I am officially a putz....

[x101airborne]

This is not a hunting success story. It is an epic.
Failure that is.....
When mental retardation takes over and you discover "maybe I AM a candidate for a Darwin Award". It happened to me tonight. So with much shame, here we go.
Finally after two months of not making it to the ranch, the missus and I finally had no kids this weekend and were able to make it to the cabin for some much needed R&R. Well, I met up with one of our newer members and had a wonderful time with he and his wife. The wife and I talked with them, ate crawfish and corn, listened to good music, and had a great visit. Then we came home and Murphy's law took effect.
After a couple of movies, the wife fell asleep and I decided to go out on a walkabout for hogs. Being the gentleman yall know I am (go ahead, clear your throat), I left the lights off and grabbed my night vision rifle and headed out. The night vision was working well, but no hogs. I looked and looked and found none. So, I headed back up the hill to the cabin to go to sleep.
Within about 20 yards of the cabin, I came upon 8 little black future problems. ALL RIGHT!!!! Safety off, aim, squeeze, CLICK! Dang, must be a dud... Cycle the bolt on the AR and I notice it closes awfully easy. Go to slap the mag home again and guess what???? There is no mag in the weapon!!! So I walk the last 20 yards to the cabin, get a mag, run it home, return to the yard where the pigs were, and they were still there! Get steady, slowly squeeze, and the rifle double taps on the recoil. The first shot hit home, but the last went wild some where. I shot at the rest while running to no avail.
I just called it a night and am sitting here stewing.
Not much else I can do darned it all.

[leftiye]

Could have missed them all?

[Fishman]

If that's an epic failure, I don't know what adjective you would apply to some of my hunts . . .

[pls1911]

We know we're among friends when we share our own fopahs....
Like the time I was pheasant hunting, crossing a barbwire fence when a rooster flushed fron underfoot... had to get help disengaging personal parts and barbwire....
and one we've all had:
While answering an urgent call of nature and in full squat, only to notice the biggest buck/turkey/pig/etc. in the county staring at you through the brush while your rifle is safed and out of reach.
Or of course, getting miles from home, setting up for opening dove hunt, only to find you grabbed the wife's 20 gauge and only have 12 gauge shells.... or no plug....or the wrong vest/no license.... or no TP... or no coffee... or no mosquito repellant..

If we're blessed with ability to hunt enough seasons, there's always another opportunity to create humor, though at the moment it may not seem humorous.
Thanks for keeping us all honest, and amused at ourselves.

[Stephen Cohen]

Don't feel bad I had a MINOR friend spend a fortune to go to Africa for the hunt of a life time, both he and his son took bolts for their 22/250s and not the 375s. I guess its true, the apple don't fall fare from the tree.

[reloader28]

Someone has to say it. Theres no beating around the bush.
"Thats pretty stupid".:kidding:

[x101airborne]

Someone has to say it. Theres no beating around the bush.
"Thats pretty stupid".:kidding:

I completely agree. I felt like Homer Simpson for about two hours afterward. "DOOHT!"
And yall know I am telling the truth..... Rednecks just cant make this stuff up.
Like I need training wheels and corner bumpers put on everything. And a locking safety strap on the fridge to keep me from crawling in and closing the door.
Geese I felt like a football bat.

[shredder]

Happens to the best of us.

[300savage]

I would have traded places with you in a heartbeat. That slight stomach issue I was feeling when we left turned into one of the worst nights I can remember. Doing better today,just feel like someone has been breaking sticks over my back. Sorry to hear about yer mental lapse, they say that's one of the first things that go.. someone will be wipin yer chin fore to long.

[x101airborne]

HeHeHe..... Yeah, nothing came to the feeder last night, so you didn't miss much. Lots of deer and a coon, but that's about it.

Hate to hear you had a bad night. Glad you are feeling better. Really enjoyed the party last night. Great making new friends.

[nekshot]

At least you could do something about it, not like the time I was standing there with a 270 rifle and 30-06 ammo and it was getting starting to get daylight.

[Bzcraig]

I completely agree. I felt like Homer Simpson for about two hours afterward. "DOOHT!"
And yall know I am telling the truth..... Rednecks just cant make this stuff up.
Like I need training wheels and corner bumpers put on everything. And a locking safety strap on the fridge to keep me from crawling in and closing the door.
Geese I felt like a football bat.

Airborne....thanks for sharing, as mentioned we all do some pretty..........well, less than inspired stuff. But if we can't laugh at ourselves, our sense of humor needs an adjustment. At least one little piggy was dealt with.

[john hayslip]

hey, at least you had fresh bacon for breakfast.

[TXGunNut]

Sounds like more fun than sitting around my place listening to the wind trying to blow it down. Look at the bright side, one less piggie and in a few days the vultures may let you know that one or more of your "misses" actually connected. I don't do well on running followup shots and a double would definitely slow down my recovery time. I probably would have held but you're more practiced with that situation than I. Nice night for a walk, anyway.

[starmac]

I wonder why there is always 4 different calibers of ammo in the console in my pickup. Back a few years back I wound up in a one sided gun fight, but was driving the wrong pickup. groan.

[swheeler]

Life goes on, for seven little piglets anyways.

[TXGunNut]

I wonder why there is always 4 different calibers of ammo in the console in my pickup. Back a few years back I wound up in a one sided gun fight, but was driving the wrong pickup. groan.

If Trey had been in his pickup it would have been a different story. On the off chance that the correct ammo wasn't available he would have simply run over as many as he could. :wink:

[Haggway]

You had crawfish, before all this happened. Can't be all bad. I am glad to know I am not the only one that does this kind of stuff.

[TXGunNut]

My front yard crawfish census is down a bit this year, never had enough for a good boil anyway. This time of year they come up like fire ant mounds.

[x101airborne]

If Trey had been in his pickup it would have been a different story. On the off chance that the correct ammo wasn't available he would have simply run over as many as he could. :wink:

Oh, no. We were in the new pickup last night since I took my Lady out for a time. Now had it been the Deerslayer, the last you would have seen of me is my taillights disappearing into the mesquite thicket about two feet off the ground and me doing the Dukes of Hazzard yell. But then, if I were in my Deerslayer, I think there is about 400 pounds of ammo in there and 6 or 8 different weapons. SOMETHING would have worked.

[Smoke4320]

its happened to almost all of us.. At least you got one of them

[300savage]

Hey my friend I have a question . I truly appreciate the bullets you gave me and can't wait to see what they do on a big smelly hog. My question though is there anything else I need to do to them before I load them?

[Bulldogger]

101, I envy those problems. I haven't managed anything in a long time. It's getting to where I can hardly tell the weather standing on my porch, too much time in the city.
We each have our problems. I wouldn't mind having some of yours.
Thanks for sharing, I honestly wish I was walking along side you, laughing, crying and shaking my head the whole way home.
I treasure your stories, and often wish I was there. I can imagine day to day, one doesn't see the truth for what it is, lost in the hard work. I sure wish I could trade you for a little while.

You'll get them next time. And you'll post lots of pictures!

Bulldogger

[x101airborne]

Bulldogger, every time I am out there, all of you are with me. Ups and downs, laugh and cry, success and failure. I just like to admit that I am fallable like everyone else. I get lots of pats on the back for doing well and for all the hogs I get, but I don't always GET em. There was a thread a while back where everyone posted their blunders and that was some of the most entertaining reading I have had in a while. I wish there was a sticky on THAT!
Thanks for the thoughts.

[HABCAN]

Yuh ever crawled a couple hundred yards through mosquitos over sharp stubble, sneaking up on a huge 'trophy' groundhog with your little .22, eased the SCOPE over the rail fence bar............and shot a neat groove in the rail?? BTDT.
HABCAN.

[popper]

308 doesn't chamber in a 30/30 nor does it unload easy. Doing it twice in a row is ....

[x101airborne]

Well, I have waited in the sun for a shot at a crow over a CRP field in a ghillie suit. When he landed, I shot the electric fence wire 3 feet in front of my rifle.

My Dad was shredding a field during deer season when he jumped a buck in the middle of a field. The deer ran about 40 yards and looked at him. Knowing you don't fire a semi auto rifle from the cab of a tractor, he got out and used the tractor as a rest. Three shots and the deer stood there. Dad went around the tractor for a better angle and dropped the buck. While skinning the buck out from the front end loader, he noticed three holes punched through the bucket from his rifle. We had it mounted and call it the "John Deer Buck".

I have laid my 308 across my old ford hood to shoot a yote and creased my hood for about 5 inches with the bullet.

I have tried to use 30-06 ammo in my 280 Ackley. Didn't work, thank God.

I have successfully, not accurately shot 243 ammo out of a 260.

I have tried to headspace and time a M2 50 cal with a barrel not mated to that particular action when my 1st Sgt decided to cut the ID tags off the extra barrels right before deployment.

There are more, I just cant remember them right now.

[TXGunNut]

I have tried to use 30-06 ammo in my 280 Ackley. Didn't work, thank God.-x101

I happen to know .308 "works" in a .270...Twice-different rifles. Always wondered how long that bullet was when it cleared the muzzle. And no, it wasn't me! One of the many adventures of hanging out at a public range. Yes, it locks up the bolt but the rifles apparently survived.
Mama would have had a cow if you'd gone off chasing piggies in the new truck, better resist that temptation for a few more weeks. :wink:

[starmac]

I had an uncle total a not quite one day old chevy pickup chasing a yote. lol

[NLS1]

Bought a new 22 mag with scope, and a new scope for my oldest son and his 22. Pack lunches, get all packed, drive over an hour to our favorite squirrel spot and to sight in and pop some squirrels.

Open up the cases, get ready, hey where is the ammo can with the 22 and 22mag ammo? Uh I thought you grabbed it!?

Good thing I had a couple extra guns in the truck, otherwise it would have just been a pretty drive with my son!

Or how about this one, wait all morning with the bow in the stand, no deer, you climb down and think, hey I will throw the small game broadhead arrow on. Walk around, see a squirrel, get close, stand up slow behind a brush pile, pull the bow back, and realize there are 3 deer like 15 yards away that just stood up, and you have the real broadhead arrow in the quiver now! Nice

We have all been there 101!

Dan

[Jim]

Well, if this is an AA meeting for idiots, I'm next.

I got up an extensive list of lumber for a project and drove 45 minutes to Home Depot. Walked in the door, reached in my shirt pocket for my list............. no list. Dang! Back out to the truck, searched everywhere, no list. Dang!

Back in the truck, 45 minutes back home and sat down to rewrite the list. I'll have to go back in the morning. That evening, I began unloading my pants pockets to hit the rain locker. Pulled my wallet out of my pocket...............yup. Behind my wallet. [smilie=b:

My name's Jim an' I'm an idiot. :veryconfu

[country gent]

Do to a miss count in ammo I had to shoot 2 offhand stages one year at the nationals with my 600yd load. ( Loaded long wouldnt fit in magazine of M1A. One of them had to be the day Geroge tubbs senior was scoring me to boot. But ike you I perservered and got thru it with out any really dents or dings. Just alot of good natured ribbing from guys I knew. But the second match was an all time high off hand score for me to boot. We all have brain fades its not that we have them its how we handle them.

[mnkyracer]

I'll see your bullet formed hood crease, and raise you a hole thru a screen window frame. Nesting starlings right outside the b-room window. proned out on the bed, the scope cleared, the barrel didn't.

[x101airborne]

I'll see your bullet formed hood crease, and raise you a hole thru a screen window frame. Nesting starlings right outside the b-room window. proned out on the bed, the scope cleared, the barrel didn't.


I did the same thing. Using a double tall back chair and a piece of gray camo silk screen, I was shooting crows out of my kitchen window when I was supposed to be doing dishes. (Shooting crows is more fun, anyhow.) Scope cleared, bullet didn't. Lucky enough a little tweaking with pliars had the frame back in order. Danged old 1950's window frame anyway.

[Ernest]

That is such a minor forget. In my world I wouldn't even note it much. now things you will notice is when you are on a two man 7 day back packing elk hunt and SOMEBODY left half the already very meager food supply in the truck that dropped you off and there is no chance of early pick up. With no elk and below freezing weather day 6 and 7 can get pretty hungry;-).

[TXGunNut]

I think I forgot the Scotch glasses once. A good single malt can overcome this oversight but my brother has been bringing his little stainless cups ever since.

[x101airborne]

I think I forgot the Scotch glasses once. A good single malt can overcome this oversight but my brother has been bringing his little stainless cups ever since.

LOL! I might forget the ammo, I might forget the food, but I NEVER forget my favorite drinking cup!!

[Any Cal.]

I bought some decent single malt for a trip once, and packed it in a Nalgene bladder to reduce weight. After the first shot, I set it aside and most of it leaked out through the top that wasn't fully closed... Was about enough to make you cry.

[pls1911]

Jim hit it right... maybe this is an AA meeting for idiots.
I keep returning to this stream for some good humor and self assurance that I'm not alone in goofy events.
I could easily use the material for a monthly column in any hunting publication..
I think I'd title 'em all "There we were..."

[TXGunNut]

I went hunting with a cleaning patch in the end of my chamber once. It was a recently acquired rifle and I wrote it off as a slightly gummy action. Good thing I didn't see anything I wanted to shoot! I hunted with another rifle for the rest of that trip, didn't find the patch until I got home. Nowadays when I get thru cleaning a rifle I check the bore. Needless to say, if something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.

[Copper75]

Ask me how big a hole a 300 WSM makes in the cloth sides of a pop up blind. A buddy did it not once but on two different occasions. You could almost step out of that side :)
Barrel goes out first BEFORE I raise the rifle to my shoulder now.

[OBXPilgrim]

Got to an indoor pistol match one night - was shooting my S&W M15 38. Command to load & make ready. Boolits won't seat, that last step of crimping does have a purpose.

[destrux]

That's ok I did the same thing hunting groundhogs. Forgot to load the rifle scared the game off with the click, then missed when I decided as a last ditch to try smacking a running groundhog at 75 yards with the pistol. I got pretty close with the pistol though I hit about 3 inches under it.

Then the next time out... the same spot and likely the same groundhog I missed 2 feet over its back because I was on my way walking to the range to check my zero after boresighting my new scope... yeah the zero was off a little.

[9.3X62AL]

Just saw this thread......"Football Bat". THAT is too funny!

My faux pas and eff-ups are legion and serial. No doubt as to my feet being made of clay--but I should let the material set up before walking in them.

[9.3X62AL]

Got to an indoor pistol match one night - was shooting my S&W M15 38. Command to load & make ready. Boolits won't seat, that last step of crimping does have a purpose.

This goes for 45 ACP loads as well. I just did a re-run of about 600 rounds of 45 ACP to set taper crimp at .470". I have no idea how this occurred, I'm generally pretty mindful of such things. Of course, this meant that checks had to be made on ALL of the 9mm, 40 S&W, and 10mm ammo for taper crimp diameters. All good. ---- happens.

[rmark]

9x18 makarov cartridge into 9mm luger chamber. Left nice range rod at home when taking muzzleloaders to the range. Forgot 20 ga ammo for one trip. Prefer coke and captain morgan, arrgh matey.

However I once got two dove with one shot.

[Griz44mag]

Was quail hunting with a friend (who raises some of the best dogs in Texas) and using a shotgun I had never picked up before, It was shooting far right and I did not realize it.
After the third miss, the dog goes tearing off into the brush and brings back a live quail, hands it off to me still fluttering wildly as if to say "Here dummy, this is what a quail looks like" That was 30 years ago, and I still get ribbed for it every time we meet.

[9.3X62AL]

However I once got two dove with one shot.

Only once for that here--and with a 410 3" and #9s. I've hunted doves for 47 years without let-up, and using all 5 shotshell gauges--but my only double was with a 410. Go figure.

HA! I had a dog do that to my friend and I after we both missed about 8 pheasants in a row. Duchess dived into a brushpile, came out with a rooster, gave it one good shake, and dropped it at my friend's feet. That was 40+ years ago, and we still laugh about it today. Dogs are the best.

[popper]

My FIL loved bird hunting, not always 'in-season' He also loved dogs (labs). Pheasant in the corn field, saw the dust coming down the road so they put everything in the trunk. Warden pulls up and Queeny trots out of the stubble & proceeds to place a bird in his hand, repeatedly. Claimed he didn't know who's dog it was. That dog would also make the neighborhood rounds and place all the 'found' birds on Bob's porch. Think they had a BB at the watering hole with a scoreboard and a request to return the 'edible' parts.

[daniel lawecki]

How about packing everything you need. Only to find you packed the wrong ammo or wrong gun I,ve done it twice.

[HABCAN]

Those dogs CAN embarrass you. My first Lab bitch was a lot smarter than her young master..........and after repeated misses on pond-side mallards, she just retrieved my empty shells and scornfully dropped them at my feet with 'The Look', LOL! Best dog I ever had. RIP......and we'll meet at Rainbow Bridge!