Female thinking, can somebody 'splain it?

[Goatwhiskers]

My daughter came over from Texas to go on a cruise with SWMBO. She does barrel racing so brought her horse to leave here. She has an older F350 that she pulls the gooseneck trailer with, left it here. My son and I happened to be looking over the rig and found she had 2 tires with cord showing, one of them on the front, 2 were slick, and the last 2 were worn down to the wear bars. What was she thinking, hot weather, bad tires, and pulling a trailer? Needless to say the truck is now wearing a full new set, probably will make her mad when I tell her what she owes. Figured I had a choice between buying tires or hiring a pshrink to find out what is going on. Actually I don't care if she ever pays me back, it beats going to a funeral. GW

Oh, forgot to mention the right rear only had three lug nuts left and one of them was half-way off.

[WILCO]

Don't have an answer for you. All you can do is teach them over and over. Maybe it'll take and maybe it won't.

[Case Stuffer]

Way to many drivers have the mind set that the only cost of driving is fuel. My son is 33 and I have been telling him for yeares that the cost per mile includes,gas,tires,aligments,oil changes tune ups and depreciation. He also needs a new set of tires and most likely it will be me who pays for them.

[km101]

The thinking of most all the women I know is that taking care of anything automotive is the man's job. They just get in it and go. Not the way they were raised, but the way they have come to think.

Maybe it's environment, maybe it's in the water. I don't know, but I haven't been able to change them. I just do the maintenance.

[DCP]

Well you realize that you will most likely be paying for her tires.


Its are job as parents to make sure that your children can survive in this world with out us,

Sometimes you cant be there friend you have to be there parent

For me I try to talk them out of swimming in the deep end with out a life jacket
If they insist. I be happy to hand them rocks until the almost drown.

[NSP64]

Female- get in drive. If it starts it's good.

[btroj]

Sounds like someone has some more parenting to do......

Give her hell, she needs it. I would explain that whole funeral part. Maybe explain that the horse would be killed to, that might mean more to a young one....

[Bloodman14]

Don't feel bad; I have several female family members that figure if the car starts, everything is working. Oh, the horror stories I could tell.

[Three44s]

That "red oil light"?

.......... that means to have someone check it!!!


Three 44s

[scottiemom]

I understand it totally. Unfortunately as much as my Dad tried to beat in my head about things like oil changes and tires, when I was younger, it just never registered. much as I hate to admit it now, I went 5 years without an oil change. I thought the oil just stayed in wherever it was and recirculated itself. my dad about had a stroke when he found out. several times I went in for an oil change only to have the mechanic shake his head in wonder and make me sign a release because there was virtually no oil at all in the car.
I am much better now- change it every 4 months whether it needs it or not!

[montana_charlie]

If she neglects her truck that badly, I wonder what kind of shape her trailer is in ...

CM

[RoyEllis]

Well, I was accused of being hateful, unreasonable and several unprintable adjectives but I insisted all my girls take 3 semesters of auto mechanics with no less than 91% grade avg before they could get their driver's license. 2 still do their own maintenance.

[Bullfrog]

Scottie Mom,

4 months is too soon with todays modern blend oils. I would push it to 6 months, UNLESS, you live on dirt roads, then 4 would be about right.

My kid breaks things and waits till she is stranded and calls me. My other one ran the car outta oil and said he never heard the push rod go through the block. I found out why and it was when I went to get the car towed I sat in it and turned it on. My ears still ring from the radio. Needless to say the car had an oil "blood trail" that stretched a city block.

Sigh

[jcwit]

How old is this daughter of yours? If 21 or older its time she learned to stand on her own two feet, got money to travel, she's got money for tires, its all a priority issue.

[Goatwhiskers]

What really irks me is that altho not married yet, she is a BSRN with a great job and about a year to go to be a nurse/practitioner. It's about a 7hr drive from home to her house and Pop can't just run over to do the required maintenance. I will say she does keep up with the oil changes, truck and car both. If I can just get her to trade both in on a new truck, at least warranty covers a lot of things. I like old trucks myself, but I can do most of my own work. Sigh. GW

[popper]

Men and parents are unpaid servants. Says so in the law books.

[GLL]

Her "plan" worked perfectly ! :) :)
She now has a complete set of new tires on dad's dime !

Jerry

[crabo]

"Female thinking, can somebody 'splain it?"

No

[jcwit]

It's about a 7hr drive from home to her house and Pop can't just run over to do the required maintenance. I will say she does keep up with the oil changes, truck and car both.

Nor should you be expected to.

Looks to me like just another way for her to be part of the entitlement generation, just not on the governments dime. Sounds harsh I know, but its my feeling kids/children need to grow up and be on their own.

[MtGun44]

As long as there are no cosequences, because you keep doing it, there will be no
change. Hope she wears her seatbelt. You are right about telling her sheis risking killing
or crippling the HORSE. Might help.

Bill

[mroliver77]

As long as somebody keeps bailing them out, they will never stand on their own feet! Harsh but true!
J

[wv109323]

Female thinking, Can someone "splain: it? No, You will drive yourself batty.
I have come to the conclusion that there are three things that you can not teach a woman : logic reasoning,how to wash a car, how to drive and how to mow grass. Yeah ,I know that is four but my wife has trained me that I can change my mind without a reason.

[Superfly]

Women Some have no friggin clue. They have it or they don't. Thanks god my wife gets her car oil changed and tires done As i may have chewed her **** a few times.

[10-x]

A guy is walking on the beach one day, sees the top of an old bottle sticking out of the sand. He picks it up and rubs the sand off, a genie pops out and says,"You get 1 wish, what is it?" The guy thinks a minute and says,"I want a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive there, I'm afraid to fly"........the genie thinks a minute and says,"Look, that's way to big of a wish for me, I'm a small time genie I don't have that kind of power".........Make another wish....the guy thinks a while and says,"I want to understand how women think".....genie says.............."do you want a 2 lane or 4 lane bridge?"............:D

[Love Life]

I agree that she does need to take care of herself (vehicle maintenance) until she is married and then the man can take care of things like that.

My Grandfather either did or scheduled all vehicle maintenance for my Grandmother. He kept track of the mileage for service, new tires, etc. He took it as his duty to ensure his wife's car was ready for the road at all times. He said it is what a man does.

My Dad is the same way with my mother. He takes it as his duty to ensure all of the vehicles are road worthy at all times.

I do the same for my wife, and will do the same for my little girl until she moves out and is on her own. Men take care of things like that...

[Blacksmith]

You should have waited until she came back then told her you would not let her reload her horse until she took care of the maintenance issues because it would be cruelty to animals to let a horse in that tow rig. The horse probably means more to her than her own life.

[JeffinNZ]

I bet the horse gets looked after just fine though.

If you pay for the tyres and have the rig made roadworthy you keep her safe but teach her zip. I'd take her keys until she acknowledges the problem and agress to fix it.

[dakotashooter2]

Beats the cost of having a service truck come out some place in the boonies when 2 tires blow............

[phonejack]

I've done that very thing. Didn't ask for repayment, didn't expect it. She may be grown but I'm still her daddy .

[jcwit]

I'm still my 2 daughters Daddy also. But both of mine can take care of themselves. I might, yes MIGHT load them money if needed once, if not paid back, never ever again. Sounds hard maybe, but then life at times is hard.

[Hickory]

This may sound harsh to some, cruel and insensitive to others, BUT, I raised my kids with the bird mentality.
I love them, protect them, care for them, teach them, defend them, show them right from wrong, and when they are of age, out the door they went. I pushed them out of the nest.

They are on their own, making their own way, without any input from the "ol' man" I'll give them advice, if asked, but only when I'm asked.

I raised them to be like myself, sovereign individuals.

[MT Gianni]

If she neglects her truck that badly, I wonder what kind of shape her trailer is in ...

CM

I would repack the wheel bearings and add that to the "bill".

[grumman581]

Female- get in drive. If it starts it's good.

And if it doesn't, somehow it is *our* fault no matter how many years it's been since they moved out...

[grumman581]

"Female thinking, can somebody 'splain it?"

No

We are genetically predisposed to not be able to understand the female mind. Their brains just think *differently*.

[starbits]

I always thought my job as a Dad wasn't to keep my kids from being hurt, it was to keep them from being seriously hurt. This sounds like one of those seriously hurt situations. Good on you. But she still needs a talking to.

Starbits

[grumman581]

Hell, it's difficult enough to just get the women to understand that when the gas gauge point to "E", it means it... :(

Back in my poor student days, I never changed a tire as long as it held air. I didn't care if the cords were showing or not -- if it held air, I kept it on the car. Of course, as it was getting on its last legs, I always gave myself enough time when going to school so that I could change a blown tire with my spare if need be and I had that happen a few times over the years. I got pretty good at changing tires on that car on the side of the road on an unstable base with one of the old bumper type jacks.

[starmac]

Me thinks she was pretty smart. I can see it now. I need tires, sooo I'll drive it over to dads, maybe pull a few lug nuts off for good measure. lol

[longusmc]

Prior to our relationship my girlfriend would rather trade in a car that was making a funny noise than have it looked at. Her check engine light came on a few months back and she was thinking it was going to be the end of the car. Turns out a $25 O2 sensor fixed the problem and cleared the fault.

[Bad Water Bill]

My daughter came home one mourning (she worked the 11-7 shift in the boonies) and said "my car sounds funny could you look at it?

She had just driven a co worker about 35 miles into the boonies then back to our house. She always was good at helping out other folks.

Well I put the key in and tried to start it. Yes 6 cats with their tails tied. Pulled the dip stick and it looked like a brand new one.

It was about 0 outside with heavy snow falling. She had to walk over a mile to get oil and a filter. When she returned she learned how to remove the snow,jack up a car safely,crawl under and remove the drain plug (just because I said so) change the filter and install the oil. All of this in the drive way.

Yes we did get lucky and it ran till she could replace it.

Sure miss her.

For the rest of her life she did every bit of her own maintenance. If she did not know how to fix something she would only ask "how is it done. "

[uscra112]

Bill, that sounds like Bob Ruark could'a written it ! [smilie=l:

For my part, I just did a rough count of my "library", in the course of trying to figure out where to store it all. It looks like I've read something like 3000 books in my lifetime, and I still don't have clue #1.

[Bad Water Bill]

Only 3500 books in your lifetime.

I have donated more than 14% 0f that amount (500 at latest count) to the vets here in Chit Kaga land.

Back to your books slacker.:kidding:

[Sasquatch-1]

If she can afford a horse and she can afford a cruise then she can afford to pay back the money for the tires.

As others have said, Daddy's little girl knew what she was doing.

[Bulldogger]

I won't belabor the conversation about giving her a bad time when she gets home, I assume you will. But I disagree with the folks insisting you keep her keys until she pays. That is unfair, the keys are her property and you must surrender them on demand. Now those tires, those are yours, you paid for them. If it were me, I'd take them off, leave the vehicle on blocks, and tell her she can have the tires as soon as she pays for them...

I also agree with the comment a page back about Dad's job being not so much preventing kids from harming themselves, but rather keeping them from harming themselves too bad. I have been doing that since my boy learned to walk. He's gonna be tough, because he's adventurous. But he is also developing a good pain threshhold and great immune system.

Bulldogger

[pdawg_shooter]

If she neglects her truck that badly, I wonder what kind of shape her trailer is in ...

CM

Or her horse for that matter.

[country gent]

When I was working 4 months was between 12000 and 13000 miles way to long for an oil change. Used to be every 3000 miles now its recomended every 5000 miles. I made sure when teaching my 3 kids to drive they could check oil antifreeze and other fluids. How to add more of each also. When to check them. That they could change a tire. To watch not only where they were going but what was around them on sides of road other drivers animals weather. So many get in a car look only straight ahead and never see the deer coming till they hit it. I lost my wife to a car accident 13 years ago so driving safely was important to me. My midddle daughter when we taught her to change a tire we found out she had to have 4' of pipe to break lug nuts loose and tighten them. Something we would have never known otherwise. Is your daughter strong enough to get truck lugs tight so they dont loosen up? Maybe with the tire missing lugs she needs a cheater pipe also. My kids could drive operate any piece of equipment on the farm safely.

[DoubleAdobe]

Well, I was accused of being hateful, unreasonable and several unprintable adjectives but I insisted all my girls take 3 semesters of auto mechanics with no less than 91% grade avg before they could get their driver's license. 2 still do their own maintenance.

Good on you, brother. I will acknowledge that you are a brave man as well.

[DoubleAdobe]

I've done that very thing. Didn't ask for repayment, didn't expect it. She may be grown but I'm still her daddy .

You're exactly right, just the way it works in my experience. You try to teach them, but sometimes you just have to let the rest of it roll by. Very sexist of me, but it is a little different with girls. Some do get better though. Some really don't.

[DCP]

This isn't a women problem
Young men can be the same way

It actually a parenting issue
My son in-law lived at home till he was 35 (Not in my house)

[searcher4851]

I don't know the young lady in question, so I won't venture to speculate on ulterior motives. She sounds like a remarkable young lady with a lot going on in her life. It's been my experience that women are capable of taking care of things (or having them taken care of) but the checking up on things automotive is not high on their priority list. They seem to tend to think that if it's still rolling, it's still good to go. Hopefully she will be thankful for your attentiveness in taking care of the problem before it became something much worse. Sounds like she has a pretty good dad, too.

[jcwit]

This isn't a women problem
Young men can be the same way

It actually a parenting issue
My son in-law lived at home till he was 35 (Not in my house)

I lived at home with my parents till they passed when I was 35. Dad was in his later 50's when I was born and mom was in her later 40's.

HOWEVER, when I graduated from High School all household expenses were divided by 1/3rd. I paid 1/3 of the electric bill, water bill, property taxes, insurance, groceries, etc., etc. I also paid for my own vehicles, which consisted of Camero's, & Corvetts BTW, and took care of my own insurance, and all upkeep of same. I also paid my mother $30 a week for room & board. I also invested in the stock market and bonds and had more than a tidy sum by the time I entered the Service.

I also made a promise to my parents that they would never need to enter a home for the elderly if I had any say over it, they never did. I was the Executor of the Estate when my brothers and I settled our parents affairs.

All of the above was at my request, not by my parents request.

My father had Power of Attorney over my affairs and I had the same on both parents, worked out very well as I was on the road for months at a time.

Both parents received a minimum of $100 each for birthdays & Christmas.

I guess its all in how one is brought up.

Children need to learn how to stand on their own 2 feet without momma & papa propping them up all the time.

[Bad Water Bill]

Back in those days children were supposed to live with their parents till they married.

It provided a way of saving for your own place when the time came to get married.

My sister never married and took care of mom and dad till they both passed on.

[jcwit]

Back in those days children were supposed to live with their parents till they married.

It provided a way of saving for your own place when the time came to get married.

My sister never married and took care of mom and dad till they both passed on.

Could all be, no argument here.

One of my biggest regrets is not meeting my wife till after both parents passed, I'm positive they would have loved her, she truly is a jewel.

[DCP]

I lived at home with my parents till they passed when I was 35. Dad was in his later 50's when I was born and mom was in her later 40's.

HOWEVER, when I graduated from High School all household expenses were divided by 1/3rd. I paid 1/3 of the electric bill, water bill, property taxes, insurance, groceries, etc., etc. I also paid for my own vehicles, which consisted of Camero's, & Corvetts BTW, and took care of my own insurance, and all upkeep of same. I also paid my mother $30 a week for room & board. I also invested in the stock market and bonds and had more than a tidy sum by the time I entered the Service.

I also made a promise to my parents that they would never need to enter a home for the elderly if I had any say over it, they never did. I was the Executor of the Estate when my brothers and I settled our parents affairs.

All of the above was at my request, not by my parents request.

My father had Power of Attorney over my affairs and I had the same on both parents, worked out very well as I was on the road for months at a time.

Both parents received a minimum of $100 each for birthdays & Christmas.

I guess its all in how one is brought up.

Children need to learn how to stand on their own 2 feet without momma & papa propping them up all the time.

I stand corrected, that was a fine arrangement

He lived there free didn't pay a dime. (son in law) Didn't save any money either

Then there is my brother, the lib tree hugger, and loves Zero. My nephew just turn 32 and just got a job. I want to ask so bad

Who pays for his gas, his car, and his cigarettes, etc.

[1Shirt]

I always think that trying to explain rational to the opposite sex is kinda like squirting into the wind!
1Shirt!

[pdawg_shooter]

There are only 2 ways to argue with a woman...and neither work.

[LynC2]

That reminds me of a story about a friend's wife. She took a trip out of town on a hot Texas summer day and somewhere along the way a radiator hose blew and lost all of the water and antifreeze. Well she just kept on driving it until the engine seized. My friend asked if she didn't notice all the steam coming from under the hood when it happened. She replied "Yes, but then it stopped." OK, then didn't you hear the engine knocking later? "Yes, but I just turned the radio up so I didn't have to listen to it!" True story! :-)

Edited to add: She also happens to be a school teacher, God save us all!

[Blacksmith]

Many years ago we bought a new car and I made my wife change a tire in the driveway just so she would know where the jack was and where to put, it how it worked, etc. Some years later she had a flat on the beltway and no one would stop, she remembered enough to change the tire and get home. I also made her change the oil and filter, clean and gap a plug, adjust points, etc. just so she would have a basic idea of how things worked and be less likely to be taken by a crooked mechanic. She now gives automotive advice to her sister and girl friends although she still calls the distributor the "Milking Machine".

[BD]

Short answer is, "NO".
BD

[SeabeeMan]

My wife does the turn the radio up thing...I make it a point to drive her vehicle at least every other week just to keep tabs on stuff. Oil changes take an hour by the time I check everything over on it.

[OnceFired]

When I was dating my wife, she had an old Dodge Colt ********* 7000. This thing had been through hell - including frequent keyings by the little demons in the middle schools she taught at. Broken mirrors, lights, the works.

The worst one was when I went to check the antifreeze/coolant, as her car was always running pointed to Hot according to her. I opened up the cap, and brown viscous sludge slowly oozed out. She had never changed it the entire time she owned the car.

This coming from a woman who owned a Cuda - who had specifically zeroed in on an awesome year, and knew the parts that made it special.

It just goes to show - they are thoroughly capable of paying attention to it. They simply choose not to. :)

To be fair, I stepped in doodie once really good myself. I put WAY too much oil in my 4-banger sedan at the time - probably 6 qts. It was always burning a little oil, so I gave it a bunch. Didn't much think about where it'd go at the time. Course when I started it, smoke billowed out of the tailpipe for what seemed like forever. Drained it back out & let it sit, and it went back to normal pretty fast.

That was when I went and educated myself about basic car maintenance. :) And the only car maintenance error I will ever cop to.

OnceFired

[grumman581]

My wife actually insisted on getting a new car after the bearing went out on the driveshaft of her car during a drive from Houston to San Antonio a couple of years ago. It vibrated quite a bit and she thought it was the tire, so I had to drive all to way to San Antonio to take a look at it. Even after I had it repaired, she said she just didn't trust it anymore. She traded it in on a new BMW 335d. It's a nice car, but I preferred her previous one even though it was a bit older (2004 Porsche Cayenne Turbo). Which would you rather drive, a Cayenne Turbo or a 6 year newer BMW? I will admit though that the diesel BMW gets better gas mileage and the acceleration is good, but definitely not Cayenne Turbo level. :)

[fryboy]

sometimes it takes the hard lessons for something to soak in , it be that way with male or female [shrugz]

[grumman581]

sometimes it takes the hard lessons for something to soak in , it be that way with male or female [shrugz]

We learn by negative reinforcement. Hopefully, we survive it...

Which are you more likely to remember, a meal at a restaurant that was really good or the one where you got food poisoning and were bent over the commode puking your guts out all night long? Mad memories are burnt in our brain cells and last a lot longer. Which is how it should be since *hopefully* we remember the bad things and try to avoid them in the future.

For example, I will never mix tequila and chocolate milk shake again... Even after nearly 40 years, I still remember that... :(

[mold maker]

I brought both my Daughter and Son up to be totally independent.
If they drove a vehicle they checked it over first, like an airplane. They now both have families that do the same.
Even though I have offered financial help when needed, they have always paid it back.
If I die tomorrow, it will be with me knowing, they will be OK. They have all the basic skills needed to provide for themselves.

[mold maker]

I brought both my Daughter and Son up to be totally independent.
If they drove a vehicle they checked it over first, like an airplane. They now both have families that do the same.
Even though I have offered financial help when needed, they have always paid it back.
If I die tomorrow, it will be with me knowing, they will be OK. They have all the basic skills needed to provide for themselves.

[LynC2]

We learn by negative reinforcement. Hopefully, we survive it...

Which are you more likely to remember, a meal at a restaurant that was really good or the one where you got food poisoning and were bent over the commode puking your guts out all night long? Mad memories are burnt in our brain cells and last a lot longer. Which is how it should be since *hopefully* we remember the bad things and try to avoid them in the future.

For example, I will never mix tequila and chocolate milk shake again... Even after nearly 40 years, I still remember that... :(
LOL, I can only imagine! :razz:

[castalott]

"Female thinking, can somebody 'splain it?"

No

Here is a post I put in 'Loob Grooves for sale'. Note the volume about women...

A six pack of group tightener. This is the stuff that works on you..not the gun.Not sure what proof. Old clay jugs...makes fine paint remover...free to good home

2 boxes of insight. One is political and the other is social.$10

3 drops of foresight and 55 gallons of hindsight. $10 each!

A small box of alerts. These are Soviet military surplus from the cold war. Most are yellow but a few are red. The red alerts cost millions of rubles to make but I can let these go for $5 each. Or trade for some inherent accuracy or some Kentucky windage and elevation.

20 volume set of understanding women. 10,000 pages with pictures and illustrations. This set is dedicated to redheads. It's harder than Chinese algebra. It didn't help me a bit....$3

1 gallon of uniformity. There is an inch of sludge in the bottom and a crusty surface but I think it's still ok...Good to wipe that accurate rifle down with. $4

A case of the heebie jeebies. A few drops in a sprayer of water works well at Halloween. I wouldn't break up a full case.....$45

A box of the jitters. This is about the only thing I saved from my shooting career. Every time I heard..." Shooters to the line...." $20

A box of unbridled curiosity. I never did open it....$2

Trade for extra ogives or ????

Does anyone understand women?

[MT Gianni]

Women understand each other and frequently cannot get along, As for us guys, Shakespeare put it best" What does a Woman want?

[Ohio Rusty]

As long as the car starts, has plenty of gas and can get the girls to the malls and to shopping ..... all is right with the world and the men have nothing to fear ... Cars aren't a womans thing ....
Ohio Rusty ><>

[375supermag]

"Female thinking, can somebody 'splain it?"

No!
Next question?

[Echo]

Someone pointed out that there two ways of explaining women's behavior - but neither works.

[Gliden07]

Unfortunately many Women (not all) have the attitude of don't fix it until its broke!! That as you and your Son surmised is Dangerous!! Men are "FIXERS" and don't get why women would let it break rather than fix it with maintenance! Just like we don't understand why your boots go there and not here!! LOL!! Don't ask why just accept it!! If you figure it out you would be the RICHEST man in the world!! LOL!!


My daughter came over from Texas to go on a cruise with SWMBO. She does barrel racing so brought her horse to leave here. She has an older F350 that she pulls the gooseneck trailer with, left it here. My son and I happened to be looking over the rig and found she had 2 tires with cord showing, one of them on the front, 2 were slick, and the last 2 were worn down to the wear bars. What was she thinking, hot weather, bad tires, and pulling a trailer? Needless to say the truck is now wearing a full new set, probably will make her mad when I tell her what she owes. Figured I had a choice between buying tires or hiring a pshrink to find out what is going on. Actually I don't care if she ever pays me back, it beats going to a funeral. GW

Oh, forgot to mention the right rear only had three lug nuts left and one of them was half-way off.