also. May God give you and your family peace and hold you together in His Love.
Mike in Peru

[Ajax]

I am sorry for your loss, no parent should have to out live their child. My son has aspergers and this is a constant worry for me. I am praying for Denver and his friends and family.
My allergies are acting up this morning as my eyes seem to be watering. May gods blessings be upon your house and may you find peace in the fact that he is no longer fighting his inner demons.

Andy

[Muskyhunter1]

My sincerest condolences to you and your family. My Wife and I really feel for you and your family from the bottom of our hearts. We too have a son with Aspergers. Some really trying times for sure and we have an idea of some of the things you went thru.

Please take care of yourselves and be strong. You always have friends here.

God Bless.

[MrWolf]

I am so sorry words just don't work. I am sitting here thinking of my own kids and cannot even begin to understand the depth of your loss. Prayers for you and your family.

[Thin Man]

Words are not sufficient to give you the consolation I wish to pass your way. Losing a loved one is always a difficult experience, more so when a parent loses a child. This just isn't supposed to happen, the parent should go before the child. I pray that God will spread his grace among you and your loved ones. Your son cannot be with you, but you can still love him. Love him with your fondest memories, and love him with your heart. Love him forever.

Thin Man

[nekshot]

I feel your pain 303 guy as I lost a son 22 years ago but thank God healing does come. Our family is praying for your family.

[Lloyd Smale]

Wow im just floored. I dont know how you could even find the strenght to take the time to explain it to us. Only thing i can say is to believe that that next time you see him he will be the happy man you allways wanted to see. His pain is over now. I dont know about the rest of the guys here but id kind of like you to post a paypal address or a mailing address. I think maybe we could round up enough guys here to pitch in 5 bucks a piece to buy some flowers for his funeral or maybe help with funeral expenses. God bless you and your family in the next few days.

[DIRT Farmer]

I have worked these scenes far to many tmes in my career and still have no clue what to say. I will pray for you and your family.

[PbHurler]

So very sorry to hear this 303, My deepest condolences...

[JonB_in_Glencoe]

Sorry for your loss,
I have lost a close friend and also a 'way too young' (16 yr) relative to suicide in the last couple of years. NO WORDS...I just don't understand.

[texassako]

Deepest condolences 303Guy, so sorry for your loss.

[square butte]

We are so very sorry for your loss. You and family are in our prayers. We wish you comfort at this time.

[Gar]

Sorry for your lose, praying for you and the family.

[DCP]

I know this words 1st hand are just words right now. I hope and pray soon we both understand.

Vaya con Dios

In this sad world of ours.
Sorrow comes to all.
It comes with bitterest agony.
Perfect relief is not possible.
Except with time.
You can not now realize that you will ever feel better.
Is not this so?
And yet it is a mistake.
You are sure to be happy again.
To know this, which is certainly true.
Will make you some less miserable now.
I have had experience enough to know what I say.


Abraham Lincoln

[xs11jack]

I am so sorry for lose of your wonderful son. I pray for peace in your hearts.
Ole Jack

[pmer]

Such a terrible loss. My deepest, most humble feelings for the loss of your son.

Please go to the Spirit and ask for Gods strength to help see family and friends through.

[EMC45]

I am saddened by this and you have my deapest sympathies.

[GunnyJohn]

There are no words. My families hearts and prayers go out to you and yours.

[Thumbcocker]

In June my daughter and only child ended her life with one of my .44's and a boolit I had cast. She had asbergers and, I think, just got tired of fighting it. She was honestly the most compassionate and loving human being I have ever known. People with asbergers are 28 times more likely to end their lives than other people and suicide is the number 2 casue of death for yong adults in the U.S.
I feel your pain and you are in my prayers. If you should want to talk you can pm me for my number. You should know that the people here will offer help and those offers are not just empty words. I do not easily accept help but I leaned hard on the support offered here because it was real. Live minute by minute for now. The grief will come in waves. Let them come. It is a process that must be endured and can't be rushed if you try to push it will push back.

In time your ability to deal with the hurt will improve but it will never go away. Do not think far ahead just live minute by minute and think of the good times. I wish you peace.

[DeanWinchester]

I feel like I should say something but what can a man say?
I'm very sorry, if you need anything just ask.

[blackthorn]

Words cannot express the empathy we feel for you and your family. Know only that you are in our thoughts and prayers.

[captaint]

I can only add my sorrow for the loss of your Son. I can't imagine that pain. I have 3 kids of my own. Mike

[parson48]

Prayers from Indiana for all impacted by this tragedy.

[bnelson06]

My deepest sympathy goes out to you and your family

[pworley1]

So sorry for your loss.

[Teddy (punchie)]

What can be said , just God Bless, hope You get some comfort some way.

Praying is all we can do, trust in the Lord.

Buddy had a great, great aunt that out lived her 7 children . They said it was one of the hardest things she had to do was watch her kids go before her. She was 100 plus years old (104?) last son was in his 80's when he died.

[robertbank]

My heart sank this morning when I read your post. We have a son who suffers from depression and ours is a constant fear. Our prayers are with you and your family.

Take Care

Bob

[bruce drake]

Another Indiana Prayer is heading your way for strength to be lent to your family during this time.

Bruce

[Bzcraig]

I am so sorry and can't even imagine the pain and sorrow you feel. I will be praying for you all.

[smokeywolf]

Mrs. smokeywolf read your posts and although all you can see are my words, if you could see her tears, you would know how truly saddened we are at your loss.

smokeywolf

[Dean D.]

I am heartbroken and terribly saddened with this news. Please accept my most sincere condolences 303Guy. Words mean little in times like this but please know that I will continue to keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

[mpbarry1]

I had tears in my eyes when I read your post last night. Please accept my heartfelt condolences.

[youngda9]

My deepest condolances. Sorry for your loss.

[Olevern]

Please accept our condolences and know that we are praying for the survivors.

[TheCelt]

303Guy, I am deeply saddened by your tragic loss. I pray that God's mercy be upon you and your family and that he grant you and yours strength. I cannot begin to understand the loss you are suffering and can only say that I am heartbroken for you.

[Three-Fifty-Seven]

I will continue to pray for you and your family

[mikeym1a]

So sorry to hear this. I would be devastated if one of my kids passed before me. My deepest condolences and heartfelt wishes for your peace of mind, and a return to happiness. God bless you and your family.

mikey

[theperfessor]

I too am saddened by the events you have experienced. I am not good enough with words to say anything that can ease your feelings right away, but I just wanted to let you know that another Hoosier is thinking of you and your family and has your back and hopes you find peace. You are a valued member of this community and you have a lot of friends here who want to help in any way they can.

[Stonecrusher]

My heartfelt condolences to you sir. You and yours will be in my families prayers. May God's grace bring you peace.

[AlaskanGuy]

I am so sorry for your loss sir... I pray for your family and you. May the lord give you stregnth sir.

I also worry about this kind of thing.. I believe most parents worry about this, but especially those with a special needs child.. My son has autism. Thier lives are so much harder then we can understand with their differences. They make easy targets for others to destroy things like self esteem, and self confidence... It is one of the reasons i live remote like i do. Its like chickens pecking on a weaker chick... It just sucks... You hope to protect, and do whatever you can.

I am so sorry for this outcome sir... May the lord Jesus give you stregnth...

AlaskanGuy

[gkainz]

You and your family are in our prayers for God's peace, comfort and solace in a time of great hurt and grief. I am so sorry for your loss. Words cannot convey, but again, we're praying for you and your family.

[Recluse]

303Guy,

Your loss is devastating and overwhelming to all of us, yet it represents an opportunity and a challenge. There are cries for help and pleas for understanding all around us everyday. But in this age of smart phones and wi-fi and instant me-first gratification, we either do not see or hear those pleas, or worse, we procrastinate and assure ourselves that "we'll address that person tomorrow or the next time I see her or him."

Tomorrow is a gift, a promise, a reward. . . but what it is not now and never will be is a guarantee or a certainty.

The demons that come with mental irregularities born of a cause we will never fully know or understand are formidable, to be sure. But the love and compassion that God has graced us with is more powerful.

Evil wants us to be bitter and resentful when it takes a loved one from us. Grace and Goodness wants to use that loss to multiply a hundred-fold the opportunity to help and understand those likewise afflicted with the demons who urge one to take their own life.

So often we are so busy that we miss the subtle signs of impending trouble. So often we are engaged in our own problems, trivial as they may be when compared with the life or death struggles some around us are making on a daily basis.

By everything you have written and expressed to us about your dear son, I would respectfully submit that while his loss will always leave a wound in your heart that might never quite heal, nothing would help heal the soul and spirit of your son more than you, and me, and all of us accepting his circumstances and using them to open our own eyes a bit wider to those like Denver who are around us on a daily basis.

How often do we see or suspect those around us who "don't seem quite right" at times, but brush it off? How often are we blessed with the opportunity to perhaps simply smile or say a kind word to someone who is obviously struggling or angry or confused, yet we ignore them while checking our text messages? How often have we had the opportunity to take five stinking minutes out of our otherwise fulfilled day to simply have a brief and honest conversation with someone who is obviously not having a good day?

Our problem is that the world and the hyper-competitive nature it has evolved into teaches us to "swing for the fence" in terms of wanting every swing of the bat, every kick of the football, every pumping of the legs in a race to settle for nothing less than absolute gold. Winner takes all.

How about instead we stop for a moment and spare a moment or two of our time and our love for those we do not know who are struggling. We have no way of knowing the effects of a kind word, a compassionate hand on the shoulder, a warm handshake, the offer to pay for one's coffee or tea. . . you never know when you just became the catalyst that convinced the person on the receiving end of your kindness that no, today is NOT the day I depart this world. Someone cares. Someone took the time to show me compassion and friendship, and even if I never see them again, I'll never forget.

This, 303Guy, can be the legacy your son Denver has left not only for you, your family and friends in your part of the world, but for all of here that are part of your extended but very real family.

I offer my prayers and comforting thoughts to you and your family, my friend.

:coffee:

[Texas Tinker]

Father... Place your loving hand over him and guide him safely back home to his loved ones.

Amen

[WILCO]

I am so sorry for your loss sir... I pray for your family and you. May the lord give you stregnth sir.

Well said. Sorry to learn of this.

[Firebricker]

303, I am so sorry for you and your family,s loss I am praying for all of you and have my deepest condolences. It was hard losing three friends over the years this way but I will not even pretend to have a clue of the pain of losing a child. FB

[shooterg]

Sorry just ain't a big enough word.

[rockrat]

My heart goes out to you and all your family. Was praying for a good outcome and shocked to read what happened. Words cannot express my feelings right now, so I won't even try. :(

[catmandu]

Please accept mine and my families heartfelt condolence. About 5 years ago at Christmas my family had a similar loss. I understand in part and my heart feels your pain. I will keep you in my prayers and want you to know that you are not alone.
May a prayer be said for each tear shed.

Paul in WNY

[shdwlkr]

I am so sorry for your loss, I lost a teenage daughter a few years ago and yes I can still remember the last day of her young life as she spent most of it with dad. She was very sick and in poor health so at least in my case it was not all bad. She was free from the pain, the total lack of ability to do almost anything. But she is still missed her laugh would get anyone to join in.
It took its tole on the marriage also and things went south then ended

The good thing is life will go forward and you remember the good times and yes the sad but the good will become more of the memories as time goes by.

If I had lots of money I would build a hospital in her memory so others could enjoy family as long as this life will allow. Bye the way the hospital would have been called "Bre Bre's House" sounds so much more friendly then being called a hospital. She has been gone 8 years now.

This summer her older brother that stays in touch with dad will go visit her grave which is a long ways away from where we are now. He is also a challenged young man in this life but much better off than his sister was.

The memories of that last day are drifting across my mind as I write this and yes it is still a sad time

May the good Lord keep you and yours in his loving arms

[gray wolf]

Men, at times i am very good with words, this is not one of those times.
I can't imagine the loss and pray for you and your family also for the departed the departed.
My sincere condolences.

sam

[brtelec]

I am truly sorry for your loss. As a parent and grand parent this is the one thing we deeply dread. I will be thinking about you and your family during this trying time.

[Blizzard63]

I am so sorry to hear about something like this. :( I know that the good Lord will heal with time. You are all in my prayers.

[9w1911]

very sorry

[David2011]

303,

I am so sorry for you and your family. Please know that in time the great positive memories will wash away the feelings you are experiencing now. I know this because I lost my first wife 26 years ago today due to cancer. Yes, I still miss her but life has gone on and only the good memories remain. It took a few years but will come for your family in time as it did ours.

David

[Heavy lead]

303,
I'm truly saddened by this and am so sorry for your loss.
I'm praying for Denver and your family.

[303Guy]

Thank you all for your support. It really does help - a lot. Even though I weep as I read. I also realise there are others who have suffered loss and my sympathy and condolences goes out to you. There are also others who face the same fears. I feared this very thing for the last ten years. I don't know what to advise those who have youngsters with difficulties - with demons inside them. My son described a monster inside him that he continually had to fight down. That was at Christmas when he was doing so well. My God, I grieve for him!

We are all planning to go down to Blenheim to fetch him and bring him home. This going to be challenging - driving a vehicle with him in a casket. It will be our final journey with him, bringing him home and completing the journey that he started. My God, I so wish he was still with us!

[ElDorado]

You have my deepest condolences. God bless you and your family.

[429421Cowboy]

My goodness. I cannot imagine what your family is going through right now. Please accept my heartfelt condolences to you and your family. You will all be in my prayers for peace and understanding in the coming days.
Let me know if there is something I can do for you.
God Bless,
Brandon.

[hardy]

Words cannot convey my sadness,my commiserations to you and yours.Mike

[Menner]

303
I offer my heart felt condolences and I know that words fall short of how everyone that has replied to you feels, some with experiences much like your own. I have attended to many funerals for young men and woman that had a lot of life to live. Sometimes it can be to much and they can figure no other way out. Time will not heal but will soften the ache know that he has left his monsters behind and I am sure that he loved his Mother and Father but in his mind he ran out of options.
All we can do is:
Remember the good forgive the bad and Smile when you think of him.
Tony

[No_1]

God be with him, you, and your family.

[220]

My condolences, I can not begin to imagine the pain you must be feeling, thoughts and prayers are with you.

[WilliamDahl]

Having recently had a friend die suddenly and another die after fighting cancer for quite awhile, I'm not sure which is worse. With the prolonged illness, you know that the person is going to eventually die and you see them wasting away. With the sudden death, you are kind of in shock. In my case, the deaths were totally unrelated and happened within a couple of days of each other. Even the sudden death was a medical issue, so it's not like anyone could be blamed for it. All I know for a fact though is that I've gone to way too many funerals over the last year.

[alrighty]

My deepest condolences for you and your family.

[SGTM9]

So sorry to hear of your loss. As a father I can not imagine the pain. Be strong. Eventually it will become tolerable. You and yours are in my prayers.

[Nrut]

Sorry for your loss 303 Guy..
I am beyond words..

[Fishman]

I am sorry.

[peterthevet]

303 Guy.................so sorry to hear your sad news.....................tears shed for you,your family and your beautiful son Denver. I don't know what to say really, I will keep you all in my prayers and thoughts. I just imagined.................. your son soaring high in a breathtakingly beautiful sky..........................over your stunning South Island................looking down and watching over his loving family................

[altheating]

303Guy,
Sorry to hear about your son. We just went through this last week with on of my sons friends. Keep the memories of the good times with him alive. You may be a half a world away, but your Cast Boolit family will be there for you. God Bless!

[starmac]

When I was young I was pretty good at disappearing for days at a time, probably drove my folks nuts. I kept coming back to this hoping to see a positive ending. I can't imagine the hurt you are going through, and know nothing to say to help your pain. we will continue to pray for you and your family to find peace in your grief.

[kweidner]

I cannot imagine. My prayers to you and your family. I lost a good friend the same way about 5 years ago. My wife found him. I do understand the shock and will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers.

[shoot-n-lead]

I am so sorry to hear this.

I can only hope that you and your family will be able to find piece with this in the not so distant future.

You will continue be in my thoughts and prayers.

[shdwlkr]

303
I didn't mention this in my last post but maybe it will help.
My first wife was murdered 34 years ago this January 7, 2014, no advance warning just a police officer knocking on the door at 11pm to let me know she had been killed. I cried for two weeks almost constantly, was an emotional wreck and had to take care of funeral arrangements, deal with attorneys issues and also be a dad to my two kids. I took over a month off from work, when I went back co-workers were not sure what to say or do, she worked with the same guys and gals as I did. Was really hard on everyone then one day totally out of the blue someone without thinking happened to mention one of the silly little things she used to do at work and then saw me and the look was just to funny that I laughed so hard I cried. The individual was so upset that they had done that, but I told them that was most likely the kindest thing they could have done for me as you see it was one of the good things about her.

I am telling you this so you understand pieces of this event will never leave you and things will send you back to this time. What you need to do when it happens is remember the good things, the fun times and let the rest go. I have attended so many funerals I do my best now to miss them, not because I don't want to remember the individual, but because I don't want to remember others. I buried so many when we had a thing called the Vietnam War going on, all military funerals that I lost count.

We will all leave this life one day and meet our maker, we can only hope we have traveled the path he wished us, did the best we could with the challenges of this life and that we can be with him for eternity. May all in your home feel the love of our Lord and master and that he gives you peace and comfort in this stressful time in your lives.

[cdet69]

My heart sank when I heard this. Words can not express how sorry I feel for your loss.

[tunnug]

Please accept my condolences, I also have a child with aspergers and although he seems ok with it it's still a deep pain of mine to watch the struggle of his daily life, my prayers go out to you, your family and friends.

[Pb Burner]

I'm so sorry to hear to hear this. My prayers go out for Denver, you, and your family. I'm just at a loss for words as I can't imagine what your going through. Try to stay strong and dwell on the good memories.

[geargnasher]

Thank you all for your support. It really does help - a lot. Even though I weep as I read. I also realise there are others who have suffered loss and my sympathy and condolences goes out to you. There are also others who face the same fears. I feared this very thing for the last ten years. I don't know what to advise those who have youngsters with difficulties - with demons inside them. My son described a monster inside him that he continually had to fight down. That was at Christmas when he was doing so well. My God, I grieve for him!

We are all planning to go down to Blenheim to fetch him and bring him home. This going to be challenging - driving a vehicle with him in a casket. It will be our final journey with him, bringing him home and completing the journey that he started. My God, I so wish he was still with us!


I just found this thread and read every word. While no one who hasn't been in your place today can understand your devastation, I can understand Denver's struggle because I live with the same affliction. There have been and surely will be times that I envy him. It may be difficult or impossible for neurotypical folks to have any sort of true appreciation for the depths of mind-altering anxiety, depression, explosive/implosive meltdowns, and pure, savage STRESS that an Aspie must endure, a fact that exacerbates the whole issue for us. Those reading this who are unfamiliar, imagine the most stressed and desperate hour of your life, and make that every hour of every day. No medication can fix it, no therapy can cure it. For one on "the spectrum", there is no "getting over it", only enduring and coping, which involves a lot of isolated decompression time and a tremendous amount of personal will to "Keep Calm and Carry On" through the dark times. Sometimes it is terribly difficult to make oneself believe that there will ever be another "ok" moment worth living for. Sometimes life is good, despite being born on the wrong planet, and sometimes the crushing weight is just too much.

I grieve with you, and for your son, and I am sure that he loved you with all his heart. Don't ever think you didn't do all you could do.

Ian

[Gibbs44]

My condolences to you, your family and all who new your son. Prayers sent.

[fortysomething]

Deepest condolences to you and your family. I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through.

[350Gr]

Your family is in our thought and prayers... may the Lord God ease your pain and comfort you at this tragic time.

[Porterhouse]

303,
I found this thread just as soon as you posted. Didn't know what to say other than praying for your son's safe return. Now I found out what you are going through and all what I wish is, I'm over there with you and give you a big hug. I know nothing can replace the loss of yours but that all I can think of right now...

[btroj]

I can't even begin to imagine the agony your family is gong thru. Having a 20 year old child I can understand the difficulties they face and the fears of a parent.

Stay strong for the rest of your family but don't forget to grieve yourself.

Your family here is thinking of you and keeping you in their prayers.

[bayjoe]

My sincerest condolences to you and your family. We will keep you and your family in our thoughts and prayers.

[sljacob]

My heart goes out to you and your family...let each one of us here take a little of your pain and help you carry it.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[DLCTEX]

May God bless and comfort this family.

[Elkins45]

I am so very sorry for your loss.

[bear67]

Our prayers are with you. We lost a child many years ago and I would have not survived without two things. One was the power of prayer and a loving church and community who prayed for and with us. The other was a good friend who had suffered a similar loss and stood by me and supported me, both mentally and physically.

I hope and pray that you and your family have both of the things that helped me in those hard times.

[IridiumRed]

So sorry for your loss

[DRNurse1]

May God grant you Peace in your heart and His Grace to get through this difficult time. Those left behind are in a most difficult place. I pray your son's pain remains with him and does not carry on through you. Our prayers are with you.

[MBTcustom]

So sorry for your loss. I remember you talking about him in PM a couple years ago.
He's at piece now. No fear, no torment, no trouble.
We will all meet together in a little while my friend.
Prayers are being lifted up for you here. Just take it one minute at a time.

[Artful]

I'm very sorry to hear this outcome, my deepest sympathy and condolences to you and your family.

[krag35]

My prayers for you and your family in this hour of trial. You and yours have my deepest condolences.

[Frank46]

I cannot find the words to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. Frank

[eljefeoz]

Deepest condolences,mate.
RIP

[MaryB]

Prayers for the rest of the family, this is hard to deal with.

[303Guy]

Thank you all once again for your comforting words (even though I weep as I read them).

Just an update; We found Denver's wallet so that theory is put to rest. His demons just overwhelmed him.

I've been reading his Facebook page. The number of his friends and acquaintances who have expressed their sadness and grief at his passing is overwhelming. And they have all said the same thing - that he was a beautiful person with the kindest heart and brightest smile that lightened up the world. And a sensitive soul. Some said he was the most wonderful person to have walked this earth. The photo's posted are quite wonderful too.

Denver and his best friend, Gethan.

http://i388.photobucket.com/albums/oo327/303Guy/DenverandGethanDec2013_zpsd21d59f8.jpeg (http://s388.photobucket.com/user/303Guy/media/DenverandGethanDec2013_zpsd21d59f8.jpeg.html)

[jeepyj]

With a heavy heart my thoughts and prayers are with you. Can't even begin to imagine your pain.
Jeepyj

[Idaho Mule]

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. JW

[wallenba]

303Guy, I've made no previous post on this thread, but I have been watching it intently, praying for the best. I feel so bad to be learning only this morning of your loss. I can't imagine how you feel. You seem to be a very strong person, with God's help, and your family's, and the castboolit family you have here, your pain will ease. God bless you. Continuing prayers.

[303Guy]

http://i388.photobucket.com/albums/oo327/303Guy/Denver_zps79a2ba2e.jpeg (http://s388.photobucket.com/user/303Guy/media/Denver_zps79a2ba2e.jpeg.html)

[Alvarez Kelly]

GREAT photo! Good memories are priceless.

[303Guy]

http://i388.photobucket.com/albums/oo327/303Guy/DenversFirstHare_zps8b4d2844.jpg (http://s388.photobucket.com/user/303Guy/media/DenversFirstHare_zps8b4d2844.jpg.html)
http://i388.photobucket.com/albums/oo327/303Guy/DenversFirstHunt006_zps3d01c2cf.jpg (http://s388.photobucket.com/user/303Guy/media/DenversFirstHunt006_zps3d01c2cf.jpg.html)

This was a big moment two years ago over Christmas. This event was a turning point for my son. From here on he began to grow down the path to recovery. Looking at the photo's used to bring such joy to me. Now I grieve that that the path has been interrupted so close to it's destination. But I will hold these moments dear to me as I will this past Christmas.

(Note the same Tee shirt in my avatar - same event. The young chap is the one from my last avatar).

The tears are rolling down my face.

[Charlie Two Tracks]

If I could take some of the pain from you, I would. Please know that we are mourning also at this loss. I pray for peace for you and your family. I do indeed wish there was something else I could do.

[jumbeaux]

Sir I am so very sorry for your terrible loss...my Prayers for healing to you and your family..

rick

[Biggs300]

I pray that you will gain strength from memories. My thoughts and prayer are with you and your family. God bless.

[osteodoc08]

303

My condolences. Prayers for you and your family. Words cannot express the grief and sadness you must be feeling.

[7s&8s]

303Guy,
Our heartfelt condolences and prayers to you, your family, and Denver's friends. And to Denver, I wish you godspeed on your journey. 7s&8s

[RugerFan]

So sorry to hear this : ( Praying for your family's strength and peace.

[338RemUltraMag]

If I could take some of your pain I would in an instant, I am so sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Joshua

[Wag]

My heart is breaking for you. My deepest sympathies to you and all of your loved ones.

--Wag--

[ben lurkin]

My heart aches for you seeing your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

[303Guy]

Thank all again for your kind support.

Just an update; the family has persuaded me not to fetch Denver myself. Instead the funeral directors are bringing him up and I will go with the hearse to meet him at the airport and come back with him to the funeral parlour here. This will be tomorrow afternoon (our time).

[DeanWinchester]

I wish there was a way I could give you some strength. God knows it'll take all of yours.
We're all praying for you here brother.

[6.5 mike]

I have no words to express my sadness of your loss.

[Alstep]

I can't even imagine the devastation you must be feeling. Prayers to you and the family for strength to carry you all through this.

[R.M.]

I've typed several posts,then deleted them. My words just won't come. Remember the good times, as there seems to me many.

[MaryB]

Celebrate the life with memories and share them with family. Just did that in August with my dad.

[karlrudin]

Prayers going out for yall.

[RED333]

My prays to you and your family Bro.

[DCM]

Deepest condolences and prayers sent.

[303Guy]

Thank you all.

Today I went in the hearse to the airport to meet and bring Denver back. It was an amazing experience. When I saw the coffin I wept and so did his mother. Then I got in and turned and placed my hand on the coffin. After a short while a wave of relieve passed slowly through me. I felt at peace, almost as though I could feel Denver's presence. I am still at peace now. I have brought him home. But I will continue to grieve his loss. The Celebration of Denver's Life will be held on Friday at 3pm.

Rest in peace Denver, my son.

[koehn,jim]

Will remember you nd him in prayers

[gritsngiggles]

Just arrived back in town and read this sad news. Sending you my deepest sympathy in prayer, for you to bear, a parents worst nightmare. Be strong my friend.

[303Guy]

Thank you all for your comfort and support. Today marks the second month of Denver's passing. These have been long and hard months and the pain does not let up. I have not yet come to terms with his loss.

[JeffinNZ]

Stay strong Peter. You know how to get in touch with me if you need to.

[TheCelt]

You are never far from my thoughts and my prayers 303Guy and I am only one of many. May God grant you and your family strength and Peace.

[alamogunr]

Add one more to those praying for you and your family. I can't imagine a loss like this. Rely on God and it will get better.

We drove about an hour last night to the visitation for a friend's brother that had taken his own life. The young man was only 28 and left 3 small children. He apparently had problems in his own life but hopefully his family will only remember the good.

[gbrown]

We're thinking of you. You are in our prayers. Stay strong and may God grant you peace. Talking to others ftf or via telephone helps some. All I can say.

[DIRT Farmer]

Our prayers continue.
Alan

[Ajax]

Peter from me and mine to you and yours you have our prayers and sympathy.

Andy

[shooter2]

You never forget, but it does get easier to cope with the loss. Prayers sent.

[TXGunNut]

All I can offer is my thoughts and prayers. I don't know how to deal with a loss such as yours other than knowing that life goes on and there are good times ahead for you. I don't think many of us will ever truly understand suicide and the loss of a child is something I hate to imagine. I doubt suicide victims understand the hurt they leave behind, either. I know you have many good memories of your time with him and hope you can cherish them.

[osteodoc08]

I was thinking of you the other day. I keep you and several members in my prayers. The agony and pain of a father losing a son is unfathomable to me. May God bring you and your family peace from this tragedy. Prayers sent.

[geargnasher]

Thanks for checking in, Peter. I wish I could say something soothing to you, but what could it be? Just wishing you brighter days ahead, they will come.

Ian

[Thumbcocker]

Em would be 22 years old on March 21. the pain is lessening but the missing her is still very strong. Prayers for you and yours ongoing.

[303Guy]

Oh my! I'm so sorry for your loss, Thumbcocker. These things should never to any parent - or child.

The question on my mind is what can I do to help prevent it? I know my son no longer suffers his agony but I can't help thinking of others out there suffering the same pain. And other parents out there suffering the loss of their child. What can I do? How can I reach these poor souls and direct them to what help there may be available (and there is precious little help from doctors and psychiatrists - no fault of their own).

Ian, your explanation of what he suffered helped me a great deal because it helped me understand what he was going through.

It has occurred to me that Vincent van Gough suffered the same if not worse pain that my son experienced. He too had Asperger's Syndrome. So did Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, Isaac Newton and a host of others. But van Gough is an example of one who suffered greatly for it and helps those who cannot grasp what it can be like, to understand. The poor man cut off his own ears! He then later took his life! Tesla had Asperger's too and he is the man who brought us the radio and AC electric power (Marconi used Tesla's patent when he first set up his radio system). There are lots of us among you.

[Thumbcocker]

The web site Wrong Planet has lots of articles and resources. I tried to get Em to check it out but she seemed to feel that she could beat Aspbergers if she just threw herself at it hard enough. Every teacher or person who worked with her talked about how hard she worked. She just didn't want to be different.

[303Guy]

Today marks the second anniversary of Denver's death. The grief has lessened now and finding old photo's of him as a happy young kid bring back memories but also remind me of how things went wrong for him.

Here is a photo I found of me and my two boys. Denver is the one in the middle. That was in happy times before his troubles began.

http://i388.photobucket.com/albums/oo327/303Guy/SCAN0010_zpslbnrog85.jpg (http://s388.photobucket.com/user/303Guy/media/SCAN0010_zpslbnrog85.jpg.html)

[5Shot]

Sorry for your loss.

[Thumbcocker]

He will always be with you one way or another.

[geargnasher]

Best wishes as always. Good to hear you're getting along.

Ian

[big bore 99]

Prayers for peace.

[Smoke4320]

A pray that you find peace in his absence.. Always try to remember the good times ...