brain tumor ?

[gunoil]

moms 86, they finally discovered she has brain tumor. At 87, what do they do? Justlet it ride, the did say she can come home tomorrow. Thanks if any of ya know.

[shdwlkr]

The brain is one thing most surgeons don't like working on there is just to much that can go wrong.
Also is the tumor growing or just there? If it is just there and not affecting life, social skills, etc. what is to be gained by operating on it?

Did they call it a brain tumor or angora yes there is a difference and it is important to know.

Lastly what is your mother's wises in this matter? She has lived a relatively long life, has seen challenges and got past them in her life.

None of us is going to get out of this life alive. My dad dies from pancreatic cancer in 4 months, Mom died from Heart disease lost them both in less than a year. They had 63 years together and I had over half a century with them. I have seen few couples that were like my parents. I have failed to be able to enjoy the same length of time with someone in my life and will most likely finish life alone.

So the first thing to do is ask your mom if she is able to talk, think, understand what her wishes are and go from there.

[mold maker]

At 92, with stage 4 lung cancer, my Moms answer was,"Something has to keep me from living forever". "I've lived long enough". She had battled Diabetes and MS for over 40 years. She passed holding our hands, at home, in her own bed.
Dad had made 87 years and finally surcome to conjestive heart desease. He also passed with all of us around his bed at home. Once he was satisfied that Mom was in good hands he said he was ready.
Knowing they're at peace, makes giving them up lots easier. They spent 64 years together here and now another 3 years together in Glory.
Next March will be 50 years together for Alice and I. I sure hope we make it.

[Pb2au]

That is a tough call to make. There is nothing simple about brain surgery, but advances in medicine have made it a more precise process.
My mother in Law who is 67 just had a tumor the size of a lemon removed from her brain. It resided directly behind her left eye and had grown to the point where it was pushing the skull forward bulging her eye forward. Thirteen hours of surgery and a half a pound of titanium replacement skull she was home three days later.
In the end, it will be her decision, depending on the severity of the tumor, location and most of all her current and projected quality of life. My late grandmother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. She looked her doctor in the eye, said no thanks to therapy/treatment and proceeded to live for another two years.
Good thoughts headed toward you and your family. Best of luck, stay strong for her!

[Dale in Louisiana]

It's tough.

I had a friend who had battled cancer for years. After about the third resurgence, he finally just said, nope, no more chemo, no more surgery, no more radiation. Let's see how comfortable I can be for the last few months. Made his peace with God, his family, and that portion of humanity as he deemed necessary, and moved on.

Sometimes the bravery is in NOT fighting.

Of course, that's easier to say when it's not my mom or dad, but they both moved on years ago. One day it's going to be my turn, and I hope I can handle it with teh grace that my friend did.

dale in Louisiana

[nicholst55]

It's really a very tough situation. A close friend came down with brain cancer - I forget the name, but it was the most aggressive type. One doctor declined to operate or essentially do ANYTHING, and told him he had a year to live. Another recommended immediate surgery, which was what they ultimately did. He lasted two years, even with radiation and surgery; he was only 45 when he passed, and had always lived a very healthy life.

My recommendation is to let your mom decide what she wants to do, and go from there.

[gunoil]

thanks guys, i'll check on what type it is. I know mom, she'll just shoot till the end and they will not operate. And really we aint here alot longer at 60, 10 years goes by like a hurricane. Thanks.

[MtGun44]

Impossible to know, from here. First issue is that it may be "inoperable" no matter who you are. If "operable"
then the issue is the risk of not recovering well due to age. Some folks are really done at 86 others could
live well for 15 years or more. VERY individualized, and related to mental capacity and overall health.

Good luck - NO easy answers.

Bill

[gunoil]

Thanks MG44, I guess were all here and understanding our belief, The doc came and said 6 months maybe. Iam a jesus freak, she is too. I'd say her estate up there if pretty nice. Mom and dad are chucklin and happy strong married in the 40's.

[MtGun44]

Good to know that when your time here is over, where you will be. This strength of
faith can be a real bedrock of support at difficult times like this.

God bless.

Bill