For the People Down Under

[Blacksmith]

For our members and friends who live "Down Under" The Close To Home by John McPherson newspaper cartoon for today November 18, 2013 is especially for you. I don't know how to post it but here is a link (probably only good for today). Enjoy!!:bigsmyl2:

http://www.gocomics.com/closetohome/#.UopOYifGYZM

[Trey45]

http://assets.amuniversal.com/1815c0402d3401313f44001dd8b71c47?width=450

[44man]

That is funny and our friends can take jokes. Such great people down under.

[Norbrat]

I don't believe it. Somehow I doubt that any school in America teaches any geography outside of the USA.


87878


My understanding is that THIS is what is really taught in US schools! :bigsmyl2:

[btroj]

It isn't taught in school but I bet most people in the US know about that much about geography.

[DCM]

Hey we only have "58 states" we should be happy with that.

[AkMike]

87892

[Norbrat]

And yer point is........?? :D

[AkMike]

And yer point is........?? :D

That pretty well sums it up! :D ;)

[btroj]

I wasn't aware that Oz had places without venomous snakes.

[Blacksmith]

Isn't that where all the snakes went when they left Ireland?

[JeffinNZ]

˙ɯoɹɟ sɐǝpı ǝsǝɥʇ ʇǝƃ ǝןdoǝd noʎ ǝɹǝɥʍ ǝuıƃɐɯı ʇ,uɐɔ ı

[sthwestvictoria]

˙ɯoɹɟ sɐǝpı ǝsǝɥʇ ʇǝƃ ǝןdoǝd noʎ ǝɹǝɥʍ ǝuıƃɐɯı ʇ,uɐɔ ı
Absolute comedy gold jeff - Bravo!

[btroj]

˙ɯoɹɟ sɐǝpı ǝsǝɥʇ ʇǝƃ ǝןdoǝd noʎ ǝɹǝɥʍ ǝuıƃɐɯı ʇ,uɐɔ ı

Bravo Jeff.

I do find it odd that a Kiwi had to come to the defense of Oz. Hmmmmm

[eljefeoz]

These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humour.

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not .... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Australia? ( USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? ( UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is ... oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? ( UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense
rattlesnake serum.(USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay night clubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.

Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

[btroj]

I loved it! When dealing with idiots a sense of humor helps.

Do you guys have any snakes that are safe to handle? I think you cornered the market on the ones to avoid.

[Charlie Two Tracks]

Those are some great answers!

[eljefeoz]

I believe 12 of the worlds 22 most venomous snakes are ours.

Here's a link

http://www.canetoads.com.au/snakes.htm

[Isaac]

Those answers are priceless!

Isaac

[Norbrat]

Bravo Jeff.

I do find it odd that a Kiwi had to come to the defense of Oz. Hmmmmm

Nah, we're like cousins; give each other a bit of sh@t now and then, but when times are tough and we need to defend ourselves against others, stick together like sh@t on a blanket.

See Anzacs http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anzac_spirit

[JeffinNZ]

But not KISSING cousins!!!

[TheGrimReaper]

These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humour.

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not .... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Australia? ( USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? ( UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is ... oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? ( UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense
rattlesnake serum.(USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay night clubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.

Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

That was great!!! I almost pee'd myself!!!