When it rains, It pours!!!

[2HighSpeed]

Well, A little update on Little Man. A few nights ago he was standing in the corner of the living room yelling at the wall "leave my mommys baby alone". (I told him when someone was picking on him thats what he should say) He started shaking and crying and just kept repeating it. So I picked him up, Swaddled him and held him S-K-I-P like they tought us in a class on how to care for him when he was in a hallucinative state. He finally relaxed after about an hour of me telling his "friends" to go away, calmed down and told me that he had a giraffe and bunny telling him all sorts of bad things. Thus far he has developed a alter ego, in the form of a girl named Sara. He is seeing Giraffes, A Bunny named Zulu, Zombies, Little people, A dog named chucky and a few monsters. So with all that, The bunny told him he needed to cut himself. Obviously all the sharp objects in our home are locked up and he says he knows mommy would be really sad if he made himself "bleeds" and he says he doesnt like it when mommy cries so he kept telling "zulu" to leave him alone. After all this I chose for his safety to take him once again to the Psych center. He is admitted on a 10 day psych hold and they are going to try some new meds tomorrow (They apparently needed the risperdal to get completely out of his system first). This is the 5th rodeo with inpaitent in 10 months. He will be 6 on Saturday and my baby wont even get to be home to celebrate. Instead I am driving to the unit 3 times a day to have breakfast, lunch and dinner with him. And still trying to maintain some form of schedule for the other 3 boys. His DR today told me about a a therapy dog we can get for him that MAY calm the anxiety when he is having the hallucinations and help with the PTSD that provoke the hallucinations. I looked into it of course. 10K for a dog! Insane!!!

I know his issues are not 100% his egg donors fault, But many of them are her fault and the hatred I am feeling for that woman right now is just consumeing every ounce of my being. I feel like she robbed my sweet baby boy of any chance at a normal life. And its making me miserable because I am not in any way a hateful person.

His MMR has been "upgraded" from Mild mental retardation to Moderate Mental Retardation. And the BiPolar has been upgraded from manic bipolar to manic bipolar with psychosis and homicidal intentions. His IQ test they did at the end of the school year he scored a 40. Hes about to start 1st grade and should be 70 or higher.

Im feeling very defeated right now! I think mental illness vs. mommy is gonna be mental illness wins. Or thats how it seems anyway. I just dont see any light at the end of the tunnel. I wish I could just wrap my sweet boy in my arms and never let him go, At least in my arms hes safe from all that ails him.

[375RUGER]

Prayers for you and yours.
Was it drugs and alcohol from the egg donor? Just curious. Our neighbor, we call her our little sister is about to adopt her niece because her bro and sil can't stay away from the meth, coke, heroine, etc.
We wanted to adopt the little girl but has to go to family. She has fetal alcohol syndrome and then the drugs that her mother took while pregnant and possible, no likely exposure since birth. She's extremely underdeveloped. She will at least have a chance at a normal life now.
Sorry, not trying to hijack.

[smokey496]

Love him as much as you can.

[bayjoe]

You're a very special individual to be the loving father you are.
You have my total respect and we will keep you in our prayers to give you the wisdom and patients to raise your son.

[2HighSpeed]

Actually, Im his mother. Step mother for now, Working on the adoption. Its just a piece of paper though.



You're a very special individual to be the loving father you are.
You have my total respect and we will keep you in our prayers to give you the wisdom and patients to raise your son.

[Don Purcell]

Know where your coming from. My nephew got hooked up with a gal that liked booze and drugs more than life and he was the type to just coast along and ended up getting her pregnant. Long story short my sister-in-law (his mother) is now raising the boy and he also has development problems because of his useless drug addled mother. It isn't any of my problem but I would not mind knocking the **** out of the boy's mother but he's better off with my SIS. Try to hang tough, I know it's hard as our son is autistic so I know whereof I speak. You have friends here.

[2HighSpeed]

Yes, She did drugs while pregnant. Cocaine, Weed and Meth. As well as a ungodly amount of other pills you should never take while pregnant like Hydrocodone and Xanax. She also drank while pregnant. She tried many times to abort him with a coathanger (I just could not imagine, OMFG). Because she wanted a girl not a boy. Apparently to her hes not worthy of her love because he has a penis and not a vagina. Her reasoning was, she already had a boy and didnt need another!


Prayers for you and yours.
Was it drugs and alcohol from the egg donor? Just curious. Our neighbor, we call her our little sister is about to adopt her niece because her bro and sil can't stay away from the meth, coke, heroine, etc.
We wanted to adopt the little girl but has to go to family. She has fetal alcohol syndrome and then the drugs that her mother took while pregnant and possible, no likely exposure since birth. She's extremely underdeveloped. She will at least have a chance at a normal life now.
Sorry, not trying to hijack.

[runfiverun]

focusing on 'mom' isn't gonna help either of you.

the Risperdal was the medication that was helping the manic disorder and controlling the auditory, and visual issues.
something like clonazepam and trazedone [sp?] might be a better combination then the Risperdal and abilify.
anyway that's something to ask about.

[2HighSpeed]

I asked them to try trazadone. I think thats what they are going to go with. They took him off abilify. They had him on Risperdal, Triliptal, Amantidine and Ritalin.
They mentioned Geodon and the Daytrana Patch also.

[Boerrancher]

My thoughts and prayers are with you. It is a shame that some children are born broken, but there is always hope. Keep the faith that things will get better, and even though he is in treatment, don't focus on him being there but on the time you still get to spend with him while he is there. We all want what is best for our children, and right now where he is at now is hopefully what is best for him. In a few days he will be back home and will need all of the attention and love you can give him. I know this from dealing with my oldest boy's problems.

Best wishes,

Joe

[bayjoe]

My sincerest apoligies for mistakingly calling you a father.
Still you are a very special person

[runfiverun]

they make a different form of risperdal that they administer in a shot but they won't use it on children.
it works very well in many cases.

the ritalin quite often is counter productive, especially with auditory issues.

[searcher4851]

You have my admiration and sympathy as well. My prayers are with you. I know how difficult it can be at times, but don't let it overwhelm you, and don't forget to take care of yourself as well.

[Wayne Smith]

Ignore the IQ testing. His psychosis was interfering with his ability to use the intelligence he has. Even ADHD does that. I refuse to administer an IQ test to a severe ADHD client until they are stabilzed on meds. The effect is that significant.

Prior to about age 12 IQ test results are comparative, not predictive. You have no idea how smart he is or isn't at this point.

Some of these issues are genetic - some are probably a result of the mon's behavior. It is probably impossible, at this point in history, to separate out ultimate causes. Deal with what is, don't worry at this point about cause.

[Freightman]

Prayers sent.

[DCP]

Andrea

Find a support group. NOW

[merlin101]

2HIGHSPEED I really hope that you have family or other close support to help you deal with this.
It takes a VERY SPECIAL person to handle a child like this and I know I'm not one of them.

[Wayne Smith]

Folks, if you haven't been following Andrea's saga so far realize she is very qualified, even if she doesn't believe it! - to handle these things. She has support, good docs, good impatient unit, and this is not new. It is simply part of an ongoing saga. Their challenge will be to set all this up when they move to Ft. Bragg.

Andrea, while I am not a child therapist I would like to remind you that, at these ages, children change almost daily. In his case, these changes complicate his treatment. What worked at one age may or may not work at another age. These changes are as much physiological as they are psychological. His body, neurology, and hormones change as he grows.

Hang in there, I am praying for you.

[2HighSpeed]

Today was a rough day on "the unit" for Nathan. They wouldn't allow him to have chocolate milk (100% no sugar diet, limited carbs, gluten free per my instructions), so he want hog wild and started cussing and swearing then defacated and wiped it all over a staff member. His "friends" told him to do it. He ended up in isolation and in restraints again. I haven't slept much in a few days, it's hard to sleep when I'm missing being able to tuck one of my babies into bed. It's a nightly ritual and I just feel restless untill I know all 4 of my boys are safe and sound in my home.
I think I'm gonna have a glass of wine. Melt some lead. And cry my eyes out. This time around his inpaitent stay has been unbelievably harder then the last. I can't really figure out why.
Tomorrow I need to look into rehabilitation centers that are not live in, around Fayetteville NC. Drs are suggesting a Monday-Sunday thing for him OR permanent residential. I'm not giving my child away to a hospital for them to raise. Just ain't gonna happen!!!

[bearcove]

Therapy dog.LOL!!

Get him a Lab or golden retriever both indestructable and patient. Mixed breed (MUTT)best. Don't get too tied up in the expert opinion. Its really just their "BEST GUESS" most times.

Hang in there, we'll be prayin for ya'll

BC

[Gibbs44]

You're in my prayers also. Hang in there.

[2HighSpeed]

We want to get him a therapy dog. I looked into it more on depth today and the cost for him
Will be around 5k because of his age. Apparently they don't charge full Price for Psychological Service Dogs for children then what they would charge for say a diabetic service dog. Plus we get a % off for being military. But still, 5k is not something we have just laying around right now and I have now clue how I would raise that much in the time it would take for them to have one ready. They require 1/2 down and the rest when your dog is ready. 6-9 months. He definitely meets and exceeds the criteria to have one, I just don't see how it's possible right now.



Therapy dog.LOL!!

Get him a Lab or golden retriever both indestructable and patient. Mixed breed (MUTT)best. Don't get too tied up in the expert opinion. Its really just their "BEST GUESS" most times.

Hang in there, we'll be prayin for ya'll

BC

[2HighSpeed]

They are called Psychiatric Service Dogs. Not psychological service dogs. Sorry.

[robertbank]

Well if you can't afford the type of dog you describe then move on. The local SPCA likely has dogs for free. I don't know of a dog breed that doesn't give back twice as much love and affections as it is given.

Take Care

Bob

[OeldeWolf]

I have thought about anything I could say. Getting help from an organization to help pay for a service dog is usually possible, especially for a child. Getting help from a volunteer group to help you raise and train one yourself is a possibility.

The worst thing I can think of, is that there are some badly damaged people, where the damage is so great, or has taken such a bad form, that they need constant professional care. :( I sincerely hope for a better outcome for your little one, you certainly have the skills and determination to do everything that can possibly be done, to give him a chance.

It took me a long time to get to where I could quit being hugely upset by the ex whom I had to pay tp abuse my children. But other than motivating me to do my best to get them back (did not happen till they became adults), all it did was tear me up inside. She is gone, out of his life. Try to stop letting her get to you. You need all your resources for other things. And all your little ones need you in good shape.

Prayer sent

[Bzcraig]

Andrea I am so sorry you are going through this. All I have to offer are prayers and this advise; please take care of yourself, if you don't you will not be able to care for your little man and may become severely depressed yourself.

[popper]

mental illness vs. mommy is gonna be mental illness wins The second causes a win for both. Your situation is not as uncommon as people think. I have several friends who have gone through your trama with their kids. One friend and his wife are my age and have been adopting terminal infants for years, have several at a time. One survived to 12 or 13. I asked how they could do it. 'provide what they can in physical help and enough love to cover the rest'. These are infants like I saw in the NIQU when my 2 day old GS was having open heart surgery(didn't think I'd make it waiting out the 9 hr surgery). Over in the corner hooked to tubes and no-one visits. Be patient, you CAN do it and you DO care.