I'm in trouble.

[Hickory]

You know how women are . . . Now that I think about it, that is a dumb statement, and it's probably why I'm in trouble. No one knows how women are!!!

The reason I'm in the dog house is a week or so age I asked the wife what she wanted for Christmas. And instantly I got the evil eye and she says, "l've been dropping hints all year."

So, now I'm in hot water for not paying attention to every single word she has uttered in my presence over the last 10-11 months. And so far no hints have been forthcoming because she has clammed up. Sometime I think women just love to punish men for just being a man.

I have thought I'd get her nothing, but realized the consequences would more than I could bare for the rest of my life. Getting her things "I" think she would like is no good, I tried that once. I think I'll go the gift card route, what's the worst that could happen?
How did I get into mess like this and at Christmas.

[Three-Fifty-Seven]

e are!

[Chihuahua Floyd]

My wife has asked me for a list of things I would like for years now. Just no guns, tools or car parts. (what else is there other than books)
I also ask my wife for a list. Usually get "Ask the girls, they know."
You, on the other hand, are doomed while I am just in deep poo.
Actually, a pair of boots came in the mail and she thanked me for letting her order them. She had never said a word to me, but I am off the hook except for a couple of little things to put in her stocking.
CF

[garym1a2]

You can't win!

[timbuck]

What happened to me was that I got that same you dont pay attention. So if she started talking in my presence and I didn't catch it , I asked her to repeat it. "I wasnt talking to you" was what I got. That didn't last too long.

[jonp]

My default is a new gun. This year is a Taurus Judge. I usualy say something like " I was going to get you one of the things you pointed out this year but thought you would like this more"
Its worked so far

[Love Life]

She must want a new 1911.

[merlin101]

You know how women are . . . Now that I think about it, that is a dumb statement, and it's probably why I'm in trouble. No one knows how women are!!!

The reason I'm in the dog house is a week or so age I asked the wife what she wanted for Christmas. And instantly I got the evil eye and she says, "l've been dropping hints all year."

So, now I'm in hot water for not paying attention to every single word she has uttered in my presence over the last 10-11 months. And so far no hints have been forthcoming because she has clammed up. Sometime I think women just love to punish men for just being a man.

I have thought I'd get her nothing, but realized the consequences would more than I could bare for the rest of my life. Getting her things "I" think she would like is no good, I tried that once. I think I'll go the gift card route, what's the worst that could happen?
How did I get into mess like this and at Christmas.

Thats nothing!!!
Last week my wife called me saying her car quit and won't start. (Now keep in mind I'm a trucker and I was 300 miles away) I replied what do I look like? A freakin fairy with a magic wand? She just didn't see the humor in it.

[oscarflytyer]

I finally quit playing the game. Told he I wanted to get her nice things she WANTED! Told her to simply write down a list.

So other day, she says she had written things down, but no clue where the list was and really couldn't remember! RUKM?!? So she finally DID write down another list, but it is also kinda generic. Bottom line - you can't win! And then, she gets all ticked when the boys and I basically go Christmas shopping together to pick out gifts - either brick and mortar or online. She wants everyone to be surprised. I have 5 boys, so she is going to loose this battle. We just say we will wrap up all the things we buy and act surprised when we unwrap them!

And then she goes out and buys a bunch of camo hunting coveralls for the boys, and then feels sorry for them that they are going hunting and my freeze to death. So she gives them their Christmas coveralls early!

Noticing a trend here?!? "No one knows how women are!!!" You hit the nail on the head!

[oscarflytyer]

Thats nothing!!!
Last week my wife called me saying her car quit and won't start. (Now keep in mind I'm a trucker and I was 300 miles away) I replied what do I look like? A freakin fairy with a magic wand? She just didn't see the humor in it.

There is absolutely NOTHING in the WORLD that pisses me off more than THAT call! And the fact that the tone is that is ALL MY FAULT HER car won't run!

[Hickory]

She must want a new 1911.
Why? To use it on me?

[popper]

I'm thinking a lump of coal this year. Friends were over a couple months ago, we (she) got to talking flat screens(they have a big one), got to discussing where we could put one. Now the wife says we're going to get one for Christmas cause I want one. You can't win!!! Told me this morning the mail box is frozen shut. So what? Don't even know if they will deliver anytime today but dutifully went out and unfroze it. With a rubber mallet.
89711

[jsheyn]

I played the "oh i'm sorry game" for a couple years. Now she tells me exactly what she wants. we are so much happier now.

[Jim Flinchbaugh]

Why cant women understand that the fact that they never stop squawking is why we tune them out?
They don't have a lot to say, but they are always talking.
No wonder I dont have one :)

[AlaskanGuy]

If i were you, i would just go to Jared and get her something very very shiney.... When life deals you lemons, learn to make lemonaide.... Ladys love the shineys. With the right tool, you can turn defeat into victory.... Just choose your next words carefully on christmas morning, so they wont be your last..... LMAO....

[DeanWinchester]

I don't do Christmas presents. Or birthdays and for D sure don't do valenpukes day.

It was rough first couple of years but she gets it now. If you want something, GO BUY IT! Don't put me on a witch trial because I'm a stupid man. I love ya, I work everyday, take care of you. I don't run around on you, I'd fight, kill and gladly die for you. What the hell else you want from me?
We've been married going on 12 years. Been together about 15 and we've known each other since second grade.

She hardly even brings it up any more.

[Hickory]

Well, I've said it before and I'll say it again, "Marriage is the collision of opposites, that results in a fine and pleasant misery. Enjoy the fine and pleasant, endure the misery."

[smokeywolf]

Sure glad I don't have your problem. Mrs. smokeywolf looks and most of the time acts like a woman, except she's logical like a man. She has said many times that one her favorite gifts that she's received from me was a new fishing rod and reel that she used just a few weeks later to land an 18+ lb. striped bass. She's always said that flowers and jewelry are a waste. She'd rather have electronics, books, cooking related hardware, firearms or fishing supplies.

I count my blessings every day.

smokeywolf

[mold maker]

After 49+ years, we are always surprised at what we got each other. It's always the right color, and size, but the price is never mentioned.
Last year she loved my rifle, and I was fond of her new transmission.

[starmac]

You aren't in trouble (yet). Just don't get her anything, and at least you will find out what "in trouble", really means. lol

[cbrick]

Hhmmm . . . Wife? Seems I've heard of those before, trying to remember. Well, from the sounds of this thread it must be a good thing I don't have one of those wife things. I think I used to have one many, many years ago. Oh, now I remember, yeah, I got a gun for here. It was all rusted up, broken & didn't fire but it was still the best trade I ever made.

Rick

[bayjoe]

AlaskanGuy has the solution in my opinion.
All is forgiven when they see shiney expensive diamonds

[Love Life]

Why? To use it on me?

So you can take her shooting, and she can use it. When you're not using it of course!

I'm just trying to help. Ooooh!!! Get her a pro-melt!!

[oscarflytyer]

AlaskanGuy has the solution in my opinion.
All is forgiven when they see shiney expensive diamonds

Nope. Wife would be aggravated at best. I can't get her jewelry. She really doesn't wear it. Would be a basic waste of money and sit in a drawer... A diamond would not excite her at all. Commercial last night, colored diamonds - the really nice expensive ones - pink, straw, etc. I think they are very unique and cool. She turned her nose up at them and said "Don't like them!" Emeralds ARE the exception, however!

[MT Gianni]

Let her know that you are a guy. If it wasn't written down it didn't happen. At least tell her to send you an email so both of you have a copy of it.

[Love Life]

Let her know that you are a guy. If it wasn't written down it didn't happen. At least tell her to send you an email so both of you have a copy of it.

The gospel!!

[Hickory]

I think things started on the decline in August when I accidentally allowed her sapphire earrings to go down the kitchen drain.

Post #23
http://castboolits.gunloads.com/showthread.php?211991-Mexican-Feast!/page2&highlight=sapphire+earrings

[frkelly74]

A Puppy!!!!

[RogerDat]

At about the time I ran out of different gem stones, earrings one holiday, necklace on birthday etc. was getting down to weird stones. And after she managed to hide a Lincoln welder from me (never mind getting it into the house) we were running out of "things" to get each other. Found we tended to over purchase for the other to avoid getting them a disappointing model or version of the thing we bought so.... we do a stocking with some goodies or something fun in it for Christmas morning. Maybe a CD or some small item that the other will enjoy. Did I mention goodies?

The money we would have spent on giving each other gifts we just take out of the bank and are all ready to hit the day after Christmas sales! She gets great deals on exactly what she wants, I do the same, we have lunch together. It's all good. Can't go wrong taking your DW out on a date to go shopping.

[Love Life]

Can't go wrong taking your DW out on a date to go shopping.

Also the gospel. I still take my wife on dates. We hit our 8 year anniversary December 28th. We have been together for 11 years (Higschool sweetheart and all that jazz).

I also think a puppy is a great idea. a rottweiler would be perfect.

[iomskp]

I just bought my wife a new Remington SPS 300 blackout and she has save up all year and got me a new embroidering sewing machine,everybody is happy.

[grumman581]

Let her know that you are a guy. If it wasn't written down it didn't happen. At least tell her to send you an email so both of you have a copy of it.

"Hmmm... I didn't receive that email... It must have got caught in the spam filter..."

[bikerbeans]

Why? To use it on me?

Hickory,

You are safe from the 45ACP, I don't think she would want you to die that quickly.;)


BB

[MrWolf]

My daughter told me one gift to get my wife, so I did. Also heard her make a comment about a cheap coat that she has and wishes she could find another like it. I got that too but it wasn't as cheap as she made it out to be. Think I am ok after 23 yrs of marriage. One thing I did learn was no appliances and never believe them when they say you don't have to get me anything, we don't have the money. :2_high5:

[grumman581]

And a vacuum cleaner is not the answer. :)

[Geppetto]

Over thanksgiving while out in the hunting cabin, my wife said "instead of buying presents for each other, can we go to McMiller to shoot the .260 at 300 yrds? and as long as we are there way can go shoot sporting clays"....twist my arm....:Fire:

[Col4570]

Although I have repaired her Boots and given her bus fare she still sticks to me.I wonder if some black powder solvent would be a good gift to help her when she cleans my Guns when I get home from a hard day at the range and she has been enjoying her day cooking my lunch.In my dreams.

[Echo]

Give her a BIG bottle of flavored lube, and tell her you were thinking of her!

[badgerblaster]

Hickory, I read your post and thought it was funny as hell. Then I realized, I'm in exactly the same place. Now it's not so funny.
drat
You'd think after 27 years of doing this a guy would learn.

[starmac]

Maybe you guys can help. My wife went to the bank the other day and handed me a few hundred cash. While handing it too me she mumbled something about, THIS isn't gun money. Do you guys have a clue what that means???

[Three-Fifty-Seven]

Maybe you guys can help. My wife went to the bank the other day and handed me a few hundred cash. While handing it too me she mumbled something about, THIS isn't gun money. Do you guys have a clue what that means???

pole?

[rockrat]

It means you are in trouble!!!

Got the "Look" too, many times when I ask about Christmas and she replies that she has been telling me all year what she wants. Course, she did write down a list one year and I lost it!!!

[bikerbeans]

Maybe you guys can help. My wife went to the bank the other day and handed me a few hundred cash. While handing it too me she mumbled something about, THIS isn't gun money. Do you guys have a clue what that means???

She wants you to use the money for a down payment on a new snow sled.

BB

[starmac]

She wants you to use the money for a down payment on a new snow sled.

BB

LOL She isn't worried about that one, she didn't give me that much and knows I won't make payments on something like that. lol

[freebullet]

Lol, that means its for powder & primers...duh

[TES]

get her a mega phone and tell her to speak into it when she expects you to listen...you will have a list by next christmas and she will reaaaally like it!

[starmac]

Lol, that means its for powder & primers...duh

LOL she knows I buy my limit, and even get her to get her limit too any TIME they are available. lol She must have meant something else. lol

[AK Caster]

When my wife opens her Christmas presents I am as surprised as she is:)

[MtGun44]

All joking aside, I would reply by saying something like, "Well, I must not have been paying attention, I'm very sorry about that. I'd really like to get
you something that you would enjoy, so please help me here."

If she jumps down your throat at that, you might start planning to contact a good lawyer.

Bill

[Zymurgy50]

I, for one, do not have your problem. Been so broke at Christmas time for the last few years that the wife and I havent got each other anything for a while now. Just make sure the kids have something and count our blessings.

[David2011]

Hickory,

This is SWMBO's answer to your delimma.

Howdy boys (and ladies), I don't think it's necessarily the gift but that you put some thought into the purchase (and save the receipt just in case) that means the most to women. If you happened to pay attention when she pointed out something while out shopping, in conversation with friends, on TV or in a magazine, you're lucky and should be able to buy the perfect Christmas gift (but still save the receipt).

A good friend gave her husband several catalogs with items circled because he needed training for her taste in actual usable and wearable items (he apparently never noticed what she wore in the way of clothing or jewelry and she hated saying she liked something when she really didn't). So profess your lack of gift giving skill, apologize and tell her to give you 5 choices and you'll pick 2 or 3 to buy (don't tell her which ones you bought) until you get the hang of it. And work on it over the next 5 years. After that if you haven't made great shopping strides then you deserve whatever misery you get. --Anita

David says: Hickory, I'm another of those who is bad at detecting hints but deal with directness well. You have my sympathy!

David and Anita

[Firebricker]

Gift card or cash = pain and suffering ! Most definitely charm her to get the information. FB

[Hickory]

Actually I have a really good wife.
She just has an ornery streak in her. She just changed the
rules of Christmas shopping without telling me.

I've been married to her for 38 years and like most women
she's just gets a little cantankerous and likes to act up now and again.

I'm sure she'll come around as soon as she cools off a bit.

I'll say this, I have learned one thing about women over the years, and that is you don't want to ignore them. They require a little petting and playing to keep them happy. Kinda like a puppy.

She'll be alright after I get out of the hospital tomorrow.
Getting a heart cath done tomorrow morning.

[freebullet]

Hickory good luck, hope everything goes well for you.

Starmac I'm guna stick to my original statement. My wife knows to include those when I get "direction", if not mentioned its a clear indication that powder & primers are a go. Or maybe mine's catching on, I'm just glad she loves to shoot so much, er id be in trouble too.

As to the op, you just need to write her a poem, yeah that will smooth things over good. Here I will get you started-

My wife,
my dear,
I have a fear,
If you don't tell me what you want for Christmas I'm buying you beer.
Then you can be angry all year
While I drink it.

If you need more help, let me know.

[Love Life]

Get her a full barrel of Single Barrel Jack Daniels!

[btroj]

I would buck up and admit you don't have a clue.

Don't buy her a gun you you don't want to be shot with.......

[starmac]

1911's beer, whiskey, If I didn't know better, I would think you guys would laugh if ole Hickory got himself in hot water, with the Missus.

[Love Life]

We are just trying to be helpful.

[Teddy (punchie)]

I think things started on the decline in August when I accidentally allowed her sapphire earrings to go down the kitchen drain.

Post #23
http://castboolits.gunloads.com/showthread.php?211991-Mexican-Feast!/page2&highlight=sapphire+earrings

Ask at sewage plant, they have filters and screens. If you have a septic tank pumped and spread on field and have someone go over with metal detector. Long shots but never know.

[Bzcraig]

Gift buying WAS always such a hassle for the wife and I. I never knew what to get her and she always got me something I could use but not what I wanted. Finally got to the point where we always give each other money. The only leg work is the cards. Makes me real happy.

[trochilids]

When my wife opens her Christmas presents I am as surprised as she is:)

THIS... :)

I think I try to hard at Christmas. She just likes to open something from me, whereas I really want to get her something that is "amazing." It's tough to reconcile...

[robg]

ive been with my wife 30years ,she now understands i dont do hints just tell me what you want.problem solved

[runfiverun]

just drive her somewhere [expensive] for dinner and play it off like you planned it as a surprise.
then explain you blew all her christmas money on dinner and tickets to wayne newton...
the splainin why you didn't take her to wayne should take her mind off the christmas thing.

[JCH5069]

My wife has been asking me for weeks what I wanted for Christmas. I finally said, well you haven't told me anything either. She said I've been hinting for two weeks! oooppppsss. OK. I am a man. As a man, I can't pay attention to more than one thing at a time. She pushed the Harley catalog across the table and said, this has been laying here open to this page for quite a while. Suddenly had a brain freeze. She said, I would like this jacket. I said, You would look better in the leather one. She said, True but it is too much money. I got the hint.

[WILCO]

And so far no hints have been forthcoming because she has clammed up.

Get her drunk. Get your answers. Turn her over to the M.P.'s.

[Hickory]

Get her drunk. Get your answers. Turn her over to the M.P.'s.

Neither one of us drink.

[WILCO]

Neither one of us drink.

Dang!

[btroj]

just drive her somewhere [expensive] for dinner and play it off like you planned it as a surprise.
then explain you blew all her christmas money on dinner and tickets to wayne newton...
the splainin why you didn't take her to wayne should take her mind off the christmas thing.

Wayne Newton? My wife wouldn't buy that for a minute. Wayne Newton, sheesh.

[leftiye]

I finally quit playing the game. Told he I wanted to get her nice things she WANTED! Told her to simply write down a list.

So other day, she says she had written things down, but no clue where the list was and really couldn't remember! RUKM?!? So she finally DID write down another list, but it is also kinda generic. Bottom line - you can't win! And then, she gets all ticked when the boys and I basically go Christmas shopping together to pick out gifts - either brick and mortar or online. She wants everyone to be surprised. I have 5 boys, so she is going to loose this battle. We just say we will wrap up all the things we buy and act surprised when we unwrap them!

And then she goes out and buys a bunch of camo hunting coveralls for the boys, and then feels sorry for them that they are going hunting and my freeze to death. So she gives them their Christmas coveralls early!

Noticing a trend here?!? "No one knows how women are!!!" You hit the nail on the head!

Could it be because THEY don't know how they are?

[RED333]

I used to buy gifts for my wife, till the flowers, her words "I wish they were roses".
Then "do you have the receipt" for the ring I just picked for her.
Now she gets what she wants, if she goes and buys it.

[contender1]

I have to chuckle, then shake my head at the various comments made about such stuff.
Yes, men & women are different. And I'm always amazed at how many guys will complain about their wives. Not appreciating their hobbies, not understanding them, saying one thing & doing another, etc. You can read this entire post & see a lot of guys have issues with their wives. Yet, in defense of the guys, MOST will fight for them, work hard for them, love them etc.
But the one secret to a happy relationship with a spouse is actually quite simple.
Treat your wife as you'd treat a close friend. Make her your best friend.
That means you actually listen to her. (Remember your buddy swooning over that special knife at the last gun show. You know, the one you slipped back & bought for him?) Or when your wife wants something little, you go ahead & splurge a bit for it. (You know, like last weekend when you & your buddy were out trying to Christmas shop & y'all wanted lunch. He can't afford as much as you, so instead of McDonalds choke & puke, y'all went to a steak house, your treat!)
Or how about how your wife hinting a few times about wanting a nice purple & pink polkadoted funky shaped set of earrings that you think are stupid looking? (Remember your buddy who wanted that skullcap with the funny ear flaps for winter, even though y'all live in Florida?)

Guys, my point is this.
PAY ATTENTION TO HER ALL THE TIME. MAKE HER YOUR BEST FRIEND.

When my wife & I met, she was definitely a lady. She had never dressed a deer. She had a very limited (and unpleasant) knowledge of firearms. Her EX-husband had been abusive, but not as bad as some cases we've known. He'd done drugs, been a dealer, wasted money, and didn't take care of her. His idea of Christmas shopping was to walk into the local discount store, find one of the first displays of stuff, (punch bowl sets, make-up kits, dinner glasses, etc,) buy as many sets as needed for any female he wanted to give presents to & was done. (Honest, he did this.)
We met over 21 years ago.
Her birthday was just about a month after we started dating. I had listened to her comment about a nice heavy, quality bathrobe she wanted. I went to the exact store, & bought her the robe for her birthday. She had never had anybody give as much thought to HER as I did. I had just listened & remembered.
Well, 21 years alter, she is still very much a lady. She is a girly girl. BUT, she has helped me dress deer. She has become a NRA Firearms instructor. She has her own collection of firearms. She doesn't hassle me about hunting, or my Ruger collecting. She is one of the TOP 10 ladies in the NRA Women On Target teaching program in the country.

She is my best friend.

I buy stuff all year in preparation for her birthday, and Christmas. I am never stressed as to what to get her. I know what she likes & wants. Heck, one year, less than two weeks after Christmas, we stopped at a pawn shop. I was inquiring about a gun. She stayed in the truck. I found 3, yes 3 special gold rings I knew she'd love. (They were a hard to find specific type.) I bought all 3, and I had presents started for the upcoming year.
And she & I have an understanding. If, (God forbid) something were to happen to me, prior to a birthday or Christmas, and she were to find something special, she will know it was hers.

It's not hard,,, it's just called LOVE!

[legend 550]

Beware of the doghouse. This could be you. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyduncFpzl4
Me, I buy mine, she buys hers, everybody's happy happy.

[MrWolf]

+1000 to what contender1 said. Your wife should be your best friend. I know mine is and I am very lucky to have her.

[blackthorn]

Another +1 for Contender1's post! Gail and I operate about the same way and we have been together for 21+ years! A few years ago we decided that we had the things we needed/wanted and besides we get what we want throughout the year. So now we sit down before Christmas and decide what charity or person needs a bit of help and we give the amount we would have spent on each other. Some years we split the gift(s) up between two or more recipiants. Kids get money to buy what they want.

[gray wolf]

get her something very very shiney....
How about something dull and drab, along with a can of BRASSO
No problem here though, no money--no list--no looks--no fun--

[Finster101]

Perhaps, replacing the afore mentioned ear rings with another pair would go a long way.

[BNE]

If i were you, i would just go to Jared and get her something very very shiney.... When life deals you lemons, learn to make lemonaide.... Ladys love the shineys. With the right tool, you can turn defeat into victory.... Just choose your next words carefully on christmas morning, so they wont be your last..... LMAO....

SAGE advice. My wife says whatever it is, it can't have a cord.

[Blacksmith]

Buy her clothes, be sure the sizes are too small (NEVER to large), style and color don't matter because you kept the receipts. Buy them at local department stores that sell things beside clothes so when she returns them she can get whatever she really wanted.

I did buy my wife an electric chain saw for an anniversary present one year, but she was happy because she had been cutting the firewood with a hand saw. Generally now I shop all year and get things she mentions or that are on sale cheep and stash them until the next gift occasion, that way I always have a reserve in case I forget an occasion.

[Hickory]

Perhaps, replacing the afore mentioned ear rings with another pair would go a long way.

I'm working on the earrings.
Should have the money by March.

[geargnasher]

My wife has a strong distaste for gender games and came complete with an audio instruction manual. Life is GOOD.

Gear

[Suo Gan]

It isn't normal for a woman to view her man as a mind reader. She is an oppressor, and she has unrealistic expectations of you. You can try to laugh this off, but she can tear you down more easily than torture in a prison camp.

It is very sad. I hope that one day your wife does not want you to be a woman, but her man.

Go and feed the tigress, don't piss her off or she will probably divorce you and take more than half of what you own along with the kids. My best friend has been in a marriage like you describe for a long time, and it has just gotten worse over the years. Now that she has lost her figure, I am sure he wonders what more there really is.

She walls herself off for a week at a time if he can't read her mind about some clues she has been dropping. He just bites his tongue. He goes out and works outdoors. He says they make up and it will be fine for a while, then it is off to the races again. He said that if it wasn't for his son he would have left a long time ago. Then the next time I talk with him he tells me how great she is. I think he is trying to make the best of a bad situation. I can't blame him. It is too bad. It doesn't have to be like this at all.

I am thankful I chose wisely. I have never once, ever been asked to read my wifes mind. I don't have time for that nonsense.