What a woman wants vs. a man

[cattleskinner]

WOMAN'S POEM

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.

I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

MAN'S POEM

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs
who owns a liquor store and a golf course. This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a ****.

[Bret4207]

Hilarious! And true.

Just so everyone is clear, this is the limit of how far to take language on this site and maybe a bit over. Anybody has a problem with that, refer to the last line of the mans poem.

[45nut]

Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
And if anyone really knows what that answer is maybe they can spare another man a beating and tell us.

[BruceB]

And if anyone really knows what that answer is maybe they can spare another man a beating and tell us.

And, this reminds me of the 'politically incorrect' answer to the question, "Do these jeans make my behind look big?"

Answer with THIS at your own risk: "You don't need those jeans to make your behind look big...."

[Powderpacker]

And, this reminds me of the 'politically incorrect' answer to the question, "Do these jeans make my behind look big?"

Answer with THIS at your own risk: "You don't need those jeans to make your behind look big...."

Alternative answer for those with a death wish, " No, it's all the pizza and desserts that make your behind look big."

[slughammer]

And if anyone really knows what that answer is maybe they can spare another man a beating and tell us.

My stock answer to these types of questions.


Holding one hand up like blocking the rays from the sun.

"I can not see a thing, I am blinded by your beauty."

[ARKANSAS PACKRAT]

I recently had an opportunity to test a new relationship, Or a new old relationship (last saw and talked to her 25 yers ago), we're not kids. She wore a pair of white jeans that did make her butt look big, a couple days later came the test.
She had on blue jeans, I told her that they looked much better than the white ones and why!! She laughed and said she did not know that! Her reaction helped me decide she might be a keeper! I did get invited back, she's in PA, I'm in AR!
Nick

[CT Kid]

Two more line for the woman's poem.

"And as I look across the bed.
I look at the creep you sent instead."